A Different Approach

This is different. In fact it’s not a Monday Message at all, it’s a letter to a friend. A friend who is suffering deeply.

Dear William,

I have been wanting to write to you for the past two weeks. But I couldn’t find the right words.

The horrible things that have happened to you and your family are beyond comprehension. I know you must have been scared out of your mind!

Your wife disappearing, rolling her vehicle with your two small children inside, her despair, her lack of communication. Having to go to court to get temporary custody of the kids, another car wreck, money missing. And the list goes on and on. You said your life feels completely upside down. An understatement for sure!

But the way you have handled things is absolutely amazing to me. You took a different approach than most people would have. In your letter to me, you described all the horrible things that happened and then told me about three events that happened that felt miraculous to you. Events that you believe were a sign of God’s love in the midst of the storm. And you ended the letter sounding strong and hopeful, saying, “With God I have nothing to fear”.

I just want you to know that when I read your letter I was shocked, and yet so inspired because your approach to an extremely difficult situation was so different. It was based on faith, hope, and love. Faith creates the foundation, hope sustains us in difficult times, and love is the guiding principle that binds all three. You, my friend, exhibited all three of those virtues at a time when most people would have crumbled. Thank you for sharing your story with me and for reminding me that God also takes “a different approach” in that He always stands by us when we need Him most. Bless you.

Your friend, Joe

Good For The Soul

I grew up on an avocado ranch in rural San Diego County and absolutely loved it. Evey day during the summer months I would hike the hills, swim in the ponds, and scout for squirrels, rabbits, and snakes. I truly connected with Mother Nature and loved being outdoors. I think that’s maybe why I also love playing golf so much. The smell of the morning dew on perfect green grass and the beautiful tall trees reaching up through wispy white clouds as if attempting to touch heaven, makes me feel like my soul has its own little personal piece of heaven.

My wife grew up a lot like I did, playing outdoors from morning till night. She discovered softball as a little girl and played it all the way through high school. She also fell in love with swimming and would put in hours at the pool swimming laps over and over again to her heart’s delight. She became an extraordinary swimmer and still is. In fact, when I married her I promised her I would build her a beautiful home with a large swimming pool, and I did. And she loved it!

To this day, I still play golf and enjoy it more than ever. It’s where I’m most at peace. Sadly though, due to a recurring medical condition, my wife had to give up swimming about five years ago. It was devastating to her and robbed her of her own little personal piece of heaven. It broke my heart to see her have to give up something she loves so much. I found myself praying for her condition to change and wondering why it is that bad things have to happen to such good people.

That’s a question a lot of us ask when bad things happen. A question that is not easy to answer.  And trust me, I don’t have the answer. But I do have faith, and my faith tells me that although I may not understand why everything happens, God does, and God always does what is best for us. So I do my best to keep that perspective at all times.

Two months ago, my wife found a new doctor, a specialist, who recommended a new type of medicine for her condition. She has been taking it for a while and now and decided to try swimming again. She was excited and scared, but yesterday as I watched her swim all four different types of strokes, barely rippling the water, I practically cried. She is beautiful out of the water, but in the water she is absolutely glorious! Later in the evening I wrapped my arms around her and told her how happy I was to see her swimming again. Her simple reply, “It’s good for my soul.”

Life is like swimming; sometimes you hit a wall, turn around, and just keep going. 

                                                                                  ~ Anonymous                                                  

People Are Not Perfect

My wife and I had dinner with another couple on Friday night. They’re really close friends of ours that we haven’t seen for a while, so it was nice to spend time with them in person. And of course the first thing Steve asked me was, “How’s life been treating you?”

I thought about that question for just a moment and then answered him honestly. “My life is really good. I feel blessed in so many ways I can’t even count them all. So yeah, life is great!”

But as I said that I thought about something that had happened earlier that day. I lost my temper, really lost it, and yelled at someone. I haven’t done that in years, and it was a complete stranger, a young person who worked at a store. I use the term “worked” loosely because although she saw me standing at the cash register, she ignored me despite glancing over at me multiple times. After 10 minutes I started to get upset and after 15 minutes I was really frustrated, and after 20 minutes, I totally lost it and yelled at her to get her attention.  

