Open Doors

There are some important changes I need to make in my life right now, but I’m hesitating because change is hard… and change is scary. Why is that?

You know what else is scary… earthquakes! On July 4^th, my wife and I were headed to the gym and were stopped at a stoplight when the first big earthquake hit. My truck started swaying and kept on swaying and it felt really weird. Some of the people at the stoplight rolled down their windows and started yelling to each other, “Hey, what is this, a 4^th of July earthquake?”

When the second earthquake hit, we were at home sitting on the couch together. The couch started moving so my wife and I immediately bolted outside to the beach. The reason we went that direction is because there is a huge 100’ cliff above coast highway on the other side of our house and it’s common for huge boulders to fall down onto the highway, even when there isn’t an earthquake.

After the shaking stopped, I walked to the front of our house to check out the cliff and see if any boulders had fallen. I couldn’t see any damage from where I stood, but it got me thinking about rocks falling and how we don’t have control over Mother Nature. Which reminded me that maybe we don’t have control over Mother Nature, but God certainly does. Which in turn got me thinking about that huge boulder that blocked the entrance to where Jesus was buried.

According to the book of Matthew, two women (both named Mary) went to the tomb of Jesus to prepare his body for burial. They didn’t know that there had been a huge boulder put in the way. But when they arrived, the boulder was moved aside, and an angel of the Lord greeted them, saying, “Come see inside, He has risen”.  I always thought that the angel moved the rock so Jesus could leave. But now I realize that Jesus was already gone. The reason the angel moved the boulder was so that the two women could see inside… and see that Jesus was gone. They must have been scared to go inside, scared by the huge boulder, and by the angel, and by the empty tomb. But they gathered enough strength to move forward. And when they did, they were amazed and overjoyed.

And all that got me thinking… Change is hard and change is scary, especially when a new door opens and we know we need to go through it. But I realize now that when I am scared to go through a new door, or too scared to think I can move a boulder out of my way, God can and will do it for me!

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, 

the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me. 

~ Anonymous

The Thoughtful Trifecta

We live on Beach Road where many of the homes are rented out on a weekly basis, especially during the summer months. That means we constantly have new neighbors. But I never know what kind of people will arrive next, where they came from, how long they will stay, or whether or not they will be nice or a nuisance. The only thing I do know, is what kind of person my wife is.

Let me just say that our weekly new neighbors certainly are lucky people. Sometimes it’s a huge pan of brownies, sometimes it’s a dozen cookies. Sometimes, if they are an elderly couple, it’s a complete meal. My wife doesn’t discriminate, she’s an equal opportunity cook and treats every new neighbor like a long lost relative. Besides being an excellent chef and a creative baker, she is thoughtful in her gift giving. She will often wait to see how many people there are, whether or not they have kids, and whether they are young or old before she goes into action. I remember one day coming home to find a huge bag full of beany babies in our family room because as it turns out, the new people that just arrived next door had seven children under the age of 12.

Being thoughtful and going out of her way for strangers is an awesome trait. But there is a second aspect to her “gift giving” that really blows me away. I remember reading in the Bible (in the first chapter of the New Testament) that we are supposed to be careful and quiet when we do good things. We are not supposed to put on a show so that everyone notices. We are supposed to be humble and realize that God will always know our good works… and that is all that really matters.

So guess who gets to deliver the brownies and cookies and gifts? That’s right, me! And it’s really fun! People are surprised and shocked to see me walk up with a plate full of goodies out of nowhere and I just love their reactions. I usually take a minute to find out where they’re from and make a little small talk, but I always leave feeling guilty because I wasn’t the thoughtful one and I didn’t do the work. I’m just the lucky guy who gets to have the fun of seeing all those happy faces. So I always make sure to mention right up front, the one who deserves the credit back home.

My wife has given hundreds of thoughtful gifts to many, many people. But the best gift is the one she has given me. It’s the gift of learning a powerful lesson of service, hospitality and humility. You might even call it the thoughtful trifecta!

Debby patrolling Beach Road for new neighbors to serve!

Your giving should be done in secret. Your Father can 

see what is done in secret, and he will reward you.

~ Matthew 6:4

Making a Difference

Let me ask you a question. When you first applied for your current sales position, you were probably asked, “Why do you want this job?”. Can you remember how you responded? You probably didn’t say something like, “Because I want to get rich and drive a nice car and buy a big house.” You may have thought it, but I doubt that was your answer.

Chances are, your answer had something to do with “great opportunity”, or “high potential.” But I also think you probably mentioned something about how you enjoy helping people and/or solving problems. Isn’t that the answer we are supposed to give, even if we don’t mean it?

So let me ask you another question. Why is it that during an interview, when we are trying to make our best impression, we think we need to mention the fact that we enjoy helping other people? Is it because we think it sounds good, or is it because deep down we truly know that helping other people is the highest calling of the sales profession?

