Military Spirit

On Sunday my wife asked me to help clean up around our house. She reminded me that we were going to have family over on Monday for a Memorial Day BBQ and asked me to straighten up the spare bedroom. Being a good husband, I immediately went in there and kicked some stuff under the bed, threw some stuff in the closet, shut the dresser drawers, and fluffed up the pillows. Then I clapped my hands together and said, “Yep, looks pretty good!” (Although, that might not have been exactly what my wife had in mind!)

But as I started to leave the room feeling pretty good about myself, I noticed something shiny hiding behind the dresser. I took a closer look and it turned out to be my Dad’s military sword. I had forgotten about it for years but there it was, a long, sharp, shiny, impressive reminder of what I call “Military Spirit”. This sword was awarded to my father, by his father (a USMC Major), when my Dad was first promoted to the rank of Officer in the United States Marines Corp.

Holding that sword in my hand gave me chills and totally got my adrenalin going. However, it also made me a little sad that I hadn’t followed in my father’s footsteps. Having grown up in a military family I know the sacrifice, strength and courage it takes to commit to the military life, so I have the utmost respect for everyone who serves. But my Dad discouraged me from joining the military because he wanted me to go to college. I wonder how my life would have changed if I had enlisted at the tender age of 18 like my Dad?

As I pictured myself standing on the field of battle, sword drawn, facing the enemy head on, outnumbered but not outwitted, I realized something about myself. My Dad didn’t just give me his military sword, he passed down to me his “Military Spirit”. Maybe part of it is genetic and part of it is learned, but there’s definitely something military in my nature that has served me well throughout my life. And I see these same six traits in all of the men and women that I admire. For example -

1. Courage -    If they see someone in trouble, they don’t hesitate to put themselves in harm’s way.

2. Sacrifice -    If they see a weaker person needing help, they immediately jump in to assist.

3. Honesty -    If they find something that doesn’t belong to them, they seek out the rightful owner.

4. Integrity -   If they witness a wrong, they do what it takes to make it right.

5. Character - If they hear someone gossiping, they don’t listen.

6. Loyalty -     If they hear someone bad mouthing a friend, they speak up in their defense.

 After dwelling on the idea of “Military Spirit” I realized that if I want to be part of this elite group, I better fix something immediately… It was then that I grabbed a vacuum cleaner and immediately headed back to the spare bedroom!  

I am proud to be an American, 

where at least I know I’m free.

I won’t forget the men who died,

Whose spirit gave that right to me.

~ Lee Greenwood 

Making A Difference

It was on January 8^th of 2007 that I wrote my very first Monday Message. I wrote 52 Monday Messages that year but didn’t write any in 2008. I wrote 52 more in 2009 but skipped 2010. I wrote 52 more in 2011 but skipped 2012. However, in 2013 I began writing approximately 50 Monday Messages every year until today, at which point… I have reached a mile stone… Monday Message #400.

Every Monday Message has to be unique. Yet that is only one of the many difficult things it takes to create an inspirational weekly message. It takes time to carve out the theme, to edit it so that it can be less than one page of writing, to come up with an appropriate photo, and to then finish it off with a quote that will bring the whole story together, while highlighting the theme of it.

It takes hours of time and torrents of emotional energy to create just one Monday Message. So sometimes I get tired and frustrated and think about quitting. I start thinking that nobody reads these stupid stories anyway, so why should I waste my time. I’m never going to make a difference in this world, so perhaps I should quit trying. But then something happens that reminds me that I am not alone in my efforts. There are plenty of other people out there who are working hard and trying hard to make a difference in this world. My Monday Message last week proved it.

Last week I wrote a story about my 93-year-old friend, Pao Chi Chen. She is about to have her 94^th birthday, but there will be no party because she is very lonely having outlived most of her friends and family. I asked people to write her a simple birthday card, hoping that a few extra birthday wishes might brighten her day.

As of today, I have received dozens of birthday cards that I plan to deliver to her on her birthday! I was shocked by the swift and solid response, but I should not have been amazed that there are so many good people out there willing to do something nice for a stranger. Even though the news reports bombard us daily with stories of murder, rape, and hate crimes, in the background there are plenty of people reaching out to help a stranger in need. To those people I say, “Thank you for giving help to a stranger and inspiration to me!”

Expose me to hate so it be not a stranger; 

yet fill my cup with love to turn strangers into friends.

~ Og Mandino

Make A Difference

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I am one who definitely believes that Moms deserve a special day! What they go through and what they put up with is nuts… and they don’t even get paid for all that work. Being a Mom has to be both the worst job in the world and yet it can be the best job in the world too, if we simply make a difference by showing them our love. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to do that this year because my Mom passed away. So I have decided to focus on the other “Moms” in my life, such as my wife, daughters, mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, and my “special friend” named Pao Chi.

