The Power of Love

Thirty years ago, I read a book that dramatically changed my life for the better. The “Greatest Secret in the World” contained 10 secret scrolls that were guidelines to live by and you were supposed to read each scroll 3x a day for a month in order to absorb the information into your subconscious. I followed those instructions and found that it worked for me and those guidelines have been a part of my life ever since.

Last week, I was showing the book to a friend and afterwards I decided that it might be a good idea for me to go through a “refresher course”. So, I decided to read each scroll three times a day for a week over the next 10 weeks. I started Monday with the first scroll that begins, “I will greet each day with love in my heart.” The essence of that scroll is to greet everyone you meet by saying silently to yourself, “I love you.” And letting that love show through your actions and words, which is not necessarily an easy thing to do!

Sure enough, I was tested on Tuesday. If you live at the beach and have a carport instead of a garage, you shouldn’t own a black truck. But being not so very brilliant, that’s what I own. Every day it’s covered with sea salt spray and needs to be constantly washed. So Tuesday I went to a Chevron Station with a drive through car wash. As I was pulling in, a man came rushing out on foot with a receipt in hand. Instantly I knew that something was wrong and as I turned the corner I could see his car stopped at the controller, with only wife and dog still in the car. It was about 10 minutes before the driver came back with a new receipt and for the next 5 minutes he tried to punch in the info but couldn’t get it to work. I’m getting bummed because I need to get to an appointment. Eventually his wife gets out of the car with the receipt in hand and as she walks by me I roll down my window and offer to help. She responds with a dirty look and storms off to the front of the gas station. Another 5 minutes goes by and now I am really worried about being late, so I get out and walk up to the guy’s car. Fortunately, I have read scroll #1, so with love in my heart, I ask the man very politely, “Do you need help? I’ve noticed that sometimes the code numbers are hard to read.” He says no, my wife is handling it. At that point, I gently suggested he drive through the car wash opening and then get back in line because there are four cars behind him that have been waiting a long time. The guy rudely ignored my suggestion, rolled up his window and basically blew me off.

As I walked back to my truck, I felt pretty good about how I handled the situation. I was kind, I was polite, and I offered my sincere help. But most importantly, because of Scroll #1, I didn’t tell the guy to “F#&%@#&*off”, like I really wanted to. Did the guy do the right thing, no! Did I do the right thing, yes! And for the rest of the day I felt pretty good until the next morning when I woke up and saw once again how dirty my truck was and decided… I might have love in my heart, but what I really need is a brain in my head!

I will greet each day with love in my heart, 

for this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. 

Muscle can split a shield and even destroy life, 

but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of men.

~ Og Mandino

The Wrong Room

For over 40 years I’ve been an entrepreneur and have absolutely loved it. There’s something about creating a business from scratch, overcoming obstacles, finding ways to grow it, and then finally seeing it reach a successful level that is very satisfying. In my case, I’ve started three lighting companies in three different business sectors, maintenance, engineering, and distribution and through the grace of God (and also some hard work) all three eventually became very successful. Even though all three companies were quite different, all three shared certain “business principles” that were integral to their success. One of the most important principles involves people, or should I say the choices we make about people.

As far back as High School, I realized that the people I associated with were either going to drag me down or lift me up. The smokers, drinkers, and druggies had zero ambition, so I didn’t enjoy their company, and I certainly didn’t learn anything from them. On the other hand, I was also unable to relate to the super smart people because they were just a little too nerdy for me. So instead, I sought out interesting people who had their own unique dreams and goals and were willing to work for them like I knew I was. Little did I know that my decision to seek out the right people back then, would be a guiding principle for the rest of my life, both in business and in personal relationships.

Recently I started a fourth company in a completely different industry. It involves manufacturing a unique product that is sold to companies that build solar parking canopies. I am not familiar with the Solar Industry and I don’t know anyone who is involved in that industry, so I am truly starting from scratch on this one. But one of the first things I will do is find the right people to connect with, people who are intelligent, experienced, and knowledgeable in areas where I am lacking. If I can find the right people to surround myself with, I can find success a lot faster, and probably enjoy the experience a lot more.