I left that store really angry. My wife had been waiting in the car for what should have been a quick five minute stop, so when I got back to the car she immediately asked me, “What happened?” I was so mad I could hardly get the words out. I apologized for keeping her waiting and then told her about the really bad experience I just had with some “stupid, %&*#@, idiot”.

When I got home, and had time to think about it, I felt like a real jerk. Which is exactly what I am, “a stupid, %&*#@, jerk” for getting so angry at a young person who probably hasn’t been trained properly. For a moment in time, I forgot to count my blessings. To be thankful for my family, my home, my job, my health, and the hundreds of other good things going on in my life. I forgot to be thankful and chose to be angry.

The next time I feel myself getting angry, I’m going to remember that incident. My importantly, I am going to remember to have more patience, because people are not perfect… especially me!  

 

Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one. 

                                                                ~ Benjamin Franklin                                                  

Drink Up

On Tuesday morning I woke up feeling miserable. I was still really tired, my head was hurting, and I couldn’t remember anything about the night before, which I am sure is completely my own fault. Plus I had this sharp mystery pain pulsating behind my left knee, which I’m sure was also my fault as well.

But the previous night was a complete fog bank, and I knew it wasn’t going to lift anytime soon. So I stood up and tried to walk it off. The more I walked, the worse I felt, and what the heck is causing that throbbing pain in my left leg?!! After a cold shower and two large cups of hot black tea, my head still hurt, and my left leg felt like I was plugged into an electrical outlet. WTH!!!

After two hours of torture I finally drove to a nearby urgent care. I told the Doc about my mystery pain, and he asked me what I did the day before. I had to think about it, but then mumbled something about swimming in the morning, working in the field at my job for 5 hours in the afternoon, and then playing catch at a baseball field with one of my sons. His next question was, “Were you drinking yesterday?” I answered, “Just a few beers, Doc”, which was probably not totally accurate, and his immediate response was not what I wanted to hear. “I think you have a serious drinking problem!”

Ouch!!! Those were not words I wanted to hear. “But Doc”, I protested… and he cut me off saying, “Let me explain something to you. Do you realize you’re over 70 years old? Do you realize how active you are and that it has been over 90 degrees outside every day this week? Your problem is you don’t drink enough!” (Music to my ears!) “Water”, he said. “Oh”, I said. “You are displaying the classic symptoms of severe dehydration. Don’t you know you should be having at least 90 ounces of water a day? No wonder you’re in a fog and your body is cramping up.” As a glass half-full kind of guy, I responded immediately with, “Sure Doc, I think I can probably fill that prescription all by myself.”

And that got me thinking… Being thirsty isn’t a good thing. But sometimes we find ourselves thirsty in a different way. Thirsty for love, thirsty for friendship, thirsty for acceptance. If you find yourself thirsty, and your glass is half empty, maybe try seeing a doctor, better yet speak to the Divine Physician, who once said, “It is not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick.”

Then He said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”

                                                                                        ~ Luke 17:19                                                     

Catch This

The MLB Baseball season is heating up! The All Star Game is over now, trades are being made throughout Major League Baseball, and teams are gearing up to make a run for the playoffs. I love this time of year, especially watching baseball and rooting for my hometown LA Angels. And partly it’s because growing up my Dad and I would always play catch in the front yard and have great conversations about everything from baseball to God. I miss my Dad, and I miss playing baseball… in more ways than one!

Let me explain. I’m a workaholic for sure, but in my defense I love my job and I enjoy my relationships with my customers and vendors. Sometimes though, I let it get in the way of other things I love even more, like family, friends, and fun.

For years now I have been working on Saturday mornings with my son who lives close to me. We always start early and work really hard doing light pole inspections all over San Diego, OC, LA, and Palm Desert. It’s hard, strenuous, physical work, but we work really well together and have completed large projects at many of the most iconic properties throughout Southern California.  And every time we get ready to head out to a job I ask him to bring his baseball glove. Mine is always underneath my back seat. Unfortunately, it just sits there because we are so busy and get so tired that by the time we are done working, we just never get around to playing catch.

This past Saturday the same thing happened once again. And I realized that if I don’t set aside special time for the things I love, and the people I love, that time will never come.

