A Present to Appreciate

I appreciate giving and getting presents at Christmas time, but Christmas was tough (again) this year because of Covid. We weren’t able to get together indoors like normal, so we had to drop off presents and then “Facetime” family members as they opened up their gifts. Thank goodness for technology, but at the same time, thank goodness for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas because, in a way, they are like a special sneak peek at a piece of heaven.

Christmas brings up good memories for me. But if I think back on my life, it’s easy to remember lots of little “heavenly” moments throughout my life that have affixed themselves to the fabric of my being.

- There was this huge storm, but I ignored the rain and drove 9 straight hours to get to a hospital in San Francisco. When I walked in they ushered me to a room where newborn babies are kept, and for the very first time I stared down into the twinkling eyes of a four-day-old baby boy who would later that day become my son.

- I was single and lonely and went on a rare date with a young woman who was on my softball team. We won our Wednesday night game and she suggested we stop by Claim Jumper Restaurant to celebrate. I thought the whole team was coming, but it turned out she only invited me. When I looked into her eyes, something magical happened that night and I fell totally in love with her. When I asked her if I could kiss her, she said, “If you kiss me tonight, you will never stop!” She was right.

- It was just one of those normal evenings at home when I knelt next to my youngest daughter at her bedside. I tucked her in, we said our prayers together, and I kissed her goodnight. Later that evening, when I went back upstairs to check on her, I found her sleeping soundly with the softest smile on her sweet little face. There was something that night about the way she said, “I love you, Dad”, that simply melted my heart and at the same time, made me realize that everything in my life was going to be okay.

There are so many special little moments in time that can stick with you over the years. Each one a unique gift, each one magical, each one memorable.

And that got me thinking… Maybe those precious moments in time are actually just a sneak peek at what heaven will be like. And if that’s true, then maybe heaven isn’t just a future destination to desire, maybe it’s also a present situation to appreciate!

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. 

~ Charles Dickens 

A Christmas Carol, 1843

Joy To The World

One of my fondest memories of childhood was building something alongside my Dad. He was extremely handy, had this great collection of tools, and was always fixing up things around our house.

When I was six, I was too young to actually help my Dad. But I watched him work and watched him sweat, and knew that I wanted to be just like him. So one day when my Dad was at work, I found a bunch of scrap cardboard and decided to build a fort and attach it to our fence. I “borrowed” some of my Dad’s tools and proceeded to bang dozens of nails into the cardboard and all the way through the fence, which by the way was also the neighbor’s fence. When my Dad got home and saw those huge nails sticking through the fence into the neighbor’s yard, he probably wasn’t very happy. But I don’t remember him yelling at me. What I remember is how he showed me his collection of glass baby food jars, all organized with different types of nails and screws, and how each one had a different purpose.

Those times spent working with my Dad were some of the best times in my life. He taught, I learned, and we bonded over being able to create things together. I always wanted my sons to have that same experience, so I often asked them to help me build things around our house. In fact, I am still doing that!

This weekend, I volunteered to construct a large wooden Gazebo at my daughter’s house. After the parts were delivered (and instead of paying a contractor $800), I figured with a little help I could do it for her for free. What I didn’t think about was that both of my sons-in-law were out of town, and my oldest son had moved to Spokane, WA. But that’s okay, I still had my youngest son and my 80-year-old Father-in-law in town. They were both actually excited to help out and showed up both days to give me a hand.

It took us a while to unpack the 75 wooden pieces needed, along with the 524 assorted nuts, bolts, lag screws, washers, and fittings. At one point when one of the large boxes was almost empty, I tripped and splatted face first into the cardboard box on the ground. My son thought that was pretty funny, but don’t worry, I got him back for laughing at me by making him carry all the heavy stuff. The three of us worked really hard all-day Saturday and half of Sunday and guess what.. we only got the Gazebo halfway done! What’s that saying, “Things always take longer than you figure”. They sure do, but it sure was fun!

And that got me thinking… Getting together with other people to fix something, build something, or somehow make something better, usually creates a wonderful bonding experience for people, bringing more joy into the world. And I have to think that this is a period of time in our history when it would be really great if we could all just bring a little more joy to the world!

Gazebo Parts

Gazebo Prep

Halfway Home!

The finished Gazebo will eventually look like this...

I hope!

Objects made of wood by children, left to their own devices, 

will usually be ten percent wood and ninety percent nails.

~ Robert Paul Smith

The Greater Good

I have been struggling lately with a dilemma caused by the pandemic. We seem to have been split into two groups, the vaccinated and the non-vaccinated, and my dilemma is how to keep an open mind and show love and respect to both sides. For full disclosure, let me just say that I have had both shots and the booster and fully support everyone getting the Covid-19 vaccine. There are multiple reasons why I support it, and three of the  reasons were made crystal clear for me two weeks ago on a  Sunday evening.

