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Monday, March 25, 2024

The Way You Make Me Feel

Two weeks ago, I dedicated my Monday Message to a close friend of mine who passed away. While I’m positive that my friend, Jim, is in heaven and no longer suffering, I still feel the loss because Jim was such an extraordinarily nice and caring man. He embodied the philosophy that - If we truly care about others and take the time to stop and listen with our hearts, people will feel loved. 

As I am writing this story and pounding the keys on my keyboard, I can’t help but notice the black bracelet on my wrist… because it reminds me of Jim. It’s been there every single day for the past 10 years. It started in March of 2014. I had just finished up a meeting with the Purchasing Director of a large corporation and after the meeting was over, I had an opportunity to share my faith and tell a story about helping to install a 33’ tall Cross on top of Battle Mountain. My story must have touched him, because he immediately showed me a simple black bracelet on his wrist with the words, “I Am Second” on it, an expression of his faith that God always comes first. I thought the bracelet was really cool and said so. Later that week, when I arrived at my office I found an “I Am Second” bracelet laying on my desk, a gift from a newfound friend, who took the time to listen to me. And yeah, that made me feel good!

But the black bracelet story didn’t end there. One week later I was in a huge hurry to pick up some groceries for my wife who was hosting a party that evening. I literally ran through the store and after I tossed the groceries into my truck, I ran the cart over to the cart storage area where I noticed a young lady who worked for Ralphs. She took my cart from me but was staring at my arm. She blurted out, “That’s a cool bracelet! What does it say?” By her appearance and her difficulty with speech it was obvious that she was slightly disabled, but she had this really sincere smile. So even though I was running late I stopped and explained the meaning of the bracelet to her. Her smile got even bigger, and she said proudly, “I know all about God and He is good! Can I have one?” Her question took me by surprise, but it made me stop and think. I answered. “Yes of course you can.” I asked her what her name was, and she said, “Callie”, so I told her that I would bring her one in a few days.

Perhaps Callie was surprised that a stranger took time to talk with her. But you know what, it’s something I’m sure my friend Jim would have done. Hopefully it made her feel good and realize that she truly is important. Of course I don’t know for sure how she felt, but I do know she was smiling when I left and guess what….so was I! I may have been late for the party that day, but I learned something really important, putting someone else first before yourself is the same thing as putting God first!

Jim, if you are reading this, please know that I will never forget you… and I will never forget the way you made me feel. And Happy Easter to you!


And Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. 
Whosoever believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.
John 11:25


Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Never Stop

A lot of my recent Monday Messages have had some pretty serious subject matter.  So I thought I would keep it light this week. Below are some funny but true things I have learned as I have lived. (And I need to give credit for some of these to a small book called, “Good Stuff”.)

 Truths I Learned as a Child

Home-made clothes are not as comfortable as store bought clothes.

When Mom is mad at Dad don’t tell her you forgot to do your chores, just do them.

You can’t trust your dog to watch your food.

You can’t hide a piece of okra in a glass of milk.

When Mom says, “ You kids will be the death of me”, she doesn’t mean it.

 

 Truths I Learned as an Adult

Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.

Middle age is when you choose cereal with fiber, instead of with a toy.

If you can remain calm, you don’t have all the facts.

You’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder why you bent over.

 

 Truths I Learned as an Old Man

 Have patience with all things but first with yourself.

Never confuse your mistakes with your value as a human being.

You are a unique, one-of-a-kind, worthwhile person because God made you,

and He never makes mistakes, like we do!


Never Stop Learning, Because Life Never Stops Teaching!

 

Monday, March 11, 2024

Shared Faith

I read an interesting quote from Pastor Rick Warren this week. “God is far more concerned about who you are than what you do; He’s more interested in your character than He is in your career.”

That got me thinking about my career, the four companies I’ve owned, and all the people who have worked for me the past 40 years. My wife did most of the hiring, but she made it a point to always hire the person who had good character over someone with experience. Looking back, the outstanding people she hired were the main reason for our success with every single business.

