Time For This One To Come Home

Life is full of surprises, mainly because things are always changing. For example, my wife and I have been renting a home on Beach Road for 10 years now, and have really been happy living here. But unfortunately, our home was just sold, and the new owners are planning to radically increase the rent, which means we will be moving soon. I wonder if we can find a new home that we will be happy with?

When I was 14, I lived with my parents in a nice home in a little town called Fallbrook. They took me to church every Sunday, where the very first seeds of my faith were sown. I was happy there.  

When I was 16, my parents moved to San Francisco. I ended up living in a tiny plywood shack with no electricity, no running water, and no bathroom. To me it was an adventure, and I was happy living there.

When I was 24, I bought my first home. It was in a newly constructed area off El Toro Road, built for low-income people like me, and therefore affordable. It was just a small simple home, with no yard or landscaping, not even a fence. I had to work really hard to fix it up, but I was happy living there.

When I got divorced at 37, I was living in a brand new four-bedroom view home with a pool. I had to sell it at a loss, and move temporarily to one of those extended stay Motels in Irvine. It was just a room, but it was mine, and I was happy there.

When I was 48 and remarried, my loving wife and I built a custom home in Coto de Caza. It was a three-story Tuscan Estate on an acre of land with a gorgeous view. It had four bedrooms, plus an office, a gym, a movie theater room, and a pool with a spa. Needless to say, I was happy there, and so was she.

When I was 56 and our four children were all grown and gone, we decided to downsize. My wife thought it would be fun to rent a house at the beach for a month while we looked for a new home to buy. However, we never made time to look for a new home because we immediately fell in love with the beach. She was right, it has been fun, and I have been really happy here.

At the age of 66, I am used to things changing. While I do not know where I will end up next, and I do not know what my next home will look like, I do know I will always be happy no matter where my home is. Why? I think it’s because I have always known where my final home is going to be!

Drizzle, Drazzle, Druzzle, Drome; time for this one to come home.

~ from the 1960’s Cartoon "Tooter Turtle" 

Moments In Time

Being bold is hard. Have you ever been asked to speak in public? Or called on in the classroom to give an answer? Or asked to give a toast at a wedding? Having the courage to speak up in front of others is never easy. But there are times when it is really important to speak up or find some way to share your opinion or an important message that might benefit others.

That is in essence the purpose of my Monday Messages, to relate an inspiring message without sounding like I am preaching. But it’s very difficult at times. I want to inspire people to think about the important things in life, yet I am not a pastor, and therefore not qualified to preach. I have however, lived a life made incredibly amazing by my faith. So how do I boldly share my faith with my wife, my family, my friends, and even strangers… without turning them off? The answer isn’t that difficult!

This weekend, my wife and I went wine tasting in Temecula. My youngest daughter’s birthday is today, and my wife’s birthday is tomorrow. So we wanted to spend time this weekend, with both of our daughters and their husbands, celebrating birthdays. Six of us got together (with me as the designated driver - bummer dude!) and visited several wineries off of Rancho California Road. At the first stop, Miramonte Vineyards, we were seated on couches in a really classy private Cabana with a table filled with charcuterie and excellent wine flights. Before we tasted anything, my wife handed me a piece of paper and asked the group if “Dad” could read something before we started. What she handed me was an inspiring parable about the importance of all the unique passengers we meet as we “ride through the different train stations of life”. We didn’t realize the waitress was listening nearby, but afterwards, she commented that she admired a family that started their wine tasting with an inspiring parable!

Our second stop was at Doffo Vineyards, which was a very different vibe. More of a biker gang hangout, with dozens of antique motorcycles on display. After the heavily tattooed waitress approached our table and took our order, she asked me a question. “What does the I Am Second on your bracelet mean?” She laughed and said, “Does it mean You Are Second to None?” I laughed and said, “No. It’s a reminder that I should always consider myself second to God, and put Him first.” She smiled thoughtfully… and said, “I like that!”

There were a couple of unique moments in time this weekend, where I didn’t stand up in front of a crowd and I didn’t preach either. Or just maybe I did!

Faith makes things possible, not easy.

~ Anonymous 

Random Acts

What is the cost of a random act of kindness? Probably not very much.

Last Monday I was leaving my house with my wife, and we were running late. As I pulled out from my parking spot on the street, I noticed a jogger running by. What I didn’t notice was that I was bumping into a trash can. Which then knocked over another trash can. Which then spilled the contents of both trash cans all over the street. I pulled over, but before I even got back. the jogger had turned around and was picking up the trash for me.

On Tuesday, I was working on a Light Pole Inspection Project at a large shopping center. I was having trouble with the poles along the perimeter because of thick hedges and heavy brush, when I suddenly noticed movement. I thought it was an animal, but when I parted the bushes to take a look, I saw a woman and a young child laying on an old blanket on the ground, trying to stay in the shade. They didn’t notice me, and I didn’t want to scare them, so I walked away. But then I walked over to the In-And-Out Restaurant nearby, bought a couple of gift cards, and took them back and dropped them over the fence.

