Help Wanted (by Anonymous)

My life’s journey has been interesting and exciting to say the least. But it really took off when I found a career in Human Resources. I enjoyed every minute of the interviewing, recruiting, and event planning, especially when I was able to find the right people to help our company succeed. I always believed that if I found the right person for the job, most of the details could be learned, and that proved to be true. However, I have to say recruiting was never an easy task.

I spent a lot of time pouring through resumes, conversing with people on the phone, and interviewing them in person. Sometimes resumes would be too brief or too casual and at other times, they would be packed with too many words (indicative of a person who may like to talk a little too much). One time, the encounter was really strange when an older male candidate I was meeting in person pointed out to me that he was breathing at the same pace I was – in his effort to bond with me! Since team chemistry is also important, I would do my best to select the resumes of people who potentially possessed the right skill sets to do the job, but who also seemed like they’d be a good fit for our team.

Sometimes I would be surprised when a person came in for the interview because they would turn out to be much more complex and interesting than their resume suggested. So I learned to get to know the person for who they are and not what they put on paper. It’s easy to look at someone and think we know them by what we see on the surface, but quite often that impression is wrong. I found that if I am patient enough to dig deep, people would often surprise me in a good way. When recruiting, I also discovered it’s important to understand what motivates a person to do a good job. That way I could make sure they would be happy, challenged and fulfilled in their new position.

As I reflected on my career in Human Resources, I spotted my Bible which I try to read on a regular basis. It is a version that is in chronological order, so it helps me to have a better understanding of the history of it all and get it to stick in my little brain. I’m near the end now and have been reading about the day that Jesus was crucified and all the events that unfolded with His disciples. As someone committed to recruiting people, it occurred to me that part of Jesus’s job on earth was to recruit people. But even more important, He was sent here to enlighten His disciples and the rest of the entire world with a singular message.

“A new commandment I give unto you. As I have loved you, so shall you love one another.”

That message really hit home with me. Loving one another means getting to know people at a deeper level, accepting their differences, and giving them an opportunity to make a positive difference, in our company… or in our lives.

Find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

~ Anonymous

My Plate

My daughter, Brooke, is quite a bit younger than our other three children so she truly was the baby of the family growing up. But at three years old she developed this booming voice and outsized personality that would crack us all up. In my mind, I see her as this tiny little girl who slept in a tiny plastic bed and said the funniest things in the loudest voice. Actually, that loud voice served her well when she became a high school soccer star, because referees would sometimes blow a call and she would be forced to let them have it.

She was so cute and so funny and that included at dinner time as well. She somehow got this idea that she had to finish everything on her plate or she would get in trouble. We never asked her to finish her meal, but if there was any food left on her plate, she would get all stressed out about it, saying, “I’m tired. My stomach hurts. Daddy, will you finish my steak?” (Or my hamburger, my mashed potatoes, my ice cream, or whatever it was.) And of course, being a loving father, I was always willing to make those tough sacrifices. I’m surprised I didn’t blow up like a balloon trying to ease her stress over having too much on her plate.

Which reminds me of that old saying, “I’ve got too much on my plate”. I don’t know where it came from but it certainly applies to most adults, especially those of us living in Southern California. When we are kids, life is simple. But the minute we make a friend, life becomes more complicated because all of sudden we have to learn to share. Then we grow up and take on a spouse and things become even more complicated because we have to learn to compromise. The next step of course is having children of our own. Now we have to learn to share, to compromise and to sacrifice. And if that’s not enough, we have to go to work in high paced environment, fight traffic, get along with our neighbors and pick up the dog poop. And if you’re a typical wife and mother, you have to do all of that and also feed your family a delicious meal every night, while of course, making sure you don’t put too much on their plate!

I don’t know what the best solution is when you have “too much on your plate”, but I was definitely feeling that way yesterday and stressing out about it. But isn’t there another old saying that goes something like, “God won’t give us more than we can handle”. Well, that may or may not be true, but I think it will only work if we fully trust Him. I mean think about it the next time you have problems to solve and too much on your plate… If He truly is our heavenly Father, then He probably won’t mind at all helping us with our steak, our mashed potatoes, or our ice cream. (Or any other problem we may have!)

 One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. 

And he said, “Is it half full or half empty?” 

So I drank the water. Solved that problem!

