Relationships

My two favorite sports are baseball and golf, and they were both on display in a big way yesterday. As much as I love to play both sports, watching them being played can be equally inspiring and thrilling, especially when they exhibit the rollercoaster of ups and downs that life often brings to each of us.

I watched the FedEx Cup “Tour Championship” final round first yesterday. Two of my favorite golfers, Scottie Scheffler and Jon Rahm, who are #1 and #2 in the world were supposed to win, but both fell behind on Sunday. Instead, a young 25-year-old Norwegian, named Viktor Hovland, playing brilliantly, fought his way to the top of the leaderboard and ended up winning. When Viktor was interviewed after winning the biggest prize in golf, all he could talk about was what a great “team” he had including his caddie and coaches. He mentioned how those relationships make all the difference.

When I watched the Little League World Series, a local team from California was playing against an international team from Curacao. The team from Curacao was at the Little League Championship Game last year, and almost won it, so they were heavily favored having several returning stars on their team. But the El Segundo California also had some stars of their own including Louis Lappe, a strapping 6’-1" tall 12-year-old who could really hit. California got out to a huge lead at 5-1, but Curacao managed to get a grand slam in the 5^th inning to tie the game. Unfortunately for them Lappe stepped up to the plate in the bottom of the 6^th inning and crushed a walk off home run to win the game for El Segundo. When interviewed after the game, 12-year-old Lappe spoke about the great relationships between all the players on his team, including his coach. As he spoke, his coach was crying his eyes out standing behind Louis, and then grabbed him and hugged him tight.

And that got me thinking… I have some great relationships in my life, but I don’t always give them the credit that they are due. I think I need to make the effort to give them a huge hug too!

Shared joy is a double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow.

~ Swedish Proverb

Being Led

When I was young, I was lucky to have a loving father who was very wise. He would often give me advice and as I look back, I see something interesting. When I was a young child, I listened to my father’s advice and followed it without hesitation. When I was a teenager, I only listened to his advice some of the time. And after leaving home as a young man, I stopped asking for his advice altogether, which led me to make a lot of painful mistakes that robbed me of my joy.

Why is it so hard for most of us to listen to the advice of others? Especially when the advice comes from someone who loves us. And what if the advice is coming from our heavenly Father? How can we recognize that it is happening, and how do we really know we are being led in the right direction? That’s a question my wife posed to me recently after we came home from spending time with a friend we hadn’t seen in a while.

The friend I speak of is someone who has lived a good life and has always been a good person. He treats people with respect, has been very successful in business, and has a ton of friends. And yet he has always seemed to have a lot of stress and worry in his life. Recently, he told us he connected with God on a much more personal level, and now believes he is being led by God. He was happy and smiling when he told us, and he seemed more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him. Happy, smiling, relaxed, and very excited about the new direction in his life. Just listening to him made my wife and I smile because his passion and enthusiasm were infectious.

And that got me thinking… We won’t always know if the advice we are being given is good advice or not. But if we consider the source, such as a loving spouse, a wise mother or father, or especially our heavenly Father, and if we listen with an open mind powered by a loving heart, we just might become infected… with joy!

God enters by a private door into every individual.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ordinary to Extraordinary

Ever have a bad day, or maybe even a bad week? You know, where everything seems to go wrong, problems keep popping up, people keep disappointing you, a friend lets you down, your boss blames you for something you didn’t do, and even your dog snubs you? It happens. It happened to me last week. 

When that happens, it’s easy to get sad and think the world sucks. But just when you think life stinks, somebody will surprise you. It happened last week. It happens a lot! Two examples:

My wife and I went to visit a friend we hadn’t seen in a very long time. He lives out of town but has a beach house here in Orange County. He cooked us hamburgers, mixed up some great margaritas, and we talked for several hours while the sun set over Catalina Island. On the way home, my wife noticed he venmoed her a very generous donation for her charity. She didn’t ask for a donation, in fact, quite the opposite. She mentioned how well her charity was doing.

