Only Lonely... For a While

I am excited that we are finally going in the right direction with this pandemic. For the first time in 13 months, my wife and I enjoyed a meal at a restaurant. We ate outside on the patio, sharing a meal with good friends, enjoying good conversation, and it was awesome! All of us were vaccinated, so it felt safe, and it felt good. Funny how you can appreciate things like that so much more when you haven’t been able to do them in a very long time.

But it wasn’t the restaurant or the meal that made things special. It was spending time with friends that made it fun. And that got me thinking about the “loneliness” created by the pandemic. I am lucky because I have a loving wife to keep me company. But during this past year I’m sure there were tons of people who felt truly and totally alone in the worst way. Loneliness can create a great deal of pain… but I have discovered it is usually temporary.

My first experience with loneliness came as a young man of 19 when my girlfriend dumped me and broke my heart. I was devastated, so I dropped out of college and moved to Orange County. I took a minimum wage job at a gas station, didn’t know anyone or have any friends yet, and lived at a cheap motel off Harbor Boulevard in Costa Mesa. I spent Christmas by myself in my motel room, with a tiny Christmas tree, sobbing and aching from the pain of loneliness. I know loneliness is a mental state, but I swear the pain radiated throughout my entire body like a thousand knives endlessly stabbing me. I remember that moment very clearly… and I remember praying for God’s help through my tears.

Six months went by and I landed a new job working in the warehouse of a lighting supply company. I made friends there and met other people who worked nearby. Pretty soon I had small group of trusted friends, a much better paying job, and my eye on a cute girl that worked in the same complex. Loneliness was no longer an issue and the fact that I was able to bounce back, when I was sure I was going to die, taught me two important lessons. First, loneliness is not a character flaw. In fact, it actually serves an adaptive function, encouraging us to seek out and create authentic, loving connections, which in turn improves our quality of life. Second, we are never truly alone if we are connected to God, who in His infinite wisdom always seems to know exactly what I need in my life.

 

Sometimes the storms of life come to teach us that God is in control, 

that we must lean on Him and learn to be thankful for the richness of His blessings.