Perfect Timing

Have you ever heard the saying, “Timing is everything”? I have, and I believe it applies to a lot of things in life, both good and bad.

Just over four years ago, Covid slammed headfirst into us and put a halt to just about everything that was formally part of our normal lives. The work stoppage happened immediately, confounding my efforts to get a new business off the ground. I couldn’t visit clients for fear of contracting (or spreading) the virus, so I found myself floundering and frustrated. That’s when my golf journey truly started.

I couldn’t work, but I could go to the golf course and work out my frustrations on a little white ball. I had played golf on and off for years, and really liked it. So I was glad to have it as a fun option. Problem was finding someone to golf with. That’s where the timing thing comes in.

I showed up extremely early one morning knowing I would get paired up with strangers. Strangers who may or may not want me joining their group. In fact, the previous week I got paired up with a father and son. But the father asked me not to play so he could spend quality time with his son. I understood, but I also has to stand there for over an hour before finally getting paired up with a three-some that didn’t speak English. Not a lot of fun. But this time, instead of strangers, one of my best friends from my Halo Baseball Club days was standing on the first tee with his wife and another buddy. They needed a fourth and as luck (and timing) would have it, I was at the right place at the right time.

Our foursome has now played golf together almost every single Wednesday since that fateful day we “accidentally” got paired up. And every time we play a round of golf, I love it more and more. Our friendships have grown, my golf game has improved, and my outlook on life is more positive for several reasons, not the least of which is I get to play a game outdoors, in a beautiful environment, with people I really enjoy. I look forward to it every week. But was it “divine timing”, or was it an accident?

Hard to say for sure, but I remember another saying that’s popular. “When one door closes, another one opens.” Covid may have shut the door on a lot of our normal social activities, and it may have temporarily closed the door on my business at the worst possible time. But it was no accident that I got paired up with the perfect people because I’m pretty sure God is a scratch golfer whose His timing is always perfect!   

“Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, 

but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club.”

~ Henry Beard

The Future Looks Bright

Not long ago I sat at my desk for a very long time and wrote a compelling Monday Message about the Millennial Generation. I wrote it because I wanted to make a point about work ethic and how important it is for the future of our society. Unfortunately, Millennials have been characterized as being entitled and wanting all the benefits without having to work hard. I don’t believe that’s necessarily a fair characterization because as the father of four Millennial children, all four have made their way in this world, faced a ton of trials, and ended up as extremely productive citizens that I am very proud of. 

Okay, so maybe some Millennials are hard workers, and some not so much. But I’ve also noticed some are very smart. In fact, if you look up the definition of Millennials you will find they are often characterized as being progressive, tech-savvy, and the most socially connected generation of all time. I think only time will tell if they are able to use their technology and social media connections to truly better the world. I, for one, am rooting for them.

But just in case they don’t, there is another generation, Gen Z, following close behind them that is already showing tremendous potential. How do I know that? Because I have several grandchildren that age who are kind and considerate. Okay, so you think I’m prejudiced, and maybe I am just a little. But yesterday there were two young Gen Z kids in my garage (not members of my family) dropping off big fat envelopes of cash to wife for her charity program that supports Foster Children. Apparently, they got together, along with another friend, and came up with the idea to set up a lemonade stand as a way to raise money. And I don’t know if it was the lemonade, or their cute faces, or the flyers explaining the reason behind their efforts that got them so much attention. But whatever it was, it worked!

It's impossible to predict what the future will look like. But from where I sit, it looks pretty bright to me!

“Be humble. Be hungry. And always be the hardest worker in the room.”

                                                                                                                    ~ Dwayne Johnson

She Seemed Happy

I try not to judge people because I know it’s wrong. But it’s a hard thing not to do sometimes.

For example, last week my wife and I went to the R&D Restaurant at Fashion Island in Newport Beach for lunch. They are famous for their exceptional cuisine, and we haven’t been there in years, so we were really looking forward to it.  Unfortunately, it was super crowded with the all of the high finance and upper-level businesspeople that work in the super tall ivory skyscrapers that encircle Newport Center.

So we thought about it and decided to order “lunch to go”. Like I said, it was really busy, and every table was full, so we waited outside the entrance. I didn’t really mind waiting because the people-watching was undeniably interesting. There was the guy with perfectly groomed hair and perfectly trimmed nails, wearing an expensive suit, but I think he forgot to put socks on. Oh wait, that’s a style, right? And there were numerous young women dressed to the nines, wearing uncomfortably high shoes, carrying uncomfortably expensive purses. Funny thing was… none of them were smiling. In fact, at times it almost seemed like a contest and the stress of “looking best” was getting to them. None of them seemed happy.

