True Courage

I made a big mistake this weekend by over focusing on my own needs and thereby demonstrating a lack of courage.  Thinking about it is embarrassing enough, so writing about it to hundreds of readers is super humiliating for sure. However, I learned something from it, so maybe if I share it, you can learn from it too.

But before I tell you what I did wrong, let me “back up” a bit and give you the “back story”. If you’ve been reading my Monday Messages over the past few months you know that I have been struggling with a tough back pain issue for the last 7 weeks. I finally got an MRI and the doctor determined that I need to have a special procedure done. But when I went in last Monday morning to have the procedure done, I found out the doctor injured his hand over the weekend and can’t do any procedures for a month. So I spent most of last week trying to find another doctor who could perform the procedure, but struck out at every turn, which is really frustrating because the pain never goes away. I can’t walk any distance, stand for any length of time or lift anything without pain. For a guy who is fairly athletic, life has really come to a crawl! (Literally!)

Fast forward to this past Saturday. I’m trying to put my pants on but the pain is pretty bad at that moment, so I have to sit down to do it. As I’m sitting on the edge of the bed, I slip and fall and hit my head on the nightstand. Here’s the picture… I’m lying on the floor with my pants halfway on, my back is hurting, my head is hurting and I’m totally pissed off. So I lose it and get real upset. I was so frustrated and so tired of the pain that I started feeling sorry for myself and that’s normally a big “No-No” in my book. To make things worse my wife came in the room and I let her see how upset I was. So I made a second mistake by pouring out all my sadness and feelings of frustration onto her. (Fortunately for me, I have an awesome wife who is always there to support me.)

Let’s face it, everyone has a problem of some kind and there a lot of people out there who are way worse off than me. So first, for me to “lose it” was a big mistake because there are a thousand things going right in my life. God has blessed me in so many ways, that I should absolutely never complain about anything. Second, my Dad taught me all about true courage in the face of pain. Before passing away, he suffered with esophageal cancer for six months and never, ever complained even once about the pain or about being terminally ill. He was truly a man of character and courage and never wanted to burden my Mom or us kids with his pain or problems.

After I regained my composure, I immediately regretted my moment of weakness. I thought about my Dad and all that he taught me. I thought about my wife and how she depends on me to be strong and always have a good attitude. And I thought about the legacy I want to leave for my children. So I came to a conclusion. A moment of weakness will not define me, but it will remind me… True courage is all about putting yourself and your own needs second… to the needs of others!

Don’t let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life.

 ~ Anonymous