The Key

I was lying in bed last night trying to think of a good idea for a Monday Message and couldn't think of anything! It’s frustrating because I committed myself many years ago to write a short story or create some kind of positive message every Monday, but sometimes I just draw a blank.

However, I received my inspiration early this morning. I was at a Shopping Center in Irvine across from the UCI Campus, doing an ultrasonic pole inspection when I noticed the security guard approaching me. I often get questioned by security guards when I’m working, but I recognized this lady. She’s a bit older than most security guards, but the same tall, thin, woman I’ve seen at that Shopping Center every year. She appears to be a bit rough and tough, as most security guards need to be, but she also has a great smile.

I’ve never really said more than a few words to her, but today she recognized me and stopped to talk a bit. She asked me about my job, and I explained what I do and that I find it really fun and interesting, although also very challenging at times. She replied, “Yeah, my job is challenging too, but I don’t really like it so much. There are too many spoiled young kids in this area that go into Albertsons every week and steal things.” She went on to say, “It makes me both sad and mad, cause kids shouldn’t be that way.”

I agreed with her and suggested that maybe the parents were part of the problem. She laughed at that. But then she also mentioned that there’s a job she’s had her eye on for over a year. A better paying job with a private company. But she said she’s been too afraid to apply for it because she knows she’ll get turned down. My first response was, “How do you know if you don’t try?”

But then I started thinking… about something my wife said to me after we first got married. I was going through a really tough time, struggling over whether or not to take my business in a new direction, one that would be very risky, but that could also pay off in a big way. Debby said to me, “I read something recently that I think applies to your situation.” Her words of advice are shown below, and when I remembered her giving me that advice, I decided right then and there to share it with the security guard. She didn’t respond immediately, but after a few moments, I saw that bright smile appear and I knew I had an idea for a Monday Message.

“The door to my life is within me.

I hold the key. And no one else does.”

       ~ as told to me by Debby Thrailkill, circa 1995

Only One Thing to Fear

As a man, it’s embarrassing to admit that sometimes I get scared. I’ve always seen myself as this big, strong, tough guy, who ain’t afraid of nuthin! But last week, I got scared, super scared, three times!

The first time was Monday. I left my house in pitch-black darkness headed south to San Diego. At the first intersection I approached, I needed to turn left and the lights up ahead were all green. It was early, I was thinking about all the work I needed to get done, and I guess a bit distracted. As I started to turn left, I heard a noise, just a slight whisper of a sound. Not sure what it was but it woke me up to see that the left turn lane light was bright red… and a huge Sprinter Van was about to barrel head on into me. I swerved at the last second, narrowly avoiding a major collision, my heart absolutely beating out of my chest!

The second time was a few days later. My wife and I were at a friend's beautiful beach house that sits high above Strand’s Beach. The view of the ocean, looking down at the white sandy beach and rolling blue waves will take your breath away. However, the stone steps that lead down from the patio towards the beach are super steep and a bit treacherous. My wife and I were talking and laughing, but when I got up to go move the umbrella, I stepped awkwardly on the first step and started to fall backwards down the stone staircase. It all happened so fast, but it was like there was momentary pressure on my back, and somehow… I regained my balance. Had I fallen, I would have been very seriously injured, but instead I just stood there with my heart going a hundred miles an hour, scared out of my head once again!

The third time was Friday and a total precursor to Halloween. I had a big job to do in Camarillo, so I picked up my son, David, at 5:00am and headed north on the 5 freeway. It was dark out and traffic on the freeway was light, but my night vision isn’t so great these days. So after driving only a few miles, I heard a voice in my head saying you better clean your glasses. But when I put them back on, I noticed something that set my heart racing once again! A huge, nasty spider was hanging from a thin web only inches in front of my face. I screamed out to my son, immediately swerving over to the side of the road, and jumped out yelling SPIDER! My son bailed out of the truck but not before noticing the giant black arachnid just above the steering wheel. Somehow, despite my heart going crazy, I was able to grab a wad of napkins and “escort” the nasty creature out of my truck. But what was also scary was… if I fail when I go for him, that creature is going to hide somewhere in my truck, and I will have to live the rest of my life in fear of him!