~ Alexander Jodorowsky

Love Letters

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and although it’s meant to be a happy time, for most men it can create major stress. If we don’t have a loving wife or girlfriend, Valentine’s Day is simply a sad reminder of how lost and lonely we feel. On the other hand, if we do have a loving mate, how can we possibly come up with a gift that is so awesome, it will totally express our love and appreciation? This is a huge problem!

I fall into the latter group. I not only have a loving wife, she is also my best friend, constant companion, business partner, family psychologist, helpful adviser, teammate, partner in crime, fellow adventurer, and mother of my children. How can I possibly express my love for this insanely beautiful super woman who brings such passion into my life? What can I buy her, what can I do for her, where can I take her, what can I say to her? But wait….That’s it! Women like to talk and they like to hear what we think and how we feel. If I could find just the right words to express my love, I’m sure it would be a great gift. But we men are just not good at expressing our feelings. We would rather “build things” or “fix things” than “talk about things”.

Last night my wife made me (I mean asked me to) watch the movie “Sex in the City” with her. At one point the potential groom (Mr. Big) tells his fiancé (Carrie) that he is having trouble writing his vows. Carrie makes it simple and suggests that all he has to do is write, “I will always love you”. She’s means well and it’s a good suggestion, but Mr. Big still gets so flustered he ends up bailing out on the wedding. I told you, it’s hard for us men to express our feelings. But wait!...That’s it! It’s hard to do! And that’s what makes it so special. If it were easy to write a love letter, women wouldn’t appreciate it so much. Yes, it’s hard and it takes guts to put your feelings out there for the whole world to see. (Let’s face it, you know your wife or girlfriend is going to share what you give her with her girlfriends.) But if we truly love her as we say we do, and if we appreciate her as much as she deserves, then we have to find the courage to write her a love letter.

Do you need inspiration to write a decent love letter? If so, it might help to think about the first time you told her you loved her and more importantly, how she answered you back in the same way. Think about how happy you were at that moment and how nothing else mattered. When she said, “I love you”, you knew you could then do anything, conquer any mountain, overcome any problem. The love of a woman has motivated many a man to overcome his greatest fears and accomplish his wildest dreams. If women can do that for us, then we should be able create a simple, sweet love letter for them. Or at least try!

If you still need some inspiration, I will share with you the passionate love letter I wrote for my wife this year. But wait…Forget it! That’s way too personal and you’re not getting off that easy. I will however, share with you a letter I wrote my wife a long time ago, when my Dad was terminally ill and I was having a hard time coping with the stress. My Dad died 11 days after I wrote the letter, but expressing my love and appreciation for my wife at that time, was not only a great gift to her…in a way it was a gift I gave myself because it made me feel so much better and stronger inside. So Gentlemen, may I suggest you start writing! (And make sure that Valentine's Day is not the only time she gets a love letter from you!)

One word frees us from all the weight and pain of life;

That word is love.

~ Sophocles

February 1^st, 2001

Dear Debby,

I Now Know

That a very difficult situation lies ahead.

That it will be hard and that I will need your help, your love, and your utmost patience. I will be strong for I am a warrior. So whether or not I make it through this situation is not even a question, because with you, I know I can make it through anything.

Although I do not know what the future holds, I do know that you have always been there for me, to listen, to talk, to share, and to love with all of your heart….and I love you with all of mine. We can and will endure together!

My Wish For Us

Is that we will continue to share new interests and adventures

And allow each other the freedom to develop as individuals.

That our faith won’t be shaken by occasional feelings of hurt or anger.

That we will continue to acknowledge our differences openly,

And see them as opportunities to learn and grow closer.

That we will find in each disagreement the patience to listen,

The courage to trust, and the strength to forgive.

That we will find in each difficult situation that plaques our lives,

The wisdom to work together, to find the right answers.

May We Never Forget

The qualities that first attracted us to each other

And how much we still appreciate them.

To always inspire each other, applauding successes,

Nurturing strengths, believing in each other’s dreams,

And working as one to make them come true.

To look into each other’s hearts and see the true love that exists.

That “If Ever Two Were One…Then Surely We”

All my Love,

Joseph

Family Matters

Two things happened last week that reminded me of an important concept. The concept of family.

On Tuesday, our company gave a live presentation to a major property management firm. For the first time ever, instead of going it alone, I took four members of our sales team to help me make the presentation. (I think I was more nervous about speaking in front of my sales team than I was about speaking in front of a large group of customers.) Our plan was that I would make opening remarks, the rest of the team would chip in with the different benefits and services we offer, and then I would close. We even had a detailed PowerPoint to help tell our “story”.  But at the last minute, I decided that our “story” should wrap around the concept of family, that we are a family owned business, we treat our employees like family, we treat our vendors like family, and that if this group would give us a chance… we would treat them like family too.

