Choose Your Battles

Conflict is never a good thing but it’s obviously an inevitable thing for every human being and every animal on this earth at some point. I guess you could say it’s the “nature of the beast” but when it comes to beasts, I think we could learn something from animals if we simply pay attention to their nature.

I read an eye-opening article last week written by a local OC business woman who traveled to Africa on a safari trip. It all started with a leopard, a hyena and a dearly departed Impala. She wrote, “As we approached a beautiful leopard resting in the tall grass, a scruffy hyena fed on the carcass of an Impala nearby. Our guide explained that the leopard had taken down the Impala but the hyena had run her off. I was confused as I assumed that leopard beats hyena hands down in the rock, paper, scissors world of nature. But our guide explained that while the leopard could have succeeded in defending her kill, the hyena’s strong jaws would have likely wounded her in the battle. This leopard has two cubs so if she were to sustain even a minor injury she could lose weeks of hunting ability, potentially threatening her cubs’ survival. This risk/reward strategy was automatically programmed into the leopard’s genetic code so perfectly that the analysis occurred instantaneously, resulting in her decision to let the hyena win – for the moment. Her strategy paid off, as the hyena eventually lost interest and the leopard was able to reclaim her prize and feed her cubs.” The leopard seemingly lost the battle…but ultimately won the war!

Reading that article reminded me of the provision of nature for such wise decision making. And it also reminded me that as a long term business leader, father of four and grandfather of six, that I do not always practice such wise decision making. Many times, especially in my professional role, when I am faced with conflict I don’t always stop to ask myself, “Is this the Impala to die on?”

One part of my problem is that I am a man (a man with too much pride at times). The other part is that society does not celebrate men who surrender. We prefer to applaud bravery and bold action believing that the battle goes to the quick and the strong. Well, the battle is not important, the war is…and that’s the lesson of the leopard.

Perhaps we are too many generations removed from the inherent capacity for instinctive risk/reward analysis, but we can learn to reclaim that lost art if we work at it. I grant you that today’s world is far more complicated and far more crowded and that everyone and everything is constantly clawing for our attention. But that doesn’t mean we have to respond to conflict with instant action. I am learning that if I take a moment to think things through and envision the results of my actions before I act…there might not even be a need to go to war! 

You do not lead by hitting people over the head. 

That’s assault, not leadership.

~ Dwight D. Eisenhower