Stop Whining

Sometimes I think my job is really hard. Sorry for whining, but here I am at 70 years old, still working 4-5 days a week. I don’t have any salespeople, or any full time employees for that matter. I don’t even have an administrative assistant or an accounting person. So guess who gets to do those jobs. Lucky me! And I have to do those jobs right because the buck begins and ends with me! 

Fortunately, I love the work I do. I get to travel all over Southern California, sometimes to really beautiful and iconic sites, and it feels good to be contributing something positive to the community. But I do get tired sometimes, my hands get all cut up, my back aches, and the traffic can really suck. Sorry, there I go whining again… and that ain’t good. Which got me thinking…

Today is a holiday… President’s Day! A day officially designated to honor and remember the leaders who have shaped the history and future of America.  And although I haven’t been fond of every President we have had during my lifetime, I do think it’s good to celebrate not only the Presidents of our country, but also to celebrate how great our country really is.

The United States is considered a premier global power. We are recognized for our massive economy (approx. 25% of the world total), unmatched military strength, and significant cultural influence through media. But what I recognize and would like to celebrate is that our country is a bright shining beacon of opportunity. I started my first company (related to contracting) in my garage at the young age of 25 with no college education. That company became very successful employing 110 people at 5 different branches throughout Southern California. I started another company (related to distribution) in 2007 that was also successful and rewarding, and I am currently on company #4, which is related to metals inspection. All four have become very successful because I live in America, where there is freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the freedom to start any business you want at any time. I even have the freedom to whine and complain at any time I want. But you know what… I think it’s time to stop whining!

While we are contending for our own liberty, we should be cautious not to violate the rights of others, ever considering that God alone is the judge of the hearts of men.

~ George Washington, September 14^th, 1775

COMMUNICATING AS ONE

My wife and I attended a celebration of life event on Saturday. Mind you, it wasn’t a funeral. It was truly a celebration. A celebration of someone who was an absolutely amazing woman! 

Sara was only 48 years old and left behind a loving husband and two teenage boys. And although she passed on way too young… Sara lives on… in the lives of the hundreds of people who were there to share their memories and express their love and gratitude to a young woman who undeniably gave way more than she took.

I just sat there and watched and listened in amazement. Dozens of people stepped up to the podium to tell you how special Sara was. How much she meant to them. How much love and energy, time and text messages, she would send out every single day just to make sure her family and friends were okay. And I admit it, I was touched to the point of non-stop tears forcing my wife to have to hand me a Kleenex. But I wasn’t embarrassed, I just felt blessed to have been invited to such a special event.

I was invited by Sara’s Father, Bob, one of the best friends I have in this world. And I am truly thankful for his 20 years of friendship and all the great times we had practicing and playing baseball together. But when Bob got up to speak about his daughter, I saw a special side of Bob that I had never seen before, and I could instantly see where Sara got her strength, character, and faith from.

Bob was composed and articulate, funny and yet super sincere, on what was likely one of the hardest days of his life. But what really got me was when Bob spoke to the audience about how grateful he was for all the prayers people sent out for Sara and her family. Bob wanted all of us to know, in no uncertain terms, that those prayers worked… and that they are still working! That may seem confusing since Sara is no longer here on earth. But Bob explained that people’s prayers gave Sara and her family strength at a time when they needed it most and those prayers… well, they’re working still!  

I am positive that Bob’s love for his daughter and passionate words of gratitude touched the hearts of everyone in that room. But I also believe that I witnessed something very special that day. I felt like I wasn’t just seeing and listening to Bob… it was as if father and daughter were there together, communicating as one.

Sometimes the answer to our prayers is to become the answer to everyone else’s prayers. 

                               ~ Robert Brault

What's in Your Wallet

A little over a year ago, my wife and I took a trip to Kauai. We were having a wonderful vacation until I lost my wallet, which meant… no money, no credit cards, no debit card and no driver’s license. Which also meant no way to get on a plane to go home. Super stressful! I prayed that the wallet would turn up and it did. (I was so thankful and happy I wrote a Monday Message about it!) 

Fast forward to this past Christmas. My wife knows I am prone to losing things, so she bought me a very thin wallet with a strong magnet that attaches tightly to the back of your phone. Great idea, and a great gift for a guy like me because now if I lose my phone/wallet, I can track its location.

So problem solved. Right? Not quite. This past weekend I spent hours working at our home in Ladera Ranch getting it ready to rent. Lots of hard work, up and down ladders, inside and outside the house. When I finished I felt great! Unfortunately, upon arriving home I noticed something funny. The wallet was no longer attached to my phone, nor anywhere in sight. I immediately got back in my truck and drove back to our rental home, praying all the way for the Lord to help me find it.

