15 Minutes

Last week I wrote about how people can be annoying sometimes, and I’m sure that includes me as well. But after writing that story, I had two completely opposite experiences that are helping shape me into a better person.

On Sunday my wife and I went shopping at our local grocery store. While we were in the produce department, my wife asked me to find some fresh strawberries while she went elsewhere. As I grabbed the first container of strawberries I saw (because of course I’m not much of a “shopper”) a lady stopped me and said you don’t want those strawberries. I just stood there with a blank stare like, “why are you talking to me?” But she went on to explain how these other strawberries are a better deal. Then she went on to explain about how her coupon cutting helps her save money. Then she went on to explain about which days are the best to shop to get the freshest produce. Then she went on about her grandson, and her bad back… and then she just went on and on for like forever. My wife saw what was happening and yelled over to me that she needed my help, and to hurry. So I told the elderly lady that I had to go and yet as I was walking away she just kept talking like I was still there. I felt bad for walking away, but was glad that my wife saved me because that was 15 minutes of my life I will never get back.

On Monday I went golfing at San Clemente Municipal Golf Course. After my round, as I was putting my clubs in my truck, I heard a loud but friendly voice behind me yell something. “Hey, did you have a good round?”. I turned around and saw this huge young man who was smiling at me. His hair was a mess, and his face was sweating, and he was missing a front tooth, but he was beaming like he had just won the US Open. I explained that, yes I did. I noticed his speech was slightly off, which when combined with the missing tooth, made his grinning smile even more engaging. He kept politely asking me questions and genuinely seemed concerned that I had a good time. He kept talking to me, and I kept listening because I was reminded of the lonely old lady in the grocery store. But this young man was different… in more ways than one. He was so upbeat and never stopped smiling. And he was so excited when he explained that he had just shot 41 for nine holes! I smiled and said, “Wow! That’s a great score on this course!” He then proudly told me how he was practicing for the Special Olympics.

We talked for quite a while, and then he put out his hand and said, “My name is Billy.” I replied, “My name is Joe." Billy said, “See ya Joe!”, and then got in his car to leave. I stood there and waved as an older man drove away with Billy, who kept excitedly waving back at me. But before I got in my car, I thought to myself, that was 15 minutes of my life that Billy "gave back" to me. And that is a lesson well learned!

Never mind searching for who you are. Search for the person you aspire to be.

                                                        ~ Robert Brault                   

The True Story

There are a lot of things in life that can be annoying. Taxes, gas prices, and people for example. But maybe we wouldn’t get so annoyed with people if we had more information… because it seems to me… everyone has a story.

For three weeks now our street has been under construction. Since I can’t drive on our street, I can’t drive home. Which means I typically have to park blocks away and carry heavy groceries and all the stuff that we need back to our house. Talk about annoying!

So last week, there I am carrying groceries and some of my tools down the road when I see a car parked in front of the cones that block off our street. The car is also blocking my way, so I figure it’s some inconsiderate idiot that’s confused by the road block. Instead, I see it’s an older woman behind the wheel. So I ask her if she needs help. She explains to me that she is an 88 year old widow who lives alone and has trouble walking. She said the construction crew put in a special ramp at her house so she could pull into her driveway and they were supposed to move the cones for her, but they must have forgotten. Now I feel like the idiot! So I offered to move the cones for her and then put them back. She was sweet and super thankful and reminded me of my Mom who passed away at 85. I’ll bet at 88 she has a lot of stories she could share if someone would take the time to listen.

Also last week, our new next door neighbors were out on their patio late one night. They were talking and laughing and generally being noisy, which was annoying because I needed to be up early at 4:45am the next day. I didn’t say anything to them or complain about the noise, and I’m really glad I didn’t because I ran into my new neighbor the next day as we were both carrying heavy loads on our way home. He asked me about my wife wearing a knee brace, so I explained how she got hurt a few weeks ago. He then made a comment that it’s always tough when someone we love is hurt or suffering. He then explained how his wife just went through breast cancer treatments including a double mastectomy and yet was doing her best to recover and stay positive. He said, “I try to keep her happy and I am so grateful that she can still laugh and smile!”

