In a Good Way

I have been working in the same industry for more than 48 years. You would think I’d be tired of it by now, but I’m not. Granted, I am only working 3 days a week instead of 5 or 6, so that helps. But the thing is, I love what I do… and I always have!

Why is that? I asked myself that complex question this past Saturday because I had five Light Pole Inspection projects to complete in one day, and two of them were large projects with over 50 parking lot light poles each. The work is physically demanding so there’s no way I could do that much work by myself. So I hired my son David, and my son-in-law Zac, two men who aren’t afraid to work hard, and we spread the work out between all three of us. But I knew even with three men, it wouldn’t be easy.

I arrived early at the largest project before anyone else got there. I like to scope out the site and figure out the logistics before we get started. This was a huge modern office complex that took up a whole city block. The parking lot alone had to be a quarter mile long, but since it was Saturday morning at 6:30am, the sun wasn’t even up yet… and nobody was around… except for this one guy.

At first I could only make out the silhouette of someone because he was so far away.  But as I traipsed through the never-ending parking lot, mapping out the light poles, I finally got close enough to see it was a worker wearing a yellow safety vest, same as me. Except I was carrying a clipboard, while he was carrying a leaf blower. It was 42 degrees out, so he was bundled up with a heavy coat and he had a large bandana worn tight across his face to block out the dust and debris. He appeared to be a small Hispanic man, mid-forties, who kept his head down, obviously intent on completing his work. But as I looked out across that vast expanse of asphalt, and then observed how much time it took him to do even a small section, his job seemed absolutely overwhelming.

We finished our inspection work at the first project around 10:30am. After packing up our tools and equipment in my truck, I made one last lap around the parking lot to make sure we didn’t miss any poles. That’s when I saw him again, head down, intently focused on his work, with only about a third of the parking lot completed. I stopped and watched him for a moment and admired his determination. The cool thing was that the area that he had completed, looked so much better than the rest of the lot. The daunting thing was that there was still another two-thirds to go.

 And that got me thinking… There are people in this world who aren’t afraid to tackle the tough jobs, the behind-the-scenes dirty work that nobody else is willing to do. You don’t notice what they do, but you would damn sure notice it if they didn’t do their job. We need those people, and we need to appreciate them. And we need to respect the work ethic they exhibit when they show up every single day and give it their best… even when nobody is watching!

I like it when I get to work hard and 

then go home tired… in a good way!

~ Pablo Rojo-Delgado

Migrant Farm Worker

Fallbrook, CA circa 1969

Train Your Brain

One of the nice things about where we live on Beach Road is that the ocean is only 60 feet away. Unfortunately, on the other side of our house there are train tracks that are only about 100 feet away. The sound of the ocean is soothing as the waves constantly roll in. The noise from the freight trains zooming by however, is incredibly frightening and annoying.

For the first month we lived at the beach, my wife and I would wake up in the middle of the night, terrified, because it sounded like a 747 was landing in the living room. Fortunately, the human brain is incredibly adaptable. In fact, scientists at MIT discovered that there are special neurons in the brainstem called “novelty detector neurons” that help us ignore ongoing noise if a sound or sound pattern is repeated. 

These days we never even notice if a train is going by, whether it’s in broad daylight or late at night. That is a definite blessing, but it makes me wonder about all the other “noise” going on in my head every day.

If I can tune out a roaring freight train 100 feet away, why can’t I tune out other things? Like the bad thoughts that pop up in my head when a speeding driver cuts me off. Like the disappointment that builds up when a friend lets me down. Like the frustration that happens at tax time every April. Like the anger I feel when someone tells me I am stupid for wearing a mask during a pandemic. Or like the pain and fear I’ve been feeling lately because so many of my family members have Covid.

I know that bad things are going to happen in life. And after 66 years I also know that I can’t tune them all out. But I can retrain my brain and strive every day to focus on what is good and right and best for myself and those around me. Maybe if I train my brain properly, to focus on love, humility, patience, and gentleness… I can decrease the annoying noise and increase the soothing sounds!

Do not conform yourself to this age, but be transformed by the renewal 

of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, 

what is good and pleasing and perfect.     

~ Romans 12:1-2 

Kind of Hard Not To

When I was 8 years old racism didn’t exist. Or maybe I should say, I wasn’t aware of it. At that time we lived in Marine Corps Base Housing off El Toro Road. Base Housing consisted of older homes that were small, but so was I. So everything seemed fine to me. We had food to eat, a few toys at Christmas, and I thought life was pretty good, especially since I had a lot of friends.

In our cul-de-sac, there were a bunch of kids my age. There were two Filipino brothers next door, a Hispanic family with 5 kids next to them, an Asian family with twin girls, and an African American family with a boy and a girl. I was the only “white boy” on the block, but I didn’t know I was white because to us kids, we were just kids. We always played together after school and although we would sometimes argue, or push and shove a little, we never acted superior or called each other bad names. At eight years old, we weren’t aware of our differences. But we were aware of our similarities because our parents told us we were all “Marine Corps brats”.