And that got me thinking… about fear and failure. Where did that slight whisper, that momentary pressure, and that voice in my head that saved me from disaster come from? I’m not sure, but because I feel connected to God, I choose to believe that He is with me, helping me and guiding me at all times. I’m not saying that bad things won’t happen, they do. But more importantly, I don’t think I should ever live my life in fear or even worrying about failure for that matter, because in the Bible it says that there is only one thing we need to fear… failing to receive God’s grace.

Be careful that no one fails to receive God’s grace.

~ Hebrews 12:15

Change The World

I am not embarrassed to say that I am a hard worker. I always have been, and it has served me  well in my life. I think that’s why I admire “working class” people so much. In fact, I try to carry around $5 bills and In-And-Out Gift Cards with me everywhere I go so that when I catch someone working hard and/or doing the right thing, I can give them a small but usually meaningful reward. I also have to be a hard worker because my wife is a hard worker… and I can’t let her show me up!

At our house we share the chores. My wife does the laundry and being such a hard worker, she does the laundry almost every single day. My job is to help her and often times I will make the bed after she washes our sheets. And when I do, I make it right and pull it tight, in order for it to look perfect. I’m not really sure why I do that, but recently I read something written by a Navy Seal and it explains why making your bed is so important. Who knew!

"Every morning in basic SEAL training, my instructors (all Viet Nam veterans) would show up in our barracks room and the first thing they did was inspect your bed. If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard, and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the rack - that’s Navy talk for bed.

It was a simple mundane task. But every morning we were required to make our bed-to-perfection.  It seemed ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that were aspiring to be real battle-hardened warriors, but the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over.

If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day.  It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. Let’s face it, if you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right. And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made, that you made… that gives you the encouragement that tomorrow will be better.

Bottom line, if you want to change the world, start off by making your bed!”

So… this morning I made the bed! Then I stopped and looked at my wife and a thought came to my mind. If you truly find the right person to share your life with, and you make it your goal to treat them with perfection, you just might change their world!

Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.

~ Aristotle

Relationships

My two favorite sports are baseball and golf, and they were both on display in a big way yesterday. As much as I love to play both sports, watching them being played can be equally inspiring and thrilling, especially when they exhibit the rollercoaster of ups and downs that life often brings to each of us.

I watched the FedEx Cup “Tour Championship” final round first yesterday. Two of my favorite golfers, Scottie Scheffler and Jon Rahm, who are #1 and #2 in the world were supposed to win, but both fell behind on Sunday. Instead, a young 25-year-old Norwegian, named Viktor Hovland, playing brilliantly, fought his way to the top of the leaderboard and ended up winning. When Viktor was interviewed after winning the biggest prize in golf, all he could talk about was what a great “team” he had including his caddie and coaches. He mentioned how those relationships make all the difference.

When I watched the Little League World Series, a local team from California was playing against an international team from Curacao. The team from Curacao was at the Little League Championship Game last year, and almost won it, so they were heavily favored having several returning stars on their team. But the El Segundo California also had some stars of their own including Louis Lappe, a strapping 6’-1" tall 12-year-old who could really hit. California got out to a huge lead at 5-1, but Curacao managed to get a grand slam in the 5^th inning to tie the game. Unfortunately for them Lappe stepped up to the plate in the bottom of the 6^th inning and crushed a walk off home run to win the game for El Segundo. When interviewed after the game, 12-year-old Lappe spoke about the great relationships between all the players on his team, including his coach. As he spoke, his coach was crying his eyes out standing behind Louis, and then grabbed him and hugged him tight.

And that got me thinking… I have some great relationships in my life, but I don’t always give them the credit that they are due. I think I need to make the effort to give them a huge hug too!

Shared joy is a double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow.

~ Swedish Proverb

Being Led

When I was young, I was lucky to have a loving father who was very wise. He would often give me advice and as I look back, I see something interesting. When I was a young child, I listened to my father’s advice and followed it without hesitation. When I was a teenager, I only listened to his advice some of the time. And after leaving home as a young man, I stopped asking for his advice altogether, which led me to make a lot of painful mistakes that robbed me of my joy.

Why is it so hard for most of us to listen to the advice of others? Especially when the advice comes from someone who loves us. And what if the advice is coming from our heavenly Father? How can we recognize that it is happening, and how do we really know we are being led in the right direction? That’s a question my wife posed to me recently after we came home from spending time with a friend we hadn’t seen in a while.