My wife received a phone call Sunday evening from her father, Tom. He was having heart palpitations, and thought it might be a serious heart issue. He is 80 and has a pacemaker, so my wife told him to stay calm and called 911 immediately. To complicate matters even more, Tom’s wife has late-stage Alzheimer’s and cannot be left alone. Fortunately, upon arriving at their home, we found the ambulance pulling away with Tom, but discovered a paramedic had volunteered to stay with Tom’s wife until we arrived. That was really nice of him, but I saw that he wasn’t wearing a mask. He explained to me he wanted Tom’s wife to be able to see his face, and see him smile, so she would be less scared. That was thoughtful and it drove home a point, Point #1… that front line workers are definitely putting themselves in harm’s way every day by helping people, even those that might give them the Covid virus.

That point was driven home a second time when I arrived at the hospital. My wife stayed with her Mom, while I went to be with Tom and let me tell you, the Emergency Room is never a place you want to be, especially on weekends. It was extremely crowded, and yet I wasn’t allowed to enter unless I could show proof that I was vaccinated. Which brings me to Point #2… I had my vaccine card with me, otherwise I would not have been able to be with a loved one who was hurting and suffering.

I stayed with Tom for hours, doing my best to take his mind off his troubles. I was determined to be there for Tom and silently prayed for him to be okay. My prayers gave me confidence, and so did the outstanding staff at Mission Hospital. There were two doctors and three nurses that worked on Tom. They were fast, they were efficient, and they took great care of Tom despite the constant chaos going on in the Emergency Room and Tom was able to go home, feeling much better, that same evening. Watching all that happen made for Point #3… If I’m vaccinated and still get Covid, it’s likely I won’t end up at a hospital taking up a very needed bed for someone else who might be having a heart attack or some other serious medical issue, not of their own doing.  

I respect people’s right to decide for themselves whether or not to get vaccinated. But that hospital visit was extremely eye opening! Seeing firsthand how hard those doctors and nurses are working made me appreciate them so much more. I’m glad I’m vaccinated and doing my part to stay out of the hospital and I’m glad that my family and most of my friends feel the same way. For my handful of friends that are not vaccinated, you’re still my friend, and I still care very much about you… and that is why I am writing this message pleading with you to reconsider. In other words, please consider the greater good.

For anything worth having one must pay the price; 

and the price is always work, patience, love, 

and self- sacrifice for the greater good.

~ John Burroughs

Intended To Be

Last week I mentioned that I wrote a serious Monday Message about the divisiveness caused by the pandemic. However, because of Thanksgiving, I chose to hold off publishing it and write something related to Thanksgiving instead. Well, now something happened over Thanksgiving that relates to both being thankful and divisiveness, so my serious message will have to wait one more week.

If you’ve been reading my Monday Messages for a while then you may remember that I have a sister. You may also remember that we haven’t spoken in years and the problems between us run deep. She is a little bit older than me, and it makes me sad that we have never been close, not even when we were kids, but I won’t go into the problems between us. I’ll just say that she has never liked me or wanted me to be a part of her life. Holidays are a constant reminder of this sad situation in my life.

With both of our parents gone now and both of us now in our sixties, I decided a couple of months ago to reach out to her. I sent her a couple of very simple, brief letters asking about her health (I heard she was struggling with diabetes) and expressing a desire to connect. I hoped my short letters would convey my sincere desire to open a line of communication. Surprisingly, she responded. Not surprising, the first line in her letter was, “You’re my brother, but that doesn’t mean I have to like you.” The rest of the letter was a series of difficult questions mixed with pointed accusations and as I read it I could tell that she was in a lot of pain, struggling with her feelings towards me, as well as the loss of our parents.

I sat on her letter for several weeks before responding. My first instinct was to be totally blunt and tell her off once and for all. But my Christian side wouldn’t let me. In fact, after thinking about it and praying about it, I decided to step back and take a look at the big picture. She has had a lot of struggles in her life and a lot of health issues that I haven’t had to deal with. So I can’t say that I have ever walked in her shoes, nor am I qualified to judge her or anyone else. As I was mulling this over in my mind, I came across a story in the Bible about how Jesus meets a troubled Samaritan woman who has had a hard life and how, “His eyes saw her not as she was, but as she was intended to be.”

I took that as “sign” and wrote a response back to my sister last month containing honest answers, but I expressed them in a loving and caring manner. I also sent her a birthday card. On Thanksgiving morning I received my first ever unsolicited, very nice, “Happy Thanksgiving” text message from my sister. Who knows, maybe she is starting to see me… not as I am, but as I was intended to be!

