Yesterday was the 4th of
July and everywhere I went flags were flying and people were smiling. Maybe I noticed the smiles because for the first time in
15 months people were mask free. And maybe people were smiling because all of
us really needed something to celebrate right now after suffering through such
a horrible pandemic. All I know is that when the fireworks started at exactly
9:00pm, my first thought was… I love my country, a place where love and freedom
live hand in hand.
Actually, I say that I love my country and I truly do in my heart, but what have I done to show it? I ask that question because as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that love is an “action word”. To love something or someone means you actually have to get your butt up off the couch and go take action. Unfortunately, when it comes to showing my love for my country, I haven’t really done much other than vote and proudly display a flag. As far as showing love to my country, I think my butt has been stuck to the couch far too long and I need to think of more ways to put love into action.
Sometimes I find that putting love into action is easy, like when it comes to loving my wife. She means so much to me that I am constantly looking for ways to express my love. Sometimes it’s a little thing like hiding love notes throughout the kitchen cabinets. Sometimes it’s a big thing like giving up watching the US Open on TV and instead, buying and installing a new TV for her father.
The bottom line is, I love my country so I need to find more ways to show it; and I love my wife, so I need to find new ways to show her my love. But what do I do when I’m supposed to love someone but that particular someone isn’t good to me at all? In my case, it’s my sister who I haven’t heard from in years. We’ve been estranged for a long time, for a lot of reasons, and the whole situation makes me sad. I have reached out to her in the past, as recently as two years ago, but I’ve never heard back from her and probably never will. So why do I care? Because of that action word, love. And also because I recently heard that her diabetes has become life threatening.
When I first heard the news, I tried to ignore it. But then I realized I was being tested. So if I am being tested, and if love really is an action word, and if I truly do love my sister, then I have to take action no matter how I am being treated in return. Why? Because love is patient and love is kind. (I’m pretty sure I read that somewhere.) So I took action and wrote her a letter, filled with love and devoid of anger and bitterness. I hope she reads it, but even if she doesn’t, I will know that I have passed the test.
Writing a letter to
my sister was really hard. But I hope by sharing it below, you will be encouraged
to reach out to that certain someone in your life that you’re having trouble
with… and pass the test yourself!
June 29th,
2021
Dear Vivian,
I heard through the grapevine that you're not doing well, that diabetes is taking a toll on you and causing you serious problems. That makes me sad and worries me. I have been thinking about you ever since I heard that and thought maybe I would reach out to you.
I know you are not happy with me and that you don’t like me and probably never have… and that’s okay. I am far from perfect and can be a real pain in the ass sometimes! So I probably deserve plenty of criticism. But I’m still your brother, and your still my sister, and you and I are all that is left of the original family of Joan and Allen Thrailkill. We share blood, we share DNA, and we share a lot of good memories despite the few bad ones.
Mostly, I just wanted to tell you I hope you get better soon and that I care about you. So please listen to your doctors and do what they say because life is short enough as it is and your kids and your grandkids and your husband need you. And if you ever need me, please just ask, and I will be there for you.
One other thing I wanted to share, just a brief comment about my faith. In 1988, my marriage was on the rocks, and I was suffering from serious health issues. I will never forget the day I went all by myself to the base of Black Mountain in Rancho Penasquitos and sat on a big hard rock. I sat there for such a long time that my butt started hurting as much as my head, and then I started praying and asking God for help. I told Him I needed His help. That was the first time I had ever asked for God’s help, and something happened that day that changed me for the rest of my life. I didn’t become perfect. I didn’t even become a better person right away. But over time I kept talking to God on a regular basis and I slowly formed a personal connection with Him. That connection has brought me great joy and a level of peace that I can’t really explain in words. I just know that I wake up every day happy and able to face any problem that comes my way. I want that for you as well… peace, joy, and happiness no matter what problems you may be facing!
I live 60 miles away but if you ever need me, or even just want to talk, please call me.
Joe
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