Stain Free

There is something seriously wrong with me! And I think I’m going to blame my Dad.

Don’t get me wrong. My Dad was the best man I have ever known, my hero, and I loved him very much. But he had this problem where he constantly spilled food on his shirt. He was always a very good-looking man, clean shaven and usually dressed very sharp. Except, there would always be a small, sometimes hardly noticeable, sometimes very noticeable, stain on his shirt. It never failed.

We used to laugh about it a lot. But he warned me that I would likely get the shirt stain disease too, when I got older. Unfortunately, he was right, and I admit it. I do have the shirt stain disease these days. And I can’t figure out how it happens? I try to be careful and think I’ve gotten myself through a meal okay, until I look down and inspect my shirt and sh*%&*t… there it is!

And this crappy Coronavirus is only making things worse. My wife and I used to go out to eat at restaurants a lot and when I’m sitting properly at a table, I don’t usually get food on my shirt. But for months now, we have eaten every meal at home and a lot of the time I’m sitting in my recliner. And let me tell you, that is a really dumb place to eat a meal if you don’t want to end up wearing it. Just one more reason the Coronavirus is making my life miserable!

In fact, it’s gotten so bad that I now keep a large spray bottle of Oxi-Clean right there on my dresser. Every time I change clothes, I have to break out that stupid spray bottle and use it on my shirt. It’s embarrassing to realize I have been walking around with a noticeable stain on my T-shirt, but fortunately that Oxi-Clean stuff works really well!

And that got me thinking… I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and committed sins that have stained my soul for sure. But I smile when I picture the Sinless One, standing next to me, the sin-filled one, spraying me with his own extra-large bottle of heavenly scented Oxi-Clean. Forever stain free!

Andie's clean T-Shirt says it all!

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: 

take it or leave it. 

~ Buddy Hackett