Listening is Loving

In a few days my oldest Grandson will be leaving for college in Arizona. It’s hard enough to believe I have six grandchildren let alone one that is old enough for college, but I do. His name is Jared and he’s a very special young man, so I would love to give him some advice before he leaves home.

Jared was my very first grandchild but that’s not the reason he’s so special to me. I love him because he is so unassuming and so loving to his Mom and two younger siblings. He doesn’t have an arrogant bone in his body even though he is smart, athletic, and surprisingly gifted in the theatrical arts. There was a time four years ago when his 13-year-old Little League Team needed a coach and he asked me if I would volunteer to manage his team. Although I was older than any other coach out there, by a lot, it was one of the best experiences of my life. It gave me a chance to see how he interacts with his peers and it gave us a unique chance to bond over sports, teamwork and challenges. We didn’t win very many games but I believe Jared and all 12 of his teammates had a fun season…and that was truly my only goal. So Jared, I love you buddy. And if I could give you any advice as you head out to start life on your own it would be these three things…

First off, life is tough enough as it is, but it’s a lot tougher if you start off headed in the wrong direction. So before you get started with your college life, sit down and write out a description of who you are, meaning the rules that you decide are best for you to live by.  There’s something about putting it down on paper that makes it so much more real. If you believe in honesty, write it down. If you believe you should always have your friends back, write it down. If you believe in staying away from drugs, write it down and stick to it.

Second, set up some goals for yourself and put those in writing. Make them reasonable goals and keep them short term. Then when you achieve them, feel good about it and set new, even higher goals.

Third, get used to fear by realizing that “courage comes from character”. Trust me, you will be tested. There will be a lot of scary situations that come up and a lot of scary people that will tempt you to do wrong. Just remember, courage is not the absence of fear, it’s doing what’s right… despite being afraid.

One last piece of advice that I wish I had heard before I headed off to college. If you want to succeed in life and be happy, make it a point to listen. Listen to what others are trying to teach you. Listen to other people’s points of view and listen to the people you love. In fact, you might even consider listening to an old man like me because I’ve certainly made my share of mistakes. And then if you ever need me… call me and I will listen to you.…because Listening is Loving!

Jared at 13 with the Blackhawks (bottom row, 2nd from left)

Jared at 17 heading off to College

The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.

~ Sydney J. Harris