7-Day Exercise Program

When our kids were growing up we had a tradition at dinner time that became especially meaningful during the Thanksgiving holiday season. We would ask each person at the table to relate their “good thing” and their “bad thing” that happened to them that day or that week. It was a great way to get the communication going with the kids and it helped us to teach them that life will always have some bad moments, but there will be plenty of good ones to be thankful for too. And more importantly, as hard as it might be, we can even be thankful for the bad things if we allow ourselves to learn from them.

Since I am writing over the Thanksgiving weekend, it seems only appropriate that I continue the tradition. So, if you don’t mind, I would like to tell you my “good thing” and my “bad thing”.

My bad thing first. My 82-year-old Mom wanted to go up to Fresno to visit her sister for Thanksgiving, but she was going to have to take a bus from Riverside to Bakersfield and then a train from Bakersfield to Fresno. At 82 I didn’t want her to have to ride a bus so I volunteered to drive her to the Bakersfield Amtrak Station on Tuesday before Thanksgiving. We had a great time together so I was happy I was able to help, but on the way back I hit the worst traffic I’ve ever seen in my life. Altogether I changed freeways 11 times in 5 hours trying to make find my way back home but the weird thing is I never really got upset about it. I think the fact that I did something good to help someone I love.. kind of took away my frustration and turned it into a good day after all.

Now my good thing. I’ve had a serious back pain issue for 6 months and although I’ve seen multiple doctors and had two painful needle procedures done, the pain was still pretty bad. So my doctor advised me to get spine surgery. That didn’t sound like fun, so I continued to pray for healing, which I have been doing for months. But this time I changed up my prayers to include a thank you to God for all the good things going on in my life, despite my stupid back pain. And I guess it worked because two weeks ago, the pain completely disappeared and it hasn’t come back!

Being thankful doesn’t necessarily come easy for most of us, but it should. Here’s an idea. Tomorrow morning when you climb out of bed, think of one specific thing you can be thankful for. Do it every day for a solid week, thinking of different things to be thankful for each day. How you feel in the morning affects how you feel throughout the day so this simple 7-day exercise program will probably heighten your focus on the good things. It might even help you realize that “not focusing on a bad thing” is a “good thing”!

One of my many good things... the girls in my life!

It is not what we say about our blessings, 

but how we use them, that is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

~ W. T. Purkiser

Why on Earth?

Thanksgiving is just around the corner! So, I’ve been thinking about all the things I am thankful for and how I could wrap that theme into a cool Monday Message. I even went as far as to make a list of 10 things I’m thankful for and shared it with my wife. But as I thought about being thankful, a question came to mind. If I am truly thankful, then what am I going to do about it? Which led to how can I give back for all that has been given to me? Which then led to the biggest question of all, “What truly is my purpose in life?”

So I figured I would take my question to an expert. "Lord, I am sorry to bother you but I have a question, Why am I here Lord? I know that I am uniquely made and I appreciate that You blessed me with a life, but I don’t totally know for sure why I’m here? When you created us it’s obvious you wanted us to not only live a life here on earth, but also to create more life on earth or you wouldn’t have given us the ability to multiply...and multiply we have! But that can’t be our sole purpose. Can it?”

As I pondered that question, a Facebook message popped up on my phone. When the message showed up I figured it was obviously God answering my question, right? But actually, it turned out to be a message and a photo about a friend of mine that was posted by his son. It said very simply, yet very eloquently….

“So my dad goes from surfing 20 foot waves in Indonesia, to winning multiple championships in his baseball league, to now playing lead guitar in his first gig coming up at Thanksgiving… all while being one of the best financial advisers in California. What can’t he do??? Love ya, Dad!

It’s not unusual for a parent to love their child and be proud of them. But it is rare that a child will express their pride and love for a parent so openly. When I saw that message the answer to life’s biggest question became obvious. “Why on earth are we here on earth? To love each other!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

There is no surprise more magical than the surprise 

of being loved. It is God’s finger on man’s shoulder.