I started with the front yard. Then I searched the back yard, the side yards, the BBQ area, the shed, and both garages. No wallet! So then I searched inside the house, upstairs, downstairs, and every single bedroom, but no luck. At that point I resigned myself to the fact that the wallet was gone. However, I thought about the last place I worked, which was putting shelf paper on the bottom shelf in the pantry. I went back inside, looked around and then knelt down in front of the pantry to look inside. Nothing there. Feeling defeated and deflated, I called my wife to give her the bad news. But as I started to tell her I couldn’t find it, I stepped on something right in front of the pantry. I looked down and it was my wallet! I yelled into the phone, “OMG… I just stepped on it!” She asked me where I was and I explained I am standing right in front of the pantry. But when I was here a few minutes ago, there was no wallet on the floor. She asked, “Well, how can that be?”

And that got me thinking… I pray a lot and sometimes my prayers are answered in very unique ways. Kind of makes me think God has a since of humor as well as a heart full of grace. Maybe He just wanted to remind me that I might be a loopy loser who loses things, but since I never lose my faith, He helps me out. Or maybe He just wanted to remind me that what’s in my wallet isn’t what’s important.

Give thanks even in the worst of times, for it is during those times that our faith makes us whole.

                                                           ~ Grace de Vera                                 

No Regrets

The Holiday Season has ended and hopefully it was a joyous time of celebration for you. It helps to remember the reason for the season, but unfortunately it can also be a time of heavy stress that can easily hinder your hope for peace and solitude. It was like that for me, a lot of joy and happiness spending time with my family. But there were also very difficult, even traumatic things that happened as well. And yet I have so many reasons to celebrate.

It started as a cough and quickly turned into bronchitis. Bad timing for me to be the patriarch of a large family and be sick at Christmas time. But December is known as the start of the cold and flu season, and I definitely felt pretty miserable at times. Then I got word that my sister was extremely ill and hospitalized. She had been sick for a long time and apparently took a turn for the worse. The news sent a wave of emotions through me because, to be honest, my sister and I have never been close. In fact, we haven’t seen each other in over seven years, and she made it clear she didn’t want me to try.

It wasn’t always that way between us. There were plenty of good times when were little kids. So I would often wonder if I should keep trying to contact her. Funny thing is… I was thinking about her 6 months ago and decided on a whim to give her a call. She took my call, which was a surprise, and even more surprising was that we had the best conversation we have had in over 40 years. She was friendly and outgoing, although at one point she started to cry because she said she was so tired of being ill. I tried my best to cheer her up, but I knew her situation was serious, which made me sad. So I simply reminded her that she is loved… by her family, by me, and by God. I don’t know if it helped.

After thinking about it for days, and knowing she didn’t have much time, I decided to go visit her in the hospital. It was three days before Christmas and I had tons to do, but everything inside me screamed at me that I would regret it if I didn’t. So I got up very early the next morning and drove out to a hospital in Menifee. She was in the ICU, and the nurse told me she had been taken off life support, and was unconscious, but that if I talked to her she might be able to hear me. So I held her hand and talked about the good times we had. I reminded her again that she was loved, and then I kissed her goodbye, and left the room crying. She died that evening.

After 70 years of life on this planet, I can honestly say that I have plenty of regrets in plenty of areas. Maybe I should have tried harder to build a better relationship with my sister. Maybe I should have been more patient with her. Maybe I should have done more for her. Or maybe it’s just easy to have regrets if you go looking for them. But what I don’t regret is seeing her one last time and whispering in her ear, God loves you. I don’t know if it helped her, but I know it helped me.

I would rather regret the things I’ve done, than regret than the things I haven’t.

                                                                           ~ Rory Cochrane                                 

Once In a While

Just a quick funny story from last week...

I never saw the car coming and didn’t hear anything either. I was just walking along when all of a sudden, “Wham!” My feet went out from under me and whatever hit me from behind tore a shoe right off my foot! I went flying, hit the ground hard, and so did my cell phone.

It took me a few seconds to gather myself and turn my head to see what hit me. What I saw was a shock to me and it surprised me so much I started to laugh. Yeah, I was a little banged up, and my heel was bleeding, and my phone was missing, but the vision in front of me was so hilarious I just couldn’t stop laughing long enough to get up.

Eventually a man came running over, apologizing, and offering to help me up. But it wasn’t the man who ran me over. It was his two little boys about 7 or 8 years old motoring through the mall in a toy car, apparently at full speed, and also apparently unaware of what or who was in front of them. The look in their eyes after they hit me was sheer terror, kind of like the look on the face of that kid in “Home Alone” after he attempted to shave and apply cologne. And by the angry demeanor of the large man who was apologizing to me, I could see why they were staring at him and not me.

The angry man and his equally angry wife both started to yell full volume at those two boys. They probably figured they were going to get sued for killing an innocent old man walking through the mall. But after a minute of listening to them yell at their sons, I stopped them. I then turned to the two boys and said, “Listen guys. It was an accident and accidents happen. I’m okay and I know you didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Just please be more careful in the future. No response, but their faces did seem to regain a little color.

Anyway, after spotting my phone, I started walking away. Unfortunately, I heard Mom and Pop still going off on those little kids. I just shook my head and thought, “If I ain’t mad, why are you?”