On Wednesday, when I went to my regular weekly golf match with my buddy Scott, I forgot my Yeti Bag with my food and drinks. It was really hot out, and I was getting thirsty. When we made the turn and were on the back nine, my competitor, without me even asking, walked over and handed me a large Gatorade.

On Thursday I was having a really rough day. I was having trouble getting an insurance certificate approved from my insurance company, one of my ultrasonic machines was acting up and was obviously going to need some expensive repair work, and my back was hurting me way more than usual. Around 9:00pm I just wanted to call it a day and go to bed, when I got a random text from one of my kids that simply said, “Love you Dad.”

What is a random act of kindness worth? Probably more than you think!

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

~ Aesop 

The Love In Your Heart

I love playing golf because it’s always outdoors in a beautiful environment, and most often played with good friends or family. The other benefit is that you can often discover a lot of life lessons from playing the game. In fact, today’s Monday Message was inspired by golf, not so much by playing it, as by not being able to play it. Let me explain…

The past couple of weeks I have been struggling with back pain. So, I’ve had to limit the amount of golf I play. Granted, most people my age have problems with back pain, but luckily mine seems intermittent. (Although some would say that I am a pain in the ass all the time!) Fortunately, most of the time, even when I struggle to get out of bed in the morning, I can still swing a golf club. But not this past Saturday.

My wife and I were scheduled to play golf with my daughter, Nikki, and her husband, Andrew. I was really looking forward to it because I love golf and I love my son-in-law. He is an amazing young man, a hard worker who treats my daughter with a ton of respect, while always treating her like he is madly in love with her. We are blessed to have him in our lives, and since it was his birthday coming up, I really wanted to show him (and her) a good time.

When we arrived at the golf course, I did not do my usual warm up routine. Mainly because after only two practice swings, my back started barking very loudly at me. But then Andrew and Nikki pulled up, laughing and smiling, just two young people in love out to have a good time together. I thought about bailing out, but after seeing their big smiles I decided to suck it up instead and play for as long as possible because Saturday wasn’t about me, it was about showing love to others.

On the first tee, I somehow hit one of the best drives I’ve ever hit on that hole and made PAR. More importantly, my back only hurt a little. On the second tee, I drove the ball straighter and farther than I ever have on that hole, and made PAR again. Nikki and Andrew were having fun too. Nikki doesn’t golf much, but on Saturday she was hitting drives off the tee like a pro. We were all laughing and having a great time. By the time 9 holes were over my back was killing me, but I had just played some of the best golf of my life. More importantly, I got to spend time with people I care about and show them my love.

Even though my back was hurting, and I wasn’t able to finish the round, I had a great time and hopefully my family enjoyed it even more. Despite the pain, on the drive home I was really happy! But I kept thinking, “How on earth was I able to hit so many great drives with such a screwed up back?” And then I remembered the lesson from last week’s Monday Message. “To find happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves.”

The love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay, 

love isn’t love until you give it away.

~ Oscar Hammerstein

For A Good Reason

Somebody said to me the other day, “Well, you know, things always happen for a reason”. That saying bothers me because it seems like it’s missing an adjective. Shouldn’t it be, “Things always happen for a good reason” or “Things always happen for a bad reason” or how about “for no reason at all”?

I’m not sure what the proper saying should be. But his comment got me thinking about the strangers I meet, who sometimes become valuable friends.

Two years ago, I gave up playing baseball and the worst part was losing connection with so many good friends. I decided to switch to golf, which is a little easier on the body, and is also a good way to make new friends. A few months later, when Covid first started, I remember signing up for an early tee time on a Wednesday morning, hoping to get paired up with somebody fun. When I arrived, I found out I was paired up with three people, and to my surprise one of them was the shortstop from my baseball team! I have always admired Scott for his baseball skills, friendly competitiveness, and unwavering willingness to help others. The other two people were Scott’s wife and a stranger named Dave.

That round of golf changed my life for the better during what seemed like a very dark time. We all enjoyed it so much, we decided to make it a regular weekly event, and we’ve been playing together ever since. It has given me something to look forward to each week and it has given me a new friend!

I didn’t know Dave before that day, but for some reason after one round of golf, I felt like I had known him my whole life. He turned out to be a fantastic golfer, despite being close to 70, but an even better human being. I have never met someone so positive and supportive to everyone around them. Whenever I hit a good shot, Dave is the loudest cheerleader on the course. Whenever I hit a bad shot, which is quite often, Dave is still my biggest fan picking up my spirits and reminding how fun the game can be. Dave is a retired Veterinarian, with an amazing intellect, a quick wit, an awesome sense of humor, and a generous spirit. In fact, just this past week, after finding out about my Monday Message Blog, Dave went out of his way to do something nice for me. He bought me a book called, “Light from many Lamps”, a treasury of inspirational stories with selected wisdom of the ages. How apropos, I mean what could be more perfect for a former light bulb salesman turned philosopher, then a book like that!

