On Purpose

I will turn 71 years old in a few days and find myself asking the same question over and over. Why am I here?

I am basically wondering at this stage of the game… Why did God create me? It’s a tough question because it makes me look back at my life, which then leads to a whole bunch more questions. Like… What have I accomplished that really matters? Who have I helped? Who have I hurt? Why do I still make dumb mistakes when I am supposedly at the age of wisdom? What’s my purpose? Or even more mysterious, why does my wife still say she loves me?

So I gave it some serious thought and came up with a lot of things that might help me find the answer. At the age of 16 I lived on my own in a plywood shack that didn’t even have running water. I quickly learned to be very resourceful and overcome huge obstacles. So… was I put here to teach others how to turn lemons into lemonade? In 1980 I started my first company that grew large enough to have over 100 employees. So… was I put here to help create jobs for people? In 1988 I helped install a huge two-ton 33’ Cruciform Steel Cross on top of Battle Mountain. So… was that what our Creator created me to do? Or is it that I played baseball in Angel Stadium 10 times, making at least that many errors per game, and yet still left the field smiling every time because of  the great teammates I had. So… was I was put here to teach people how to survive very humbling situations by recognizing that friendships are what really matter!  No, I seriously doubt any of those events are it.

But yesterday I figured it out and it doesn’t have anything to do with the events listed above. I was at the grocery store, and I noticed the checker seemed to be in a really sad mood. So I thought I would help him out by bagging my own groceries. Except, I did a crappy job and ripped the first bag wide open because I put too much in it. Then I looked up and noticed the checker was smiling. (Okay, maybe he was laughing at me, because he said, “I got this”.) So when it was all said and done, I told him, “Man you’re really good at your job!” I said that to cheer him up, to lift another human being up when he needed it… and I did it on purpose!

The four most important words in the English language, “How can I help?”

                                                                  ~ Anonymous                                

Better Times

 

I was struggling to come up with a fresh idea for a Monday Message last night. So I spent some time going back and reading through some of my older Monday Messages. I found one written almost exactly six years ago, during a very dark time. Reading it reminded me how much better life is now, and how grateful I should be for better times! 

I hope it helps you feel the same way!

Ask and You Shall Receive

I spent some time on Saturday with a man that I love and care about very much. In fact, I consider myself very blessed because I have so many friends and family members that I truly love and care about. Every single one of them is a unique and special gift from God in their own way.

So on Saturday, we sat down and talked. This young man is at a point in his life where he needs to make a really important decision, a potentially life changing decision. And I felt like he wanted my advice (although he didn’t ask for it - which is another whole Monday Message in itself).

So we talked about his life and all that he has been through. I brought up his younger years when he was always so happy and outgoing, not to mention gifted both athletically and musically. (The opposite of me!) Then we talked about his years of pain and struggle, his dark years when I worried I might never see him alive again. Which brought us to the last six years, a very bright time in his life. A time of health and happiness. A time of hope and promise. And then we talked about this big decision he needs to make and all I could come up with was… “Maybe you should look at the big picture, the long term pros and cons.”

He was quiet for a moment. Then he looked up and said, “You forgot something important that happened in my life.” I wasn’t sure what he meant, but he explained it with a smile. “You forgot to mention that I got baptized!”

Now I was quiet for a moment. I was quiet because I was thinking how could I forget that he got baptized… I was there! How could I forget about all the hard times he went through for so many years, and how he then formed a personal relationship with God and turned it all around. How could I forget that getting baptized was one of the brightest moments in his life. The… life changing moment!

I thought about it this morning and decided to call him and change my advice. “If you trusted your faith in God enough to get baptized, then simply ask God what He thinks you should do. Ask Him for wisdom. Ask and you shall receive.”

Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.

                                                                        ~ Matthew 7:7                                

Stop Whining

Sometimes I think my job is really hard. Sorry for whining, but here I am at 70 years old, still working 4-5 days a week. I don’t have any salespeople, or any full time employees for that matter. I don’t even have an administrative assistant or an accounting person. So guess who gets to do those jobs. Lucky me! And I have to do those jobs right because the buck begins and ends with me! 