Despise no one, since every one has his place in God’s design.

                               ~ Austin O’Malley

 

 

Unwrapped Presents

Yesterday, I wrote a really serious Monday Message about the divisiveness created by the pandemic. However, when my wife read it, she said that although it was an important message, well done and very dynamic, it should wait. This is not the week to create a stir, this is the week to be stirring in the kitchen, creating a wonderful meal for family members and friends. A week to be thankful for all the things that the pandemic has not stolen from us.

I thought about what she said, and as usual she was right. However, thinking about my life right now, it feels like there are so many bad things going on. I have five family members with health issues and a 50-year-old cousin who just passed away leaving her two teenage boys without a mom. I have a friend battling stomach cancer and another friend who was killed in a car wreck in Mexico last week. The sad thing is, I know I’m not alone because everyone has problems. But here’s a good thought… everyone has something to be thankful for as well! Obviously if you are reading this you are still alive, so at least you’ve got that going for you! So if you are still breathing, maybe it’s a good time to count your blessings and also count out those who make a positive difference in your life. Start with your spouse, your children, or your best friend. That’s easy, but what about the others….the other people in this world that make your life easier… but yet are so easy to take for granted?

I challenge you to create a “Thankful List”. Write down a short list of just 3 people in your life that you would normally tend to overlook. Write their name down and then write them a note explaining why you are thankful they are part of your life. Then mail it to them. You should expect nothing in return. But my guess is that you will be surprised at the impact your words of gratitude will have on the unsuspecting people who find out that they have touched your life in a positive way!

As I wrote out my “Thankful List” (see list on next page) it got me thinking… I know inside I have always felt grateful for the good people that I come across in my daily life, but I just haven’t taken time to do anything about it. I guess feeling gratitude and not making the effort to express it is kind of like going to the trouble to buy someone a present…but then never wrapping  it!

Happiness is the spiritual experience of

                                          living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.                                                                                 ~ Dennis Waitley

“WRAPPED PRESENTS”

Dear Scott and Rhonda, (Our Friends)

Thank you so much for allowing my wife to swim so many times in your backyard pool this past summer. She loves to swim but with our Fitness Center shut down, and with Covid going on and with her having immunity issues, she been pretty much “locked up” at home for the past 19 months. So your generous offer of allowing her to swim in your big, beautiful pool has done wonders for her health and happiness!

 Dear Don, (Our Pastor)

Thank you for continuing to pastor the Church despite the restrictions created by the pandemic. I know it must be really hard on you to have to prepare your Sunday sermons and only be allowed to present them via computer, instead of in person. But I want you to know that my wife and I enjoy your messages very much and often share what we learn with others. Your church may seem smaller to you these days, but I assure you that your messages reach far wider, and do more good, than you will ever know!

 

Dear Tim, (Our former Landlord)

My wife and I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for the past eight years that you were our landlord. Renting your beautiful beach house was a slice of heaven for us and having a caring person like you as our landlord was a real blessing. If something went wrong, we always knew we could count on you, and we appreciate how you went out of your way to keep us posted when there was dangerous high surf or other important issues happening on Beach Road. We miss you and your lovely wife and hope that you are enjoying your retirement now that your beach house has been sold.

Joe is a Jerk

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I can be a pretty terrible person. Why? Because I can be unnecessarily judgmental towards people without even realizing it... and that ain’t good!

On Friday, I took my 80-year-old Father-in-Law, Tom,  golfing at Oso Creek Golf Course. Tom is going through an extremely tough time in his life because his beloved wife of 60 years is terminally ill. So I feel like I should get Tom out of the house once in a while to have a little fun and get his mind off things.

To me, a golf course is a perfect place to find peace and solitude. The grass is always so green, the trees so very lush, and communing with nature is a little bit like snuggling up closer to God. (Well, that’s my opinion anyway.) So I was anxious to spend time with Tom and let him breathe a little fresh air.

When we arrived, we were paired with a single, a man named Larry, making us a threesome, which is normally fine. However, after Larry introduced himself, and told us a little bit about himself, he continued to talk. And talk, and talk, and talk. Larry seemed like he might be an interesting guy, with an amazing memory. How do I know that? Because he told us at least a dozen old time golf jokes, most of which we’ve heard before, but we politely laughed anyway. I tried to be nice to him, but his constant noise was affecting my golf game, which went completely south on the front nine. The good thing was that Tom on the other hand was having the round of his life. So I tried to spend my time encouraging Tom and avoiding Larry, but that wasn’t really possible.

