Count On It

The Christmas Season is over and New Year’s Day is right around the corner. Soon we will start the countdown to 2020. Doesn’t that seem crazy? Wasn’t it only yesterday we were sure the world was ending because the new year was about to turn 2000? Yet, in the blink of an eye, 20 years have gone by.

So I’ve been thinking about what has happened in the world over the past 20 years and it seems like a lot has happened… and a lot has changed. But has anything really changed?

Twenty years ago, people were excited about computers and how they would make life so much easier for us. But if you ask me, people are working harder than ever. Twenty years ago, people were critical of the government and President Clinton was impeached by the House of Representatives. Today it’s President Trump’s turn to be criticized and impeached. Twenty Years ago, the St. Louis Rams were in the Super Bowl and earlier this year, the Los Angeles Rams were in the Super Bowl. (Okay, a slight difference there.) Twenty years ago, Al Qaeda terrorists bombed the USS Cole. Today, terrorists are still a huge problem all over the world.

So, it would seem like nothing in the world has changed much in the past twenty years. But I bet if you look back at your own personal life, there has been some change. For me, I can’t even begin to count the number of things that have changed in my life! I went from being divorced to being happily remarried. I went from having one son, to having four children (and somehow now having six grandchildren). I went from owning a Lighting Maintenance Company to owning a Lighting Supply Company to now owning a company that sells parts to the Solar Industry. I went from having blonde hair and blue eyes to having gray hair and bad eyesight. (Bummer dude!) And I went from being a man focused on work and making money to a man focused on his faith, his family and his friends.

And that got me thinking… Maybe it’s not that my life has changed so much, maybe it’s just that through all the trials and tribulations of the past 20 years, I’ve managed to grow up just a little bit. There were lots of bumps in my road, problems with friends, financial failures, my wife being hospitalized, and the death of both of my parents. But like a molten tool on an anvil, perhaps God has been shaping me all along into the man he intended me to be when he planted me on this earth. I know if you look back at your own life, you’ve probably had your share of tough times as well. But as you remember the hard times, remember also that the one who is constantly shaping you, is also always loving you. Count on it!  

Things do not change. We change.

~ Henry David Thoreau

Gift Getting

It’s now officially the Christmas season, so I spent quite a lot of time shopping this past week. Actually, the truth is that I drove my wife around to different stores and malls and watched her shop because she is the expert at selecting gifts for people. But hey, I carried the bags, so that’s something!

While we were shopping, my wife asked me several times what I wanted for Christmas. I know it would have made it easier on her if I simply gave her a few wish-list items, but I just couldn’t come up with anything. I thought about it a few more times during the week, but at this point in my life I’m really happy and pretty much have everything I need.

I know that last statement sounds cliché but I’ve discovered that our needs change as we get older. When I was a boy I wanted toys, and when I was a young adult I wanted a nice car, and in my forties I wanted a better home for my family. But at 64, I’ve got everything I could ever want and don’t feel the need to clutter up my life with any more material things, especially since I live in such a small house!

However, my wife kept asking me what I wanted because she loves to give gifts and she loves me. So I kept thinking about it along the lines of, you know, underwear, socks, a golf shirt or maybe some golf balls, and then it hit me. I know what I really want!

What I really want is a chance to spend a little time with my closest friends. Obviously, I want to spend time with my family as well over the holidays, but we already have that planned out and I know it will be great. But getting to see friends during the Holiday Season is a whole lot harder because everyone is always so busy. Then again, like everything else in life, if you want it bad enough, you figure out how to make it happen. So, I sat down and made out a list of friends and started putting down possible dates. I showed it to my wife and with her approval, I started sending out emails and text messages. I made a dinner date with Bill and Ruth, set up a golf game with my friend Paul, set up a round of golf in Temecula with Danny and Stacy, and a round of golf with Brad, Jeff, and Marvin in San Juan. And I also set up several other dinner dates and four other rounds of golf with assorted friends throughout the area. I couldn’t set up dates for everyone, but for those I don’t get to see, I will be writing a letter to them to remind them how much I appreciate their friendship.   

And that got me thinking… Making an effort to spend time with friends or writing them a letter of appreciation is a nice little gift. But maybe it’s not actually gift giving…maybe it’s more like “Gift Getting”!   