I thought about that business principle last night as I was talking to my 19 year old grandson.  We had a "Family Taco Party" for him because he's leaving tomorrow to head back to college. He will be a junior this year and has chosen business as his major, but more importantly, he's at a point in his life where choosing his friend is also going to be one of the most important decisions he will ever make. I told him that I was glad he was taking business classes and that if he ever needed help or advice to please call me. I also gave him a quick bit of unsolicited but highly relevant advice, "When it comes to business, or people, or people in business, the choices you make will determine the path you take." Choose wisely!

If you’re the smartest person in the room, 
you’re in the wrong room.

~ Confucius

I think SpongeBob might be talking about me!

Really Small Things

My wife and I are planning on taking a vacation to Kauai this coming September. We’ve gone on vacation there quite a few times and absolutely love it...and why not, it’s a true taste of happiness!

We typically stay in a vacation rental home that either has a golf course view or an ocean view. The ocean views are breathtaking in Kauai where the water seems to be so much more spectacularly blue than anywhere else. The Makai golf course on the north shore is also spectacular with over a dozen ocean view holes and pristine white sand bunkers that are as pretty as the white sand beaches. Most of the rental homes come with surfboards, boogie boards, bicycles, and beach chairs, so you have all the things you need to enjoy this warm tropical paradise. Let me tell you, it’s such a great vacation spot that I found myself lying in bed last Saturday morning, just dreaming about being there.

But here’s the funny thing. When I woke up that morning and told my wife that I had been dreaming about Kauai, she asked me, “What’s your favorite memory of our vacations there?” I had to think about it for a while. I could have said, “Well of course it’s when we honeymooned in Kauai. Or I could have mentioned the time that I played 60 holes of golf on my 60^th birthday at Makai Golf Course. Or I could have picked our long romantic walks along gorgeous “Secret Beach”.  Or when we hiked over 5 miles on the Napali Coast Line to a secluded waterfall. There are absolutely dozens of memories I could have picked, but I got distracted with a phone call and never actually answered her question.

It just so happens, last Saturday my oldest daughter got married and headed off with her new husband to Hawaii for their honeymoon. While they were gone, my wife and I took care of her two small children. On Thursday they attended a camp at The Ocean Institute in Dana Point and afterwards we decided to walk around the nearby shopping center and look for an ice cream parlor. We walked around for quite a while before finally stumbling onto the perfect place. It’s called, “Lappert’s Ice Cream” and the reason it’s perfect is because it’s the answer to my wife’s question. My favorite memory of Kauai is when we would walk over to the North Shore Village and get a double scoop of Lappert’s Ice Cream in a waffle cone. I know, it sounds like a really small thing, compared to surfing, swimming, bicycling, golfing, and all that. But sometimes it’s the really small things that make the best memories. And let me explain why this memory is so special. Whenever I think about eating ice cream in Kauai, I picture my wife and I sitting on the block wall out front, holding hands, laughing, smiling and just, you know, being in love. And Thursday, as I watched my wife smiling at our grandkids with her cute little dimples, I fell in love with her all over again. And I learned something. Sometimes that taste of happiness you’re seeking is right there in your own back yard!

We do not remember days, we remember moments.

~ Cesare Pavese

Outliving Your Life

I received an email recently from a friend that I hadn’t heard from in over seven years. Robert was on my Halo Baseball Club Team back in the early years and he was a great guy as well as an outstanding baseball player. He could pitch, play any position, and really hit. I admired his skills and learned a lot about baseball fundamentals from him.

In his email, Robert mentioned how much he missed playing baseball and all his friends in the Halo Baseball Club. He explained that he had decided to become a Pastor and a mentor for young leaders with the Urban Youth Workers Institute and therefore was super busy on Sundays. So he had to give up baseball for a while. I really admire people that are willing to make a “life changing decision” like becoming a Pastor. And to also commit to mentoring young people is super impressive. There have been several times in my life when I thought about becoming a Pastor, but I never had the courage to act on it. I did, however, decide to take my faith to work with me every day and do my best to both serve and support my employees, customers and vendors. Plus, I also decided to start writing Monday Messages as another way to share my faith and hopefully draw people just a little closer to God with my stories.