By the 17^th hole, I had turned my score around and just needed to PAR the last two holes to finish with a decent score. However, the whole time I was lining up my putt and stroking the ball on 17, Larry was stroking his gums and telling another stupid story. Needless to say, I missed the putt on 17 and walked away thinking, “Man, that Larry is some kind of jerk.”

I was really glad when the round was over, so I gave Larry a quick little fist bump and quickly walked off the 18^th green. However, he followed me to my golf cart, and quietly said, “I really enjoyed playing with you guys. I’m 82 years old and blind in one eye, so I don’t play well these days, and all my golf buddies have passed away. So getting to spend time with you guys at this beautiful golf course was a real treat for me. Thank you!”

Did I say Larry was a jerk? I meant… Joe is a jerk!

You never know what people are going though. 

Each person has a story to tell. 

So instead of being so overly  judgmental. 

Why not just listen well.

~ Charmaine J. Forde

The Greater Gift

Inspiration can come in many forms. But when we are truly inspired by the words or deeds of others, it can often be life changing. I pondered that thought Saturday morning as I struggled to think of a good birthday gift to give my 15-year-old grandson who was born on Halloween.

When I was a struggling salesperson at 21, I was given the gift of a book called, “The Greatest Salesman in the World”. That book was a huge inspiration to me, teaching me that honesty and integrity should be the core values of my life. By age 23, I was the top salesman in the company.

Although I had a successful business of my own by the age of 32, I knew something was still missing from my life. Then I heard an ad on the radio asking for volunteers to install a Cross on top of historic Battle Mountain in San Diego. Taking on that project and hiking up that mountain over and over again for 6 months, not only increased my physical strength, it strengthened my spiritual side as well. The inspiration provided by that beautiful Cross, an awesome gift from God, still guides me in my faith today.

At 39, I married the love of my life who gave me a wedding gift that I will forever appreciate. The gift she gave me was teaching me the value of focusing on others while putting myself second. She was only 33 at the time, but within just a few short years, she took a small struggling charity and built it into a multi-million-dollar agency feeding thousands of hungry families every month. Her gift of selflessness to others inspired me then, and continues to inspire me now.

Looking back at all the things that provided major inspiration in my life, I realize one of the very first events happened when I was too was 15 years old. I desperately wanted to figure out a way to get a car by the time I turned 16. So I asked my Dad about it, but he couldn’t afford to help me financially. However, he did find a way to help me. He sat me down and explained to me that the secret to getting anything you wanted in life involved only two words… hard work!

Remembering that life lesson gift my Dad gave me got me thinking. And suddenly, I knew exactly what I should give my grandson for his birthday… a gift far greater than anything money can buy!

All of our dreams can come true 

if we simply have the courage to pursue them.

~ Walt Disney

        P.S. If you are curious about what it was I gave my grandson, read the letter attached.

Dear Jack.

Happy 15^th Birthday!

I would like to give you something special for your birthday, an envelope. Inside it is a small amount of money… mixed with a large amount of inspiration!

When I was 15 years old, I started dreaming about having my own truck someday and all the freedom that goes with driving. So I went to my Dad and asked him if he would help me buy a truck when I got to be 16. He said he couldn’t afford it.

My Dad was in the Marine Corps, and they aren’t paid that much. But two days later he came to me and apologized and said, “Son, I can’t really help you financially, but I can do two things for you. Here is an envelope that says, “Joe’s Truck” on the outside and inside is a $20 bill.” (At that time, $20 was a lot of money.) My Dad went on to say, “I talked to our neighbor, the rancher named Jack, and asked him if he needed any help on his ranch during the summer. He said yes, so if you go talk to him and impress him, he might give you a part time job. That way you can start adding more money to this envelope every week. Who knows, maybe within a year, if you work hard and keep looking for part time jobs, you might have enough money in that envelope to buy yourself a used truck!”

I worked on Jack’s Ranch all summer making $1.25 an hour, plus I took on other part time jobs after school, like working at a gas station. By the time I turned 16, I had exactly $300 in that envelope. So I checked the newspapers, and found a 1960 Chevy Truck for only $350.00. My Dad said we should go check it out and maybe the guy would come down on the price.

We went to see the truck and it was just an old white Pick Up, but I fell in love with it. When I asked the guy if he would go down to $300, he said no. My Dad then told the guy how hard I had worked the past year to raise my own money and the guy thought about it. Then he changed his mind and said, “I will go down to $320.00. That’s it. Take it or leave it!” My Dad saw the sad look in my face, broke out his wallet and counted out $19 in bills, plus $1 in quarters from his pocket… and I drove away smiling like I had just won the lottery.