Fortunately, I love the work I do. I get to travel all over Southern California, sometimes to really beautiful and iconic sites, and it feels good to be contributing something positive to the community. But I do get tired sometimes, my hands get all cut up, my back aches, and the traffic can really suck. Sorry, there I go whining again… and that ain’t good. Which got me thinking…

Today is a holiday… President’s Day! A day officially designated to honor and remember the leaders who have shaped the history and future of America.  And although I haven’t been fond of every President we have had during my lifetime, I do think it’s good to celebrate not only the Presidents of our country, but also to celebrate how great our country really is.

The United States is considered a premier global power. We are recognized for our massive economy (approx. 25% of the world total), unmatched military strength, and significant cultural influence through media. But what I recognize and would like to celebrate is that our country is a bright shining beacon of opportunity. I started my first company (related to contracting) in my garage at the young age of 25 with no college education. That company became very successful employing 110 people at 5 different branches throughout Southern California. I started another company (related to distribution) in 2007 that was also successful and rewarding, and I am currently on company #4, which is related to metals inspection. All four have become very successful because I live in America, where there is freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the freedom to start any business you want at any time. I even have the freedom to whine and complain at any time I want. But you know what… I think it’s time to stop whining!

While we are contending for our own liberty, we should be cautious not to violate the rights of others, ever considering that God alone is the judge of the hearts of men.

~ George Washington, September 14^th, 1775

COMMUNICATING AS ONE

My wife and I attended a celebration of life event on Saturday. Mind you, it wasn’t a funeral. It was truly a celebration. A celebration of someone who was an absolutely amazing woman! 

Sara was only 48 years old and left behind a loving husband and two teenage boys. And although she passed on way too young… Sara lives on… in the lives of the hundreds of people who were there to share their memories and express their love and gratitude to a young woman who undeniably gave way more than she took.

I just sat there and watched and listened in amazement. Dozens of people stepped up to the podium to tell you how special Sara was. How much she meant to them. How much love and energy, time and text messages, she would send out every single day just to make sure her family and friends were okay. And I admit it, I was touched to the point of non-stop tears forcing my wife to have to hand me a Kleenex. But I wasn’t embarrassed, I just felt blessed to have been invited to such a special event.

I was invited by Sara’s Father, Bob, one of the best friends I have in this world. And I am truly thankful for his 20 years of friendship and all the great times we had practicing and playing baseball together. But when Bob got up to speak about his daughter, I saw a special side of Bob that I had never seen before, and I could instantly see where Sara got her strength, character, and faith from.

Bob was composed and articulate, funny and yet super sincere, on what was likely one of the hardest days of his life. But what really got me was when Bob spoke to the audience about how grateful he was for all the prayers people sent out for Sara and her family. Bob wanted all of us to know, in no uncertain terms, that those prayers worked… and that they are still working! That may seem confusing since Sara is no longer here on earth. But Bob explained that people’s prayers gave Sara and her family strength at a time when they needed it most and those prayers… well, they’re working still!  

I am positive that Bob’s love for his daughter and passionate words of gratitude touched the hearts of everyone in that room. But I also believe that I witnessed something very special that day. I felt like I wasn’t just seeing and listening to Bob… it was as if father and daughter were there together, communicating as one.

Sometimes the answer to our prayers is to become the answer to everyone else’s prayers. 

                               ~ Robert Brault

What's in Your Wallet

A little over a year ago, my wife and I took a trip to Kauai. We were having a wonderful vacation until I lost my wallet, which meant… no money, no credit cards, no debit card and no driver’s license. Which also meant no way to get on a plane to go home. Super stressful! I prayed that the wallet would turn up and it did. (I was so thankful and happy I wrote a Monday Message about it!) 

Fast forward to this past Christmas. My wife knows I am prone to losing things, so she bought me a very thin wallet with a strong magnet that attaches tightly to the back of your phone. Great idea, and a great gift for a guy like me because now if I lose my phone/wallet, I can track its location.