And that got me thinking… I too am grateful. Grateful that every person on this earth is different, each one with their own unique individual story. Grateful that they’re sometimes willing to bless me with their personal stories.

The true story of every person in this world is not the story you see, the

external story. The true story of each person is the journey of their heart.

                                   ~ John Eldredge                   

The Start of a Journey

For most people, traveling is fun because the journey often feels like an adventure. In fact, two friends of mine just returned from a journey to the “Great Wall of China” and had a fantastic time. I am in fact on a journey myself right now. However, I’m not actually leaving the country.

Earlier this year, I saw my regular doctor for an annual physical and he ordered some blood work. The results weren’t great, so he sent me to see a cardiologist and a pulmonologist. The cardiologist tested my blood pressure, ordered blood work, and put me through a heart stress test. The results were a little bit alarming. I then went to see a pulmonologist who performed a spirometry test on my lungs and ordered x-rays and a cat scan. Again the results were a little bit alarming. That was three months ago, and I was supposed to go back to my regular doctor for a follow up visit to discuss the “alarming results”, but of course I haven’t found the time to do that. I did, however, start putting my health issues into my nightly prayers.

Six weeks ago I sat down with my wife and together we decided I needed to go on a “Fitness Journey”. Funny thing is I’ve always been fairly fit and not overweight. I’m 5’11” and have weighed 180 pounds for the past 30 years. But I am also, apparently, pre-diabetic with elevated blood pressure, intermittent cardiac arrythmia and very high cholesterol. Fortunately, my wife is a great cook and immediately helped me by suggesting a “Fitness AP” that tracks your calories as well as the percentages of Carbs, Fats, and Protein you need each day. She also recommended I increase my exercise program and start swimming because our bodies are a cherished gift from God, temples that we should take care of in order to honor Him. Smart lady… good advice!

It’s kind of embarrassing to share this information with you, but I’m actually excited about this journey I’ve started! So far I’ve lost 11 pounds, feel stronger, and have more energy. Who knows, I might even end up with a decent set of ABs! More importantly, I am no longer praying for good health. Instead I am giving thanks for the good health I have and a God who is always guiding me in the right direction. And for this journey… I don’t even need a compass or a passport!

Men usually take better care of their boots than of their stomachs.

~ James Lendall Basford   

                     The Philosopher’s Stone, 1882                     

It has been said that the game of golf is a lot like the game of life. I think that is so true when it comes to relating to people… especially strangers.

Four weeks ago I was paired up with a man close to my own age named Jim. I met him for the first time on the first tee and noticed right away that he had a really great golf swing. During the round we talked a little bit about golf, our families, our jobs and after 18 holes I had made a new friend! Jim is outgoing, funny, interesting, and despite being a very good golfer… humble. He never talks about his game, instead he constantly offers up praise for good shots by others. I like Jim and have now golfed with him three more times.

Three weeks ago I got paired up with a stranger named Brandon who was not a good golfer and not fun to be around at all. Throughout the entire round he complained heavily about his bad shots, constantly whining and putting himself down. He kept telling me how bad he was, telling me how he couldn’t possibly hit the ball straight, and wearing me out with his self-centered focus. If he would have paid attention, he would have noticed that the rest of us also hit bad shots, but we would just brush it off and keep playing with a positive attitude. Truth is, I tried to give the guy some praise when he did something right, but he would have none of it because instead of paying attention to our foursome, he was completely and totally focused on his own mistakes.

Last week as I headed down the freeway to go golfing again, I offered up a prayer. “Lord I hope I don’t get paired up with another Brandon. Or if I do please help me to be patient and somehow make it fun for both of us.” Unfortunately, I got paired up again with a rookie golfer named Doug, and when he told me that he had just retired and is taking up golf as a new hobby, memories of Brandon ran through my head. But instead, when Doug hit bad shots, he never complained about them. And when he hit a good shot, I would get excited for him and go out of my way to offer up my praise. I think Doug has the potential to be a very good golfer and I told him so… and when we were done with the round he said something that really caught my attention. “It was really fun to golf with you, and I hope we get paired up again soon.”

