Unwrapped Presents

Yesterday, I wrote a really serious Monday Message about the divisiveness created by the pandemic. However, when my wife read it, she said that although it was an important message, well done and very dynamic, it should wait. This is not the week to create a stir, this is the week to be stirring in the kitchen, creating a wonderful meal for family members and friends. A week to be thankful for all the things that the pandemic has not stolen from us.

I thought about what she said, and as usual she was right. However, thinking about my life right now, it feels like there are so many bad things going on. I have five family members with health issues and a 50-year-old cousin who just passed away leaving her two teenage boys without a mom. I have a friend battling stomach cancer and another friend who was killed in a car wreck in Mexico last week. The sad thing is, I know I’m not alone because everyone has problems. But here’s a good thought… everyone has something to be thankful for as well! Obviously if you are reading this you are still alive, so at least you’ve got that going for you! So if you are still breathing, maybe it’s a good time to count your blessings and also count out those who make a positive difference in your life. Start with your spouse, your children, or your best friend. That’s easy, but what about the others….the other people in this world that make your life easier… but yet are so easy to take for granted?

I challenge you to create a “Thankful List”. Write down a short list of just 3 people in your life that you would normally tend to overlook. Write their name down and then write them a note explaining why you are thankful they are part of your life. Then mail it to them. You should expect nothing in return. But my guess is that you will be surprised at the impact your words of gratitude will have on the unsuspecting people who find out that they have touched your life in a positive way!

As I wrote out my “Thankful List” (see list on next page) it got me thinking… I know inside I have always felt grateful for the good people that I come across in my daily life, but I just haven’t taken time to do anything about it. I guess feeling gratitude and not making the effort to express it is kind of like going to the trouble to buy someone a present…but then never wrapping  it!

Happiness is the spiritual experience of

                                          living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.                                                                                 ~ Dennis Waitley

“WRAPPED PRESENTS”

Dear Scott and Rhonda, (Our Friends)

Thank you so much for allowing my wife to swim so many times in your backyard pool this past summer. She loves to swim but with our Fitness Center shut down, and with Covid going on and with her having immunity issues, she been pretty much “locked up” at home for the past 19 months. So your generous offer of allowing her to swim in your big, beautiful pool has done wonders for her health and happiness!

 Dear Don, (Our Pastor)

Thank you for continuing to pastor the Church despite the restrictions created by the pandemic. I know it must be really hard on you to have to prepare your Sunday sermons and only be allowed to present them via computer, instead of in person. But I want you to know that my wife and I enjoy your messages very much and often share what we learn with others. Your church may seem smaller to you these days, but I assure you that your messages reach far wider, and do more good, than you will ever know!

 

Dear Tim, (Our former Landlord)

My wife and I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for the past eight years that you were our landlord. Renting your beautiful beach house was a slice of heaven for us and having a caring person like you as our landlord was a real blessing. If something went wrong, we always knew we could count on you, and we appreciate how you went out of your way to keep us posted when there was dangerous high surf or other important issues happening on Beach Road. We miss you and your lovely wife and hope that you are enjoying your retirement now that your beach house has been sold.

Joe is a Jerk

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I can be a pretty terrible person. Why? Because I can be unnecessarily judgmental towards people without even realizing it... and that ain’t good!

On Friday, I took my 80-year-old Father-in-Law, Tom,  golfing at Oso Creek Golf Course. Tom is going through an extremely tough time in his life because his beloved wife of 60 years is terminally ill. So I feel like I should get Tom out of the house once in a while to have a little fun and get his mind off things.

To me, a golf course is a perfect place to find peace and solitude. The grass is always so green, the trees so very lush, and communing with nature is a little bit like snuggling up closer to God. (Well, that’s my opinion anyway.) So I was anxious to spend time with Tom and let him breathe a little fresh air.

When we arrived, we were paired with a single, a man named Larry, making us a threesome, which is normally fine. However, after Larry introduced himself, and told us a little bit about himself, he continued to talk. And talk, and talk, and talk. Larry seemed like he might be an interesting guy, with an amazing memory. How do I know that? Because he told us at least a dozen old time golf jokes, most of which we’ve heard before, but we politely laughed anyway. I tried to be nice to him, but his constant noise was affecting my golf game, which went completely south on the front nine. The good thing was that Tom on the other hand was having the round of his life. So I tried to spend my time encouraging Tom and avoiding Larry, but that wasn’t really possible.

