Intended To Be

Last week I mentioned that I wrote a serious Monday Message about the divisiveness caused by the pandemic. However, because of Thanksgiving, I chose to hold off publishing it and write something related to Thanksgiving instead. Well, now something happened over Thanksgiving that relates to both being thankful and divisiveness, so my serious message will have to wait one more week.

If you’ve been reading my Monday Messages for a while then you may remember that I have a sister. You may also remember that we haven’t spoken in years and the problems between us run deep. She is a little bit older than me, and it makes me sad that we have never been close, not even when we were kids, but I won’t go into the problems between us. I’ll just say that she has never liked me or wanted me to be a part of her life. Holidays are a constant reminder of this sad situation in my life.

With both of our parents gone now and both of us now in our sixties, I decided a couple of months ago to reach out to her. I sent her a couple of very simple, brief letters asking about her health (I heard she was struggling with diabetes) and expressing a desire to connect. I hoped my short letters would convey my sincere desire to open a line of communication. Surprisingly, she responded. Not surprising, the first line in her letter was, “You’re my brother, but that doesn’t mean I have to like you.” The rest of the letter was a series of difficult questions mixed with pointed accusations and as I read it I could tell that she was in a lot of pain, struggling with her feelings towards me, as well as the loss of our parents.

I sat on her letter for several weeks before responding. My first instinct was to be totally blunt and tell her off once and for all. But my Christian side wouldn’t let me. In fact, after thinking about it and praying about it, I decided to step back and take a look at the big picture. She has had a lot of struggles in her life and a lot of health issues that I haven’t had to deal with. So I can’t say that I have ever walked in her shoes, nor am I qualified to judge her or anyone else. As I was mulling this over in my mind, I came across a story in the Bible about how Jesus meets a troubled Samaritan woman who has had a hard life and how, “His eyes saw her not as she was, but as she was intended to be.”

I took that as “sign” and wrote a response back to my sister last month containing honest answers, but I expressed them in a loving and caring manner. I also sent her a birthday card. On Thanksgiving morning I received my first ever unsolicited, very nice, “Happy Thanksgiving” text message from my sister. Who knows, maybe she is starting to see me… not as I am, but as I was intended to be!

Despise no one, since every one has his place in God’s design.

                               ~ Austin O’Malley

 

 

Unwrapped Presents

Yesterday, I wrote a really serious Monday Message about the divisiveness created by the pandemic. However, when my wife read it, she said that although it was an important message, well done and very dynamic, it should wait. This is not the week to create a stir, this is the week to be stirring in the kitchen, creating a wonderful meal for family members and friends. A week to be thankful for all the things that the pandemic has not stolen from us.

I thought about what she said, and as usual she was right. However, thinking about my life right now, it feels like there are so many bad things going on. I have five family members with health issues and a 50-year-old cousin who just passed away leaving her two teenage boys without a mom. I have a friend battling stomach cancer and another friend who was killed in a car wreck in Mexico last week. The sad thing is, I know I’m not alone because everyone has problems. But here’s a good thought… everyone has something to be thankful for as well! Obviously if you are reading this you are still alive, so at least you’ve got that going for you! So if you are still breathing, maybe it’s a good time to count your blessings and also count out those who make a positive difference in your life. Start with your spouse, your children, or your best friend. That’s easy, but what about the others….the other people in this world that make your life easier… but yet are so easy to take for granted?

I challenge you to create a “Thankful List”. Write down a short list of just 3 people in your life that you would normally tend to overlook. Write their name down and then write them a note explaining why you are thankful they are part of your life. Then mail it to them. You should expect nothing in return. But my guess is that you will be surprised at the impact your words of gratitude will have on the unsuspecting people who find out that they have touched your life in a positive way!

As I wrote out my “Thankful List” (see list on next page) it got me thinking… I know inside I have always felt grateful for the good people that I come across in my daily life, but I just haven’t taken time to do anything about it. I guess feeling gratitude and not making the effort to express it is kind of like going to the trouble to buy someone a present…but then never wrapping  it!

