She Seemed Happy

I try not to judge people because I know it’s wrong. But it’s a hard thing not to do sometimes.

For example, last week my wife and I went to the R&D Restaurant at Fashion Island in Newport Beach for lunch. They are famous for their exceptional cuisine, and we haven’t been there in years, so we were really looking forward to it.  Unfortunately, it was super crowded with the all of the high finance and upper-level businesspeople that work in the super tall ivory skyscrapers that encircle Newport Center.

So we thought about it and decided to order “lunch to go”. Like I said, it was really busy, and every table was full, so we waited outside the entrance. I didn’t really mind waiting because the people-watching was undeniably interesting. There was the guy with perfectly groomed hair and perfectly trimmed nails, wearing an expensive suit, but I think he forgot to put socks on. Oh wait, that’s a style, right? And there were numerous young women dressed to the nines, wearing uncomfortably high shoes, carrying uncomfortably expensive purses. Funny thing was… none of them were smiling. In fact, at times it almost seemed like a contest and the stress of “looking best” was getting to them. None of them seemed happy.

But when I got up to stretch my legs, I noticed a woman all by herself. She wasn’t heading into the R&D Restaurant. She was instead busy working in the courtyard next to it. She was an older woman, with a gray ponytail under a gray baseball cap, and instead of a Versace handbag, she had a broom in her hand. She was sweeping leaves off of the courtyard but there was a bit of a breeze, so every time she swept the leaves one step forward, they would blow two steps back. I saw her dilemma, but I also noticed her determination. She swept faster, and she swept harder, and after 15 minutes she finally got all those leaves back into the planter area.

When our lunch was ready we picked it up and headed to the parking lot. As we passed by the ritzy Neiman Marcus Store and the fancy Lugano Diamonds Store with their high-priced jewelry on display, I saw her again. She was emptying a trash can next to the sidewalk. As I walked by, I thought about her work ethic, how even though most of the time nobody notices her, she probably works hard all the time, taking pride in doing a good job. As I walked by, she looked up and smiled. She seemed happy.

There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.

~ William J. Bennet

Better Days

I messed up last week and had a bad day. And it’s not the first time.

It started when I was just a little kid playing with matches. I told my Dad a lie, that it wasn’t me. It felt bad to lie to my Dad, but I was scared and didn’t want him to be mad at me.

As I grew to become a teenager, my sins grew as well. One time, I “borrowed” the neighbor’s jeep when he was on vacation and took it for a quick joy ride. He noticed it had been driven, said something to my Dad about it, but I never confessed. My Dad was a good man, my neighbor was a good man. But I was not a man yet. And that wasn’t the only thing I did wrong as a teenager.

When I finally became a man, with a wife and child, I changed a lot. And so did my sins. My mistakes were now wrapped around things like greed, lust, and jealousy. You know, adult type sins. Bigger sins. Sins that at times, made me very ashamed of myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been what you would consider a bad person. I never intentionally hurt anyone, or stole from anyone, or tried to cause anybody a problem. In fact, I went out of my way to be generous and help others with my time, money, and energy. Still do. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t mess up then and that I don’t mess up now. And when I do, I always think back and ask myself, “Why did I do that?” Knowing the answer to that question is extremely important.

I found the answer to that question one day when I was still in my thirties. I’ll never forget that day, nor the sin that I committed. I was super upset at myself, super sad, and feeling completely alone. So I went for a walk, a very long walk, until I finally sat down on a huge rock on the side of the road. I was in a lot of pain. I felt lost and couldn’t stop crying. I felt so totally alone, but then I remembered what the pastor at our church told us, “We are never truly alone.” So I bowed my head, confessed my sin, and asked for forgiveness. I also prayed for the wisdom and strength to avoid that type of mistake again. It felt good to confess and to admit the reason I messed up. I realized that day that knowing why we make mistakes is the first step to avoiding them. I also realized that I don’t need to be scared that He will be mad at me. The very next day… was a much better day!

