Growing in Love

It's springtime again, which reminds me that every person born on this earth is born with a desire for love. It’s an innate desire and a gift from God to experience true love for someone and have them in turn truly love you back. Let’s face it, what could be better than that feeling of “falling in love”!

Both of my daughters fell in love not too long ago and they both got married. One was married in 2017 and her sister a year later in 2018. It was easy to see that they were in love with their fiancés before they were married, but now that they have been married for a little while, I am so happy to see that their love is stronger than ever. Watching their love grow reminds me of my own relationship.

On Friday of last week, I took my wife back to the Newport Diagnostic Center for a second Mammogram. The first mammogram turned up something suspicious and although she said it was probably nothing, the doctor still wanted a recheck done. As she got out of the car, I had this overwhelming feeling of “being in love” with her. I don’t know how to explain it, but as I watched her walk away from the car, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She is so beautiful and so precious to me! My heart pounded and my knuckles turned white as I gripped the steering wheel way too tight. I’m not sure what was happening, but we’ve been through so much the past 25 years, so many good times, so many difficult times, but always striving to take our relationship to the next level. Maybe it’s because I almost lost her when she had a serious lung disorder that I appreciate her so much. But I know that coming close to losing her is actually only one small part of it. The main reason our love keeps growing is because we work hard to strengthen it, every single day. In fact, we both have several banker’s boxes filled with hundreds of love notes and cards that we’ve given each other over time. Small little reminders that our love is a gift that is not to be taken for granted.

I can’t really explain the secret to growing in love, I just know that you have to work at it every single day. You have to wake up thinking, “What can I do to make this person’s life better today?” You have to put your own needs on hold at times and show that you care more about the other person than yourself. Write them a love note, tell them how you feel, or maybe even buy them a stupid coffee mug! Wait…. I just realized the answer! What could be better than falling in love… Growing in love!

Gravity is not the reason people fall in love.

~ Albert Einstein 

In the Blink of an Eye

(1962) Even though the teacher moved me up to the front of the class, I can’t see the chalkboard very well. My Mom says I have to get fitted for glasses tomorrow and I know all the kids in my second-grade class are going to make fun of me for sure and call me “Four-Eyes”. My life is over!

(1967) Junior High is turning out to be a better than I thought it was going to be! First, there are two really cute girls that sit behind me in class. Bonnie Blanton and Beverly Brumley are the “BB” (beautiful bombshell) girls, at least that’s what I call them. Second, my Mom says I am getting fitted for contact lenses tomorrow. She says my Aunt got a job at an optometrist place and now we can get a discount. Maybe if I lose the glasses, I’ll finally get the guts to go talk to the BB girls!

(1971) I got my driver’s license last week. So, Saturday night I was able to load my motorcycle into my truck and drive to Elsinore Racetrack on my own. I had a great night of racing and made it into the finals. Unfortunately, I got some dirt in my eyes and my hard contact lenses started really bothering me. As I entered the hairpin curve at the top of the straightaway on the final lap, I couldn’t see at all and lost control, flying off the track at 60 mph. I hate these stupid hard contact lenses, but now that I have a part time job at a gas station, I am going to save up to get a new kind called “soft contact lenses”.

(1995) I can’t believe how gorgeous my fiancé is! Her dress, her hair, her makeup, everything about her is breathtakingly beautiful. I always hoped I would get married to the girl of my dreams before the age of 40 and now it’s finally happening. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry today as I read my vows, but my emotions are getting the best of me, and my contact lenses aren’t helping either. I am trying hard to blink back the tears, but as I finish my last vow to her, I can feel the tears start falling from my eyes.

(2001) I feel really blessed the way things have gone this past year. My wife is awesome, my kids are healthy, and my business is finally booming here in Orange County. About six months ago, I had a little extra money, so I decided to ditch my contact lenses and get Lasik surgery. I was a little nervous about it, but my Dad said he would give me a ride and take me home after the surgery. My Dad is such a great guy. He’s always been there for me, steady and consistent, my rock and my hero. Unfortunately, tomorrow is his memorial service and I can’t stop crying. I won’t cry at the ceremony, I’ll be strong for my Mom, but despite my great new Lasik vision, it’s hard to visualize what the world is going to look like… without my Dad.

(2019) I golfed yesterday with my buddy Stacy and got frustrated several times because I can’t follow the flight of the ball. It’s been 18 years since I had Lasik and I’m at the point where I now need reading glasses for close up and a second pair for seeing far away. I remember thinking my life was over back when I was 7 years old and had to get those stupid glasses. Now I’m 63 and have to get those stupid glasses once again and I’m wondering the same thing. Is my life truly over now? I don’t know. But somehow my life seems to have gone full circle… in the blink of an eye!