Happiness is the spiritual experience of

                                          living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.                                                                                 ~ Dennis Waitley

“WRAPPED PRESENTS”

Dear Scott and Rhonda, (Our Friends)

Thank you so much for allowing my wife to swim so many times in your backyard pool this past summer. She loves to swim but with our Fitness Center shut down, and with Covid going on and with her having immunity issues, she been pretty much “locked up” at home for the past 19 months. So your generous offer of allowing her to swim in your big, beautiful pool has done wonders for her health and happiness!

 Dear Don, (Our Pastor)

Thank you for continuing to pastor the Church despite the restrictions created by the pandemic. I know it must be really hard on you to have to prepare your Sunday sermons and only be allowed to present them via computer, instead of in person. But I want you to know that my wife and I enjoy your messages very much and often share what we learn with others. Your church may seem smaller to you these days, but I assure you that your messages reach far wider, and do more good, than you will ever know!

 

Dear Tim, (Our former Landlord)

My wife and I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for the past eight years that you were our landlord. Renting your beautiful beach house was a slice of heaven for us and having a caring person like you as our landlord was a real blessing. If something went wrong, we always knew we could count on you, and we appreciate how you went out of your way to keep us posted when there was dangerous high surf or other important issues happening on Beach Road. We miss you and your lovely wife and hope that you are enjoying your retirement now that your beach house has been sold.

Joe is a Jerk

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I can be a pretty terrible person. Why? Because I can be unnecessarily judgmental towards people without even realizing it... and that ain’t good!

On Friday, I took my 80-year-old Father-in-Law, Tom,  golfing at Oso Creek Golf Course. Tom is going through an extremely tough time in his life because his beloved wife of 60 years is terminally ill. So I feel like I should get Tom out of the house once in a while to have a little fun and get his mind off things.

To me, a golf course is a perfect place to find peace and solitude. The grass is always so green, the trees so very lush, and communing with nature is a little bit like snuggling up closer to God. (Well, that’s my opinion anyway.) So I was anxious to spend time with Tom and let him breathe a little fresh air.

When we arrived, we were paired with a single, a man named Larry, making us a threesome, which is normally fine. However, after Larry introduced himself, and told us a little bit about himself, he continued to talk. And talk, and talk, and talk. Larry seemed like he might be an interesting guy, with an amazing memory. How do I know that? Because he told us at least a dozen old time golf jokes, most of which we’ve heard before, but we politely laughed anyway. I tried to be nice to him, but his constant noise was affecting my golf game, which went completely south on the front nine. The good thing was that Tom on the other hand was having the round of his life. So I tried to spend my time encouraging Tom and avoiding Larry, but that wasn’t really possible.

By the 17^th hole, I had turned my score around and just needed to PAR the last two holes to finish with a decent score. However, the whole time I was lining up my putt and stroking the ball on 17, Larry was stroking his gums and telling another stupid story. Needless to say, I missed the putt on 17 and walked away thinking, “Man, that Larry is some kind of jerk.”

I was really glad when the round was over, so I gave Larry a quick little fist bump and quickly walked off the 18^th green. However, he followed me to my golf cart, and quietly said, “I really enjoyed playing with you guys. I’m 82 years old and blind in one eye, so I don’t play well these days, and all my golf buddies have passed away. So getting to spend time with you guys at this beautiful golf course was a real treat for me. Thank you!”

Did I say Larry was a jerk? I meant… Joe is a jerk!

You never know what people are going though. 

Each person has a story to tell. 

So instead of being so overly  judgmental. 

Why not just listen well.

~ Charmaine J. Forde

The Greater Gift

Inspiration can come in many forms. But when we are truly inspired by the words or deeds of others, it can often be life changing. I pondered that thought Saturday morning as I struggled to think of a good birthday gift to give my 15-year-old grandson who was born on Halloween.