Love is, above all, the gift of one’s self.

~ Jean Anouilh

Productive Patience

I’ve heard it said that time is our most precious commodity.  If that’s true, then patience must be one of our most important assets. Unfortunately, I am not doing well in the patience department.

For some reason, I always feel like I need to be doing something productive. Maybe its because I’m a type A person, or maybe I’m just a little ADD, but one thing’s for sure, I have a really hard time doing nothing. In fact, nothing gets me more frustrated than waiting. Here’s an example.

On Wednesday of last week, the day before Thanksgiving, I needed to stop at Costco to pick up a prescription. Of course, when I pulled into the parking lot it was extremely crowded, so it took me a few minutes to find a parking spot. But I got lucky and found one very close to the building. Or at least I thought I was lucky until I reached the entrance. Much to my surprise, as I walked up they were closing the large roll down door at the entrance and tons of people were streaming out the exit. I stood there for a moment trying to figure out what was going on and then noticed that the only lights on in the building, were the emergency lights. The power must have gone out, so everybody was bailing.

I was a little irritated that the place was closed but shook it off and headed for my truck. But I was too late! Hundreds of people were already in their cars, fighting to get out of the parking lot. Since I parked close, I was the lucky guy who was now last in line in a large gridlock of cars all trying to exit at the same time. I knew I was stuck and there was nothing I could do about it. As I sat there, inching along at less than one mile per hour, I got more and more frustrated. But then I decided to do something productive, I decided to offer up a prayer. No, I wasn’t praying to be delivered from the parking lot (although I did think about it). I was just praying in a conversational way with God, just wanted to let Him know that I was thinking about Him. I don’t usually do that in my car, but hey, I had lots of time and nowhere to go.

After about 20 minutes, I found myself only 50 yards from the street, freedom was in sight! So I got another “productive” idea. I would try to warn people who were still streaming in from the street that Costco was closed. I rolled down my window and waved to get people’s attention, but only one lady paid attention to me. I explained the problem and told her she should turn around and she thanked me profusely. So hey, guess what, I found one more way to be productive during my predicament!

And that got me thinking… If you are like me and sometimes struggle with patience, there are always things you can do to be productive, like talking to someone. And remember, there is always at least One Person, you can talk to!  

Adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Participation in the Pink

Last week I drove down to Solana Beach in San Diego to do a light pole inspection.  I came up with the idea of doing light pole inspections using Ultrasonic Technology about 15 years ago. It’s a highly innovative approach to preventative maintenance because by performing an annual inspection for rust and corrosion, I can locate light poles that are in danger of falling… before they fall over! It’s a much better approach than waiting until a pole falls onto a car and then having to clean up that huge mess.

When I finished checking all the light poles at the Solana Marketplace, I headed south through Del Mar towards my next project. However, when I tried to head towards the freeway, the traffic was severely back up. It took me about 10 minutes to make the left turn, but as I drove down Via de la Valle, I saw why the traffic was a mess. There was a huge parade of thousands of people walking down the sides of the street, all of them decked out in bright pink.

It was obviously a parade in support of breast cancer research, but what was really impressive was the number of people. The steady throng of “people in pink” went on for miles and miles, until I thought it would never end. But then, as I got close to the 5 Freeway, I saw the crowd finally start to thin out. And then she caught my eye! Far behind the rest of the crowd was this little old lady, all by herself, completely decked out in pink clothes, pink feathers, and a pink hat, moving ever so slowly holding on to her walker as she shuffled along. She was at least 100 yards behind everyone else, but still moving.

She was so cute I almost crashed my truck trying to get a better look at her as I went by. I should have stopped ang got her picture because she must have been at least 80-90 years old and had the brightest pink outfit I have ever seen. She was definitely inspiring because it was obvious that despite her age, she was determined to participate in this event no matter how long it took her to finish. By the way, when I got home, I looked it up on the internet. That Del Mar Susan Komen Event is a 3-day 60-mile walk!

Witnessing that little old lady make such a great effort to support a worthy cause made quite an impression on me… and it got me thinking. There are so many stories in the Bible where God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things all the time. Like Moses, David, Jonah, Tamar and Rahab. None of them started out as anything special, but yet they all ended up as inspirational people in the bible. So you don’t have to be a celebrity, or a sports star, or even the President of the United States to inspire others to do the right thing. You just have to be willing to participate in doing the right thing… and do it in front of others. And hey, who knows, you might even look pretty in pink!

