Pillow Talk

September 9^th, 2004 – This is my tenth night in a row sleeping on a beat-up old metal cot. I roll onto my side and look over at my wife. The smells of a hospital room are all around me and there are machines humming, a heart-beat monitor beeping, and multiple IV’s sticking out of her arms. There is also a big ugly chest tube poking out of her side. It looks like somebody drilled a hole into her and then pushed the tube into her lungs. Wait… it doesn’t just look like that, that is exactly what the doctor did! It looks ugly and painful because it is, and yet, she has never looked more beautiful and never been more precious to me.

I rolled off that cot and walked over to the side of her bed. I got down on my knees and begged one more time, “Dear God, please don’t let her die. Please help her, God. She is a wonderful woman, a good mother with three young children to raise. You know she is bold, and you know she is strong, but she needs you now more than ever. And I need you God, now more than ever! I will do whatever you want, Lord, just please don’t let her die.”

The tears started again, my sadness becoming so overwhelming that my body shook with despair. I didn’t even try to stand up, just crawled back and collapsed into that stupid little cot. My heart was aching as I looked over at her sweet little face, etching it permanently into my memory, fearing the worst but trying to have faith that my prayers would be answered. As I reminded myself how important faith is, I noticed something strange about her pillow. It had funny littles wrinkles on the side of it that almost looked like a word. I stared at it for several minutes and decided it wasn’t a word, it just looked like two letter B’s. I closed my eyes and tried to relax but I couldn’t sleep. I rolled over and gazed at her face again and there were those two little B’s staring back at me. I smiled just a little thinking those wrinkles should be D’s because she has always been my beloved “Debby Dollface”. But they weren’t D’s, they were B’s. What am I supposed to do with that God? Are you trying to tell me something?

September 11^th, 2004 – Two day later. The doctor just pulled the thick chest tube out of her side. I could tell it really hurt her, but she didn’t cry out. In fact, she was smiling because the doctor had just given us good news! She was finally out of danger and might be going home soon. She was released that afternoon and when we got home, I put her straight to bed, our bed, with her head resting on her own pillow. I was so happy to have her home I couldn’t sleep. I just kept staring at her face and thanking God in my heart. But I also couldn’t stop thinking about those two little B’s that were outlined by the wrinkles in her hospital pillow. I know it might seem silly, but I believe that we humans are given signs at times in our lives that have meaning. Signs, symbols, pictures, thoughts, whatever you want to call them, but they’re there, and they have meaning if we are willing to take the time to figure it out.

December 25^th, 2006, Two years later – When you have a big family, Christmas time is always a wonderful time and this year is no exception. My wife is healthier than she has been for a long time and my kids seem happy and well adjusted, despite enduring all of their Mom’s health issues. As we sat down for Christmas dinner, I thought back to all that hospital time in 2004 and remembered the 70-day journal I wrote during that time period. I wrote it because I was trying to keep my mind off my wife’s illness, and I was also trying to pass along some “life lessons” to my kids. Writing that journal was therapeutic for me and kind of fun. As I thought back on it, I also remembered the pillow with the little B’s, and it hit me! It took me two years, but I finally figured out what God was trying to tell me! I took action the very next week.

January 8^th, 2007 – I wrote and published my first ever “Monday Message” today and sent it to my children, family members, and a few dozen friends. I explained to them that God has blessed me my entire life in at least eleventy-thousand (my youngest daughter’s expression) ways and I want to give back for all the grace He has shown me. So, I have decided to start trying to write thought provoking stories wrapped around things that happen in my life, bold stories that will perhaps inspire people, remind them of the important things in life, and hopefully draw them a little nearer to God.

August 24^th, 2020 – I wrote and published Monday Message #500 today, which incidentally now goes out to over 500 individuals each week and has over 26,000-page views on its blog. I never even imagined I would live long enough to create 500 unique Monday Message stories, let alone be bold enough to share my personal faith with so many people. To me, it has been a blessing because it keeps me focused when things are going right and picks me up when things are going wrong. It’s the least I can do to thank God for all He has done for me.

And to think it all began when I realized what those two little pillow B’s meant… Be Bold!

Debby, Joe, Andrew, Nikki, Andie, Penelope, Jack, Colin, Cameron, Shellsea, Brooke, Zac

Be bold in your faith and faith will simplify your life.

~ Joseph Thrailkill