After shaking hands with Doug, I almost laughed out loud. “Lord, I love how you manage to teach me things in the most interesting (and funny) ways. Thank you for showing me that self-centered focus can be hurtful not only to one’s self, but also to those around us. And that a little bit of praise, even in small ways, can go a very long way!”

If you want to make a big difference, demonstrate your right relationship with God in even the small ways.

                                                                                        ~ Max Lucado                                

On Purpose

I will turn 71 years old in a few days and find myself asking the same question over and over. Why am I here?

I am basically wondering at this stage of the game… Why did God create me? It’s a tough question because it makes me look back at my life, which then leads to a whole bunch more questions. Like… What have I accomplished that really matters? Who have I helped? Who have I hurt? Why do I still make dumb mistakes when I am supposedly at the age of wisdom? What’s my purpose? Or even more mysterious, why does my wife still say she loves me?

So I gave it some serious thought and came up with a lot of things that might help me find the answer. At the age of 16 I lived on my own in a plywood shack that didn’t even have running water. I quickly learned to be very resourceful and overcome huge obstacles. So… was I put here to teach others how to turn lemons into lemonade? In 1980 I started my first company that grew large enough to have over 100 employees. So… was I put here to help create jobs for people? In 1988 I helped install a huge two-ton 33’ Cruciform Steel Cross on top of Battle Mountain. So… was that what our Creator created me to do? Or is it that I played baseball in Angel Stadium 10 times, making at least that many errors per game, and yet still left the field smiling every time because of  the great teammates I had. So… was I was put here to teach people how to survive very humbling situations by recognizing that friendships are what really matter!  No, I seriously doubt any of those events are it.

But yesterday I figured it out and it doesn’t have anything to do with the events listed above. I was at the grocery store, and I noticed the checker seemed to be in a really sad mood. So I thought I would help him out by bagging my own groceries. Except, I did a crappy job and ripped the first bag wide open because I put too much in it. Then I looked up and noticed the checker was smiling. (Okay, maybe he was laughing at me, because he said, “I got this”.) So when it was all said and done, I told him, “Man you’re really good at your job!” I said that to cheer him up, to lift another human being up when he needed it… and I did it on purpose!

The four most important words in the English language, “How can I help?”

                                                                  ~ Anonymous                                

Better Times

 

I was struggling to come up with a fresh idea for a Monday Message last night. So I spent some time going back and reading through some of my older Monday Messages. I found one written almost exactly six years ago, during a very dark time. Reading it reminded me how much better life is now, and how grateful I should be for better times! 

I hope it helps you feel the same way!

Ask and You Shall Receive

I spent some time on Saturday with a man that I love and care about very much. In fact, I consider myself very blessed because I have so many friends and family members that I truly love and care about. Every single one of them is a unique and special gift from God in their own way.

So on Saturday, we sat down and talked. This young man is at a point in his life where he needs to make a really important decision, a potentially life changing decision. And I felt like he wanted my advice (although he didn’t ask for it - which is another whole Monday Message in itself).

So we talked about his life and all that he has been through. I brought up his younger years when he was always so happy and outgoing, not to mention gifted both athletically and musically. (The opposite of me!) Then we talked about his years of pain and struggle, his dark years when I worried I might never see him alive again. Which brought us to the last six years, a very bright time in his life. A time of health and happiness. A time of hope and promise. And then we talked about this big decision he needs to make and all I could come up with was… “Maybe you should look at the big picture, the long term pros and cons.”

He was quiet for a moment. Then he looked up and said, “You forgot something important that happened in my life.” I wasn’t sure what he meant, but he explained it with a smile. “You forgot to mention that I got baptized!”

Now I was quiet for a moment. I was quiet because I was thinking how could I forget that he got baptized… I was there! How could I forget about all the hard times he went through for so many years, and how he then formed a personal relationship with God and turned it all around. How could I forget that getting baptized was one of the brightest moments in his life. The… life changing moment!

I thought about it this morning and decided to call him and change my advice. “If you trusted your faith in God enough to get baptized, then simply ask God what He thinks you should do. Ask Him for wisdom. Ask and you shall receive.”

Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.

                                                                        ~ Matthew 7:7