When I was a struggling salesperson at 21, I was given the gift of a book called, “The Greatest Salesman in the World”. That book was a huge inspiration to me, teaching me that honesty and integrity should be the core values of my life. By age 23, I was the top salesman in the company.

Although I had a successful business of my own by the age of 32, I knew something was still missing from my life. Then I heard an ad on the radio asking for volunteers to install a Cross on top of historic Battle Mountain in San Diego. Taking on that project and hiking up that mountain over and over again for 6 months, not only increased my physical strength, it strengthened my spiritual side as well. The inspiration provided by that beautiful Cross, an awesome gift from God, still guides me in my faith today.

At 39, I married the love of my life who gave me a wedding gift that I will forever appreciate. The gift she gave me was teaching me the value of focusing on others while putting myself second. She was only 33 at the time, but within just a few short years, she took a small struggling charity and built it into a multi-million-dollar agency feeding thousands of hungry families every month. Her gift of selflessness to others inspired me then, and continues to inspire me now.

Looking back at all the things that provided major inspiration in my life, I realize one of the very first events happened when I was too was 15 years old. I desperately wanted to figure out a way to get a car by the time I turned 16. So I asked my Dad about it, but he couldn’t afford to help me financially. However, he did find a way to help me. He sat me down and explained to me that the secret to getting anything you wanted in life involved only two words… hard work!

Remembering that life lesson gift my Dad gave me got me thinking. And suddenly, I knew exactly what I should give my grandson for his birthday… a gift far greater than anything money can buy!

All of our dreams can come true 

if we simply have the courage to pursue them.

~ Walt Disney

        P.S. If you are curious about what it was I gave my grandson, read the letter attached.

Dear Jack.

Happy 15^th Birthday!

I would like to give you something special for your birthday, an envelope. Inside it is a small amount of money… mixed with a large amount of inspiration!

When I was 15 years old, I started dreaming about having my own truck someday and all the freedom that goes with driving. So I went to my Dad and asked him if he would help me buy a truck when I got to be 16. He said he couldn’t afford it.

My Dad was in the Marine Corps, and they aren’t paid that much. But two days later he came to me and apologized and said, “Son, I can’t really help you financially, but I can do two things for you. Here is an envelope that says, “Joe’s Truck” on the outside and inside is a $20 bill.” (At that time, $20 was a lot of money.) My Dad went on to say, “I talked to our neighbor, the rancher named Jack, and asked him if he needed any help on his ranch during the summer. He said yes, so if you go talk to him and impress him, he might give you a part time job. That way you can start adding more money to this envelope every week. Who knows, maybe within a year, if you work hard and keep looking for part time jobs, you might have enough money in that envelope to buy yourself a used truck!”

I worked on Jack’s Ranch all summer making $1.25 an hour, plus I took on other part time jobs after school, like working at a gas station. By the time I turned 16, I had exactly $300 in that envelope. So I checked the newspapers, and found a 1960 Chevy Truck for only $350.00. My Dad said we should go check it out and maybe the guy would come down on the price.

We went to see the truck and it was just an old white Pick Up, but I fell in love with it. When I asked the guy if he would go down to $300, he said no. My Dad then told the guy how hard I had worked the past year to raise my own money and the guy thought about it. Then he changed his mind and said, “I will go down to $320.00. That’s it. Take it or leave it!” My Dad saw the sad look in my face, broke out his wallet and counted out $19 in bills, plus $1 in quarters from his pocket… and I drove away smiling like I had just won the lottery.

I took great care of that truck because I understood how hard it was to make the money to buy it. It was my “first love” but it was also the first real inspiration that sparked my work ethic, and that inspiration went on to guide me to a very successful work life and career.

I hope this story inspires you to work hard and have a good successful life of your own!

Love you,

 

Grandpa Joe