Of course character and integrity have to start at the top. Therefore we made it our company goal that “Honesty, Integrity, and Respect” would define our company and all of our actions, and therefore worked hard to lead by example.

Unfortunately, as an owner I was quite often forced to make difficult decisions that tested my character. But over time I learned how to handle those problems, first with prayer, and then second, I would go ask my wife for advice. She’s the smart one!

I remember one really difficult issue with an employee that had been with me for many years. He was caught being dishonest and neither my wife nor I were sure what to do. But then she said something that I will never forget. “Do what you think is right, I have faith in you.”

Her faith in me gave me the courage and the motivation to make a lot of difficult decisions, despite not knowing what the outcome might be. In fact, her faith in me strengthened my faith in God, and that shared faith has given both of us a consistently happy and joyful life despite a fairly constant stream of typical life problems.

Which reminded me of another quote I read this week… “Shared joy is double the joy and shared sorrow is half the sorrow. So I hope you have someone special to share your life with. And if you don’t… then pick someone with the right character, not just someone with the right experience!

 If you would like to read a very short story about someone else whose wife had faith them… see below.


     Nathaniel Hawthorne went home one day and told his wife that

     He had just been fired from his job. “Good,” she said. “Now you

     can write your book.” “But what do we live on meanwhile?”

     His wife opened a drawer filled with money. “I have always known

     that you are a man of genius,” she said. “So I saved a little each week,

     and now I have enough to last us for a year.” Hawthorne used that

     time to write The Scarlet Letter, one of the greatest masterpieces

     of American literature.



Monday, March 4, 2024

A Good Thing - Part Two

In my Monday Message last week, I wrote about a different type of New Year’s resolution. I had this idea that instead of doing something to make my life better this year, I would do something that would make someone else’s life better. Seemed like a good thing, so I wrote and mailed my first “Letter of Encouragement” last week. 

And it worked! The person I wrote to let me know that they appreciated my kind words and encouragement, and that it was good timing because it really picked up their spirits at a time when they needed it.

A funny thing happened afterwards. My spirits were picked up too… which made me realize that by trying to make someone else’s life better, I actually accomplished my original New Year’s goal, of making my own life better!

So guess what I’m going to do again this week. That’s it… you guessed write!

Pastor Rick Warren and Sir Elton John


You will never become the person you intend to be, 

until you intend to become that person - and set that as your goal. 

~ Pastor Rick Warren



Monday, February 26, 2024

A Good Thing

Every year I try to make a New Year’s resolution that will improve my life and make me happier. Obviously there are a lot of things about myself that I would change if I could, and the start of a new year seems like an excellent time to reflect on my life and set new goals. Problem is, this year I set a fitness goal, kept at it for 30 days, and then in February forgot all about it. Probably pretty typical for most of us.

So this morning I sat down and starting thinking… What is it that I could truly do - and stick to - that would make my life better? First off, I’m definitely one of those “overloaded” people that enjoys being busy all the time. Here’s a short list: I have a large family with four children and seven grandchildren, plus a wife that I am totally devoted to.  I own my own business, which keeps getting busier and busier and I’m helping with my wife’s charity, which is also growing exponentially and requiring more time from both of us every week. On top of that, I’m a golf nut and an aspiring writer who tries to write Monday Messages every week!

Whew… No wonder I’m tired sometimes. But when I wrote out the list above, I realized that these are all things that I enjoy, things that I want to do. I mean, it seems like my life is all about Me and what I Myself want to do… and when I really think about it… that can’t be a good thing!

So that got me thinking... Instead of dreaming up resolutions about how to make my life better, what if I came up with a way to make someone else’s life better!

I know plenty of friends, family members, and business associates who are struggling and could use a little help and/or encouragement right now. But how? I had no idea until I walked through our garage at lunch time today and spotted dozens of freshly written letters of encouragement. My wife makes sure that every filled suitcase her charity supplies to Foster Children also includes a handwritten letter of encouragement. Perfect! My new “New Year’s Resolution” is to start this week and write and mail (via USPS, not email or text) a letter of encouragement to a different person every single week. Even if I have to give up some of the stuff on my list above, so be it, because I am committed to writing 44 letters between now and the end of the year in order to do something good for someone else… now that has to be good thing!