The friend I speak of is someone who has lived a good life and has always been a good person. He treats people with respect, has been very successful in business, and has a ton of friends. And yet he has always seemed to have a lot of stress and worry in his life. Recently, he told us he connected with God on a much more personal level, and now believes he is being led by God. He was happy and smiling when he told us, and he seemed more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him. Happy, smiling, relaxed, and very excited about the new direction in his life. Just listening to him made my wife and I smile because his passion and enthusiasm were infectious.

And that got me thinking… We won’t always know if the advice we are being given is good advice or not. But if we consider the source, such as a loving spouse, a wise mother or father, or especially our heavenly Father, and if we listen with an open mind powered by a loving heart, we just might become infected… with joy!

God enters by a private door into every individual.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ordinary to Extraordinary

Ever have a bad day, or maybe even a bad week? You know, where everything seems to go wrong, problems keep popping up, people keep disappointing you, a friend lets you down, your boss blames you for something you didn’t do, and even your dog snubs you? It happens. It happened to me last week. 

When that happens, it’s easy to get sad and think the world sucks. But just when you think life stinks, somebody will surprise you. It happened last week. It happens a lot! Two examples:

My wife and I went to visit a friend we hadn’t seen in a very long time. He lives out of town but has a beach house here in Orange County. He cooked us hamburgers, mixed up some great margaritas, and we talked for several hours while the sun set over Catalina Island. On the way home, my wife noticed he venmoed her a very generous donation for her charity. She didn’t ask for a donation, in fact, quite the opposite. She mentioned how well her charity was doing.

This past Saturday night was our family’s quarterly “Poker Tournament”. For years we would meet in person to play poker, but since we now have family living in Washington, Colorado, and Nevada, we play poker online. It’s really fun and the winner usually gets around $250-$300. My wife’s brother almost always joins in. Although speaking of “life stinks”, he lost his wife to Covid about a year ago and as you can imagine, has had rough go of it ever since. Her brother ended up winning the Poker Tournament Saturday night, but instead of accepting the trophy and the money, he donated the money to my wife’s charity.

And that got me thinking… If you ever begin to feel like the world sucks, stop for a moment and look around you. You just might find an ordinary person… doing something extraordinary!

Surround yourself with good people and you will surround yourself with positivity.

~ Martin Luther King

Murphy's Law

Have you ever gone to the car wash and spent a lot of money to have your car cleaned? When you’re done your car looks good, and it feels good to drive it! But then of course, a couple days later it rains and turns your beautiful car into a rolling clump of muddy muck.

That situation has a name. It’s called, “Murphy’s Law” … Whatever can go wrong will go wrong!

A couple of days ago, I spent a lot of money to have the carpets cleaned at our house. And then…

Why do I appear happy, you ask? Because at my age, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected and embrace it with a smile, which by the way, really pisses off old Murphy!

      The effort of trying to save a falling object by catching it will always cause more destruction                                   than if the object had just been allowed to fall unobstructed in the first place.                                               ~ Murphy’s Law #16   

Top 20 Murphy’s Laws

 

1.     If anything can go wrong, it will.

2.     Nothing is as easy as it looks.

3.     Everything takes longer than you think.

4.     Doing it the hard way is always easier in the long run.

5.     Your superiors will always think they are better than you, despite the law of averages.

6.     The truth shall get you fired.

7.     If you cannot convince people, confuse them.

8.     If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk a lot less.

9.     Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you do when everything goes wrong.

10. The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction.

11. In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired, or at least avoided at all costs.

12. A knife too dull to cut anything else will always cut your finger like a razor.

13. After your hands have become extremely dirty, your nose will itch.

14. Leftover nuts never match leftover bolts.

15. The length of a minute depends on what you are waiting for.

16. The effort of trying to save a falling object by catching it, will always cause more destruction than if the object had just been allowed to fall unobstructed in the first place.

17. The number of people who happen to be watching you will always directly proportional to the stupidity of the thing you are doing.

18. Things always get worse before they get better.

19. If it jams, force it. Then, if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

20. When you try to prove to someone that a machine doesn’t work, it will always work perfectly.