Even though it’s easy to forget, we should always remember that making a difference is more important than making a dollar. Sure, a dollar puts food on the table and a roof over our head, but we know in our gut that more money isn’t going to matter in the end. What will matter are the people whose lives we have touched along the way. Money provides a certain amount of outward pleasure and that’s a fair reward for being good at what we do. But making a difference to others can fulfill a person in a way that money never will.

As a successful salesperson who has had to learn a lot of lessons the hard way, I know one thing for sure. When you believe that people are more important than profits, profits begin to climb. It’s pretty simple actually and fairly similar to the “Golden Rule”. People like doing business with someone who cares more about them than their bank account. So let me ask you one final question, “How many lives will you touch along the way? 

Making a difference is more important than making a dollar.

~ Joseph Thrailkill

Fansmanship

It’s summer now and baseball season is really starting to heat up. The 90th Annual All-Star Game is coming up on July 9^th in Cleveland along with the Home Run Derby, and since more home runs are being hit than ever before, it should be quite a spectacle.

As far as our local MLB teams, the Dodgers are in first place, 13 games ahead of their nearest competitor thanks largely to the having one of the best hitters in the game in Cody Bellinger. The Angels, however, who do have the absolute best player in all of baseball in Mike Trout, unfortunately are in fourth place. But the story lines are not always about home runs and winning. I witnessed something happen in a baseball game over the weekend that I have never seen before and will probably never ever see again.

The LA Angels have a young future Hall-of-Famer in Mike Trout. But they also have a veteran player who will undoubtedly be a first ballot Hall-of-Famer in Albert Pujols. But Albert wasn’t always an Angel. The first 11 years of his career were spent with the Saint Louis Cardinals. And what a career. While playing for Saint Louis Cardinals, Albert was voted Rookie of the Year, National League MVP 3 times, an All-Star 9 times, and led the Cardinals to two World Series Championships. The people of Saint Louis were totally in love with Albert, not just because of his baseball skills but also because of all the community service and charity work he constantly did. So you can imagine how the fans felt when Albert left Saint Louis to join the LA Angels in 2012. That can’t have been good.

On Saturday, the LA Angels went to Saint Louis to play the Cardinals. It was the first time Albert Pujols played baseball in Saint Louis since leaving that town 7 years ago. He was probably nervous about playing in front of his former fans, but he shouldn’t have been. When Albert first stepped onto the field to warm up and every time he stepped up to the plate, he received a standing ovation. Thousands of fans brought posters proclaiming their undying love despite the fact that Albert quit their team many years ago. What! Aren’t fans supposed to be fickle about their beloved super stars?

On Saturday, in the seventh inning, Albert Pujols stepped up to the plate in an Angels uniform and blasted his 646^th career home run. Surprisingly, the fans went wild! Remember now, this is an opposing player on an opposing team who just hit a home run. But there they are, fans standing, cheering, waving, and proclaiming their love for a player who deserted them for bigger, better money in the supposedly bigger, better town of LA. Apparently it didn’t matter that Albert left town, he never left their hearts. It was quite the surprising spectacle. Decent people, cheering for a decent guy, just plain happy to see him succeed. Which got me thinking… We don’t just need more fans to be like that, we need more people to be like that!

Sports is a microcosm of human life.  

~ Howard Cosell

Was God Testing Me?

In April I wrote a Monday Message about my Chinese friend, Pao Chi Chen. I explained that I met her when I ran her over with my truck and nearly killed her eight years ago. I wrote about how we became best friends, inspiring each other to do things we love, even when it might be difficult.

I also mentioned that Pao Chi had developed cancer, yet still managed to come up with a wonderful birthday present for me. I knew her 95^th birthday was coming up in June so I was really hoping that I would be able to give her a beautiful birthday present in return on her birthday. Well, I am happy to report that Pao Chi Chen celebrated her 95^th birthday with her family on Tuesday June 11^th, so I made plans to bring her a gift the following day. When I arrived, her son greeted me at the door and graciously accepted the beautifully wrapped gift my wife helped me prepare. Unfortunately, he explained that Pao Chi was asleep, so I was not able to see her at that time and give her a big hug. But I knew I could always come back another day.

Pao Chi never woke up… so another day will never come. I will never be able to give her another hug, or see her beautiful face, the wisdom in her eyes, or tell her how much she has meant to me. The only thing I can do now, is wonder…Why did that accident happen, why did Pao Chi come into my life, and what was God trying to teach me?

Some people believe that God orchestrates every moment of our lives. I do not believe that. I believe that God can orchestrate and do anything he wants anytime he wants, but I also believe He gave us free will for a reason and that we are free to make our own choices. Eight years ago, I chose to be distracted in my head and failed to pay attention. So in essence, it was my bad choices that caused me to run over a tiny little old lady who was simply trying to walk to the store for groceries. Was God trying to tell me something? I don’t know. But I do know he didn’t cause that horrible accident to happen. I did. And as horrible and traumatic as those first few moments were, the really difficult part was deciding what to do from that point on.