This past Saturday night was our family’s quarterly “Poker Tournament”. For years we would meet in person to play poker, but since we now have family living in Washington, Colorado, and Nevada, we play poker online. It’s really fun and the winner usually gets around $250-$300. My wife’s brother almost always joins in. Although speaking of “life stinks”, he lost his wife to Covid about a year ago and as you can imagine, has had rough go of it ever since. Her brother ended up winning the Poker Tournament Saturday night, but instead of accepting the trophy and the money, he donated the money to my wife’s charity.

And that got me thinking… If you ever begin to feel like the world sucks, stop for a moment and look around you. You just might find an ordinary person… doing something extraordinary!

Surround yourself with good people and you will surround yourself with positivity.

~ Martin Luther King

Murphy's Law

Have you ever gone to the car wash and spent a lot of money to have your car cleaned? When you’re done your car looks good, and it feels good to drive it! But then of course, a couple days later it rains and turns your beautiful car into a rolling clump of muddy muck.

That situation has a name. It’s called, “Murphy’s Law” … Whatever can go wrong will go wrong!

A couple of days ago, I spent a lot of money to have the carpets cleaned at our house. And then…

Why do I appear happy, you ask? Because at my age, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected and embrace it with a smile, which by the way, really pisses off old Murphy!

      The effort of trying to save a falling object by catching it will always cause more destruction                                   than if the object had just been allowed to fall unobstructed in the first place.                                               ~ Murphy’s Law #16   

Top 20 Murphy’s Laws

 

1.     If anything can go wrong, it will.

2.     Nothing is as easy as it looks.

3.     Everything takes longer than you think.

4.     Doing it the hard way is always easier in the long run.

5.     Your superiors will always think they are better than you, despite the law of averages.

6.     The truth shall get you fired.

7.     If you cannot convince people, confuse them.

8.     If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk a lot less.

9.     Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you do when everything goes wrong.

10. The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction.

11. In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired, or at least avoided at all costs.

12. A knife too dull to cut anything else will always cut your finger like a razor.

13. After your hands have become extremely dirty, your nose will itch.

14. Leftover nuts never match leftover bolts.

15. The length of a minute depends on what you are waiting for.

16. The effort of trying to save a falling object by catching it, will always cause more destruction than if the object had just been allowed to fall unobstructed in the first place.

17. The number of people who happen to be watching you will always directly proportional to the stupidity of the thing you are doing.

18. Things always get worse before they get better.

19. If it jams, force it. Then, if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

20. When you try to prove to someone that a machine doesn’t work, it will always work perfectly.

 

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

I met a young man this week who really impressed me. I found him to be a bit shy, but he was really interesting and actually quite inspiring!

He stopped by our house because he heard about my wife’s charity, which provides suitcases filled with clothing and essential items for foster children. She has it posted on Facebook, Instagram, and all the other social media, so it seems like every week people are stopping by to drop off donations and that was obviously the intention of this young man named Jeremiah.

As he walked up to our house, he was carrying what looked like birthday presents. Apparently, he decided on his own, that it might be nice if some of the items given to the foster kids were wrapped like gifts. Nobody had ever suggested that idea before, and as far as I am concerned, I think it’s a really cool idea! Just thinking about this stranger, taking the time to “gift wrap” donated items for foster kids, totally boosted my faith in humanity. Not that I’ve lost faith in humanity, but sometimes… you know what I mean.

I spoke with Jeremiah for only a few minutes. As I mentioned he was a little bit shy and quiet. But at the same time when he started telling me about wanting to donate to kids who don’t have parents, a home, or anything for that matter… his eyes got wide, his smile brightened, and his passion for helping other flowed from him like water from a busted fire hydrant. His enthusiasm was super sincere and contagious, and that my friends is what defines a loving heart.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you about my soft spoken new friend Jeremiah, because I am hoping he keeps coming over to see us. Just being around him for a few minutes will brighten anyone’s day!

Oh, I almost forgot to mention one small detail. Jeremiah is only 5 years old.

It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.