I’m pretty sure what Robert is doing is far more productive than what I’m doing. But that’s okay because everybody is unique with different skill sets. I believe that as long as we make time to use our God given talents to serve others in whatever way we can, we are definitely being productive (and honoring God as well). So after thinking about it, I realized that it was kind of cool that Robert originally inspired me when he took time to “mentor” me in baseball… and now he is inspiring me again by the way he has given up baseball to “mentor” so many others. It totally speaks to his character… so maybe character is one of the best God given talents we can hope to have!

And that got me thinking… I’m quite a bit older than Robert so I don’t know how many more years I have left on this earth. But what I do know is this, if I can serve someone in need, or share my faith with someone who is hurting, or even just help one person in some small way, then my death will not be the end of me…  because my character will live on in the people I have touched!  

The Urban Youth Worker Institute - A national non-profit organization 

that trains & resources urban youth workers to effectively 

evangelize and disciple youth in at-risk cities throughout the US.

Reputation is what men and women think of us. 

Character is what God thinks of us.

~ Thomas Paine 

Valuables

Recently I read that Charlie Sheen is selling his 1927 Babe Ruth World Series Ring and might get as much as $2 million for it. If I were to ask you to name something valuable that you own, what would you come up with? Your home, car, or diamond ring? Or is there something else you might consider even more valuable?

Serious back issues have kept me from playing baseball for the past four months. But on Saturday, I felt ready to give it a try and explained to my Manager that I would only be at 75% capacity. He is a great guy who cares deeply about each and every player much more than winning each and every game. He said he would rotate me in every other inning to insure I didn’t overdo it. We all knew this would be a tough game because we were playing the top team in the league. Sure enough it turned out to be a real barn burner. We fought hard and had a 4-run lead after the eighth inning. But unfortunately, the other team roared back and with two outs in the top of the ninth, scored 6 unanswered runs. We lost the game, but overall, we played really well and demonstrated great team chemistry.

Since I had missed so many games, I made it a point to pay attention to my teammates and keep them pumped up. All game long, I was loud and vocal, constantly cheering on our guys. Towards the end of the game, in that infamous top of the ninth inning, our pitcher was struggling and one of our outfielders missed a crucial fly ball with the bases loaded. So when the game was over I tracked down our relief pitcher and said, “You had several good at bats today and got two solid hits. You also made a great catch on the infield that should have been caught by the first basemen. Way to step up and take charge!” I then tracked down the outfielder and told him, “Hey, that was a great effort you made on that flyball. You ran a long way to get there and dove hard to try to make the catch. Nobody else on the team could have even gotten to it. Way to sacrifice your body for the team, we appreciate it!”

I guess my goal was to try to lift the spirits of my teammates since it was such a tough game. I don’t know if it worked, but as I was leaving one of my other teammates approached me and gave me a compliment. (At least I think it was a compliment). He said, “I am so glad that you are back playing with our team. You’re like a total sparkplug!”

And that got me thinking… Win or lose, being part of a team can often shape you as a person. If you can learn to focus on others as much as yourself, and truly show your teammates how much you care about them, it will often elevate your team (and you) to a much higher result. You might not win a championship ring, but chances are you will win some friends for life and that’s far more valuable… and a lot longer lasting… than any piece of jewelry!

Babe Ruth's 1927 World Series Ring

The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. 

You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, 

but if they don’t play well together, the club won’t be worth a dime.

~ Babe Ruth

Ardent and Fervent

Sometimes I wonder if what I am doing is right or wrong. Maybe for some people life is always black and white and things are always either right or wrong. But for me (and maybe it’s because I’m not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed) sometimes I have to think about those… you know… gray areas.

About a month ago I was feeling really strong for the first time in a long time. My back had been hurt, but now it felt strong, so I decided to get some serious projects done around my house. I bought a huge load of redwood and built a new seawall, tore out both planter areas and planted a dozen new trees, 10 colorful hybrid rosebushes, and assorted other plants, finishing off both areas with nice redwood edging boards. By the time I was done, everything looked great, but unfortunately, my back paid the price. As I limped around the house my wife warned me to take it easy, but I reminded her that I had signed up for a golf tournament that weekend. She told me not to go, but of course I didn’t listen and on the very first swing, it felt like I tore something in my spine. It hurt so bad I couldn’t even pick up a club to try a second shot. I went straight home and iced it, but by 10:00pm that evening, my wife had to call 911 to get an ambulance to take me to the hospital… and of course she threw in a couple of “I told you so’s”, which of course I totally deserved!