On Saturday, my own personal family got together for a fun night out. My wife and I, along with three of our children and their significant others, met at “T-Spoons” in San Juan Capistrano for a cooking class. It’s a fun place where you learn to cook while you drink wine and socialize…and then to top it off, you get to eat a great meal together. Half way through the event a thought occurred to me. I am very blessed that my adult children enjoy spending time together and even more blessed that they are willing to include my wife and I in some of their group outings. I guess you could say our family is tight because we do actually treat each other like family.

I think Tuesday’s presentation went well because we’ve already started getting business from it and I think the “T-Spoons” cooking class also went well because everyone definitely had fun and a full stomach when we left. So at this point in my life, I recognize that I am blessed to have a great family and by that I mean, 4 kids, 6 grandkids, 14 employees, 110 vendors, 750 customers and dozens of close friends. To me, they are all family and worthy of my love and respect… and I should never take any of them for granted.

On Sunday, I still had family on my mind when I saw a man walking down Beach Road. There was a little boy walking next to him with his tiny little fist clenched tightly to his Daddy’s big hand and it was obvious he felt safe and happy. All of a sudden the man swooped the little boy up into his arms and said something to him. Then he gave him a big kiss and set him back down on the sidewalk. It was an obvious expression of love and maybe it was also God’s way of reminding me that it only takes two people to create a family… and more importantly that even if we don’t have family or a father here on earth… we will always have a heavenly father and be a part of His family forever. 

You don’t get to choose your family. 

They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.

~ Desmond Tutu 

Thank You For Your Service

Recently I played golf with a buddy and we got paired up with two young men in their early 20’s. They were both good golfers and I could also tell they were very close friends by the way they constantly ribbed each other. As I often do when I meet new people, I asked them what they did for a living. Practically in unison they answered, “We’re United States Marines, sir. Infantrymen.”

Since I was raised in a Marine Corps family, I have great respect for all our service men and women, so I responded immediately. “Well then let me thank you both for your service.” They smiled at my small gesture of gratitude but at the same time I felt sad inside that these two men, who were so nice and so young, would soon be putting themselves in harm’s way to protect the rest of us. Saying, “Thank you” is nice, but on my way home I just kept thinking that I, in fact all of us, should do more to show our appreciation.

As I drove home I heard a story on the radio that reinforced my thinking. It was about a long-time San Diego Police Officer and how he found a unique way to show his appreciation for our military personnel. He was working in the San Diego Harbor area last weekend when he noticed a mini-van parked near the water’s edge. A young woman with two small children stood nearby. The children were only 2 and 4 years old and both were waving furiously as a large military ship motored slowly out of the harbor. The kids were screaming, “By Daddy, we love you”, over and over again. For a police officer who has seen so much unkindness over the years, this was a touching moment. He drove his police vehicle over next to the family and offered the children his microphone so they could amplify their farewell wishes to their Daddy. There is no way to know if their father heard them, but that’s not the point. Police Officers, Firemen and Military Personnel all put their lives on the line everyday to protect the rest of us and while we typically think of them of them as toughened, hard-nosed characters, the truth is quite the opposite. To be willing to sacrifice your own life for others is the ultimate sacrifice and truly models the heart of Jesus.

On Friday I was still thinking about that San Diego Policeman when I caught a little bit of the Presidential Inauguration Ceremonies on TV. I am not a huge fan of Donald Trump (although I do have high hopes for his success) but the main reason I watched is because I enjoy seeing the top-ranking members of our government surrounded by every division of our military at the beautiful US Capital Building in Washington, DC. The pomp and circumstance is awesome and it reminds millions of us that we live in the greatest country in the world, a country filled with people who are willing to sacrifice for others. I know Donald Trump’s theme is to “Make America Great Again”. But if you ask me or any cop, firemen or military person, I think we would all agree that he should change that wording to be “Keep America Great!”

This, then, is the state of the union: Free and restless, growing and full of hope. 

So it was in the beginning, so it shall always be, 

while God is willing and we are strong enough to keep the faith.