Pao Chi Chen will be 94 years old next month.  She lives alone in a tiny apartment and although she is nearly a century old, her health is still good. In fact, her eyesight is so good and her hands so steady that she still creates beautiful paintings of birds, landscapes, and people every single week. Pao Chi’s story is quite amazing. She was born in a small village in China, escaped the communist invasion at age 16, took a boat to France, became a world-renowned artist who trained in Paris, exhibited in 5 countries, and speaks 4 languages. Although we could not be more different (she is a 4’ tall Chinese Buddhist woman who paints and I am a 5’11” American Christian man who sells light bulbs) we are still best of friends.

If you have been reading my Monday Messages over the years, then you might recall the way I met this wonderful, yet very tiny little lady. The truth is, six years ago, almost to the day, is when I ran her over in a parking lot and nearly killed her. She was hospitalized for many months and nearly died, but through the grace of God and His answering of my fervent daily prayers, she lived… and we became best friends.

When I visited Pao Chi this week to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day, she was glad to see me, but sad. When I asked her why she was sad she explained that her last remaining friend from her childhood days passed away. And since she has only one son (who suffered a stroke recently and can’t do much) she is suddenly feeling very alone. All the people she knew and loved in her life are gone and there is no one to visit her, no one for her to call, no one to really talk to. It dawned on me that while it’s great to live a long life, it can also be lonely for those without a family.

I was feeling bad for Pao Chi, so before I left her apartment I decided to try to cheer her up. I said, “Can I ask you a favor? Since my Mom passed away a couple months ago, would it be okay if I adopted you as my Mom?” Pao Chi’s eyes began to water but she also started to smile, and she gave me the biggest, longest, best hug ever. I imagine there are millions of elderly people like Pao Chi who are lonely, and of course there is no way that I can make a difference to all of them, but I can definitely make a difference to one of them!

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, 

promptly announces she never did care for pie.

~ Tenneva Jordon

Coming of Age

My nephew turned 18 yesterday and is planning on joining the military when he graduates High School.  That is a very difficult decision to make when you are only 18 years old, but it is only the first of many difficult decisions that we will have face once we become adults.

When I was a young man, I lived on my own from the time I was 16 ½ years old. Being on my own gave me both the freedom to make my own decisions and also forced me to be careful about the decisions I made. There was nobody to pay my debts and nobody to bail me out if I got in control. Unfortunately, despite being a good person at heart, I did make some bad decisions along the way that were very painful.

I remember it like it happened yesterday. I had made a string of bad decisions over a period of a few years that threatened my health and my career. And despite being a normally positive and cheery fellow, I had fallen into a full-blown depression. So I decided to hike to my favorite spot near the top of Black Mountain in San Diego and try to sort things out. I sat down on a rock and as I thought about my life and my future, I began to cry. How did I get so far off track? How could I be so stupid? But I didn’t just sit there, I prayed, and I prayed hard. I prayed for forgiveness, and I prayed for strength, and I prayed for wisdom. And then I prayed for forgiveness some more. When I finished, I opened my eyes and noticed that a hang-glider was soaring slowly over head. Black Mountain was a favorite spot for the early daredevils of the gliding sport and something about the beauty and the freedom of the man flying effortlessly through the sky touched me inside. To me it was a sign… a sign that if man could fly… maybe anything was possible!

I made a decision that very moment to write down all the things that a man should strive to be. It would represent my character and become my personal code of honor. It would be my own personal rules for living life, that I would honor for the rest of my life. I am happy to say that it instantly changed my life and put me on the path to become the man God planned for me to be when he planted me on this earth. In honor of my nephew’s birthday, I would like to share some of these simple rules for being a good man (or woman) that I wrote down nearly 40 years ago. They won’t keep you from making bad decisions, but they will help you find the path in your life that leads to hope, happiness and good health. (By the way, I still carry it with me… that faded yellow piece of paper with the simple words written on it so many years ago.)

Be true to your God, and true to yourself.            

Be honest at all times and fair to everyone you know.

Stand by your friends and family regardless of potential harm to yourself.

Never use illegal drugs or abuse alcohol.

            

Never steal or take anything that does not belong to you.

Never lie or hold back the truth when it could harm another person.

                    Commit to a healthy lifestyle, stay fit.                         

Give as much as possible to those less fortunate.

Sometimes the questions are complicated, but the answers are simple.

~ Dr. Seuss