The Change in Me

I watched “The Tour Championship” Golf Tournament this weekend. As I watched the golfers compete, an age-old question came to mind, one that’s really hard to answer. Can people really change?

I’ve heard it said a hundred times that people never really change. Psychologists say that our personalities are fully formed by the time we are 7 or 8 years old, but I’m not sure if I really believe that. However, those same psychologists say that a woman should not marry a man expecting to change him, and that is definitely something I believe. So I’m not sure what the real answer is. But I do know what I want it to be!

My favorite golfers are guys like Jordan Spieth, Ricky Fowler and Phil Mickelson. They are world class golfers who are probably also world class men. Whenever I watch a golf tournament, they appear to be humble, friendly, and genuinely appreciative of their fans. I can’t say the same thing about Tiger Woods. I’ve always loved watching him golf, but the terrible things he did to his family really turned me off. It wasn’t only the things he did in his personal life, he just always seemed to be a bit too arrogant and aloof.

Of course, a lot of years have gone by since Tiger fell from the mountaintop. As I watched him compete yesterday, I wondered, “Has he truly changed?” The first few days of the tournament he seemed so different. He was smiling, joking with the other golfers, and even took time to acknowledge his fans. On the final day, he still seemed like the new Tiger… until about halfway through the round. All of a sudden, I saw that look in his eye. He stopped noticing the fans and as he walked to the next tee box he was visibly different. He kept his head down, ignored the crowd, and walked like a man on a mission. It was very reminiscent of the old Tiger and for a moment I wondered if the old Tiger had resurfaced. Was this a resurgence of his arrogant aloofness or simply competitive intensity? The answer came quickly at the end of the tournament, Tiger smiling and exhibiting a reborn love for the game and his historically important place in it. I’m no psychologist but my guess is that Tiger has learned a few life lessons along the way.

I guess you could say I’m a lot like Tiger. No, not in my golf game, but definitely in the way that I too had to learn a lot of important life lessons along the way. I used to have a bit of a temper, I used to work too many hours, and I used to focus way too much on my own wants and needs. Over the years (and because I married such a brilliant woman), experience has taught me to be more patient, lead a more balanced life, and broaden my perspective. It’s too bad that most of the time, wisdom requires experience and experience requires time, but that’s just the way it is. The good news is that the answer to that age-old question is YES!... People can change and usually for the better. They just have to want to change!

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? 

Only one, but the light bulb has got to want to change.

~ Anonymous