It has been said that the game of golf is a lot like the game of life. I think that is so true when it comes to relating to people… especially strangers.

Four weeks ago I was paired up with a man close to my own age named Jim. I met him for the first time on the first tee and noticed right away that he had a really great golf swing. During the round we talked a little bit about golf, our families, our jobs and after 18 holes I had made a new friend! Jim is outgoing, funny, interesting, and despite being a very good golfer… humble. He never talks about his game, instead he constantly offers up praise for good shots by others. I like Jim and have now golfed with him three more times.

Three weeks ago I got paired up with a stranger named Brandon who was not a good golfer and not fun to be around at all. Throughout the entire round he complained heavily about his bad shots, constantly whining and putting himself down. He kept telling me how bad he was, telling me how he couldn’t possibly hit the ball straight, and wearing me out with his self-centered focus. If he would have paid attention, he would have noticed that the rest of us also hit bad shots, but we would just brush it off and keep playing with a positive attitude. Truth is, I tried to give the guy some praise when he did something right, but he would have none of it because instead of paying attention to our foursome, he was completely and totally focused on his own mistakes.

Last week as I headed down the freeway to go golfing again, I offered up a prayer. “Lord I hope I don’t get paired up with another Brandon. Or if I do please help me to be patient and somehow make it fun for both of us.” Unfortunately, I got paired up again with a rookie golfer named Doug, and when he told me that he had just retired and is taking up golf as a new hobby, memories of Brandon ran through my head. But instead, when Doug hit bad shots, he never complained about them. And when he hit a good shot, I would get excited for him and go out of my way to offer up my praise. I think Doug has the potential to be a very good golfer and I told him so… and when we were done with the round he said something that really caught my attention. “It was really fun to golf with you, and I hope we get paired up again soon.”

After shaking hands with Doug, I almost laughed out loud. “Lord, I love how you manage to teach me things in the most interesting (and funny) ways. Thank you for showing me that self-centered focus can be hurtful not only to one’s self, but also to those around us. And that a little bit of praise, even in small ways, can go a very long way!”

If you want to make a big difference, demonstrate your right relationship with God in even the small ways.

                                                                                        ~ Max Lucado                                

On Purpose

I will turn 71 years old in a few days and find myself asking the same question over and over. Why am I here?

I am basically wondering at this stage of the game… Why did God create me? It’s a tough question because it makes me look back at my life, which then leads to a whole bunch more questions. Like… What have I accomplished that really matters? Who have I helped? Who have I hurt? Why do I still make dumb mistakes when I am supposedly at the age of wisdom? What’s my purpose? Or even more mysterious, why does my wife still say she loves me?

So I gave it some serious thought and came up with a lot of things that might help me find the answer. At the age of 16 I lived on my own in a plywood shack that didn’t even have running water. I quickly learned to be very resourceful and overcome huge obstacles. So… was I put here to teach others how to turn lemons into lemonade? In 1980 I started my first company that grew large enough to have over 100 employees. So… was I put here to help create jobs for people? In 1988 I helped install a huge two-ton 33’ Cruciform Steel Cross on top of Battle Mountain. So… was that what our Creator created me to do? Or is it that I played baseball in Angel Stadium 10 times, making at least that many errors per game, and yet still left the field smiling every time because of  the great teammates I had. So… was I was put here to teach people how to survive very humbling situations by recognizing that friendships are what really matter!  No, I seriously doubt any of those events are it.

But yesterday I figured it out and it doesn’t have anything to do with the events listed above. I was at the grocery store, and I noticed the checker seemed to be in a really sad mood. So I thought I would help him out by bagging my own groceries. Except, I did a crappy job and ripped the first bag wide open because I put too much in it. Then I looked up and noticed the checker was smiling. (Okay, maybe he was laughing at me, because he said, “I got this”.) So when it was all said and done, I told him, “Man you’re really good at your job!” I said that to cheer him up, to lift another human being up when he needed it… and I did it on purpose!

The four most important words in the English language, “How can I help?”

                                                                  ~ Anonymous                                

Better Times

 

I was struggling to come up with a fresh idea for a Monday Message last night. So I spent some time going back and reading through some of my older Monday Messages. I found one written almost exactly six years ago, during a very dark time. Reading it reminded me how much better life is now, and how grateful I should be for better times! 

I hope it helps you feel the same way!