So you’re probably wondering why I called it a “funny” story. Well, I didn’t mean funny like ha, ha! I meant “funny” like odd! Here I am bleeding and banged up, and yet I’m feeling sorry for the little varmints that did it to me. Maybe that’s not odd though. Maybe that’s just me remembering some of the mistakes I made when I was a kid. Don’t we all need just a little forgiveness once in a while!

Forgiveness is a funny thing.

It warms the heart and cools the sting!

~ William Arthur Ward

Somebody Call A Doc

As a young man, I was physically active and worked out on a regular basis. I was blessed with good health overall, but I also made a point to eat right and maintain a healthy weight. Despite those efforts, though, at my age now I find myself needing to see a doctor a lot more often. Which, with Thanksgiving approaching, got me thinking about how grateful I am for all the different doctors and nurses that have taken care of me over the past 10 years, especially Dr. “Doc” Chen.

Last week I went to see “Doc” with a laundry list of aches and pains and crazy strange things that were hard to describe. Fortunately for me, Doc Chen is the most patient doctors I have ever known. He listens carefully to my questions and then asks a lot of important questions on his end. He never rushes me and never fails to compliment me for working hard to stay in shape at 70 years old. I always leave his office feeling better than when I arrived!

After seeing “Doc” and asking him a lot of questions, I got the answers I needed to solve a lot of my issues. But before leaving, “Doc” asked me if I had any more questions. I thought about it, and I thought about Thanksgiving, and then I said, “Yeah, I forgot to ask the most important question of all. Have you been out golfing lately?”

He laughed a little and them got a serious look on his face. He said, “Yes, we talked about golf last time you were here, and yeah, I told you I was going to start golfing more often. But you know, we’re short staffed here, and low on nurses as well. And busier than ever. So it’s really hard to get time off.” I waited a minute and then said, “Okay Doc, you done with the excuses?” He grinned and laughed a little and said, “You know what, you’re right. Sometimes I feel really worn out and when I do find the time to golf it really helps.” So I said, “You want me to write you a prescription for a round of golf? Because it sounds like the right medicine!” He laughed and as he shook my hand he said, “I’m going to play golf next week and then text you and tell you all about it when I’m done.” My reply, “And I promise to text you and let you know if your medicine is working for me!”

I’m no doctor but one thing I know for sure... “Thankful” should be a verb that includes action, not just good wishes.

 

Thankfulness is as important for feeding your soul

as eating is important for feeding your body.

~  J.L.W. Brooks 

All Is Not Lost

I once heard a famous psychologist on the radio say, “Hope is simply delayed disappointment”.  I am not a psychologist, but I respectfully disagree. Furthermore, I believe that hope is a form of optimism that is better defined as,  “A desire for a certain thing to happen”. And it’s that desire… that often leads to action… which can then often lead to the desired result. Here are two examples.

Several weeks ago, my wife got a call from our youngest daughter. She was in a panic because she was at the San Diego Zoo and somehow the diamond in her wedding ring broke off and was missing. I heard my wife say, “Don’t give up hope, maybe you will find it.” Not likely in such a crowded place packed with strangers. But my daughter never gave up hope, and sure enough a stranger found the diamond and turned it into the lost and found. (Now there’s a miracle!)

That very same weekend, my wife and I also found ourselves searching and struggling, hoping to find a lost ring. My wife’s wedding ring! We had just returned from a long vacation in Kauai. But before we left, my wife decided not to take her ring and possibly lose it while swimming. So she asked me to hide it somewhere in our house. Being a man, I of course hid it in the garage. Weeks later, upon catching a late flight home and arriving around 1:30 in the morning, my wife immediately asked me to go get her wedding ring. I went to the garage, got the ring, and gave it to her. Or… at least I thought I did. We were both so tired, I’m not sure what I did.

The next day, Saturday morning, she asked me about the ring. I explained, “I think I went downstairs and got it for you last night.” She looked at me and said, “Okay, so where is it?” Uh oh! My only thought was, I sure hope I can find it! I started with the garage and checked it thoroughly. Then I checked our closet, nightstands, dressers, bathroom and even the kitchen. I I hate to say it, but I started to lose hope.

On Sunday, I prayed. I prayed for help because I didn’t want to be the stupid loser husband who hides his wife’s wedding ring and then can’t find it. Sure enough, God answered me right away. I think He said something like, “Well, I sure hope you find it because I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes if you don’t!” (Gotta love God’s sense of humor!)

Sunday morning I decided it had to be in the master bedroom closet. I took every single thing, including the clothing out of the closet. I even searched the pockets of every item of clothing. When my wife came upstairs, she immediately saw the disappointment in my face. “No luck?” I just shook my head and felt hopeless. Then she asked, what about the metal box where we keep important papers? I answered, “That was one of the first things I checked yesterday. But since I was running out of ideas as fast as I was running out of hope, I decided to check it one more time. All is not lost!

Hope is the thing with feathers –

That perches in the soul –

And sings the tune without the words –

And never stops at all…

                                                                    ~ Emily Dickinson