I took great care of that truck because I understood how hard it was to make the money to buy it. It was my “first love” but it was also the first real inspiration that sparked my work ethic, and that inspiration went on to guide me to a very successful work life and career.

I hope this story inspires you to work hard and have a good successful life of your own!

Love you,

 

Grandpa Joe

The Unexpected

People like surprises and people like thoughtfulness. Sometimes those two things can go together quite nicely!

My wife, Debby, is a master at it. She is always thinking about others and doing nice things for people. Me not so often. She is also willing to sacrifice her time to put in time for others. Me not so much. She is also really clever and gifted at gift giving. Me not at all!

Debby sets a really good example. So on Saturday morning I decided I would try, in some small way, to follow her lead. Unfortunately, I’m not good at picking out gifts. In fact, I am the worst gift “picker outer” in the world, which I get from my Mom. She once gave my youngest daughter a fur trimmed blouse for Christmas. We still laugh about that “fuzzy squirrel shirt” 20 years later.  

It took me a while to figure things out, but it finally dawned on me that the best gifts are the ones you make yourself. And although I can’t really cook, there is one thing that my wonderful, thoughtful Mother (trying to make up for slamming my Mom above) taught me, how to make really tasty southern style Biscuits and Gravy. The secret is to start with two pounds of bacon (because everything tastes better with bacon) and a whole lot of continuous stirring as you make the gravy. Throw in the right amount of salt and pepper and voila! Lead sinkers!

After creating a huge batch of biscuits and gravy, possibly my best batch ever, I packed the goodies into three separate snap-ware bowls and headed out the door. My goal was to surprise and delight my three adult children and their families who live nearby. Needless to say, I made their day, and even surprised myself in a way!

Making a tasty breakfast and driving it all over town wasn’t easy. But I learned something. Sometimes doing the unexpected can be really fun and satisfying… for the people on both ends!

He who gives when he is asked, has waited too long. 

Give when it is unexpected.

~ Seneca

There Must Be A Reason

I was awarded a Metals Inspection Project last week for street light poles on Alta Knoll Drive in Santa Clarita. I knew it was going to be a long drive, but since there were only 22 poles to inspect, I thought it would be a fairly quick and easy project. I couldn’t have been more wrong!

The job consisted of inspecting the metal at the base of each street light pole. Unfortunately, I had to push a heavy roll cart filled with tools and the poles were spaced about a hundred yards apart. That may not seem so bad, but 22 poles equals 2200 yards, which is 1 ½ miles! And not only, I discovered when I got there that Alta Knoll Drive is one heck of a super steep, extremely narrow, winding mountain road with “No Parking” signs the entire length.

I had to park at one end or the other, so I chose to park at the top of the street and work my way down with my roll cart. Pretty smart, right! The other smart thing was that I took orange safety cones with me and although several cars tried to squash me into the guard rail, I somehow managed to survive. Now my problem was I had to leave my roll cart behind and hike back up the long road. I decided to carry some of my more expensive tools and equipment with me so they wouldn’t get stolen, but by the time I was halfway up the mountain, I was gassed! By the time I finally got to my truck at the top of the road, my legs were burning, my lungs were burning, and my throat was on fire. I drank an entire bottle of water in 10 seconds. Then I sat there exhausted and thought to myself, “This is really hard work and you’re not young anymore, so why are you doing this? There must be a reason!”

When I got home my wife made a great meal and we sat out on our patio to enjoy the view. She asked me if we could talk about Christmas, which was interesting because Christmas is months away. But she explained she was worried about our budget this year, and since I am only working part-time, she wanted to plan ahead to make sure there was enough money to cover everyone on our list. (My wife loves to buy thoughtful presents for deserving people!) As I reviewed her list, I saw a name I hadn’t seen on our Christmas list before, Nelia, who is the caretaker we hired to help my wife’s mother who has Alzheimer’s. Nelia is an amazing woman with a heart of gold who is providing outstanding care to someone we love, at a time when she really needs it. I agree with my wife that we should buy her something really nice at Christmas time. In fact, I think her generous nature is one of the things I love most about her.

So why I am still working hard at age 66 to make a little extra money? I think I figured out the reason!

There are three things in life that should be important.

The first is to be thoughtful. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be generous.

        ~ Henry James

Worldly Wisdom

I have a problem. Okay, some people would say I have a lot of problems, but there is one problem in particular that has plagued me my whole life. I allow myself to be “too busy”, and it’s not a good thing!

Actually, I think it’s good to work hard and be productive. But it’s also important to lead a balanced life putting faith, family, and friends first, and work second. But even when it comes to faith, family, and friends, it’s easy for me to get overloaded. So with the holidays coming up, arguably the busiest time of year for everyone, I have decided to try to slow my life down a little and enjoy myself more.