~ President Lyndon B. Johnson

Forever Impression

I’ve been driving a truck since I was 16 years old and I always will. I guess it just fits my personality because owning a truck enables me to do so much more than I can with a car… and it was early on in my life that I learned that doing more... truly can make a difference.

In 1969 my parents had a small avocado grove in Fallbrook, California and I helped them take care of it even though I was only 14 years old. Our neighbor to the north had a much larger avocado grove that covered 28 acres and he hired migrant workers from Mexico to help him with irrigation, picking and pruning every year. The same four men showed up every season and just about every penny they earned they sent back to their families in Mexico. One man in particular, I will never forget. His name was Paco.

Paco spoke a little bit of English, and I spoke a little bit of Spanish, and somehow we connected. He and his crew would work 10 hour days, 7 days a week, for months at a time and if our family had any food left over, I would take it to share with them. They would be so grateful and Paco always had the biggest smile of all! When I told him my dream was to buy a truck someday, he offered to let me work with him. His rancher boss agreed and for 6 days a week all summer, 10 hours a day, I worked alongside Paco pruning massive avocado trees. I got tired and sometimes went home early, but not Paco, he had a family to feed. Even though I was just a teen-ager I picked up on the “work ethic” that Paco and his crew embodied. They worked hard every day, rain or shine, and never complained. I remember the rancher telling me they were only supposed to work 5 days a week, but their families were poor, so they worked extra hard to earn as much as possible.

One day, working way up high in a tree, I sliced a deep gash into my leg with a tree-saw. I cried out for help and Paco came running. He climbed up the tree, helped me down, and wrapped my leg with his bandana. He then carried me a half mile back to my house so my Mom could take me to the doctor. Around 6pm that evening I called the Rancher to tell him what happened, but he already knew. In fact, he said Paco was still working past dark to make up for the time he missed carrying me home. That left a huge impression on me that has motivated me many times in my life, to always work hard and always go the extra mile.

With the money I earned that summer I wasn’t able to afford a truck but I did buy a motorcycle, which I used to get back and forth to school every day. I was proud of earning the money myself and grateful for the life lessons my friend Paco taught me. However, the very next year, only three men came to work at our neighbor’s ranch. Paco was not with them. When I asked what happened to Paco, they said he was bitten by a rattle snake crossing the border and died a few days later. The news of Paco’s death hit me hard, really hard, which I guess was just another lesson to be learned. Life does not last forever, but certain people can leave a “forever impression” on us. 

Hard work spotlights the character of people. Some turn up their sleeves, 

some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.

~ Sam Ewing

The Only True Shelter

I woke up early on the morning of New Year’s Day to the sound of raindrops splashing outside my window. My wife was still sleeping, so I walked ever so quietly past the kitchen towards the sliding glass doors that face the ocean. As I opened the doors and peered out, the sun was not quite up yet so the sky was still dark and the ocean a dreary dull gray. The rain was slowly dripping off the roof line creating a gloomy image in stark contrast to the normally beautiful blue ocean view we are blessed with.

Standing there, looking out at the depressing cold gray view, I found myself wishing that it wasn’t raining, that it wasn’t cold, and that it wasn’t winter time. I admit I’ve never liked rain. When it rains, I can’t play golf, I can’t play baseball, I can’t jog, paddle board or ride my bike. It even makes going to work difficult because as I’m sure you are aware, nobody in Southern California can drive properly when it rains. But as I stood there grumbling about the weather and wishing the rain would stop, I realized I was being selfish. We need this rain to help offset the terrible drought we have had for such a long time. So while it might not be good for me personally, it is good for all of us in the big scheme of things.

You know that old saying, “Into every life a little rain must fall”. Well I don’t think that old saying is really about rain. I think it’s about all the different struggles we face in life and how we truly need those problems to shape us and mold us into a stronger, better version of ourselves, where our faith is tested and hopefully proven. So as I’m standing there staring out at the rain, I thought about how it’s a brand new year and a chance for me to make a fresh start to become the best person I can be. I immediately changed my attitude and decided I should go for a bike ride despite the rain. I just need to put on a helmet, or a hat, or a coat with a hoodie. Or better yet, I’ll mount an umbrella onto my handlebars and if the rain gets too bad, I’ll just find shelter and wait it out. And that’s when it hit me. The only true shelter in life is faith! And if we have faith we can face any storm, any struggle, any time, any where!

Adversity is like a strong storm. It tears away from us all but the things 

that cannot be torn, so that we may see ourselves as we really are. 

~ Arthur Golden