A life isn’t significant except for its impact on other lives. 

~ Jackie Robinson




Tuesday, February 20, 2024

A Wonderful Feeling

I’ve been doing something lately that I haven’t done in years. I’ve been going for walks while pushing a baby stroller. And here’s the cool part. There’s a baby girl in that stroller, Blakely, who makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, she thinks I’m great. And let me tell you, that is a wonderful feeling!

Funny thing is, she’s only 19 months old, but yet I can tell that she fully trusts me. I hold on tight to her stroller, and I talk to her, and I sing to her as we travel the neighborhood. I do my best to make her smile and laugh… and she does smile, and she does laugh. And she makes me laugh too! Fact is, she is possibly the happiest little girl I have ever seen, which rubs off on me in a really good way. I mean, it’s pretty hard to frown around someone who is so darn cute.

But I know we don’t live in a rose garden. There are cars that go by us way too fast, and dogs that bark and growl way too loud, and a whole world that is full of all kinds of danger and trouble. Blakely doesn’t know that yet, so that’s good… for now. She just knows that she likes to go out in the world in her stroller and on car rides with Grandpa, and that Grandpa says, “I love you”, a lot. But she will slowly discover that the world can be a really tough place and that not everyone will hold on to your stroller so tightly.

Blakely trusts me and her Grandma very much and we appreciate that. But I wish there was some way that we could help her learn how to deal with the troubles that will eventually come as she struggles to grow up and make a life of her own. But what can we do? Maybe trust is a good start. In fact, maybe trust is the key because “to trust” means to rely on another person because we feel safe with them and have confidence that they care about us. Trusting in someone also provides the security of knowing we are not alone, which gives us strength and courage. And that got me thinking…

I am blessed to have a loving and devoted wife who I trust completely and who trusts me just the same. But if I were to lose her, I still have someone I talk to every morning, give thanks to every night, and trust implicitly because He told me that He would never leave me, and I believe Him. That too is such a wonderful feeling!


For He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you."
~ Hebrews 13:5


Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Pain and Failure

Have you ever had an accident, been injured, or felt the pain of failure? If you’re like me and active at all, then you’ve probably been hurt through physical pain and stung by failure many times in your life. Whenever I got hurt, my Dad would always say, “If you use your head you won’t get hurt!” However, it’s human nature to suffer pain at times, but it’s never appreciated. Then again… maybe it should be!

Last Saturday, I was doing a large and very difficult Parking Lot Light Pole Inspection at a major shopping center in Ventura. I asked my son, David, to help me with the job and we decided to leave at 4:45am in order to beat the traffic. The traffic worked out fine on the way there, but the job turned out to be one of the hardest we have ever tackled.

I was fortunate to have my son helping me because he is extremely fit and strong. So he was able to lift the heavy cast aluminum pole base covers at the base of each pole and he was also able to cut down thick thorn bushes that were blocking our access to the base of the poles. It was hard work, but we kept at it for seven straight hours. At that point, we only had one pole to go, and of course it was completely buried in a hedge with thick, super sharp thorns.

We were both hacking away at the hedge when all of a sudden I heard a loud noise right next to me. My son yelled out, “Wow, that almost hit you in the head!” When I asked him what it was, he crawled down underneath the hedge and pulled out a really heavy ball shaped 2-pound piece of solid aluminum. It had apparently fallen off of the decorative Light Fixture at the top of the pole. It was a near miss for sure, with potentially very serious consequences.

That was a close call and it got me thinking… You know that old saying, “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger!” Well, here’s my new take on it, “Whatever doesn’t kill you, should make you smarter!” Therefore, I’m going to take my Dad’s advice to use my head… and the next time I go to work… put a hard hat on it!

Pain and failure should be our teachers, not our undertakers. 

They are temporary detours not dead-end streets.

~ William Arthur Ward