I mentioned above that I’m not sure what the proper wording for that old saying should be. But after meeting Dave, I’m absolutely positive that some things really do happen for a good reason!

To find happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves.

~ W. Beran Wolfe

   (from the book “Light from many Lamps"

Darkest Before the Dawn

Is the world a little darker than usual right now? Or is it just me?

Two years ago, my typical workday started early, with darkness outside my window. I would climb into my truck before the sun came up, and head out to do light pole inspection projects. I liked starting early when the world is a little quieter, my mind a little clearer, and the traffic a little lighter. As I drove, I would offer up a prayer of gratitude for all my blessings as I watched the sun rise up and paint the horizon a million bright new colors. Each day had so much possibility and promise, I couldn’t help but smile. Especially since I knew that when my day was done, I could head home to a woman I adore, and a home filled with love.

But things change, the world evolves, and we have to adapt to whatever life throws at us. Nobody saw the nightmare of a pandemic coming, killing millions of people worldwide, and negatively affecting every person on the face of the earth. But it happened, and unfortunately, it’s still happening. Sometimes, as I look at people on the streets, coming and going, most of them with masks on, the rest with frowns on, it just seems so very dark outside, even when the sun is high in the sky. Will things ever be normal again?

Last week I drove to the UPS Store to drop off some shipments. On my way home, I stopped at a red light on a busy street. I was lost in thought when I heard someone yelling. I looked up and realized an elderly man was yelling at me. What? I rolled down my window and heard him cuss at me for stopping with my truck partially in the crosswalk. He was truly angry and just stood there cursing and telling me what I jerk I am. My first reaction was surprise, then momentary anger, and then for some reason I just went calm. I leaned out the window and apologized. I said, “Hey, I’m sorry. You’re right, my mistake!”

That wasn’t good enough. He just kept berating me and telling me over and over again how people like me are stupid and inconsiderate. For whatever reason, I decided to smile and roll with the punches. As he finally walked away giving me the finger, I smiled and called out to him, “Well, I am truly sorry, and you definitely taught me a lesson!” I couldn’t see if he smiled back.

In my younger days, I would have let that old man have it. But I’m an old man now, and I no longer see myself as the center of the universe. Instead, I try to see the big picture. That elderly man may be struggling with cancer, or he might have recently lost his wife to Covid-19. There is no way for me to know how dark his world is right now. But what I do know is, that I don’t need to make it any darker. The only thing I can do these days is try my best to be a beacon of light and brighten the day of anyone I meet that crosses my path. But… hopefully in doing so, not infringe too much on their path!  

Anger and compassion are not too far apart, 

and whenever possible, anger should give way to compassion.

~ Ernest Hemingway 

Presenting Me - Curated Content at 60 (By Debby Thrailkill)

To “Curate” is to select, organize and present, much like wine is made. “Content” has several meanings: As a noun, it means “substance within, distinct in its form and style”. As an adjective, it means “state of peaceful happiness, satisfied with a certain level of achievement, good fortune, and not wishing for more”.

Certain milestones in life cause us to take stock of ourselves. As my 60th birthday month approaches, I’ve been thinking about my level of content with my life to date.

Like grapes from California’s wine country, I have been greatly influenced by the ground beneath me. Sunny and easy-going California days from the 1960s through today have enabled me to have a positive outlook, an easy smile, and a generous spirit. My loving Mom and good friends have taught me faith in God, my most valued gift. My Dad taught me to do what was right. Success in the community at work, and in charity, has built confidence. My amazing husband has been my rock and encouraged me to reach deeper, to improve with age. Joe has loved me infinitely. Substance has come from challenges, including loss, divorce, parenting, navigating relationships, and health concerns; and I’m fine-tuning style with a sense of awareness as opportunities present.

With wine, it’s substance and clarity are judged by tilting a glass sideways over a white surface, so as to fully assess its depth of character. The last two years have been my biggest challenge, and I felt tilted! I focused on family, doing what was right, and helping others as much as possible. Regarding substance, I am content, always leaving room for improvement.

As far as clarity, as my friend, artist Hyatt Moore, puts it, I want to be “of God” as much as possible. In everything I do, I pray to be surrounded by others who strive to be of Him. With that I will be at peace and satisfied, with my curated content.

Next month I will be celebrating my birthday in California’s wine country with those I hold dear. We will taste wines, eat charcuterie, and laugh into the late hours. It will be a state of peaceful happiness, my good fortune, and I couldn’t wish for more!

So shines a good deed in a weary world. 

 ~ Willy Wonka