Maybe God was testing me? Would I follow the ambulance to the hospital? Would I meet with her family and apologize to her for my carelessness? Would I continue to visit her in the hospital for months? Would I spend hours with her every week for the next 8 years, going for walks, discussing nature, and sharing our views on religion? Would I do the right thing after doing the wrong thing?

Immediately after the accident, I prayed for Pao Chi Chen to live and walk again, and God answered my prayer far beyond my wildest dreams. He spared her life and changed mine. I learned that we all fall short at times in our lives. But it’s not that we fall, it’s what we do with our lives once we get back up that matters.

Prayer is when we talk to God. Life is when God talks to us.

~ Diana Robinson 

The Greatest Blessing

I’ve heard it said that managing people is the hardest job there is. Having owned businesses and managed people myself for over 40 years, I would definitely have to agree. But it’s not that people are hard to manage. It’s that people are the most important asset of any business and therefore, they should always be treated with respect and kindness (which can get a little tricky at times). So, if managing people is hard, then the hardest people management job I can think of… is parenting.

I grant you mothers have the hardest management job of all. Not only do they have to give birth to, and then manage their children, they also have to manage their husbands, which most women will say is nothing but hard work. But fathers don’t have it easy either, which got me thinking. What is the role of the father, what should his management style be, and how do I fit into that picture?

If you’re reading this Monday Message, then you probably know me personally. And if you do, then you probably know that I have 4 children, which definitely accords me the title of “Father” and all the corresponding sweat, smiles, sadness, and joy that go with that title. But what you may not know is that I am not your traditional father. I adopted a newborn baby when I was 29 and then married a woman with three young children when I was 39. It’s not that I don’t like sex. I do, very much! (Maybe I’m just not very good at it!) But that’s okay, because I still ended up with four wonderful children that I love and enjoy very much. All four of my children are grown now and most of them have children of their own, but my role as a father hasn’t changed. So back to my question, what is the role of the father and what should his management style be?

The Role of a Father

Be Loving and Affectionate

    Let them know you love them, not just with your words, but also with your actions.

Be Strong and Supportive          

    Men are stronger for a reason, so extend your strength and support and always have their back.

Be Active and Involved          

   Get off that couch, even if it's the 4th quarter of the big game, and get personally involved.

Be a Provider and Protector

    Your priorities start with providing for their needs and end with protecting them at all costs.

Some people might say that I am not a real Dad. But I know I’ve tried hard to fill the fatherhood role listed above and be as much of a blessing to my children as possible. Funny thing is, the greatest blessing of all is the one they have given me!

Just some of the many Thrailkill kids and grandkids

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. 

Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass.” 

My Dad would always reply, “We’re not raising grass. We’re raising boys!” 

~ Harmon Killebrew 

Clouds

I might be 64 but I certainly don’t feel like an old man. However, I have noticed that I’m a bit more forgetful than I used to be. Sometimes I misplace things like my keys or my phone and it can be really frustrating. On Memorial Weekend I lost something extremely valuable and it upset the heck out of me. But looking back on it now, I’m not sure it was necessarily age related.

My wife and I decided to stay in town over Memorial Weekend and work on fixing up our patio. She challenged me to create a decorative hardwood wall to hide the ugly old fence on the north side of the patio. I love wood working anyway, so I gladly accepted the challenge. After figuring out the type of wood I wanted to use and how many boards I needed, I jumped into my truck and headed to the nearest Home Depot. Unfortunately, that Home Depot only had 6 boards in stock. Two hours and four Home Depot stops later, I finally had enough wood. I was really frustrated by then because I had a lot of other things I needed to do and there just never seems to be enough time in the day.

Since we don’t have a garage at our Beach House, I do my woodworking in the carport area. After backing into the carport, I grabbed my wallet, phone, and keys and dropped the tailgate of my truck. I headed into the house to let my wife know I was home and then rushed back out to the carport to uncover my electric saw and get to work. Around 6pm that evening I was only a third of the way done, but I was tired so I decided to knock off for the day. There was still a large amount of wood in the back of my truck, so I left it there and went back inside the house. After cleaning up and changing clothes, I noticed that my keys and watch were on my dresser… but my wallet was gone!

I figured I must have left it in my truck, so I didn’t panic. After carefully searching every square inch inside my truck, I still couldn’t find it. Maybe I set it down inside the house somewhere, but after searching everywhere inside our small house (which doesn’t take long), I still couldn’t find it. Now it was time to panic! I must have accidentally dropped it somewhere. What an idiot I am! I had to start calling to cancel all my credit cards and now I was both angry and frustrated.

The next day I continued to work on the hardwood wall and was able to complete it. It actually turned out pretty nice, which took away some of my anger and frustration from the previous day. In fact, I was feeling really good inside for the first time all weekend, and I think it comes from being able to create something beautiful from scratch. As the sun was setting, I went back out to the carport one last time to put away my tools and close the tailgate of my truck. When I did, guess what I found sitting on my rear bumper!

And that got me thinking… Being angry and frustrated often clouds my mind and makes every problem seem worse than it really is. Happiness on the other hand brings me many rewards!

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

 ~ Abraham Lincoln