The reassuring lesson is clear. God uses ordinary people 

to change the world. Not saints or superhumans, 

just people. Crooks, creeps, lovers and liars, he uses them all. 

And what they may lack in perfection, God makes up for in love.
~ Max Lucado

Character Counts

Today is Veteran’s Day and it got me thinking about the meaning of character. I don’t know if having good character is something you are born with or whether it is something that is learned and developed over time. But what I do know, is that in today’s crazy busy society our “character” is constantly being tested in small ways, as well every so often in a huge way. Let me give you two examples to think about.

I recently went to get a haircut from a young talkative hair stylist whom I’ve known for many years. She is newly married, so I asked her what attracted her to her new husband. She told me a story. They came out of a grocery store together after shopping and when they got to his car, he noticed what looked like a wad of money on the ground. He picked it up and said someone must have dropped their cash. He then said, “We need to wait here in case they come back.” My hair stylist friend said she told him the chances that the person will realize where they dropped it and come back any time soon are pretty slim, but he was determined to wait. They waited together for over an hour but eventually spotted a young mother with two small children scouring the parking lot for something. The smile on that woman’s face when she got her money back, was worth every minute of the wait.

A friend of mine and his wife were recently returning from vacation when they decided to stop at a large Outlet Center off the 60 Freeway. My friend was waiting outside a store while his wife shopped when he noticed a small crowd gathered nearby. He walked over and noticed that there were two Hispanic women frantically trying to perform the Heimlich maneuver on a small girl. It must have been the girl’s mother and grandmother who were trying to help her, but the girl wasn’t responding and went limp. My friend immediately stepped up to the women and put his hands out. With fear and desperation in her eyes, and a lifeless little girl in her arms, the mother handed her over to him. My friend flipped the little girl upside down over his knee and began pounding his palm into the girl’s back. He told me it seemed like forever but that it was probably only 10 seconds before the little girl coughed and spit up some fluid. A few seconds later, a large wad of popcorn came flying out. She choked and coughed some more, but she also started breathing again. The situation could have ended very badly, but it didn’t because someone had the character and the courage to step up and help.  

The two stories above might seem like two very different examples of character. One is simply about returning a lost item, while the other is about returning someone to life. But they are related… Because if we cannot be trusted to do what is right with the small things, how can we be counted on to do what’s right when there is a life on the line.

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much; 

and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.

~ Luke 16:10

Temptation and Endurance

Okay, let me just put it out there and say it for the whole world to hear. “I have a drinking problem.” Wait, that’s not really accurate, let me restate that. “I have a problem with drinking.” No, that is still not correct. “I have a problem and it is related to not drinking.” There we go, that’s more accurate. But let me explain and maybe you can help me solve my problem.

First off, I like to drink beer. More specifically, nice cold IPA beers on the weekend. So when my wife and I went on vacation recently to Kauai, I made sure I stocked the refrigerator at our rental house with plenty of Hawaiian “Big Swell” IPA beer. Every day we went to the beach, or went swimming in the pool, or paddle-boarded, or played golf, and it was so much fun. We were on vacation, so we relaxed our normal constraints and ate and drank whatever we wanted. The only downside was that besides getting nice Hawaiian tans, we also gained some nice Hawaiian weight.

When we got home my wife suggested we start dieting together from now until Christmas. It was more like a healthy eating plan coupled with a structured workout routine. So, without really thinking about it, I agreed and helped write out the fitness programs for both of us. As we got started on the healthy eating plan, my wife explained to me that I wouldn’t be able to drink beer. Yikes! Wait a minute! I need to rethink this whole idea. “Too late”, she said. “You already agreed!”

So herein lies the problem. In my normal routine at home, I don’t drink during the work week but will almost always have some IPA beers on the weekend. I’ve never thought about it that much, or worried about it, but now that I am being told I can’t drink beer… I can’t stop thinking about it! And now that it’s become forbidden fruit, every beer commercial on TV is making me nuts. Why is that? Why is it that when we can have something we like, it’s not a big deal? But take it away from us and it becomes huge.