As each day comes with fresh morning dew, 

so does my gratitude itself renew. 

~ Joe Thrailkill 

The Lady in Red

I’m not sure whether I should feel guilty or ashamed or what? I did something last week that felt bad, or should I say… I didn’t do something last week that felt bad. Please let me explain.

I was at Jerome’s furniture with my wife shopping for a sofa bed. We picked one out and while she continued shopping, I went to the check out area to pay for it. There was a young couple ahead of me, so I waited in line. I stood there patiently for about 10 minutes and as I stood there, I overheard some of the conversation going on. Apparently, the couple was waiting for change on their cash purchase, but the cashier didn’t have anything but a $100 bill. I heard her say she needed to go to her car to get change, but she had to wait until another cashier could relieve her. The couple looked frustrated, so I checked my wallet and saw that I had change for $100 and offered it up to the cashier.  She smiled, the couple smiled, problem solved. It didn’t cost me anything to help out, but it did require me to notice what was going on around me, and to pay attention to other people… instead of having my face in my phone and my head in the clouds.

But that’s not the thing that I didn’t do that is making me feel bad. Please let me explain further.

It’s been raining more this winter than in many, many years. I love that we are getting this much-needed rain but I’m also kind of tired of being cold and wet every day, so I’ve started carrying an umbrella with me everywhere I go. My wife and I went to the grocery store on Wednesday and it was really pouring, so I drove up close to the entrance and dropped her off. After I parked, I grabbed my umbrella and headed over to the store. As I approached the entrance, I noticed an older lady standing near the doorway. She was very noticeable because she was wearing a really funky red hat with a feather in it, tall red boots, and a big heavy red coat. She was carrying a bag of groceries and just standing there staring at the heavy rain. My thought was to offer to walk her to her car with my umbrella, but I was in a hurry to catch up with my wife and help her with her grocery shopping. So I walked right by that cute little old lady and said nothing. As soon as I got inside, I felt like a jerk, but when I turned around to go back, I saw that the lady in red was already slowly shuffling her way across the parking lot, getting totally drenched by the rain. It wouldn’t have cost me anything to help her, except a little time, but I didn’t do it. Problem not solved!

It’s not that I did something wrong, so I guess I don’t need to feel guilty. It’s just that I didn’t do what I know I should have done… something that would have made someone else’s day a little better! I know for a fact there are going to be situations every single day where I could bring a little sunshine into another person’s rainy day. And yet too often I am more focused on my phone than my fellow human beings. Shame on me!

Action is the antidote to despair.

~ Joan Baez 

A Kick

Monday Messages are meant to inspire and remind us of the things in life that are important. But I thought I would try something a little different this time and I thought you might get a kick out of it!

This week… there is no written Monday Message… just a simple photo. Take a look and if you can guess what is going on in the photo, email me. If you’re right, I will send you a Free “In-N-Out” Gift Card!

Hint: The Quote below the photo is a clue!

I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has family, he’s rich.

~ Thad Mumford

(From the TV Show - M*A*S*H) 

Note: Family Members are not eligible for this contest.

Bro Bonding

I haven’t touched a baseball since playing in the MSBL World Series Tournament last October… and I really miss it. So when I found out that some of my former teammates were having a baseball practice on Sunday in Mission Viejo, I decided I had to go.

When I say “I miss it” you probably think I mean playing baseball, and I do miss playing baseball. But what I really miss most is seeing my friends and hanging out with my buddies. For guys, baseball practices (and most sports for that matter) are typically a combination of bro hugs mixed with good natured ribbing. I know it might sound funny, but sports are a way for guys to compete against each other, yet still be rooting for each other at the same time. It’s like giving each other a hard time has become a major art form for most athletes and some of us are even better at trash talking than actually playing the sport!

All of us had such a great time on Sunday. But I have to say that the conditions weren’t so great. The fields were still super muddy from the rain, guys were slipping and falling all over the place, and throwing a wet baseball was a real adventure. But that just made it more fun because it gave us more reasons to give each other a hard time. One of the guys even messed up his knee and ended up having to go to see a doctor afterwards, but since it wasn’t a super serious injury, we still gave him a bunch of crap about being such a big baby! (Truth is he was really tough about it and wouldn’t leave the field to go see a doctor until practice was completely over.)

I don’t know if women bond the same way as men. Maybe they do, but for some reason I kind of doubt that women kick mud at each other on purpose like we men did on Sunday. Yeah, we kick mud on each other, and we laugh at each other a lot, but we would also go to war for one another. It’s our way of bonding and it creates friendships that last a lifetime.