So problem solved. Right? Not quite. This past weekend I spent hours working at our home in Ladera Ranch getting it ready to rent. Lots of hard work, up and down ladders, inside and outside the house. When I finished I felt great! Unfortunately, upon arriving home I noticed something funny. The wallet was no longer attached to my phone, nor anywhere in sight. I immediately got back in my truck and drove back to our rental home, praying all the way for the Lord to help me find it.

I started with the front yard. Then I searched the back yard, the side yards, the BBQ area, the shed, and both garages. No wallet! So then I searched inside the house, upstairs, downstairs, and every single bedroom, but no luck. At that point I resigned myself to the fact that the wallet was gone. However, I thought about the last place I worked, which was putting shelf paper on the bottom shelf in the pantry. I went back inside, looked around and then knelt down in front of the pantry to look inside. Nothing there. Feeling defeated and deflated, I called my wife to give her the bad news. But as I started to tell her I couldn’t find it, I stepped on something right in front of the pantry. I looked down and it was my wallet! I yelled into the phone, “OMG… I just stepped on it!” She asked me where I was and I explained I am standing right in front of the pantry. But when I was here a few minutes ago, there was no wallet on the floor. She asked, “Well, how can that be?”

And that got me thinking… I pray a lot and sometimes my prayers are answered in very unique ways. Kind of makes me think God has a since of humor as well as a heart full of grace. Maybe He just wanted to remind me that I might be a loopy loser who loses things, but since I never lose my faith, He helps me out. Or maybe He just wanted to remind me that what’s in my wallet isn’t what’s important.

Give thanks even in the worst of times, for it is during those times that our faith makes us whole.

                                                           ~ Grace de Vera                                 

No Regrets

The Holiday Season has ended and hopefully it was a joyous time of celebration for you. It helps to remember the reason for the season, but unfortunately it can also be a time of heavy stress that can easily hinder your hope for peace and solitude. It was like that for me, a lot of joy and happiness spending time with my family. But there were also very difficult, even traumatic things that happened as well. And yet I have so many reasons to celebrate.

It started as a cough and quickly turned into bronchitis. Bad timing for me to be the patriarch of a large family and be sick at Christmas time. But December is known as the start of the cold and flu season, and I definitely felt pretty miserable at times. Then I got word that my sister was extremely ill and hospitalized. She had been sick for a long time and apparently took a turn for the worse. The news sent a wave of emotions through me because, to be honest, my sister and I have never been close. In fact, we haven’t seen each other in over seven years, and she made it clear she didn’t want me to try.

It wasn’t always that way between us. There were plenty of good times when were little kids. So I would often wonder if I should keep trying to contact her. Funny thing is… I was thinking about her 6 months ago and decided on a whim to give her a call. She took my call, which was a surprise, and even more surprising was that we had the best conversation we have had in over 40 years. She was friendly and outgoing, although at one point she started to cry because she said she was so tired of being ill. I tried my best to cheer her up, but I knew her situation was serious, which made me sad. So I simply reminded her that she is loved… by her family, by me, and by God. I don’t know if it helped.

After thinking about it for days, and knowing she didn’t have much time, I decided to go visit her in the hospital. It was three days before Christmas and I had tons to do, but everything inside me screamed at me that I would regret it if I didn’t. So I got up very early the next morning and drove out to a hospital in Menifee. She was in the ICU, and the nurse told me she had been taken off life support, and was unconscious, but that if I talked to her she might be able to hear me. So I held her hand and talked about the good times we had. I reminded her again that she was loved, and then I kissed her goodbye, and left the room crying. She died that evening.

After 70 years of life on this planet, I can honestly say that I have plenty of regrets in plenty of areas. Maybe I should have tried harder to build a better relationship with my sister. Maybe I should have been more patient with her. Maybe I should have done more for her. Or maybe it’s just easy to have regrets if you go looking for them. But what I don’t regret is seeing her one last time and whispering in her ear, God loves you. I don’t know if it helped her, but I know it helped me.

I would rather regret the things I’ve done, than regret than the things I haven’t.

                                                                           ~ Rory Cochrane