As I write that decision down and think about it, I find myself thinking about my friend Pao Chi Chen. She was 88  years old when I ran her over with my truck. Somehow she survived and we became very close friends. She lived to be 95 years old, and her life was incredibly hard at times, but she also became a famous artist who traveled the world and spoke four languages. Over the years, she amassed an amazing amount of life experience as well as worldly wisdom and yet one of her main passions was gardening. She spoke of several beautiful garden exhibits in China that she loved to visit as a little girl. She said she enjoyed the beauty of a garden and that it helped her to “slow down”. I will never forget when she told me that, because she was looking straight into my eyes at the time, trying to impart some wisdom to this middle-aged businessman with his head up his butt.

Pao Chi Chen passed away at 95, but I will never forget her or her wonderful words of wisdom. Earlier this morning, I was reading and came across a story about a beautiful garden in Peking, China. Instantly I thought about Pao Chi Chen and wondered if this was one of the gardens she visited as a child. The book described the garden in great detail. It was enclosed by a high wall. In the center on a stone wall, surrounded by twining red and white flowers, was a brass plate almost two feet long. The words on the brass plate were in Mandarin Chinese.

When translated into English: 

Enjoy Yourself

It's Later Than You Think!

Time For This One To Come Home

Life is full of surprises, mainly because things are always changing. For example, my wife and I have been renting a home on Beach Road for 10 years now, and have really been happy living here. But unfortunately, our home was just sold, and the new owners are planning to radically increase the rent, which means we will be moving soon. I wonder if we can find a new home that we will be happy with?

When I was 14, I lived with my parents in a nice home in a little town called Fallbrook. They took me to church every Sunday, where the very first seeds of my faith were sown. I was happy there.  

When I was 16, my parents moved to San Francisco. I ended up living in a tiny plywood shack with no electricity, no running water, and no bathroom. To me it was an adventure, and I was happy living there.

When I was 24, I bought my first home. It was in a newly constructed area off El Toro Road, built for low-income people like me, and therefore affordable. It was just a small simple home, with no yard or landscaping, not even a fence. I had to work really hard to fix it up, but I was happy living there.

When I got divorced at 37, I was living in a brand new four-bedroom view home with a pool. I had to sell it at a loss, and move temporarily to one of those extended stay Motels in Irvine. It was just a room, but it was mine, and I was happy there.

When I was 48 and remarried, my loving wife and I built a custom home in Coto de Caza. It was a three-story Tuscan Estate on an acre of land with a gorgeous view. It had four bedrooms, plus an office, a gym, a movie theater room, and a pool with a spa. Needless to say, I was happy there, and so was she.

When I was 56 and our four children were all grown and gone, we decided to downsize. My wife thought it would be fun to rent a house at the beach for a month while we looked for a new home to buy. However, we never made time to look for a new home because we immediately fell in love with the beach. She was right, it has been fun, and I have been really happy here.

At the age of 66, I am used to things changing. While I do not know where I will end up next, and I do not know what my next home will look like, I do know I will always be happy no matter where my home is. Why? I think it’s because I have always known where my final home is going to be!

Drizzle, Drazzle, Druzzle, Drome; time for this one to come home.

~ from the 1960’s Cartoon "Tooter Turtle" 

Moments In Time

Being bold is hard. Have you ever been asked to speak in public? Or called on in the classroom to give an answer? Or asked to give a toast at a wedding? Having the courage to speak up in front of others is never easy. But there are times when it is really important to speak up or find some way to share your opinion or an important message that might benefit others.

That is in essence the purpose of my Monday Messages, to relate an inspiring message without sounding like I am preaching. But it’s very difficult at times. I want to inspire people to think about the important things in life, yet I am not a pastor, and therefore not qualified to preach. I have however, lived a life made incredibly amazing by my faith. So how do I boldly share my faith with my wife, my family, my friends, and even strangers… without turning them off? The answer isn’t that difficult!

This weekend, my wife and I went wine tasting in Temecula. My youngest daughter’s birthday is today, and my wife’s birthday is tomorrow. So we wanted to spend time this weekend, with both of our daughters and their husbands, celebrating birthdays. Six of us got together (with me as the designated driver - bummer dude!) and visited several wineries off of Rancho California Road. At the first stop, Miramonte Vineyards, we were seated on couches in a really classy private Cabana with a table filled with charcuterie and excellent wine flights. Before we tasted anything, my wife handed me a piece of paper and asked the group if “Dad” could read something before we started. What she handed me was an inspiring parable about the importance of all the unique passengers we meet as we “ride through the different train stations of life”. We didn’t realize the waitress was listening nearby, but afterwards, she commented that she admired a family that started their wine tasting with an inspiring parable!