One day I was riding my Schwinn bicycle down a street that was really steep. I loved to go fast, but that day I got carried away and lost control flipping over the handlebars, smashing my face and arms into the asphalt. I was hurt bad, bleeding from about 10 different places and crying my eyes out. My friend Anthony saw the whole thing and came racing to my aid. He helped me up and then walked my bike back home with me, trying to cheer me up despite my non-stop tears. When I got near our garage, my Dad saw me and Anthony approaching and came running. The look of shock on his face when he saw my blood-soaked clothes, scared the crap out of me and made me start crying even worse. But I remember Anthony putting his arm around me and telling me that I was home now, and everything was gonna be okay. Anthony always had the biggest smile and the whitest teeth on the block and for some reason, his big bright smile always made me feel better.

Later that evening, when we sat down for dinner, my Dad said something funny. He said, “Joey, I think it’s good that you have a friend like Anthony, especially since he’s black.” I didn’t get what my Dad meant, so I asked him why he called Anthony “black”.  That evening my Dad explained racism to me and how people are often treated differently because of the color of their skin. He told me it was wrong to judge people in the first place, and really wrong to judge people because of the color of their skin. I thought about it for a minute, and then asked my Dad a question, “Is it okay to judge kids by how they act? Cause I really like the ones that are nice to me!” This was a long time ago, but I remember my Dad being really quiet for a moment and then saying something like, “Kind of hard not to.”

We must learn to live together as brothers… 

or perish together as fools.

~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Give With One Hand

This insane pandemic has caused a lot of stress for everyone I know, and it’s not over yet. In fact, the number of people becoming infected on a daily basis is worse than ever. But it occurred to me that what can get lost in the suffering caused by Covid-19 are the day-to-day struggles that a lot of people have just trying to put food on the table for their families.

I have always admired hard working people, especially those who come from humble beginnings. Maybe it was the Hispanic men that I worked with pruning avocado trees when I was 14. Or maybe it was Eddie Mahr, the owner of the gas station I worked at when I was 16, who talked to me about how honesty and hard work would guarantee me a good life. All throughout my life, I have witnessed and admired those men and women who get out of bed every day determined to improve their lot in life, especially those who are supporting a family.

So it was a nice surprise when we received a letter last week from our gardener. Gabriel takes care of the yards at two rental homes we own in Ladera Ranch. He works hard, is very reliable, and always does a great job. But it didn’t occur to me that his job can be pretty hard at times. Even during the winter, when it’s cold or raining, he still has to find a way to get the job done.

The letter he sent was a “Thank You” letter for some extra money we gave him at Christmas time. But in reality it is so much more. It’s a reminder that people who work hard to make ends meet, are usually the ones you want to meet in the end!

“I want to thank all of you for the support and trust you give me by letting me do your service and I thank God that despise the pandemic all of you are still healthy. And thank you very much especially to all my clients who value our sacrifice of work in the sun in the cold even sometimes in the rain, and then gave me a gift card or extra bonuses in gratitude to our service. The one who give with one hand will receive a blessing with both from God. Bless you all and thank you for everything this year that ends. I hope to do my work much better for the new year that begins with care. Thank you.”

Gabriel

God has given us two hands, one to receive with and the other to give with.

~ Billy Graham

Every New Day is a Gift

On New Year’s Day, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise which reminded me how great it is to live in Southern California. I get up early every day, always have, but I also really enjoy the moment each day when my wife walks out to our kitchen to greet me. Even after 28 years, I am still super happy, always have been, to see her lovely face and warm sleepy smile. But when I wrapped my arms around her, she felt tense, and I could tell something was bothering her.

I didn’t press or ask her questions right away, but I definitely knew something was wrong. Around 10:00am I found her with her head in her hands, crying and shaking. Now this is a very strong woman that rarely ever cries. Not even when they broke one of her ribs in half to rebuild one of her lungs, did she shed a tear. So I knew whatever was making her sad must be really bad. Being a normal stupidly macho man, I usually start asking questions and giving advice. But this time, I decided to be smart for a change and just listen. After a long while she finally told me why she dreaded the new year.

Sadly, her list of reasons was a long and legitimate list. I won’t go into great detail, but her list included family members who are currently fighting Covid, her mother who has terminal cancer, and also how hard it is to not be able to get together with loved ones. I hate seeing her sad, but the truth is, there are some things that can’t be fixed. So I simply held her hands, kept quiet, and told her that I loved her, to remember that God is in control, and that no matter what we can get through anything together. Always have.

The following day was a Sunday, and I had a really early golf tee time. I hated to leave her alone, but as I kissed my wife goodbye I spotted a soft smile and hoped that she was feeling better. Halfway through my round of golf, I received a text message, which simply said, “The day is beautiful, you are amazing, and I am grateful for both!” All of a sudden I forgot all about the crappy round of golf I was having!

When I got home, I noticed she had taped a note to me on the bathroom mirror. The words were simple, yet powerful, and I will save that note for the rest of my life… for it reminds me that every new day is a gift to be appreciated.

Every new day is a gift from God. 

Every day I will choose to honor Him in being joyful, 

despite any circumstances I cannot control. 

I am grateful for every new day.  

~ Debby Thrailkill, Jan 2, 2022