Love Letters

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and although it’s meant to be a happy time, for most men it can create major stress. If we don’t have a loving wife or girlfriend, Valentine’s Day is simply a sad reminder of how lost and lonely we feel. On the other hand, if we do have a loving mate, how can we possibly come up with a gift that is so awesome, it will totally express our love and appreciation? This is a huge problem!

I fall into the latter group. I not only have a loving wife, she is also my best friend, constant companion, business partner, family psychologist, helpful adviser, teammate, partner in crime, fellow adventurer, and mother of my children. How can I possibly express my love for this insanely beautiful super woman who brings such passion into my life? What can I buy her, what can I do for her, where can I take her, what can I say to her? But wait….That’s it! Women like to talk and they like to hear what we think and how we feel. If I could find just the right words to express my love, I’m sure it would be a great gift. But we men are just not good at expressing our feelings. We would rather “build things” or “fix things” than “talk about things”.

Last night my wife made me (I mean asked me to) watch the movie “Sex in the City” with her. At one point the potential groom (Mr. Big) tells his fiancé (Carrie) that he is having trouble writing his vows. Carrie makes it simple and suggests that all he has to do is write, “I will always love you”. She’s means well and it’s a good suggestion, but Mr. Big still gets so flustered he ends up bailing out on the wedding. I told you, it’s hard for us men to express our feelings. But wait!...That’s it! It’s hard to do! And that’s what makes it so special. If it were easy to write a love letter, women wouldn’t appreciate it so much. Yes, it’s hard and it takes guts to put your feelings out there for the whole world to see. (Let’s face it, you know your wife or girlfriend is going to share what you give her with her girlfriends.) But if we truly love her as we say we do, and if we appreciate her as much as she deserves, then we have to find the courage to write her a love letter.

Do you need inspiration to write a decent love letter? If so, it might help to think about the first time you told her you loved her and more importantly, how she answered you back in the same way. Think about how happy you were at that moment and how nothing else mattered. When she said, “I love you”, you knew you could then do anything, conquer any mountain, overcome any problem. The love of a woman has motivated many a man to overcome his greatest fears and accomplish his wildest dreams. If women can do that for us, then we should be able create a simple, sweet love letter for them. Or at least try!

If you still need some inspiration, I will share with you the passionate love letter I wrote for my wife this year. But wait…Forget it! That’s way too personal and you’re not getting off that easy. I will however, share with you a letter I wrote my wife a long time ago, when my Dad was terminally ill and I was having a hard time coping with the stress. My Dad died 11 days after I wrote the letter, but expressing my love and appreciation for my wife at that time, was not only a great gift to her…in a way it was a gift I gave myself because it made me feel so much better and stronger inside. So Gentlemen, may I suggest you start writing! (And make sure that Valentine's Day is not the only time she gets a love letter from you!)

One word frees us from all the weight and pain of life;

That word is love.

~ Sophocles

February 1^st, 2001

Dear Debby,

I Now Know

That a very difficult situation lies ahead.

That it will be hard and that I will need your help, your love, and your utmost patience. I will be strong for I am a warrior. So whether or not I make it through this situation is not even a question, because with you, I know I can make it through anything.

Although I do not know what the future holds, I do know that you have always been there for me, to listen, to talk, to share, and to love with all of your heart….and I love you with all of mine. We can and will endure together!

My Wish For Us

Is that we will continue to share new interests and adventures

And allow each other the freedom to develop as individuals.

That our faith won’t be shaken by occasional feelings of hurt or anger.

That we will continue to acknowledge our differences openly,

And see them as opportunities to learn and grow closer.

That we will find in each disagreement the patience to listen,

The courage to trust, and the strength to forgive.

That we will find in each difficult situation that plaques our lives,

The wisdom to work together, to find the right answers.

May We Never Forget

The qualities that first attracted us to each other

And how much we still appreciate them.

To always inspire each other, applauding successes,

Nurturing strengths, believing in each other’s dreams,

And working as one to make them come true.

To look into each other’s hearts and see the true love that exists.

That “If Ever Two Were One…Then Surely We”

All my Love,

Joseph