Maybe its just human nature. Weren’t Adam and Eve given a beautiful world filled with flowers and trees, fish and animals, and plenty of food.  And weren’t they told they could eat anything and everything they wanted, except from that one little tree in the center of the garden, the “Tree of Life”. So what did they do? They went stupid and ate the forbidden fruit. What is wrong with us humans!!!

I’ve been on the program for a while now, so I’m getting used to it, but I definitely have to fight temptation. So I came up with an idea. They say that the only way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a different habit. So I went to the store and bought Gatorade G2, plus two protein juice drinks, Mango Orange and Berry Blast. I take all three and mix them over ice and it creates a really good tasting drink that is healthy. It might sound silly, but when I drink the G2 juice, it not only tastes great, it makes me feel good about myself. Did I solve the problem? No... But I did come up with a way to endure it!

And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. 

But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

~ 1 Corinthians 10:13

No More Pain

When I was 10 years old, I loved my riding my bicycle really fast. At that time, our family lived in El Toro Marine Corps Housing near the foothills. One day, I got going way too fast down a steep hill and lost control. By the time I was able to scrape myself off the street, blood was pouring out from both of my knees. I cried the whole way home as I pushed my mangled bicycle back up the hill. Funny thing is, within a week my injuries were a distant memory and my knees were pretty much healed up.

My physical pain was gone, but the emotional trauma was still there. Not the trauma from the fall, the trauma from embarrassment. Apparently, several kids on my street saw me lose control and eat it hard. They thought it was super funny and made sure to tell everyone at school what a lousy bike rider I was. When I think back, I can still hear the kids in the school hallway laughing at me.

However, as I’ve gotten older, I realize that things kind of reverse as we mature. Let me explain.

A month ago, I went to Costco and bought several of those large 40 bottle cases of water. As I carried one into the house, I banged the back of my hand against a sharp corner of the countertop. It hurt like heck and I dripped blood all the way back out to my truck. Here it is one month later, and my hand still hurts, plus the wound hasn’t healed up yet. So I still have to wear a stupid band-aid every single day.

Also about a month ago, I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in 20 years. He’s a lot younger than me and the first thing he did was to comment about my “gray hair” and the second thing he did was to ask me how it felt to be “getting old”. Both of those comments reminded me of what a jerk he was, but at the same time, I realized his comments didn’t truly bother me at all. I’ve discovered that one of the benefits of “aging” is learning to take things in stride and not worry so much about what other people think.

At that got me thinking… Young people usually heal quickly from physical pain but not so fast from emotional hurts because they lack maturity. So, the sooner we learn that we have the ability within ourselves to flatten out some of those steep hills in life by simply deciding who we will let hurt us and who we won’t, the smoother our ride will be!

It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.

~ Brigitte Bardot

Love Actually

My wife’s birthday was on Saturday and since we’ve been together for over 25 years, I wanted to do something special for her. I know this sounds corny, but it’s also kind of romantic. I bought her a diamond ring (actually a round bracelet with diamonds on it), and then I wrote out a marriage proposal (actually it was more like a will you stay married to me forever proposal), and then I got down on one knee and recited my proposal by memory (actually I messed it up at one point but then finally got through it). And guess what, she actually said Yes!

Why am I so happy to be married to this woman? I can give you a million reasons but let me just say that her wisdom far exceeds that of anyone I’ve ever met. She always gives me and everyone else great advice, and sometimes I actually take it! I can prove how wise she is because I asked her some difficult questions on her 40^th birthday (actually she might be older than 40 but I can’t put her real age down in writing). Her answers were quite telling.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received? If you don’t have something nice to say, don't say anything.

How should a person handle getting older? Naturally, gracefully, find your own voice.

What’s the best way to handle criticism? Thoughtfully.

What is the secret to a happy marriage? Being able to consistently put yourself second.

Is it ever okay to lie? No.

What role should vanity play in a person’s life? Give yourself 10 minutes in the morning, that’s it.

What human quality do you most admire? Generosity.

What human quality do you most deplore? Getting energy from hurting others.

What advice would you give your younger self? Leave mean people out of your life, family or not.

How should a person handle regret? Learn from it and move on.

What’s the best cure for heartache? Time, and maybe a little more time.

What adventure most changed your life? Meeting my husband.

Will you be my wife for the rest of my life? Yes.

Why? Love actually!

Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.