Our second stop was at Doffo Vineyards, which was a very different vibe. More of a biker gang hangout, with dozens of antique motorcycles on display. After the heavily tattooed waitress approached our table and took our order, she asked me a question. “What does the I Am Second on your bracelet mean?” She laughed and said, “Does it mean You Are Second to None?” I laughed and said, “No. It’s a reminder that I should always consider myself second to God, and put Him first.” She smiled thoughtfully… and said, “I like that!”

There were a couple of unique moments in time this weekend, where I didn’t stand up in front of a crowd and I didn’t preach either. Or just maybe I did!

Faith makes things possible, not easy.

~ Anonymous 

Random Acts

What is the cost of a random act of kindness? Probably not very much.

Last Monday I was leaving my house with my wife, and we were running late. As I pulled out from my parking spot on the street, I noticed a jogger running by. What I didn’t notice was that I was bumping into a trash can. Which then knocked over another trash can. Which then spilled the contents of both trash cans all over the street. I pulled over, but before I even got back. the jogger had turned around and was picking up the trash for me.

On Tuesday, I was working on a Light Pole Inspection Project at a large shopping center. I was having trouble with the poles along the perimeter because of thick hedges and heavy brush, when I suddenly noticed movement. I thought it was an animal, but when I parted the bushes to take a look, I saw a woman and a young child laying on an old blanket on the ground, trying to stay in the shade. They didn’t notice me, and I didn’t want to scare them, so I walked away. But then I walked over to the In-And-Out Restaurant nearby, bought a couple of gift cards, and took them back and dropped them over the fence.

On Wednesday, when I went to my regular weekly golf match with my buddy Scott, I forgot my Yeti Bag with my food and drinks. It was really hot out, and I was getting thirsty. When we made the turn and were on the back nine, my competitor, without me even asking, walked over and handed me a large Gatorade.

On Thursday I was having a really rough day. I was having trouble getting an insurance certificate approved from my insurance company, one of my ultrasonic machines was acting up and was obviously going to need some expensive repair work, and my back was hurting me way more than usual. Around 9:00pm I just wanted to call it a day and go to bed, when I got a random text from one of my kids that simply said, “Love you Dad.”

What is a random act of kindness worth? Probably more than you think!

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

~ Aesop 

The Love In Your Heart

I love playing golf because it’s always outdoors in a beautiful environment, and most often played with good friends or family. The other benefit is that you can often discover a lot of life lessons from playing the game. In fact, today’s Monday Message was inspired by golf, not so much by playing it, as by not being able to play it. Let me explain…

The past couple of weeks I have been struggling with back pain. So, I’ve had to limit the amount of golf I play. Granted, most people my age have problems with back pain, but luckily mine seems intermittent. (Although some would say that I am a pain in the ass all the time!) Fortunately, most of the time, even when I struggle to get out of bed in the morning, I can still swing a golf club. But not this past Saturday.

My wife and I were scheduled to play golf with my daughter, Nikki, and her husband, Andrew. I was really looking forward to it because I love golf and I love my son-in-law. He is an amazing young man, a hard worker who treats my daughter with a ton of respect, while always treating her like he is madly in love with her. We are blessed to have him in our lives, and since it was his birthday coming up, I really wanted to show him (and her) a good time.

When we arrived at the golf course, I did not do my usual warm up routine. Mainly because after only two practice swings, my back started barking very loudly at me. But then Andrew and Nikki pulled up, laughing and smiling, just two young people in love out to have a good time together. I thought about bailing out, but after seeing their big smiles I decided to suck it up instead and play for as long as possible because Saturday wasn’t about me, it was about showing love to others.

On the first tee, I somehow hit one of the best drives I’ve ever hit on that hole and made PAR. More importantly, my back only hurt a little. On the second tee, I drove the ball straighter and farther than I ever have on that hole, and made PAR again. Nikki and Andrew were having fun too. Nikki doesn’t golf much, but on Saturday she was hitting drives off the tee like a pro. We were all laughing and having a great time. By the time 9 holes were over my back was killing me, but I had just played some of the best golf of my life. More importantly, I got to spend time with people I care about and show them my love.

Even though my back was hurting, and I wasn’t able to finish the round, I had a great time and hopefully my family enjoyed it even more. Despite the pain, on the drive home I was really happy! But I kept thinking, “How on earth was I able to hit so many great drives with such a screwed up back?” And then I remembered the lesson from last week’s Monday Message. “To find happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves.”

The love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay, 

love isn’t love until you give it away.