~ Charles Morgan

Only Time Will Tell

When I woke up this morning a crazy thought came to mind, which then turned into several interesting questions. The name of the new President Elect of the United States, surprisingly, is billionaire businessman Donald Trump, a non-politician, who apparently doesn’t worry about being politically correct either. How did that happen and is it is going to be good for our country or is it going to be bad for our country?

Kind of reminds me of a story I read by Max Lucado. Once upon a time there was an old man who was considered the poorest man in the village. He had but one possession, a beautiful white stallion that he highly treasured. The people in the village kept telling him he should sell the horse and make some serious money, but he would not part with his beloved white horse. One day the horse ran away and the village people told the old man, “See, we told you to sell that horse and now he is gone. This is really bad for you.” But the old man disagreed saying, “I don’t know if it is bad or good, only time will tell.”

A week later the white Stallion returned to the stable with 12 wild horses following him. The townspeople cried, “You were right! This is a really good situation. Now you will be rich and happy!” But the old man disagreed saying, “I don’t know if it is good or bad, only time will tell.” Sure enough, a week later the old man’s only son fell while trying to tame one of the wild horses and broke both his legs. Once again the village people hollered at the old man, “See, this is a bad situation for you. Without your son to help there is no one to break in the wild horses.” But the old man disagreed saying, “I don’t know if it is bad or good, only time will tell.”

Shortly afterwards war broke out in the area and all the young men from the village were sent off to war. However, the old man’s son was disabled so he had to stay home. The elders of the village were distraught because they knew their sons would most likely die in the war, so they yelled at the old man one more time, “See, it is a good thing that your son broke his legs.” Once more the old man yelled back, “You people just don’t get it, do you… Only time will tell!”

Will Donald Trump turn out to be a good President or a bad President? Obviously, a lot of people voted for him and yet there are also a lot of people who didn’t vote for him who are now protesting his election. So I truly do not know what’s going to happen. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s that things are rarely ever what they seem…and if I jump to a conclusion, I am usually wrong. Maybe this is a good time to stop, think and be patient and remember what a wise old man once said, “Only time will tell!”

I’ve worked very, very hard. I’ve created thousands and thousands of jobs and built great structures. I’ve had tremendous success. I think I’ve done a lot…and I’m not done.

~ Donald Trump

Outright Obedience

This past weekend my youngest daughter asked us to babysit her new puppy named “Fitzgerald”. He’s a small French Bull Dog with a huge amount of personality but he’s also about the best-behaved puppy I have ever seen. So watching him is easy and fun… and always entertaining.

Fitz woke me up with the tiniest whine on Sunday morning. He does that when he needs to go out, so I grabbed his leash so we could take a walk along the beach. There are so many different objects and smells in the sand at the beach that Fitz was just loving it. He couldn’t go two feet without jamming his nose into the sand and sniffing up a storm. For some reason, he would suddenly start digging super-fast throwing giant amounts of sand between his legs up into the air. I’m not sure what he was digging for but then again, I doubt he was either.

After about twenty minutes I was ready to head back in, but Fitz spotted something buried in the sand. As he started sniffing around it I realized it was a crusty old fish head, covered with flies and smelling like well… a dead fish. It was gross, but to Fitz’s nose it was a prickly piece of heaven. I yelled, “No Fitz, let’s go” and normally that’s all I have to do to get him to start walking. But not this time. He turned and looked at me, then he looked at that fish-head. Then he looked at me again and then he looked at that fish-head again. I yelled at him again to leave it alone and tugged his leash, but he didn’t budge. I could tell he was thinking and considering his options. And then he did something that I have never seen him do before… he outright disobeyed me. He jammed his nose and teeth right into the heart of that disgusting chunck of ocean scum like it was a piece of cake. It surprised me and angered me just a little, which meant that my voice got loud and my tone got harsh, and he could tell I wasn’t going to be ignored.    