~ Michael Leunig 

Everyday Hero

As I write this, my wife and I are on vacation, staying in an awesome rental home on the beautiful island of Kauai. The stress started to melt away the moment we stepped off the plane and felt the warm tropical humidity and the smell of the sweet plumeria flowers. Not that regular life is all that tough, but when you combine going to work with fighting the Orange County traffic, caring for multiple grandchildren, helping out other family members, and visiting sick friends, life can get a bit overwhelming at times. So, when we get to take a vacation, we tend to really enjoy it!

However, this morning while we were sitting on the balcony watching a huge Cruise Ship leave the Harbor, we got a text message from a friend. He told us he was leaving on vacation as well, heading out to the Bahamas. What a lucky guy! Except his vacation will be a lot different than ours, because he is a lot different than us… and let me explain why.

I cannot use his real name because he works undercover for the DEA. So, let’s call him Rick. Rick is an amazing guy whose bravery is only surpassed by the size of his heart. In his job with the DEA he focuses on chasing the Mexican Drug Cartel. He has captured lots of really, really, bad guys and he has recovered millions in laundered money along with thousands of pounds of illegal drugs. For months he will disappear underground, and we won’t hear from him or be able to reach him. And then he will surface for a few days, and typically go to the beach with his dog “Sid” to catch a brief respite from what has to be one of the most dangerous jobs on earth. As a former Marine with several tours of duty in war torn areas before joining the DEA, Rick is able to handle extreme stress. But even Rick needs a vacation once in a while.

So lucky Rick is going to the Bahamas, except he’s not bringing his bathing suit. Instead, Rick will be flying with a group of military veterans and first responders known as Team Rubicon who are trained to deliver aid and relief supplies to areas hit hard by natural disasters. On September 1^st, the eye of Hurricane Dorian, a category 5 hurricane, made landfall on the Abaco Islands in the Bahamas with sustained winds of 185 mpg, making it the strongest hurricane ever on record to affect the Bahamas. More than 50 people lost their lives and the damage was so intense that it is estimated it will take more than $7 billion to rebuild. Rick will be one of the first… to get that rebuilding effort started.

Rick’s idea of a vacation is to go to disaster areas and help needy people. Is it fun and relaxing? No. So why does Rick do it? Because he tends to really enjoy it!

"Rick" doing his regular job... and doing it well!

Down in their hearts, wise men know this truth. 

The only way to help yourself is to help others.

  ~ Elbert Hubbard
 

                               

Boom!

A couple of days ago, my wife asked me to file some papers in our safe. As I was filing the paperwork, I accidentally dropped a folder that contained some of my old personal documents. My High School Diploma and my birth certificate fell out on the floor, along with a certificate showing that I had completed a membership class in 1971 at the Fallbrook Presbyterian Church.

Looking over that certificate brought back a lot of memories, some good, some not so good. I was only 16 at the time and my parents were getting ready to move to San Francisco, leaving me behind to finish High School on my own. I’m ashamed to admit it, but after my parents left, I stopped attending church. I was a Christian and I had faith, but my view of God at that time was that he was this master being, way up in the sky, watching over us to make sure we didn’t do wrong. (Kind of like my High School Vice Principal.) I believed in God at that young age, but I didn’t feel personally connected to Him because my perception was that he was so far away and basically unapproachable.

As a mature adult (okay, more like an old man now), my perception of God is very different. I’ll give you a few reasons why. The morning after finding that certificate on the floor, I was sitting by our sliding glass door that opens to the beach, silently praying. I was deep into thought, giving thanks and also asking for forgiveness for a specific mistake I had made, when I noticed one of those rare moments when the ocean goes completely silent, just for a second or two. The silence was followed by a huge “boom” from multiple waves crashing violently at the same time, so loud that it startled me. But what happened next gave me outright goose bumps. Maybe it was just a simple breeze, or maybe it was just wind created by the perfect timing of crashing waves. But whatever it was, it washed over me and enveloped me like a warm blanket and I absolutely knew at that moment, that God was right there with me. Oh, you can call me crazy, or I’m sure you can explain it in a hundred different scientific waves, but I’ve never had a feeling like that before… and I loved it!