When the paramedics arrived, they injected me with pain medication twice on the way to the hospital, but it didn’t help. It felt like somebody was twisting a knife in my spine, and it started to really scare me. At that point I knew I was in trouble and decided to pray for help. I asked God to please take the pain away and I have to admit that prayer was one of the most ardent and fervent prayers I have ever offered up. It reminded me of the emotional prayers I spoke when my wife was in the hospital and most recently when my Mom was terminally ill. But in both those cases, I was praying for a loved one. In this case, I was praying for myself, for my own well-being, and for some reason it felt weird, like maybe it was wrong.

And that got me thinking… Obviously it’s good to pray for others, but when is it okay to pray for yourself? Is it okay to pray for a bigger home, a better car, more money, or in my case less pain? What about praying for your team to win a game? Or what about the reverse, praying for something bad to happen to your competition, or your enemies? When is prayer right and when is it wrong? Those are tough questions that I think each individual person needs to answer for themselves. As for me, it’s been two weeks now since I was in the hospital and the pain in my back is surprisingly almost gone. But then again, maybe it’s not surprising since that is what I prayed for! I’m still pondering the question of right and wrong prayers, but before I ponder another minute, I’m going to get down on my knees right now and make sure my “prayer of thanks” for the pain in my back being gone… is even more ardent and fervent than my prayer for help!

Don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.

~ Satchel Paige 

A Box of Chocolates

July 1^st marks the start of our 7^th year of living on the sand in Capo Beach. We originally rented a small beach house because we sold our home and needed a place to stay while we searched for a smaller home to buy. But we fell in love with the beauty of the blue water, the never-ending sound of the waves caressing the shore, and the sunsets that look like Monet paintings. Six years later we still haven’t started our search for a new home… and hopefully we never will!

The surf and sand make for a stunning view and the whales and dolphins are exciting to watch, but there is also something else that’s interesting about living at the beach… the people you meet! There happens to be a “weekly rental home” right next door, so we have brand new neighbors almost every week, especially during the summer. They come in all different shapes, sizes, races and languages, which can get pretty interesting at times. Some are quiet and reflective, others are loud and boisterous. So it’s like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re going to get!

Speaking of chocolates, my wife loves to cook, so sometimes when a new group arrives we will greet them with some of her home-made chocolate chip cookies. Most of the vacationers that show up next door are excited to be on vacation, so they appreciate our hospitality, but sometimes we get an overly enthusiastic batch of party people who keep us up all night while they litter the beach with trash and beer bottles. It can be fun to meet and greet new people, but it also requires putting out extra effort. So even though I know Christians are supposed to “serve others”, sometimes I just don’t feel like it. Last week, which was 4^th of July week was no exception, but there was something exceptional about it.

When they pulled up they looked like the all-American family of four. They said they knew the hot weather was coming, so they booked a week to relax at the beach and get a break from the normal stresses of everyday life. The night before they arrived we hosted a large beach party and ended up with a lot of leftover food and drinks, so we decided to share it with our new neighbors. Normally that’s the end of it. But not with this family! All throughout the week, they returned the “favor”. One night they brought over some delicious barbequed tri-tip. Another night they invited us to join them for a Mexican Fajita Fiesta at their house. And the father was always offering up a glass of fine wine to go with the great food. We really enjoyed meeting this wonderful family and when they left we promised to stay in touch.

And that got me thinking… This was the first time ever that a vacationing family put out extra effort to make us locals feel welcome. It really blew us away! And more importantly, being on the receiving end of someone else’s hospitality felt so good that it re-energized our desire to serve others. I guess you could say that this box of chocolates was pretty gosh-darn good!

July 4th, 2018 at Capistrano Beach

Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. 

You never know what you’re gonna get.

~ Forrest Gump