~ Mother Teresa

Handcuffs and Headaches

For many years (until she passed away) I would make time each week to visit an elderly lady in Irvine. We would always go for a walk around Woodbridge Lake. Pao Chi Chen was in her late 80’s but she loved to walk and be outdoors observing nature. She also loved to observe people as well, but not in a judgmental way. She was a truly caring person with intense insight and exponential wisdom wrought from years of hardship and struggle. She loved people of all races, and they must have loved her because half the people we passed by knew her and said hi to her. Maybe that is why she was always smiling.

Sometimes when we would go for a walk (okay every time we went for a walk) my cell phone would ring. I tried not to take calls because I wanted to focus on my friend, but one time I asked Pao Chi if she ever thought about getting a cell phone. She laughed and smiled and said, “I do not like headaches.” Pao Chi did not own a cell phone, a computer or even a fax machine. She had never been on the internet, never texted, tweeted or emailed. She has never “friended” or “liked” or seen a Facebook page and had absolutely no idea what I meant when I referred to social media, yet she is supremely happy and at peace with the world… and you can see it in her beautiful smile.

That got me thinking this weekend about how much life has changed over the last 50 years. My happiest moments as a child and even as a teenager did not involve an electronic device. One particularly fond memory I have is waking up real early on a Saturday morning and hiking to a nearby lake with my dog. We came over a hill in a heavily wooded area and the wild green grass was so tall that my dog disappeared into it. He started barking at me and we both started running through the wet grass, down the hill, with him jumping up into the air so he could find me as we ran and me laughing at how silly he looked. It was fun and it was funny and yet nobody captured it with a cell phone video. Darn!

It seems like young people today are absolutely handcuffed to electronic devices 24/7. I guess they have to be because that’s the way the world operates now. But are they better off? I’m not sure, but most of the time when I see them, they don’t seem to be smiling. Maybe they have headaches!

I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health and love.  

Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, 

they keep getting a busy signal - and soon they'll forget my number.

~ Edith Armstrong

A Fly On The Wall

I escorted my wife to a special event last week at the 17^th Street Grill in Tustin. It was set up by my daughter Nikki, who is a Deputy DA with the County of Orange. There were about 30 lawyers and District Attorneys in attendance, along with two highly esteemed Superior Court Judges. They were all enjoying appetizers and cocktails on the patio, while jockeying for shade in the 92 degree heat. All of the men and women were dressed up and looking sharp in their work attire. I felt lucky (and comfortable) to be able to wear shorts and a golf shirt because I was basically just a fly on the wall.

The purpose of these monthly events for the OC District Attorney’s Office is to bring attention to, and raise money for, important local charities that serve the community. This particular event was focused on a charity that creates fully loaded suitcases of clothing and essentials for children entering the Orange County Foster Care System. A charitable cause created by my wife and daughter, called “My Own - A Case for Kids”

I’ve never spent time with a group of attorneys, prosecutors, and judges before, so I thought they might be kind of stuffy and seriously intimidating. But what I expected was not what I got. The women were smiling, happy, and super nice. The men were also smiling and happy despite sweating as they carried in dozens of donated suitcases filled with clothes and essentials.

What surprised me most was when one of the Judges got up to speak to the group. She was composed, articulate, and very sincere… and she absolutely commanded the room with her presence. Judge Maria Hernandez spoke about her 10 years of experience in the Juvenile Court System and how tragic it was to see so many young children suffering and traumatized. In fact, she made the statement twice that, “Children that are traumatized, will traumatize… unless we give them the help that they need.” I’ve always pictured Judges as super serious tyrants that hand out jail time to criminals. I never expected to meet a Judge whose obvious care and concern for children practically had me in tears. I might have just been a fly on the wall, but her heartfelt speech touched me deeply and inspired me in two very unique ways.

First, I was wrong to judge judges the way that I judged them. And second, if I ever start feeling sorry for myself, all I have to do is picture an 8 year old little girl who has lost her home and her parents, carrying her only belongings in a trash bag, and I will realize how fortunate a fly I really am.