Later that evening my wife and I attended a party at a friend’s house in Laguna Beach. Their home is absolutely stunning. It sits way up on top of Bluebird Canyon with a panoramic view of the ocean and Catalina Island. We had a wonderful dinner, and then went for a swim in the pool. At one point, I walked over to the far end of the pool by myself and stared out at the majestic view of a perfect sunset. Evening was falling and I was a bit cold from swimming in the pool, but as I stood there, I pictured God, not way up in heaven, but standing right there next to me… and it happened again. A warm blanket of God’s breath wrapped around me… and I loved it because I realized I was feeling His love. All I can say is, “Sometimes life goes Boom… and perceptions are shattered!”

Peace on the outside comes from knowing God on the inside.  

                              ~ Anonymous                                

Live and Give

Growing up, I can remember money being a problem for our family at times, yet my Dad always had a smile on his face. He was in the Marine Corps and his income was limited, so he worked weekends at a gas station. My Mom mainly stayed home to care of my sister and me, but sometimes, when money was tight, she would take night-time waitress jobs to supplement our income. So early on in life I learned the importance of working and providing for your family, but what I didn’t understand was the role of money.

As I grew into a teenager, I realized my parents couldn’t afford to buy me very much, so I got my first job at 14 pruning avocado trees for $1.25/hour. At 16, I got an after-school job at a gas station, making $1.75/hour and eventually saved up enough money to buy an old 1960 Chevy Pickup, which helped me get to school and work. It seemed like I had more money than my friends because most of them didn’t have jobs yet, and that gave me a certain feeling of confidence I had never experienced before. And I admit it felt good! The only problem was that in school, they don’t teach you how to manage money, so over the years, I made quite a few mistakes with money that I sure do regret.

What I don’t regret is being generous to my friends in school who didn’t have any money. I’ll never forget how fun it was the first time I treated two of my buddies to a night on the town. By that I mean driving into town in my truck, going to the A&W Root Beer for burgers, and then catching a movie at the Theater on Main Street. I paid for everything with my gas station money and all three of us enjoyed the heck out of it.

Fast forward, I’m 64 years old and I just recently discovered a radio program on financial matters hosted by Dave Ramsey. Dave teaches people how to manage money and stay out of debt. He is also a best-selling author whose books have helped over 5 million people become debt free. He guarantees anyone can become an “everyday millionaire” if they follow his seven simple steps to financial freedom. I’ve now read every single one of his books and love the fact that young people finally have a simple road map to managing money that was never available before.

But do you know what Dave’s number one rule is for achieving financial success? Be generous…and he’s right! When I think back about how cool it was to be able to buy that old Chevy Truck, it was nothing compared to being able to put some smiles on my friends faces!

Live like no one else so that you can 

live and give like no one else.

~ Dave Ramsey

No Accident (By Dr. Jim Kahal)

A friend of mine recently told me, “There are no accidents in life, only lessons to be learned” That statement goes well with my Monday Message below.

I have been happily living my life now for many years. I have a loving family, an awesome wife, a great career, and enough free time to not get totally burned out, but there was still something missing. I have never been able to put my finger on why… until I made a new friend. I am a dentist and the person I met was actually a patient of mine first, so I have known him for several years.

However, it was not until recently that I really got to know him and how he lives his life. He too has a wonderful family, an awesome wife, and plenty of free time. But unlike me he seems totally content with himself and his life. Unlike me, he starts every day with a prayer. He gives of himself and his money selflessly and he has great faith in God. It’s not that I don’t have faith, but it is not without question. I wonder why there are mass shootings almost every month, why there are so many homeless in such a rich country, and why as a culture we worship reality stars that can barely dent a seat cushion.

I guess you could say, I have “light faith”. But since I have met this man, I realize what the void is in my life. We all know that the trifecta of happiness is mind, body and spirit and my spirit and generosity are just not where they should be. Sure, I donate to a few charities and I help a patient in need occasionally, but that is easy. So now, I have decided to be committed to meditation and/or prayer every single day and I am going to try to be a more selfless person. I am going to work on my spirit!

By now, I have a feeling that you all know who I am talking about. He is the man behind the Monday Messages, and I want to thank him for showing me how I can enrich my life by going from “light faith” to “complete faith” in God. This was no accident!

One true friend can add more to our happiness 

than a thousand enemies add to our unhappiness.