But when I got up to stretch my legs, I noticed a woman all by herself. She wasn’t heading into the R&D Restaurant. She was instead busy working in the courtyard next to it. She was an older woman, with a gray ponytail under a gray baseball cap, and instead of a Versace handbag, she had a broom in her hand. She was sweeping leaves off of the courtyard but there was a bit of a breeze, so every time she swept the leaves one step forward, they would blow two steps back. I saw her dilemma, but I also noticed her determination. She swept faster, and she swept harder, and after 15 minutes she finally got all those leaves back into the planter area.

When our lunch was ready we picked it up and headed to the parking lot. As we passed by the ritzy Neiman Marcus Store and the fancy Lugano Diamonds Store with their high-priced jewelry on display, I saw her again. She was emptying a trash can next to the sidewalk. As I walked by, I thought about her work ethic, how even though most of the time nobody notices her, she probably works hard all the time, taking pride in doing a good job. As I walked by, she looked up and smiled. She seemed happy.

There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.

~ William J. Bennet

Better Days

I messed up last week and had a bad day. And it’s not the first time.

It started when I was just a little kid playing with matches. I told my Dad a lie, that it wasn’t me. It felt bad to lie to my Dad, but I was scared and didn’t want him to be mad at me.

As I grew to become a teenager, my sins grew as well. One time, I “borrowed” the neighbor’s jeep when he was on vacation and took it for a quick joy ride. He noticed it had been driven, said something to my Dad about it, but I never confessed. My Dad was a good man, my neighbor was a good man. But I was not a man yet. And that wasn’t the only thing I did wrong as a teenager.

When I finally became a man, with a wife and child, I changed a lot. And so did my sins. My mistakes were now wrapped around things like greed, lust, and jealousy. You know, adult type sins. Bigger sins. Sins that at times, made me very ashamed of myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been what you would consider a bad person. I never intentionally hurt anyone, or stole from anyone, or tried to cause anybody a problem. In fact, I went out of my way to be generous and help others with my time, money, and energy. Still do. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t mess up then and that I don’t mess up now. And when I do, I always think back and ask myself, “Why did I do that?” Knowing the answer to that question is extremely important.

I found the answer to that question one day when I was still in my thirties. I’ll never forget that day, nor the sin that I committed. I was super upset at myself, super sad, and feeling completely alone. So I went for a walk, a very long walk, until I finally sat down on a huge rock on the side of the road. I was in a lot of pain. I felt lost and couldn’t stop crying. I felt so totally alone, but then I remembered what the pastor at our church told us, “We are never truly alone.” So I bowed my head, confessed my sin, and asked for forgiveness. I also prayed for the wisdom and strength to avoid that type of mistake again. It felt good to confess and to admit the reason I messed up. I realized that day that knowing why we make mistakes is the first step to avoiding them. I also realized that I don’t need to be scared that He will be mad at me. The very next day… was a much better day!

And you asked me what I want this year

And I’ll try to make this kind and clear

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
Tonight's the night the world begins again.

~ from the song "Better Days" by the Goo Goo Dolls

LIFE LESSON NUMBER ONE

My two grandchildren who live in Spokane, WA, have been staying with us for the past two weeks as part of their summer vacation. They are 11 and 14, which are fun ages, and just to prove it… we have already been to Wild Rivers, Laser Tag, Disneyland, and of course “In-And-Out” Burger multiple times. My wallet might be empty, but my stomach sure is full! 

We’ve had a lot of fun and we’ve talked a ton, and I have to say that I’ve learned a few things from both of them. For example I now know more about Taylor Swift than I ever thought possible, and I learned that the wrong type of mouse when you are gaming can make you less than swift. But as I learned things from them, I also pondered what can I teach them in return? What one important life lesson could I share with them that might help them the most as they grow into adults and get hit by raging real world reality?

Yesterday, my grandson and I were talking about baseball, and he asked to see my MSBL World Series Ring. I said, “Sure”, happy to show off that big shiny ring and regale him with stories about the thrill of victory. However, I had to think about where it was. I hadn’t taken it out or looked at it for years, but when I finally found it in the bottom of my sock drawer, it gave me an idea for a truly important life lesson.

I had already shared with my grandson the story of my own personal baseball journey. How I sucked at it for 10 straight years until one day, when I made three errors and struck out three times in a row and said to myself… that’s the last time I’m gonna fail! I hired myself a coach, took a thousand ground balls, and hit baseballs until my hands bled, and eventually got good enough to be asked to join a select team of ballplayers headed to the MSBL World Series in Phoenix.

