Living Proof

Back in March I wrote a Monday Message about a friend of mine named Charlie. I wrote about him because he was such a good and kind man, who was always trying to find ways to help others. He also inspired me with his courage and awesome attitude. Despite having stage four lung cancer and being given only three months to live, he was still working at his job, taking care of his young autistic son and volunteering time hosting a Kids Workshop at Home Depot every Saturday.

 

When I found out that Charlie had cancer and that it had spread to his lymph nodes, I started praying for him immediately. I prayed hard and I prayed every single day. He was at the top of my prayer list every morning and because of that, whenever I found myself frustrated or upset over something that went wrong in my life, the thought of Charlie’s situation would pop into my mind and I would realize that my problems weren’t really so bad after all. Imagine that…even Charlie’s cancer was a way for him to help others!

 

On Friday I had to drive to up to an Ayres Hotel in Los Angeles to solve a lighting problem for an important customer.  That is something I really enjoy, however, I also had a ton of work on my plate back at the office still to do. So when I got caught in really heavy traffic on the way back, I became seriously frustrated. One thing about being stuck in traffic, it gives you a chance to do some thinking. My thoughts turned to Charlie and I started thinking about one of the “personal” reasons I was praying so hard for him…regret! You see, a long time ago I did something wrong to Charlie. He doesn’t know about it but I do… and I have always regretted it and wished I could do something to change it, but I can’t.

Ayres Hotel - Hawthorne

Twenty years ago, Charlie’s wife worked for me at my company. She was young and petite yet she had this oversized personality that, when coupled with her New York accent and New York attitude, gave her tongue quite a bite. She would say outrageous things and have people at the office laughing and talking about it for days. But she would also say bad things about Charlie, that he was boring and useless and no fun. She said he didn’t understand her (but then who did). I listened to her on several occasions and yet kept quiet. I didn’t stand up for Charlie and I didn’t encourage her to work on her marriage. I should have advised her to focus on his good qualities, focus on the reasons she fell in love with him and focus on putting more effort into the marriage. Instead I kept quiet. Even worse I laughed at her funny but hurtful comments. Shame on me! Several years later, despite having a loving husband and an autistic son, she left her family behind and moved back east with another man. Charlie was devastated, but because he was a good man who loved his son, he made the best of things. I regret not having done right by Charlie back then but I can’t change things. However, I know in my heart that I can do right by him now…by praying for him to live.

 

Later in the day on Friday, I was buried in work at my desk. In fact, I was staring so hard at my computer and typing away so furiously that I didn’t notice that someone had walked into my office and was standing in front of my desk. When I looked up, I saw that it was Charlie and I was so excited I literally jumped right out of my chair to go give him a hug. I was so happy to see him and surprised because he actually looked good. He said, “Hi Joe. I just wanted to stop by to see you for a moment and thank you for your prayers. I have to continue chemo treatments for three more months, but guess what….I’m cancer free!”

 

Hearing those words, I literally got goose-bumps all over my body. My heart was filled with joy and I couldn’t stop smiling all day! I know some people will say that my prayers have nothing to do with Charlie being healed from lung cancer. But that doesn’t change the fact that this time… I did right by Charlie…and I have absolutely no regrets about that!

We all have regrets because we all make mistakes,

but life doesn’t stop when we make a mistake.

We can use our mistakes to learn and grow and become

“living proof” that people can change for the better!

                                                                                  ~ Joseph Allen Thrailkill