By the 17^th hole, I had turned my score around and just needed to PAR the last two holes to finish with a decent score. However, the whole time I was lining up my putt and stroking the ball on 17, Larry was stroking his gums and telling another stupid story. Needless to say, I missed the putt on 17 and walked away thinking, “Man, that Larry is some kind of jerk.”

I was really glad when the round was over, so I gave Larry a quick little fist bump and quickly walked off the 18^th green. However, he followed me to my golf cart, and quietly said, “I really enjoyed playing with you guys. I’m 82 years old and blind in one eye, so I don’t play well these days, and all my golf buddies have passed away. So getting to spend time with you guys at this beautiful golf course was a real treat for me. Thank you!”

Did I say Larry was a jerk? I meant… Joe is a jerk!

You never know what people are going though. 

Each person has a story to tell. 

So instead of being so overly  judgmental. 

Why not just listen well.

~ Charmaine J. Forde

The Greater Gift

Inspiration can come in many forms. But when we are truly inspired by the words or deeds of others, it can often be life changing. I pondered that thought Saturday morning as I struggled to think of a good birthday gift to give my 15-year-old grandson who was born on Halloween.

When I was a struggling salesperson at 21, I was given the gift of a book called, “The Greatest Salesman in the World”. That book was a huge inspiration to me, teaching me that honesty and integrity should be the core values of my life. By age 23, I was the top salesman in the company.

Although I had a successful business of my own by the age of 32, I knew something was still missing from my life. Then I heard an ad on the radio asking for volunteers to install a Cross on top of historic Battle Mountain in San Diego. Taking on that project and hiking up that mountain over and over again for 6 months, not only increased my physical strength, it strengthened my spiritual side as well. The inspiration provided by that beautiful Cross, an awesome gift from God, still guides me in my faith today.

At 39, I married the love of my life who gave me a wedding gift that I will forever appreciate. The gift she gave me was teaching me the value of focusing on others while putting myself second. She was only 33 at the time, but within just a few short years, she took a small struggling charity and built it into a multi-million-dollar agency feeding thousands of hungry families every month. Her gift of selflessness to others inspired me then, and continues to inspire me now.

Looking back at all the things that provided major inspiration in my life, I realize one of the very first events happened when I was too was 15 years old. I desperately wanted to figure out a way to get a car by the time I turned 16. So I asked my Dad about it, but he couldn’t afford to help me financially. However, he did find a way to help me. He sat me down and explained to me that the secret to getting anything you wanted in life involved only two words… hard work!

Remembering that life lesson gift my Dad gave me got me thinking. And suddenly, I knew exactly what I should give my grandson for his birthday… a gift far greater than anything money can buy!

All of our dreams can come true 

if we simply have the courage to pursue them.

~ Walt Disney

        P.S. If you are curious about what it was I gave my grandson, read the letter attached.

Dear Jack.

Happy 15^th Birthday!

I would like to give you something special for your birthday, an envelope. Inside it is a small amount of money… mixed with a large amount of inspiration!

When I was 15 years old, I started dreaming about having my own truck someday and all the freedom that goes with driving. So I went to my Dad and asked him if he would help me buy a truck when I got to be 16. He said he couldn’t afford it.

My Dad was in the Marine Corps, and they aren’t paid that much. But two days later he came to me and apologized and said, “Son, I can’t really help you financially, but I can do two things for you. Here is an envelope that says, “Joe’s Truck” on the outside and inside is a $20 bill.” (At that time, $20 was a lot of money.) My Dad went on to say, “I talked to our neighbor, the rancher named Jack, and asked him if he needed any help on his ranch during the summer. He said yes, so if you go talk to him and impress him, he might give you a part time job. That way you can start adding more money to this envelope every week. Who knows, maybe within a year, if you work hard and keep looking for part time jobs, you might have enough money in that envelope to buy yourself a used truck!”

I worked on Jack’s Ranch all summer making $1.25 an hour, plus I took on other part time jobs after school, like working at a gas station. By the time I turned 16, I had exactly $300 in that envelope. So I checked the newspapers, and found a 1960 Chevy Truck for only $350.00. My Dad said we should go check it out and maybe the guy would come down on the price.

