Just A Thought

As a young man I would often get irritated by people and frustrated by bad things that happened. My thoughts would turn sour if I got stuck in traffic, or if an employee didn’t show up for work on time, or if a waitress brought me the wrong food. When bad things happened, my thoughts would get all twisted up. 

However, I’ve always been a very happy and positive person. So I knew in my head getting angry or frustrated wasn’t good. But at that stage of my life it was hard to control my thoughts and feelings. I didn’t want to think poorly about people, but  when minor and major irritations happen on a regular basis, it can be hard to stay positive.

Fortunately, as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that I do have the ability to control my thoughts and my emotions. Better yet, I’ve learned that controlling my perspective helps me to stay positive and live a happier life.

Let me give you a super simple example. Yesterday I was in a hurry to get something from the grocery store for my wife and get back home. However, the parking lot was really crowded so there was only one spot open near the store. Driving a truck means I usually back into crowded parking spots because it’s easier to maneuver that way. So as I am backing into the only open spot, I see why it’s open. There are two abandoned shopping carts in the way. Not just one lazy person, but apparently two lazy inconsiderate SOB’s couldn’t be bothered to return their carts to the proper return area! (Sorry, that’s the old me.) But seriously, the return area  was only 20’ away!

The old me would have thought poorly of the people who left their carts blocking a parking spot. The new, more mature, more thoughtful me… chose a different perspective. Something good is happening to me! God is giving me an opportunity to do a good deed by moving those carts and opening up a parking spot for the next person headed to the store. That’s the thought I had… you know, just a thought!

I am but one

But I am one.

I cannot do everything,

But I can do something.

What I can do I ought to do,

And what I ought to do,

God helping me, I will do.

~ Anonymous

Simple White Symbol

Nothing on earth lasts. Why am I saying that? Because it’s true. And it’s also because at 71 years of age, I’m starting to realize that the time I have left on this earth is limited. In fact, the average lifespan for an American male is only 79. So if I do the math, that means I only have about 90 months left… if I’m lucky.

So what should I do with those 90 months I have left? I know I want to spend them wisely, which  means spending time with family and friends. But that question also got me thinking… If nothing lasts, what can I leave behind that would be meaningful, profound, or impactful? That’s a deep question!

So I thought about it this morning. Sure, I’ve written over 700 Monday Messages, so that’s something I can leave behind. But I’m not sure if they are truly meaningful to anyone other than me. I’ve also raised four children that I am very proud of, but my wife is the main reason our kids turned out so great. And I guess I could say that starting four different companies that provided jobs for hundreds of people is an impactful accomplishment. But it’s actually the employees that deserve all the credit. And I’ve also spent a great deal of time with the installation and maintenance of the Battle Mountain Cross in San Diego. Unfortunately it is not going to last more than a few more years because it has developed severe rust and corrosion at the base. Like me, I give it about 90 more months.

Thinking about that Cross rusting out sadly solidified the fact that nothing really lasts… But then all of a sudden a light bulb went on! How many people over the past 38 years have driven down the 15 freeway and noticed that huge Cross shining brightly on top of a nearby mountain? And how many of those people were affected in a positive way, and reminded of God’s love, by that simple white symbol? The light bulb going on… that was my realization that there is and will always be one thing that lasts... God’s love!

If you want proof of God’s love, look first at the Cross.

~ Jerry Bridges

The Anvil

We all go through stressful times. What I want to know is why? Why do I sometimes feel like someone is pounding me on the head with a hammer?

I mean, I’ve been through plenty of stressful times in my life, and I do my best to handle it. But the past three weeks have been brutal.

·   At my company we received twenty new Pole Inspection Projects all at once. Good news, right? Except that same day, my Foreman who helps me with most of my pole inspections, suddenly informed me he had a family emergency and had to fly to Fiji. He didn’t say when he would be back. Yikes! 

·  On my way home that same day things got worse. On the 133 freeway, a large landscaping company lost a load of equipment and material out of the back of their truck. I swerved and missed two items, but the third one struck me head on into my front bumper tearing off the lower grill and air-dam section. 

·   Then, the very next day, I got really bad news! Our four-year old granddaughter was in an ambulance on the way to Mission Hospital in severe neck pain. 

Hearing the news about my granddaughter really shook me up. She is only 4 years old and is so very precious to me, as are all seven of my grandchildren. So as I was driving home on the 241 from Corona, I found myself stressing out and asking…Why? Why are all these bad things happening?  