~ Oscar Hammerstein

For A Good Reason

Somebody said to me the other day, “Well, you know, things always happen for a reason”. That saying bothers me because it seems like it’s missing an adjective. Shouldn’t it be, “Things always happen for a good reason” or “Things always happen for a bad reason” or how about “for no reason at all”?

I’m not sure what the proper saying should be. But his comment got me thinking about the strangers I meet, who sometimes become valuable friends.

Two years ago, I gave up playing baseball and the worst part was losing connection with so many good friends. I decided to switch to golf, which is a little easier on the body, and is also a good way to make new friends. A few months later, when Covid first started, I remember signing up for an early tee time on a Wednesday morning, hoping to get paired up with somebody fun. When I arrived, I found out I was paired up with three people, and to my surprise one of them was the shortstop from my baseball team! I have always admired Scott for his baseball skills, friendly competitiveness, and unwavering willingness to help others. The other two people were Scott’s wife and a stranger named Dave.

That round of golf changed my life for the better during what seemed like a very dark time. We all enjoyed it so much, we decided to make it a regular weekly event, and we’ve been playing together ever since. It has given me something to look forward to each week and it has given me a new friend!

I didn’t know Dave before that day, but for some reason after one round of golf, I felt like I had known him my whole life. He turned out to be a fantastic golfer, despite being close to 70, but an even better human being. I have never met someone so positive and supportive to everyone around them. Whenever I hit a good shot, Dave is the loudest cheerleader on the course. Whenever I hit a bad shot, which is quite often, Dave is still my biggest fan picking up my spirits and reminding how fun the game can be. Dave is a retired Veterinarian, with an amazing intellect, a quick wit, an awesome sense of humor, and a generous spirit. In fact, just this past week, after finding out about my Monday Message Blog, Dave went out of his way to do something nice for me. He bought me a book called, “Light from many Lamps”, a treasury of inspirational stories with selected wisdom of the ages. How apropos, I mean what could be more perfect for a former light bulb salesman turned philosopher, then a book like that!

I mentioned above that I’m not sure what the proper wording for that old saying should be. But after meeting Dave, I’m absolutely positive that some things really do happen for a good reason!

To find happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves.

~ W. Beran Wolfe

   (from the book “Light from many Lamps"

Darkest Before the Dawn

Is the world a little darker than usual right now? Or is it just me?

Two years ago, my typical workday started early, with darkness outside my window. I would climb into my truck before the sun came up, and head out to do light pole inspection projects. I liked starting early when the world is a little quieter, my mind a little clearer, and the traffic a little lighter. As I drove, I would offer up a prayer of gratitude for all my blessings as I watched the sun rise up and paint the horizon a million bright new colors. Each day had so much possibility and promise, I couldn’t help but smile. Especially since I knew that when my day was done, I could head home to a woman I adore, and a home filled with love.

But things change, the world evolves, and we have to adapt to whatever life throws at us. Nobody saw the nightmare of a pandemic coming, killing millions of people worldwide, and negatively affecting every person on the face of the earth. But it happened, and unfortunately, it’s still happening. Sometimes, as I look at people on the streets, coming and going, most of them with masks on, the rest with frowns on, it just seems so very dark outside, even when the sun is high in the sky. Will things ever be normal again?

Last week I drove to the UPS Store to drop off some shipments. On my way home, I stopped at a red light on a busy street. I was lost in thought when I heard someone yelling. I looked up and realized an elderly man was yelling at me. What? I rolled down my window and heard him cuss at me for stopping with my truck partially in the crosswalk. He was truly angry and just stood there cursing and telling me what I jerk I am. My first reaction was surprise, then momentary anger, and then for some reason I just went calm. I leaned out the window and apologized. I said, “Hey, I’m sorry. You’re right, my mistake!”

That wasn’t good enough. He just kept berating me and telling me over and over again how people like me are stupid and inconsiderate. For whatever reason, I decided to smile and roll with the punches. As he finally walked away giving me the finger, I smiled and called out to him, “Well, I am truly sorry, and you definitely taught me a lesson!” I couldn’t see if he smiled back.

In my younger days, I would have let that old man have it. But I’m an old man now, and I no longer see myself as the center of the universe. Instead, I try to see the big picture. That elderly man may be struggling with cancer, or he might have recently lost his wife to Covid-19. There is no way for me to know how dark his world is right now. But what I do know is, that I don’t need to make it any darker. The only thing I can do these days is try my best to be a beacon of light and brighten the day of anyone I meet that crosses my path. But… hopefully in doing so, not infringe too much on their path!  

Anger and compassion are not too far apart, 

and whenever possible, anger should give way to compassion.

~ Ernest Hemingway