We went to see the truck and it was just an old white Pick Up, but I fell in love with it. When I asked the guy if he would go down to $300, he said no. My Dad then told the guy how hard I had worked the past year to raise my own money and the guy thought about it. Then he changed his mind and said, “I will go down to $320.00. That’s it. Take it or leave it!” My Dad saw the sad look in my face, broke out his wallet and counted out $19 in bills, plus $1 in quarters from his pocket… and I drove away smiling like I had just won the lottery.

I took great care of that truck because I understood how hard it was to make the money to buy it. It was my “first love” but it was also the first real inspiration that sparked my work ethic, and that inspiration went on to guide me to a very successful work life and career.

I hope this story inspires you to work hard and have a good successful life of your own!

Love you,

 

Grandpa Joe

The Unexpected

People like surprises and people like thoughtfulness. Sometimes those two things can go together quite nicely!

My wife, Debby, is a master at it. She is always thinking about others and doing nice things for people. Me not so often. She is also willing to sacrifice her time to put in time for others. Me not so much. She is also really clever and gifted at gift giving. Me not at all!

Debby sets a really good example. So on Saturday morning I decided I would try, in some small way, to follow her lead. Unfortunately, I’m not good at picking out gifts. In fact, I am the worst gift “picker outer” in the world, which I get from my Mom. She once gave my youngest daughter a fur trimmed blouse for Christmas. We still laugh about that “fuzzy squirrel shirt” 20 years later.  

It took me a while to figure things out, but it finally dawned on me that the best gifts are the ones you make yourself. And although I can’t really cook, there is one thing that my wonderful, thoughtful Mother (trying to make up for slamming my Mom above) taught me, how to make really tasty southern style Biscuits and Gravy. The secret is to start with two pounds of bacon (because everything tastes better with bacon) and a whole lot of continuous stirring as you make the gravy. Throw in the right amount of salt and pepper and voila! Lead sinkers!

After creating a huge batch of biscuits and gravy, possibly my best batch ever, I packed the goodies into three separate snap-ware bowls and headed out the door. My goal was to surprise and delight my three adult children and their families who live nearby. Needless to say, I made their day, and even surprised myself in a way!

Making a tasty breakfast and driving it all over town wasn’t easy. But I learned something. Sometimes doing the unexpected can be really fun and satisfying… for the people on both ends!

He who gives when he is asked, has waited too long. 

Give when it is unexpected.

~ Seneca

There Must Be A Reason

I was awarded a Metals Inspection Project last week for street light poles on Alta Knoll Drive in Santa Clarita. I knew it was going to be a long drive, but since there were only 22 poles to inspect, I thought it would be a fairly quick and easy project. I couldn’t have been more wrong!

The job consisted of inspecting the metal at the base of each street light pole. Unfortunately, I had to push a heavy roll cart filled with tools and the poles were spaced about a hundred yards apart. That may not seem so bad, but 22 poles equals 2200 yards, which is 1 ½ miles! And not only, I discovered when I got there that Alta Knoll Drive is one heck of a super steep, extremely narrow, winding mountain road with “No Parking” signs the entire length.

I had to park at one end or the other, so I chose to park at the top of the street and work my way down with my roll cart. Pretty smart, right! The other smart thing was that I took orange safety cones with me and although several cars tried to squash me into the guard rail, I somehow managed to survive. Now my problem was I had to leave my roll cart behind and hike back up the long road. I decided to carry some of my more expensive tools and equipment with me so they wouldn’t get stolen, but by the time I was halfway up the mountain, I was gassed! By the time I finally got to my truck at the top of the road, my legs were burning, my lungs were burning, and my throat was on fire. I drank an entire bottle of water in 10 seconds. Then I sat there exhausted and thought to myself, “This is really hard work and you’re not young anymore, so why are you doing this? There must be a reason!”

When I got home my wife made a great meal and we sat out on our patio to enjoy the view. She asked me if we could talk about Christmas, which was interesting because Christmas is months away. But she explained she was worried about our budget this year, and since I am only working part-time, she wanted to plan ahead to make sure there was enough money to cover everyone on our list. (My wife loves to buy thoughtful presents for deserving people!) As I reviewed her list, I saw a name I hadn’t seen on our Christmas list before, Nelia, who is the caretaker we hired to help my wife’s mother who has Alzheimer’s. Nelia is an amazing woman with a heart of gold who is providing outstanding care to someone we love, at a time when she really needs it. I agree with my wife that we should buy her something really nice at Christmas time. In fact, I think her generous nature is one of the things I love most about her.