Right then I happened to glance up and spotted a strange sight on top of a hill right next to the highway. It looked like an anvil. Like a giant anvil made of rock with a tiny little rock underneath holding it in place. It seemed strange, but as I thought about it I realized it was the answer to my question. Maybe, when things are tough and stressful, it’s simply because God has put us on an anvil to hammer away the rough edges, reshape our character, and transform us into the person He meant for us to be. I like looking at it that way because picturing God working on me, because He loves me and cares for me, hammered away a lot of my stress!

You cannot go so far that God will not go with you.

~ Muriel Strode

Fruit Bearing

We own a rental home in Ladera Ranch, and I recently went there to do a quarterly inspection. I typically just walk around the outside to make sure the sprinklers are working and the plants and flowers are growing. I also check to see if any of the trees need trimming and sure enough, one of them needed trimming in a big way!

Okay, maybe “trimming” isn’t the right term and maybe “in a big way” doesn’t apply either. You see, the problem with this particular tiny little tree was that it wasn’t blooming or bearing fruit, and it never would. Because it was stone cold dead. Lifeless. Kaput. No Mas. Gonezo!

I stood there and looked at that morbid little mess, and it reminded me that not every tree blooms nor does every tree bear fruit. Which then got me thinking about myself. At age 71 am I still blooming? Am I still bearing fruit? Am I still making a positive difference in this world and most importantly am I still striving to honor God in all that I do… each and every day?

Tough question for sure. I know that this past week I’ve screwed up several times. I failed to answer a phone call from my wife one morning because I forgot to turn on my ringer. (Inconsiderate!) I forgot to drop off some clothes at my daughter’s house because they were in the back seat and I was too focused on getting to the golf course. (Self-Centered!) I also cussed out a driver in a Tesla who was driving too slowly. (Impatient!)

So it’s obvious I have still have some work to do if I want to bear fruit. With that in mind, yesterday I helped my neighbor trim a tall tree in his yard. Then I brought flowers and a card home to my wife to show her how much I appreciate her. And even though I spotted a Tesla driver in my neighborhood driving like a maniac, I didn’t give him the finger. I simply said a quick prayer that he didn’t hurt anyone. So I figure overall it was a good fruit bearing day, especially considering I am not dead, lifeless, kaput, no mas, or gonezo... well at least not yet!

The true meaning of life is to plant a tree, under whose shade you do not plan to sit.

~ Nelson Henderson

Never Miss an Assignment

I passed by a woman on the side of the road in Redlands yesterday, at a freeway offramp, who looked sick… really sick. She had a cardboard sign in her hand, but her head was hanging down, and so was the sign. I couldn’t read the sign but didn’t need to. My eyes could see and my heart could feel her despair by her body language alone. I was wishing I could help her or heal her but drove on instead, feeling sad and bad.

I know what you’re thinking, same thing I was thinking. Another drug addicted, alcoholic loser who will waste the money I give her on the wrong things. But what if that wasn’t the case. What if she was simply sick, or hurt, or suffering, and couldn’t afford a doctor? There’s no way to know her story, but it did get me thinking. Doctors and nurses are so important to this world we live in and always have been. They go to school and study medicine for years incurring huge student loans and then spend most of their time and energy helping and healing others. That point was driven home in my own life recently…

Due to a dental procedure gone wrong, I ended up with a very painful TMJD situation. Which basically meant my jaw on one side was locked up and I couldn’t open my mouth more than an inch without severe pain. An oral surgeon gave me warm compresses and exercises to stretch the jaw muscle, but that didn’t work. So he offered me a very painful and painfully expensive procedure that might (or might not) help. I didn’t want to spend $2K and go through even more pain, so at that point, I found myself very “hangry” to the max.

And then a two-part miracle happened! My wife put a notice on social media in our area asking if anyone had suggestions to fix my jaw problem. And someone responded! A doctor who lives in our neighborhood said he has had great success with solving TMJD problems. I went to see him for 15 minutes at a time, every other day, for two weeks, and my jaw is almost 100% better now. That’s the first part of the miracle. The second part is that he would not accept payment for helping me. He said, “Sometimes God’s love for us only shows up through his people - and it’s my promise to Him to never miss an assignment.”

A good physician treats the disease. A great physician treats the patient with the disease.

~ Sir William Osler, circa 1849

Clothed in Grace

I’ve heard it said that “Clothes make the man”. That’s a clever saying, and I believed it when I was young, but I don’t believe it now. Let me explain…

In 1975, when I was a young 20 year old struggling to find my way in the world, I landed a job with a Lighting Distributorship in Irvine, CA. I started out as a delivery driver. Worked hard and got promoted to Warehouseman. I then studied the lighting products we sold and within a year was promoted to Purchasing Manager.