That’s a good life lesson in itself, that practice and hard work can lead to success. But that’s not the important lesson. The real lesson, the most important lesson that I learned from playing baseball, had to do with relationships, not RBI’s. I made friends on my baseball team who will be my friends for life. They picked me up when I was down, and I did the same for them. Many times we went home bleeding, but smiling, sharing a love for the game, and a love for each other. To this day, if any one of my baseball buddies called me and needed my help, I would be there for them faster than a four-seamer down the middle. To this day we still stay in touch, we still love baseball, and we still love each other. Rings can rust and trophies can get trashed, but a true friend is better than a “Double-Double with Animal Fries” any day!

Remember two things, play hard and have fun!

~ Tony Gwynn, Hall of Fame Baseball Player

Long Distance Connections

My wife and I were recently on vacation in South Lake Tahoe, and for the first time in months we were truly relaxing. The first morning I woke up at 5:24am and I realized I am not working - for a change - so my hands were empty. Instead of busy hands, I was staring out the window of a country style cabin with a gorgeous view of Lake Tahoe. The air was clear, the pine trees were tall, and the water was the brightest blue I have ever seen. It was so pretty there I couldn’t wait for my family to wake up and join me for a hike to a beautiful little hidden gem called Lake Angora. 

I felt blessed and happy because about half of my children and grandchildren were able to join up with us. My oldest daughter and her family drove up from Orange County. They have three children plus a new 20-month-old baby daughter who is absolutely overflowing with personality. And my oldest son and his wife and two awesome kids drove almost 900 miles from Spokane, Washington, to join us. We don’t get to see them very often, so we were excited to spend time with them. I mean, we call, and we text, and we facetime with them, but it’s not the same as actually spending time together. Being long distance from the people you love, and friends you care about, can make it hard to feel connected.  

So now that I am back home, I know I need to make the effort to stay in touch with my family and friends. Especially with my grandson who lives in Denver that I only get to see once or twice a year, and my other grandson who lives not too far away in Riverside, but I still don’t see him enough. I love them both and would love to spend more time with them, but I struggle to make that happen. I don’t want to lose my connection with them or my connection with my grandkids in Spokane, nor do I want to lose my connection with so many of my family and friends who have moved away. Why? Because when I think about it, being connected to people I care about brings me a lot of joy!

Not long ago, I wrote a Monday Message where I criticized people for being on their phones so much. But now that I think about it, I’m glad we can have our phones in our hands so that we can use them to talk to and feel connected to our loved ones. But I am also grateful that I don’t even need a phone to connect with God, I just need my two hands empty… clasped together.

Angora Lake

The strange thing about seeing someone for the first time in ten years, is the way they look totally different, just for a second, a split second, and then they look like they always have, as if no time has passed between you.

~ Rainbow Rowell

 

When Life Changes (By Debby Thrailkill)

With a few harsh words, his life changed forever. He hadn’t meant the cursory string of consonants and vowels that slipped quietly past his lips, and unfortunately into the ears of nearby coworkers. It was forgotten instantly, an almost thoughtless moment, as quick as the sting of a bee… the result far more painful.

My friend’s ill-timed utterance cost him a highly valued job at a premier California destination Resort. It was his dream job, one that he competed for and worked hard at for many years. He loved it to his core. And just like that it was gone. For weeks he was devastated, angry at himself, shocked, empty, motionless.

Before this happened, life hadn’t exactly been a bed of roses. He worked tirelessly six days a week at two jobs; The second job provided extra money so that he could afford to keep the coveted lower paying position at the Resort that he loved. And then his father suddenly passed away just as he was on a transcontinental flight to be with his Dad over the holidays. The time meant for a family reunion and celebration… was instead spent in crisis management and grieving.

We never know what tomorrow will bring. My friend certainly never expected this turn of events. I know it’s important to try to help others when they are in need, but after listening to his story, offering support was the best I could do. But then I was pleased to hear that he was taking steps to forge a new path. Although it was an unwanted fresh start, he was bravely holding his head up and beginning to move on. I am proud of him for facing this challenge head on.

We all face great challenges when life suddenly changes. All God given days, every second of them, are the greatest blessing. And knowing you have a friend to listen and encourage you can be important to healing. So remember, when your day is going great, finding time to be a friend will fill your heart, as well as theirs.

If you need me, I am here. If you don’t, I will still be here.

~ Anonymous