Fitz immediately stopped chewing and sat back on his hind legs. He glanced awkwardly at me for a moment then turned and slowly walked back towards me with his head hanging down the whole way. The excitement of the filthy fish-head discovery had been replaced by the guilt of disobedience. As we approached our patio his head was still hanging low but my heart had softened up, so I stopped and knelt down beside him. As I looked at his face and rubbed his ears, I think he could sense forgiveness, which made him jump straight up into my lap. I didn’t say anything and he didn’t need me to. His crime was forgiven and all was good again in both our lives.

I have to admit I don’t really know if a dog can feel guilt. But I do know that humans can (at least the good ones with character and a conscience can). But despite the sting of guilt, even the best of us can’t be outright obedient 100% of the time, which got me thinking…Wouldn’t it be great if we had someone that would take us into their lap, rub our heads and constantly forgive us our sins (even if we stink like a dead fish) insuring that despite disobedience, things can still turn out right? I think maybe we do!

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

~ Paul Boese

Outright Obedience

This past weekend my youngest daughter asked us to babysit her new puppy named “Fitzgerald”. He’s a small French Bull Dog with a huge amount of personality but he’s also about the best-behaved puppy I have ever seen. So watching him is easy and fun… and always entertaining.

Fitz woke me up with the tiniest whine on Sunday morning. He does that when he needs to go out, so I grabbed his leash so we could take a walk along the beach. There are so many different objects and smells in the sand at the beach that Fitz was just loving it. He couldn’t go two feet without jamming his nose into the sand and sniffing up a storm. For some reason, he would suddenly start digging super-fast throwing giant amounts of sand between his legs up into the air. I’m not sure what he was digging for but then again, I doubt he was either.

After about twenty minutes I was ready to head back in, but Fitz spotted something buried in the sand. As he started sniffing around it I realized it was a crusty old fish head, covered with flies and smelling like well… a dead fish. It was gross, but to Fitz’s nose it was a prickly piece of heaven. I yelled, “No Fitz, let’s go” and normally that’s all I have to do to get him to start walking. But not this time. He turned and looked at me, then he looked at that fish-head. Then he looked at me again and then he looked at that fish-head again. I yelled at him again to leave it alone and tugged his leash, but he didn’t budge. I could tell he was thinking and considering his options. And then he did something that I have never seen him do before… he outright disobeyed me. He jammed his nose and teeth right into the heart of that disgusting chunck of ocean scum like it was a piece of cake. It surprised me and angered me just a little, which meant that my voice got loud and my tone got harsh, and he could tell I wasn’t going to be ignored.    

Fitz immediately stopped chewing and sat back on his hind legs. He glanced awkwardly at me for a moment then turned and slowly walked back towards me with his head hanging down the whole way. The excitement of the filthy fish-head discovery had been replaced by the guilt of disobedience. As we approached our patio his head was still hanging low but my heart had softened up, so I stopped and knelt down beside him. As I looked at his face and rubbed his ears, I think he could sense forgiveness, which made him jump straight up into my lap. I didn’t say anything and he didn’t need me to. His crime was forgiven and all was good again in both our lives.

I have to admit I don’t really know if a dog can feel guilt. But I do know that humans can (at least the good ones with character and a conscience can). But despite the sting of guilt, even the best of us can’t be outright obedient 100% of the time, which got me thinking…Wouldn’t it be great if we had someone that would take us into their lap, rub our heads and constantly forgive us our sins (even if we stink like a dead fish) insuring that despite disobedience, things can still turn out right? I think maybe we do!

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

~ Paul Boese

The Power of Praise

My wife and I like to go for long bike rides because it’s fun exercise and it also gives us a chance to talk and share our thoughts and ideas. Last week she told me about an article she read on building relationships with people and it stated there are five specific things that people react most strongly to. One of those things was praise (or the opposite - criticism), which got me thinking about last week…

On Friday I started work at 6am so that I could get off a little early and play 9 holes of golf. I walked on at Rancho San Joaquin and got paired up with a young man named Mike. He was super nice and a great golfer but when I asked him about his work, a big frown crossed his face. He said he has been working at a medical device company for 12 years and loves it. He had worked himself up to a supervisory position, but recently they got a new CEO who treats people badly. Mike says the CEO micro-manages everybody and is quick to criticize, so he has already started looking for a new job.

