Turning Point

Easter is coming so a lot of people will soon be thinking about Easter Bunnies and Easter Egg hunts. But Easter is special to me for a different reason. It reminds me of a cross I helped to install on top of a mountain many years ago that became a huge turning point in my life.

In 1988 I was living and working in San Diego and everything seemed to be going in the wrong direction. My personal life was in a shambles and I had nobody to blame but myself. I kept getting more depressed. And the more depressed I got, the more sins I committed. At one point I considered taking down the copy of the 10 Commandments that hung on my wall, or at least crossing off five of them, so I wouldn’t have to think about what a wretched mess I had become.

I knew I had to make some difficult changes in my life, beginning with my marriage. But change is scary and in my case I had a ton of changes to make. I remember praying one night for the courage to change the things I knew I could, and waking up the next day feeling eerily calm and yet somehow very strong. I vowed to change my job, marriage and some of my friendships…and I did so that very same day.

Life became super hard for me at first and really lonely. But later that same week as I was driving up to Orange County to find a new place to live, I heard an interesting announcement on the radio. A small group of volunteers were looking for help to install a cross on top of an historic mountain and specifically needed help with the electrical wiring and lighting. It was right up my alley and would give me something to do that would make me feel good about myself for a change. It would also help me honor God for answering my prayers for strength and courage. I spent the next 6 months climbing that mountain hundreds of times and its kind of funny… but as I carried the equipment on my back up and down that mountain, it felt like a ton of weight had actually been lifted off my shoulders.

I still help to maintain the “Battle Mountain Cross” and will continue to do so for as long as I live. But unfortunately both the Cross and I are looking a little tired and worn out these days. I know I can’t afford plastic surgery for myself, but since the cross is in dire need of a new paint job, our small group of volunteers hired a painting contractor last week to give it a much needed face lift. This was no easy project because there are no roads going up the mountain but the determined crew got the job done beautifully.

Looking back on my life I can see what a huge turning point that was and how much happier I have been ever since. At that time in my life I thought I knew what path I was on and where I was going, but in reality I was lost. I think sometimes God says “Yes” to the path we choose and sometimes God says, “No, this isn’t the journey I have planned for you. I have routed you temporarily through the City of Struggle.” And while the road through the City of Struggle might be tough, at least with God’s help, there is a road!

Things do not change. We change.

~ Henry David Thoreau