So why I am still working hard at age 66 to make a little extra money? I think I figured out the reason!

There are three things in life that should be important.

The first is to be thoughtful. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be generous.

        ~ Henry James

Worldly Wisdom

I have a problem. Okay, some people would say I have a lot of problems, but there is one problem in particular that has plagued me my whole life. I allow myself to be “too busy”, and it’s not a good thing!

Actually, I think it’s good to work hard and be productive. But it’s also important to lead a balanced life putting faith, family, and friends first, and work second. But even when it comes to faith, family, and friends, it’s easy for me to get overloaded. So with the holidays coming up, arguably the busiest time of year for everyone, I have decided to try to slow my life down a little and enjoy myself more.

As I write that decision down and think about it, I find myself thinking about my friend Pao Chi Chen. She was 88  years old when I ran her over with my truck. Somehow she survived and we became very close friends. She lived to be 95 years old, and her life was incredibly hard at times, but she also became a famous artist who traveled the world and spoke four languages. Over the years, she amassed an amazing amount of life experience as well as worldly wisdom and yet one of her main passions was gardening. She spoke of several beautiful garden exhibits in China that she loved to visit as a little girl. She said she enjoyed the beauty of a garden and that it helped her to “slow down”. I will never forget when she told me that, because she was looking straight into my eyes at the time, trying to impart some wisdom to this middle-aged businessman with his head up his butt.

Pao Chi Chen passed away at 95, but I will never forget her or her wonderful words of wisdom. Earlier this morning, I was reading and came across a story about a beautiful garden in Peking, China. Instantly I thought about Pao Chi Chen and wondered if this was one of the gardens she visited as a child. The book described the garden in great detail. It was enclosed by a high wall. In the center on a stone wall, surrounded by twining red and white flowers, was a brass plate almost two feet long. The words on the brass plate were in Mandarin Chinese.

When translated into English: 

Enjoy Yourself

It's Later Than You Think!

Time For This One To Come Home

Life is full of surprises, mainly because things are always changing. For example, my wife and I have been renting a home on Beach Road for 10 years now, and have really been happy living here. But unfortunately, our home was just sold, and the new owners are planning to radically increase the rent, which means we will be moving soon. I wonder if we can find a new home that we will be happy with?

When I was 14, I lived with my parents in a nice home in a little town called Fallbrook. They took me to church every Sunday, where the very first seeds of my faith were sown. I was happy there.  

When I was 16, my parents moved to San Francisco. I ended up living in a tiny plywood shack with no electricity, no running water, and no bathroom. To me it was an adventure, and I was happy living there.

When I was 24, I bought my first home. It was in a newly constructed area off El Toro Road, built for low-income people like me, and therefore affordable. It was just a small simple home, with no yard or landscaping, not even a fence. I had to work really hard to fix it up, but I was happy living there.

When I got divorced at 37, I was living in a brand new four-bedroom view home with a pool. I had to sell it at a loss, and move temporarily to one of those extended stay Motels in Irvine. It was just a room, but it was mine, and I was happy there.

When I was 48 and remarried, my loving wife and I built a custom home in Coto de Caza. It was a three-story Tuscan Estate on an acre of land with a gorgeous view. It had four bedrooms, plus an office, a gym, a movie theater room, and a pool with a spa. Needless to say, I was happy there, and so was she.

When I was 56 and our four children were all grown and gone, we decided to downsize. My wife thought it would be fun to rent a house at the beach for a month while we looked for a new home to buy. However, we never made time to look for a new home because we immediately fell in love with the beach. She was right, it has been fun, and I have been really happy here.

At the age of 66, I am used to things changing. While I do not know where I will end up next, and I do not know what my next home will look like, I do know I will always be happy no matter where my home is. Why? I think it’s because I have always known where my final home is going to be!

Drizzle, Drazzle, Druzzle, Drome; time for this one to come home.

~ from the 1960’s Cartoon "Tooter Turtle"