And that got me thinking… Sometimes the best conversation is a game of catch! 

Baseball was, is, and always will be the best game in the world to me.

                                                                    ~ Babe Ruth                                                     

In All That You Do

“Dear Lord, may the actions of my life… forever reflect my love for you.” Those were the last words I wrote two months ago as I completed the last Monday Message I would ever write, Monday Message #700.

What started out as a 70-day Journal turned into more than 17 years of writing Monday Messages. And  I thought perhaps it was time to consider putting down the pen. It was becoming more and more difficult to come up with new stories, new ideas, new life lessons to write about. Plus, it’s a lot of work because it takes time, it takes energy, and it takes a lot of thought.  

Well, for two months now I have “taken a break”, but something just doesn’t feel right. When I woke up this morning, I took a moment to reflect on why I started writing Monday Messages in the first place. It was to pass on to my children life lessons I had personally lived in the hope that it might remind them about the important things in life, such as faith, family, and friendship. And after expanding my reach over the years to hundreds of people, and getting positive feedback, I realized that we all need a little reminder now and then to focus on the important things in life.

Which includes me! I too need a reminder now and then that the world does not revolve around me. That reminder came this morning when I opened my Max Lucado Study Bible. I was reading about King Solomon and how he built the most amazing temple on earth in order to honor God.

And that got me thinking… What have I done lately to honor God? Well, let’s see. I haven’t built a temple, but I have been working at my job more than usual. I haven’t gone to church, but I have been playing more golf than usual. And I haven’t driven to San Diego to take care of the Battle Mountain Cross, but I did drive to the Orange County Fair yesterday for a ton of fun.

Which led to a question I had to ask myself… Are my actions reflecting my love for Christ, or are they a reflection of my love for myself? Hey, that’s a good idea for a new Monday Message!

Ask God to help you honor Him in all that you do.

                                                                         ~ Advice from Pastor Max Lucado                                                     

I turned 70 a month ago and ever since that celebration, I have found myself praying more than ever. Probably because there are so many bad things that have happened in my life since then.

The first thing that happened was that the Foreman for my company, who is a very physically fit young man, had a heart attack. A very serious widow-maker heart attack that nearly took the life of someone who isn’t just an employee, he’s a close personal friend. Second was that my wife caught a cold, that turned into pneumonia, which then settled in her one bad lung, making it extremely hard for her to breathe. Which then resulted in seven doctor and/or hospital emergency room visits within a 3 week period scaring the hell out of both of us. Third was that at the same time as those things were happening, I had cataract surgery. Cataract eye surgery usually goes well, but my right eye did not respond properly and stayed swollen and inflamed for more than 10 days making it difficult for me to drive, let alone do the work of two people, and more importantly making it hard for me to take care of my wife.

At one point, in the early morning hours just before dawn, I found myself driving north on the 405 freeway heading for a pole inspection project in Cypress. The sun was starting to peek out over the top of the mountains, and as is my usual custom, I began to pray as I drove. Hands clasped at the top of my steering wheel, head spinning as I thought about all the things I wanted to ask God to help me with. When all of a sudden the tears started. I’m still not sure why, but I think the stress was just more than I could take. I wanted to ask God to take away all my worry, all the pain, all the stress, and heal my wife, my friend, and myself. But the words never came out.

Instead, as the sun hit my windshield and reflected off of the wedding ring on my clasped fingers, I began to reflect on the entirety of my life. I have a beautiful, loving, and amazing wife. Four accomplished adult children that I am so proud of. Seven grandchildren that bring me great joy. A business that is steadily growing with customers and vendors that are as passionate about doing a good job as I am. And a Cross that I helped install, on the top of Battle Mountain in San Diego, that will forever remind me that there is nothing that can’t be done if your faith is strong enough.

My prayer changed. Instead of asking for God’s help, I decided to thank God for all the awesome blessings he has bestowed upon this humble steward, who fails more than he succeeds, but whose faith will never fail. My prayer was simple. “Dear Lord, may the actions of my life… forever reflect my love for you.”

God is in the hearts of all, and they that seek shall surely find Him when they need Him most.

~ Louisa May Alcott