Like I said, I don’t know if women bond the same way as men do. But what I do know is that when I told my wife I just had to go to baseball practice on Sunday, she said, “I thought you gave up baseball?” I answered her back immediately in my deepest, male, testosterone filled voice, “Yeah, but I ain’t never giving up on my bro’s!”

Only your real friends will tell you when you’re your face is dirty.

~ Sicilian Proverb 

Open It Up

Twelve years ago, I attempted to play guitar in a small rock and roll band that included two of my adult children and three of my friends.  Everyone in the band was gifted musically. For example, my oldest son is an accomplished drummer who won multiple percussion awards in High School and my oldest daughter performed and sang the lead in local theatre shows as well as at one-point auditioning for American Idol. Everyone was super gifted, everyone that is except for me. So, I practiced over and over to become better and even though the best I ever got was mediocre, I absolutely loved it. I still get goose bumps just thinking about how thrilling it was to perform in front of a crowd. But after playing together for 3 years, my daughter became pregnant with her third child, and the band stopped playing. I put my beautiful Taylor acoustic guitar in its case, closed the lid, and shoved it under my bed.

Fast forward nine years later... On this past Saturday I took my wife to the Monarch Beach Resort so that she and two of her friends could attend an art class. Besides having zero musical gifts, I also have zero artistic gifts, so while they painted a beautiful ocean scene, I went to the Gym to get in some exercise. I finished my work out before the painting class was over and wandered over to the lobby to hang out while I waited. The lobby of the Monarch Beach Resort is spectacular with a long bar at one end and huge floor to ceiling glass windows showcasing a beautiful sunset view at the other end.

Since it was a Saturday evening, the bar was packed, and people were enjoying live entertainment provided by a professional violin player. This obviously gifted musician wasn’t playing classical music, he was playing beautiful modern songs by artists like Ed Sheeran and Marron 5… and he was playing them with an extreme passion! I was absolutely captivated by his music and could have listened all night long. I even took a video of his performance so that I could show it to my 12-year-old grandson who is taking viola lessons. I’m pretty sure watching a professional perform live with such passion would be tremendously inspiring to a youngster who has already shown that he too has musical gifts.

And that got me thinking… One of the main reasons I write Monday Messages is to inspire people to remember the important things in life. Things like hope and faith, family and friends, and all of God’s gifts and blessings. Well, it dawned on me yesterday that inspiration comes in many forms and so do God’s gifts. In fact, yesterday I got down on my knees, reached under my bed, and pulled out an old, dusty guitar case. Who knows, I might even open it up!

God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.

~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Searching for Happiness

Sometimes I wonder if I am so busy searching for happiness that I forget that most of the time it’s right there in front of me. Especially since I have so many wonderful friends!

On Saturday night, my wife and I went to dinner at a friend’s house in Laguna Niguel. We had never been to their house before, so it was nice to finally visit their home. Despite both of them having extremely busy careers in the medical profession, (he is a doctor and she is a nurse) they found time to remodel their home themselves and did a wonderful job. It is beautifully decorated, with a gorgeous Grand Piano in the living room and a huge wraparound patio outside with a stunning view of the ocean. Since it was our first visit, they gave us a tour and I noticed they had the same pillow in their guest bedroom that we have in our guest bedroom. It’s a long decorative pillow with the definition of “Happiness” written on it. It reminded me that I was happy to have these people as friends!

I like this couple a lot because they are really fun, funny, interesting, and adventurous. Recently the husband signed up for a trip to explore Antarctica and after dinner he showed us an amazing video. Antarctica is one of the last places on earth that hasn’t been spoiled by the human race and its beauty is singularly unique. Apparently just getting to Antarctica was an adventure in itself, but once he arrived, it turned out to be one of those bucket list things that we all should try to do at least once before we die.

Speaking of “Bucket List” I saw that movie recently for the second time.  It’s about two terminally ill men who escape from a cancer ward to begin a trip around the world with a bucket list of to-dos before they die. Edward (Jack Nicholson) just wants to have fun no matter what it costs, while Carter (Morgan Freeman) is a lot more thoughtful. Near the end of the movie, Edward is acting like a jerk, once again, because all he cares about is his own happiness. So Carter stops him for a moment and quietly tells him something extremely insightful. He explains to Edward that the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance to heaven, the guards asked two questions.  The first question was, “Have you found joy in your life?” The second question was, “Has your life brought joy to others?”

Maybe that pillow with the definition of happiness on it isn’t entirely complete. Maybe it should include… bringing joy to someone else’s life!

Happiness held is the seed; happiness shared is the flower.

~ Anonymous