Over the weekend I went to a baseball practice with several of my Halo Baseball  teammates. I haven’t played a game in 4 months (due to a back issue) or practiced hardly at all, so it was really great to see my friends. These guys are awesome teammates. Every one of them acted happy to see me with huge hugs and high fives all around just for showing up. I only practiced for an hour but I constantly heard them yelling, “Great play, nice throw, that a ’boy” and more. As I got ready to leave my friend Gaston says, “Killer, I love turning double plays with you!” Trust me, I left with a big smile, feeling blessed and happy.

On Sunday my grandson Jack had a party to celebrate his 10^th birthday. Earlier in the week his mom told me that he has a lot of tools and loves to build things, but he needed a cabinet or a workbench for all his stuff. A workbench is an unusual request for a birthday present but Jack is an unusual boy who is truly gifted mechanically. So Jack and I went shopping Sunday morning and picked out a garage cabinet with a wooden work bench top, a vise, and some pegboard to organize and display all his cool tools. We assembled the workbench, the vise and the pegboard with Jack doing most of the work and I couldn’t help but praise his efforts and the awesome result. In return, Jack gave me the best smile I have ever seen. What a nice gift… for me!

I actually learned the power of praise a long time ago and will often try to catch somebody “doing something right” at work and then praise them in front of the whole group. However, as great as praise is, I sometimes forget that criticism can be just as powerful. So the next time I am tempted to be critical, I am going to remember that I should offer praise whenever possible, and that it is always possible!

If you were paid 10 cents for every kind word you said to someone, 

but had to pay 10 cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?

~ Jacob Mr. Braude

Transformative Moments

Halloween is coming up soon and with it the focus is on being scared. Being scared in a freaky Halloween way is fun, but being truly afraid is not. True fear is a bad thing that tends to hold us back and it can manifest itself it in a lot of different forms. For me, I’ve noticed that most of the time when I’m afraid, it’s because I’m worried about the outcome of something and therefore have self-doubt. I guess doubting yourself is normal at times, but it’s a choice that is never good and almost always impossible to overcome.

However, I recently read a story about the ingenious founder of GoDaddy.com that really helped to put self-doubt in the right perspective. Before Bob Parsons became a successful businessman, he was a Marine rifleman in Vietnam. The day he arrived in a combat zone - as a green replacement in a squad that had just lost five men in an ambush - he confronted the likelihood that he would not make it out alive. He sat down on the wall of the old French fort his unit occupied and “had what I believe was the only anxiety attack of my life,” he recalls. He finally overcame his terror by resolving to do the best job he could and be satisfied with it regardless of the outcome. It was a transformative moment that helped him to develop the discipline and courage needed to succeed as a businessman. “If you can accept the worst that can happen to you and live with it,” he says, “you become like a superman or superwoman, meaning you can do anything because your mind doesn’t get in your way.” Self-doubt will hold people back in life, but if you can accept the worst and still commit to doing the best job you can, you’ll find yourself accomplishing more than you’ve ever dreamed.

Looking back on my life I can see there were many times that I was truly scared. Like when I had to give a speech in front of hundreds of people at the Bren Center, or when I quit my job to start my own company, or when I asked my wife if she would marry me, or when I was up to bat in the bottom of the 10^th inning in a championship baseball game, or when I stood up at Church to share my story of faith with the congregation, or when my Dad was dying from cancer and I knew no matter what I would never be able to fill his shoes. When I think back about each one of those scary times, I realize that I often focused on my faith and asked God for his help… and He never once turned me down! I realize now that God believed in me whether I did or not. After reading Bob Parsons story I had a transformative moment myself. Why would I ever choose to doubt myself, when God has never once chosen to doubt me!  

   

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.

~ General Lewis William Walt, Vietnam War Veteran