~ Anonymous

Third Times

Do you ever wonder where those “old sayings” come from? You know what I mean, ones like “things always happen in threes”. I don’t know where that one came from, but it certainly came into play for me and some of my family members recently.

1. Three months ago, I wrote a Monday Message about losing my wallet. I wrote about how I felt like I was getting older and starting to lose things, and how the panic set in when I realized my wallet was missing. Fortunately, I found it two days later, but the damage was already done.

2. Three weeks ago, I got a phone call from my youngest son, David, who was in a panic. His first words were, “Dad, I’m in trouble”. All kinds of scary thoughts immediately went through my head and then he clarified it for me. “I can’t find my wallet!” Fortunately, later that evening his wallet turned up hiding in the cushions of the couch.

3. Three days ago, my wife and I met our kids and grandkids at the Del Mar Racetrack to celebrate my oldest son Cameron’s birthday. We had a great time, despite mostly losing every bet, but on the way home my wife suddenly yelled out in a panic. “I can’t find my wallet!” Sure enough, her wallet was missing from her purse and unfortunately it hasn’t turned up yet, but from some reason I am confident that it will.

That’s a pretty good example of things happening in threes for sure. But there are lots of old sayings and maybe they’re called “old sayings” because they come from stories in the Bible? For example, I remember reading in Luke about how Jesus said that Peter would deny knowing him three times before the rooster crowed. Maybe that’s where that particular saying about “things always happening in threes” came from?

I don’t know for sure, but it got me thinking… Isn’t there a story in the Bible about Jesus dying and being raised from the dead three days later. That story gave me an idea for another old saying we should always remember, one that I need to share with my wife right away to keep her hopes up about finding her wallet, “The third time is a charm!”

On the third day, He rose again from the dead.

~ Apostle’s Creed 12

A Bright Spot

When I started my first business back in 1980, I was laser focused on making the business a success. I worked crazy long hours and thought about work every waking moment. I thought all I had to do was work super hard by myself and I would be a huge success. After a while I realized my life sucked and the business wasn’t even close to becoming a success. Fortunately, after about a year, a light bulb went on, and I realized that trying to do everything by myself wasn’t the formula for success or happiness. I also realized at the same time that “one” really is the loneliest number.

That was an important lesson for me to learn at a young age, but it can be an easy one to forget. Fortunately, I’ve had multiple reminders over the years that two heads are better than one, and that sometimes multiple heads are better than two. In fact, I had three reminders this week.

1. I was called out on Monday as a lighting consultant for a project at the Dana Point Harbor. They put in a new sign, but the single LED spotlight installed created a glaring bright spot on the front of the sign. The solution was to use two fixtures instead of one and mount them at opposing angles.

2. I was also called out last week to help with illuminating the new marquee on the front of The Barclay Theatre at UCI. Five new LED fixtures were installed, but they created bright spots on the sign with dark shadows in between, which was not a good look. The answer was to add two more fixtures and space all seven of them closer together to even out the illumination.

3. Lastly, my name was drawn out of a hat last week to play in the Coto Charity Golf Classic. As the lucky winner, I was able to bring my wife along as a teammate. When we arrived, we discovered we were paired with a dapper 74-year-old gentleman, who previously starred in Broadway Musicals and who also sung the Star-Spangled Banner at Dodger Stadium for 32 years in a row. Our fourth team member was an 80-year-old who co-created the “Chicken Soup” books as well as his own publishing company. So you might think that three old dudes and a woman would have no chance at winning a Golf Tournament. Okay, so you’d be right. But there were a couple of bright spots. Our “singer” at one time had an 8 index and could still drive the ball long and straight. Our “author” might have had a handicapped flag on his cart, but his short game around the greens wasn’t handicapped at all. And my wife had the round of her life, driving the ball farther than any of us old guys on several holes and dropping a 35-foot putt for a birdie on the 4^th hole. My point is, if I had played by myself, I would have shot 14 over par. With the help of a few friends, we shot a very respectable 4 over par.  

And that got me thinking… If you’re looking for a bright spot in life, maybe all you have to do is shine on a light on those people closest to you!

So powerful is the light of unity that it can illuminate the whole earth.