And you asked me what I want this year

And I’ll try to make this kind and clear

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
Tonight's the night the world begins again.

~ from the song "Better Days" by the Goo Goo Dolls

LIFE LESSON NUMBER ONE

My two grandchildren who live in Spokane, WA, have been staying with us for the past two weeks as part of their summer vacation. They are 11 and 14, which are fun ages, and just to prove it… we have already been to Wild Rivers, Laser Tag, Disneyland, and of course “In-And-Out” Burger multiple times. My wallet might be empty, but my stomach sure is full! 

We’ve had a lot of fun and we’ve talked a ton, and I have to say that I’ve learned a few things from both of them. For example I now know more about Taylor Swift than I ever thought possible, and I learned that the wrong type of mouse when you are gaming can make you less than swift. But as I learned things from them, I also pondered what can I teach them in return? What one important life lesson could I share with them that might help them the most as they grow into adults and get hit by raging real world reality?

Yesterday, my grandson and I were talking about baseball, and he asked to see my MSBL World Series Ring. I said, “Sure”, happy to show off that big shiny ring and regale him with stories about the thrill of victory. However, I had to think about where it was. I hadn’t taken it out or looked at it for years, but when I finally found it in the bottom of my sock drawer, it gave me an idea for a truly important life lesson.

I had already shared with my grandson the story of my own personal baseball journey. How I sucked at it for 10 straight years until one day, when I made three errors and struck out three times in a row and said to myself… that’s the last time I’m gonna fail! I hired myself a coach, took a thousand ground balls, and hit baseballs until my hands bled, and eventually got good enough to be asked to join a select team of ballplayers headed to the MSBL World Series in Phoenix.

That’s a good life lesson in itself, that practice and hard work can lead to success. But that’s not the important lesson. The real lesson, the most important lesson that I learned from playing baseball, had to do with relationships, not RBI’s. I made friends on my baseball team who will be my friends for life. They picked me up when I was down, and I did the same for them. Many times we went home bleeding, but smiling, sharing a love for the game, and a love for each other. To this day, if any one of my baseball buddies called me and needed my help, I would be there for them faster than a four-seamer down the middle. To this day we still stay in touch, we still love baseball, and we still love each other. Rings can rust and trophies can get trashed, but a true friend is better than a “Double-Double with Animal Fries” any day!

Remember two things, play hard and have fun!

~ Tony Gwynn, Hall of Fame Baseball Player

Long Distance Connections

My wife and I were recently on vacation in South Lake Tahoe, and for the first time in months we were truly relaxing. The first morning I woke up at 5:24am and I realized I am not working - for a change - so my hands were empty. Instead of busy hands, I was staring out the window of a country style cabin with a gorgeous view of Lake Tahoe. The air was clear, the pine trees were tall, and the water was the brightest blue I have ever seen. It was so pretty there I couldn’t wait for my family to wake up and join me for a hike to a beautiful little hidden gem called Lake Angora. 

I felt blessed and happy because about half of my children and grandchildren were able to join up with us. My oldest daughter and her family drove up from Orange County. They have three children plus a new 20-month-old baby daughter who is absolutely overflowing with personality. And my oldest son and his wife and two awesome kids drove almost 900 miles from Spokane, Washington, to join us. We don’t get to see them very often, so we were excited to spend time with them. I mean, we call, and we text, and we facetime with them, but it’s not the same as actually spending time together. Being long distance from the people you love, and friends you care about, can make it hard to feel connected.  

So now that I am back home, I know I need to make the effort to stay in touch with my family and friends. Especially with my grandson who lives in Denver that I only get to see once or twice a year, and my other grandson who lives not too far away in Riverside, but I still don’t see him enough. I love them both and would love to spend more time with them, but I struggle to make that happen. I don’t want to lose my connection with them or my connection with my grandkids in Spokane, nor do I want to lose my connection with so many of my family and friends who have moved away. Why? Because when I think about it, being connected to people I care about brings me a lot of joy!

