Invisible Scars

There is nothing special about me at all. I am just an ordinary guy. But I have had some extraordinary experiences in my life. Some amazingly wonderful. Some extremely painful. So I am about to tell you about the most horrifically painful thing that ever happened to me, one that scarred me for life, in the hope that it won’t happen to you.

But first, let’s talk about what’s going on in our world for just a moment. We are in the middle of an extremely serious, world-wide pandemic. If you don’t think so, then you must not watch TV, listen to the radio, or read any current newspapers. You would actually have to be in a coma right now to not know that people everywhere are getting sick, suffering, going into a coma, and then dying. And if that’s not bad enough, the reason people are dying is actually because of other people.

But let me stop there for a moment and tell you my worst story. On Friday, May 18^th, 2012, I was driving through a residential area in Irvine. I pulled into a small shopping center. It was lunchtime, it was crowded, and I was having trouble finding a parking spot. I wasn’t drinking, I wasn’t texting, I wasn’t talking on my phone, but I was distracted in my head, thinking about my work, my wife, and my kids. Then it happened. I accidentally ran over an 88-year-old woman, crushing both of her legs. I was devastated! All I could think of was that I just killed an innocent little old lady. She was rushed to a hospital, so I rushed to the hospital as well, crying the whole way and feeling the worst emotional pain I had ever experienced in my life. She survived the night and was then moved to UCI Medical Center where she was operated on and given multiple skin grafts. She should have died several times over, so every time I went to visit her, I prayed she would still be there in that bed. It was more than 6 months before she was well enough to leave. And it was by far, the absolute worst 6 months of my life.

I am telling you this story because I know what it feels like to hurt someone, to nearly cause them to die, and I don’t want it to happen to you. When you look at me you don’t see the invisible scar that I carry inside me. But trust me, it is there, and it will never go away. And It hurts so bad that I never want anything like that to happen ever again, to me or to anyone else.

So please be careful! Stay home. If you have to go out, wear a mask every time you leave your house. Wash your hands 10 times a day, remember social distancing, and maybe save a life. You don’t want to be one of those people, like me, who carry around forever an invisible scar that will never heal.  

Better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness.

Chinese Proverb (often quoted by my late friend Pao Chi Chen)