~ Baha’ullah

Time to Think

Two months ago, I was diagnosed with a small area of skin cancer on my chest.  This happened because I am the idiot who lives at the beach who forgets to use sunscreen most of the time. Fortunately, it’s not the kind that will kill me, but it is the kind that requires treatment 5 days a week for 6 weeks, and it’s kind of painful and a whole lot annoying. It’s also a reminder that life is fragile, and time is our most precious commodity, which got me thinking how fast time goes by… or does it?

For a while now I’ve made it a habit to give a daily prayer of thanks every morning. It’s usually just a short and simple prayer of gratitude for being given another day. But it’s also a fact that someday I’m not going to wake up, so I’m pretty darn thankful for each day that I do and figure it can’t hurt to express it. Saturday morning, as I finished up with my final skin treatment, my morning moment of contemplation and prayer got me thinking about how I use the time I am given each day, and whether or not I am I using it wisely?

That question was still rolling around in my head when I got ready for bed that night. So I took my wife’s hands, placed them in mine, and offered up a different type of prayer. Instead of short and simple, I took the time to give specific and detailed thanks for every single thing that happened on Saturday. I gave thanks for the way the sun rose over the beautiful blue ocean outside my window when I got up at the crack of dawn, for getting to play golf with an old friend and make a new friend at the same time, for the great breakfast my wife cooked for me when I got home, for the nice text message I got from one of my children, for getting to visit a sick friend in the hospital and brighten his day, for getting some work done on my computer, for being able to afford 3 large pizzas at Costco, for taking said pizzas to a family poker game at my Father-in-Law’s house, for getting to play cards and laugh with 10 members of my immediate family, for making it home safely after being a big loser in said poker game, for getting to watch a Little League game on TV, and so much more. By the time I was done, I realized that a typical day in my life may seem short, but in reality, I am involved in dozens and dozens of wonderful and interesting things that happen every single day.

Does time really go by too fast? Maybe, maybe not. If we take time to think about all the things that are happening in our daily lives… as they are happening… those small and simple moments can remind us just how awesome life really is.

How long a minute is, depends on 

which side of the bathroom door you’re on.

~ Zall’s Second Law 

Competitive by Nature

Competition is a fact of life, but is it a good thing? From the very moment we’re born we are competing for something… on some level… somewhere. Competition is never ending so we can either be intimidated by it or embrace it, but the one thing we can’t do is ignore it.

I never got to play a competitive sport or even a team sport like Little League when I was a child growing up. But I do remember the feeling of competition in school. The competition to get good grades, to be the first in line at the cafeteria, to fit in with the “in crowd”, and so much more. Most of the time I wasn’t comfortable with the whole concept of competition, but I accepted it like it was a necessary evil. Like I said, you can’t ignore it.

Later in life I had the chance to play competitive baseball on a Men’s Senior Baseball League team. I discovered that I loved being part of a team that was striving to achieve a goal. The feeling you get when you lose sucks, but the feeling of triumphant victory you get when you and your teammates play well together is an adrenalin rush that is hard to find anywhere else. Bonding with teammates, practicing together, traveling to out of town tournaments together, all of it add up to magic moments that will last a lifetime.

I’m not saying that competition is always fun and always easy, it’s not. I have vivid memories of my legs shaking and my stomach churning when it was my turn to bat in the final moments of a championship ball game. Sometimes I was so scared of failing, and so scared of letting my teammates down, that I wanted to quit the team and stay home. But overcoming that fear was in a way, its own kind of triumphant victory. Never quit on your team and never quit on yourself... and you’ll discover one of the most important life lessons you can ever learn.

Nowadays, I’m not able to play competitive baseball anymore due to a balky back. But I discovered that I can still play golf, so I’ve gotten serious about it and I’m striving (competing!) to get to a single digit handicap. I discovered that golf is extremely challenging in its own way and although most of the time you’re competing against yourself, it is fun once in a while to challenge a buddy to a friendly match. Recently, one of my closest friends challenged me to a hotly contested “match play” event and it really got my competitive juices flowing. I fought hard to win, but ultimately lost the match. However, what my friend said to me after closing me out actually made me feel like I was still a winner. He said, “When I compete against other people, I’m always hoping for them to blow it. But when I compete against you, I can't bring myself to root against you.” Competition is something we cannot ignore, but true friendship is something we can always embrace!

I am too positive to be doubtful, 

too optimistic to be fearful, 

and too determined to be defeated.

~ Jack Nicklaus