Not long ago, I wrote a Monday Message where I criticized people for being on their phones so much. But now that I think about it, I’m glad we can have our phones in our hands so that we can use them to talk to and feel connected to our loved ones. But I am also grateful that I don’t even need a phone to connect with God, I just need my two hands empty… clasped together.

Angora Lake

The strange thing about seeing someone for the first time in ten years, is the way they look totally different, just for a second, a split second, and then they look like they always have, as if no time has passed between you.

~ Rainbow Rowell

 

When Life Changes (By Debby Thrailkill)

With a few harsh words, his life changed forever. He hadn’t meant the cursory string of consonants and vowels that slipped quietly past his lips, and unfortunately into the ears of nearby coworkers. It was forgotten instantly, an almost thoughtless moment, as quick as the sting of a bee… the result far more painful.

My friend’s ill-timed utterance cost him a highly valued job at a premier California destination Resort. It was his dream job, one that he competed for and worked hard at for many years. He loved it to his core. And just like that it was gone. For weeks he was devastated, angry at himself, shocked, empty, motionless.

Before this happened, life hadn’t exactly been a bed of roses. He worked tirelessly six days a week at two jobs; The second job provided extra money so that he could afford to keep the coveted lower paying position at the Resort that he loved. And then his father suddenly passed away just as he was on a transcontinental flight to be with his Dad over the holidays. The time meant for a family reunion and celebration… was instead spent in crisis management and grieving.

We never know what tomorrow will bring. My friend certainly never expected this turn of events. I know it’s important to try to help others when they are in need, but after listening to his story, offering support was the best I could do. But then I was pleased to hear that he was taking steps to forge a new path. Although it was an unwanted fresh start, he was bravely holding his head up and beginning to move on. I am proud of him for facing this challenge head on.

We all face great challenges when life suddenly changes. All God given days, every second of them, are the greatest blessing. And knowing you have a friend to listen and encourage you can be important to healing. So remember, when your day is going great, finding time to be a friend will fill your heart, as well as theirs.

If you need me, I am here. If you don’t, I will still be here.

~ Anonymous

Standing Tall

In honor of Father’s Day…

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.

                                           ~ Abraham Lincoln

My Best Work

I was born one month prematurely and have been in a hurry ever since. I guess you could say I’ve always had a lot of energy and maybe that’s why my wife calls me the energizer bunny. I just can’t sit still when I’m at home and always need to be doing something. That’s great for productivity but it isn’t always great for relationships or life in general. However, I have noticed that certain things about me have slowed down in a good way as I’ve gotten older.

Yesterday brought that thought into clarity. I was driving my truck and accidentally hit one of the buttons on the steering wheel. It changed my “view” on my dashboard and brought up “engine conditions”, which is something I have never looked at before. The first thing I noticed was that my total driving hours to date were 908 hours and my total idling hours were 298. Apparently I’m spending nearly one-third of my time just idling. That’s a way higher percentage than I would have guessed and at first it made me think of all the time I’m wasting, and that really annoyed me.

But the more I thought about it, the more it occurred to me that I do my best thinking when I am idling. In fact, when I’m stuck in a traffic jam, I often take a moment to put my hands together at the top of my steering wheel and talk to God. I like to ask Him how he’s doing. I converse with Him, let him know I appreciate his help, and ask Him to watch over my friends and family. And I always end the conversation by listing all the blessings I am thankful for. And when I do that, and realize how truly blessed I am, the traffic issues never seem so bad.

So what am I saying? I guess I am saying that I realize I have a limited amount of time on this earth and it’s good to be productive. But sometimes, when it’s quiet and the world slows down just for a little bit, that’s when I do my best work!

We spend half our life trying to find something to do - 

with the time we have rushed through life - 

trying to save.

~ Will Rogers