As  Purchasing Manager, it was my job to purchase all the products that the salespeople sold. I admired the salespeople because the top two salesmen were a lot older than me and made the “big money” in the company. They were also dapper gentlemen who wore nice suits and had the respect of every employee in the company. Without the salespeople bringing in the orders, nobody else in the company was needed. That revelation made me realize that if I wanted to be admired and respected, I needed a nice suit. So I spent most of my next paycheck on a three-piece suit, with a vest and matching tie.

I started wearing that suit to the office once or twice a week and the owner noticed. Eventually I got up the courage to tell him that my goal was to become a salesman, and I was confident that I could do the job. My confidence came from staying up late at night, studying the products and the pricing until I knew it inside out. I also figured that my “new suit” would make me an instant success. I figured wrong!      

The owner gave me a chance by testing me in a sales position for 30 days. During that 30 day trial period, I didn’t sell one single thing. I was devastated, and as I slinked back into my Purchasing role, I had my tail between my legs. Several months later, the top salesman in the company, a true gentleman by the name of Harley Gillette, took me aside for a private conversation. He explained to me that it while it was important to have confidence, and a nice suit might help, what the customers really wanted was someone they could relate to and trust.

I took his advice to heart and ditched the suit for regular clothes. I also started reading books on salesmanship, including a book by Og Mandino titled, “The Greatest Salesman in the World”, which includes 10 scrolls that emphasize that true success comes from developing character, overcoming internal barriers like fear and doubt, and finding true happiness and peace of mind through the grace of God, instead of focusing on wealth. Harley’s advice along with the advice in Og Mandino’s book taught me that if I wanted to be a success in business, as well as in life, I needed to be able to humbly relate to all types of people and treat every single person with dignity and respect.

With a new found confidence based on the biblical principles found in the 10 Scrolls contained in Og Mandino’s book, I asked my boss to give me another try. He was reluctant, but my persistence eventually paid off. (FYI – Scroll #3 – “I will persist until I succeed!”) Only this time, my boss informed that if I failed I would be out of a job!

Yikes… I thought about what my boss said for a few days. Then I decided that if I didn’t believe in myself, then my boss wouldn’t either. So I respectfully told him, “I accept your challenge!” As I ventured out day one in my new role with my new attitude, I was surprised that I didn’t have any fear or doubt… and realized that there was a good reason. Instead of wearing a three-piece suit, I was clothed in God’s grace.

“I will greet each new day with love in my heart”.

          ~ Scroll #1 from "The Greatest Salesman in the World" by Og Mandino

Clean Your Windows

I’ve been writing Monday Messages for almost 20 years now and I usually try to relate them to current events. So when Father’s Day rolls around, it’s been my habit to try to write something related to my Dad. It’s been easy so far to come up with stories because my Dad was such a huge part of my life. He was always teaching me and inspiring me to do my best. But after so many years of stories, I struggled to think of something to write about this year. And then it hit me… right between the eyes!

It has been said that our eyes are the “window to our soul”. But my Dad taught me that your eyes are your “window to the world”. The way we see the world has a tremendous effect on how we feel, think and act. If we see the world and the people in it as harsh and cruel, it’s easy to become bitter and discouraged. But if we look with our eyes and see the beauty and compassion that constantly surrounds us, we can easily feel happy and encouraged.

Here’s a recent example. On Father’s Day, a friend of mine took his young son to Angel Stadium to watch the Angels play the Oakland Athletics. Halfway through the ball game a woman sitting next to them went for pizza and on the way back she tripped and fell down the steep concrete steps. She tore up her shins and scraped her knees and sent the pizza flying. She was bleeding and needed first aid, so immediately several people jumped up to help her. My friend felt so bad for her, he decided to go to the food court and bring her and her family back a replacement pizza. It would be easy to look at the boisterous crowd in a baseball stadium and see a loud, obnoxious, beer drinking, bunch of hooligans. But if we were to look really close through our “window to the world” we might just see compassionate, caring souls who are quick to offer help and generous beyond measure.

I know the world is filled with problems and that there are plenty of bad people out there. But thanks to my father and his awesome advice, I choose to use my eyes to focus on the good that I can see. And although I have to break out the Windex and clean my “windows” once in a while, I can always find something good to focus on. Thanks Dad, for teaching me to use my senses… to make some sense out of this world!

See everything, overlook a great deal.

~ Pope John XXIII