Outliving Your Life

I received an email recently from a friend that I hadn’t heard from in over seven years. Robert was on my Halo Baseball Club Team back in the early years and he was a great guy as well as an outstanding baseball player. He could pitch, play any position, and really hit. I admired his skills and learned a lot about baseball fundamentals from him.

In his email, Robert mentioned how much he missed playing baseball and all his friends in the Halo Baseball Club. He explained that he had decided to become a Pastor and a mentor for young leaders with the Urban Youth Workers Institute and therefore was super busy on Sundays. So he had to give up baseball for a while. I really admire people that are willing to make a “life changing decision” like becoming a Pastor. And to also commit to mentoring young people is super impressive. There have been several times in my life when I thought about becoming a Pastor, but I never had the courage to act on it. I did, however, decide to take my faith to work with me every day and do my best to both serve and support my employees, customers and vendors. Plus, I also decided to start writing Monday Messages as another way to share my faith and hopefully draw people just a little closer to God with my stories.

I’m pretty sure what Robert is doing is far more productive than what I’m doing. But that’s okay because everybody is unique with different skill sets. I believe that as long as we make time to use our God given talents to serve others in whatever way we can, we are definitely being productive (and honoring God as well). So after thinking about it, I realized that it was kind of cool that Robert originally inspired me when he took time to “mentor” me in baseball… and now he is inspiring me again by the way he has given up baseball to “mentor” so many others. It totally speaks to his character… so maybe character is one of the best God given talents we can hope to have!

And that got me thinking… I’m quite a bit older than Robert so I don’t know how many more years I have left on this earth. But what I do know is this, if I can serve someone in need, or share my faith with someone who is hurting, or even just help one person in some small way, then my death will not be the end of me…  because my character will live on in the people I have touched!  

The Urban Youth Worker Institute - A national non-profit organization 

that trains & resources urban youth workers to effectively 

evangelize and disciple youth in at-risk cities throughout the US.

Reputation is what men and women think of us. 

Character is what God thinks of us.

~ Thomas Paine 

Valuables

Recently I read that Charlie Sheen is selling his 1927 Babe Ruth World Series Ring and might get as much as $2 million for it. If I were to ask you to name something valuable that you own, what would you come up with? Your home, car, or diamond ring? Or is there something else you might consider even more valuable?

Serious back issues have kept me from playing baseball for the past four months. But on Saturday, I felt ready to give it a try and explained to my Manager that I would only be at 75% capacity. He is a great guy who cares deeply about each and every player much more than winning each and every game. He said he would rotate me in every other inning to insure I didn’t overdo it. We all knew this would be a tough game because we were playing the top team in the league. Sure enough it turned out to be a real barn burner. We fought hard and had a 4-run lead after the eighth inning. But unfortunately, the other team roared back and with two outs in the top of the ninth, scored 6 unanswered runs. We lost the game, but overall, we played really well and demonstrated great team chemistry.

Since I had missed so many games, I made it a point to pay attention to my teammates and keep them pumped up. All game long, I was loud and vocal, constantly cheering on our guys. Towards the end of the game, in that infamous top of the ninth inning, our pitcher was struggling and one of our outfielders missed a crucial fly ball with the bases loaded. So when the game was over I tracked down our relief pitcher and said, “You had several good at bats today and got two solid hits. You also made a great catch on the infield that should have been caught by the first basemen. Way to step up and take charge!” I then tracked down the outfielder and told him, “Hey, that was a great effort you made on that flyball. You ran a long way to get there and dove hard to try to make the catch. Nobody else on the team could have even gotten to it. Way to sacrifice your body for the team, we appreciate it!”

I guess my goal was to try to lift the spirits of my teammates since it was such a tough game. I don’t know if it worked, but as I was leaving one of my other teammates approached me and gave me a compliment. (At least I think it was a compliment). He said, “I am so glad that you are back playing with our team. You’re like a total sparkplug!”

And that got me thinking… Win or lose, being part of a team can often shape you as a person. If you can learn to focus on others as much as yourself, and truly show your teammates how much you care about them, it will often elevate your team (and you) to a much higher result. You might not win a championship ring, but chances are you will win some friends for life and that’s far more valuable… and a lot longer lasting… than any piece of jewelry!

Babe Ruth's 1927 World Series Ring

The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. 

You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, 

but if they don’t play well together, the club won’t be worth a dime.

~ Babe Ruth

Ardent and Fervent

Sometimes I wonder if what I am doing is right or wrong. Maybe for some people life is always black and white and things are always either right or wrong. But for me (and maybe it’s because I’m not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed) sometimes I have to think about those… you know… gray areas.

About a month ago I was feeling really strong for the first time in a long time. My back had been hurt, but now it felt strong, so I decided to get some serious projects done around my house. I bought a huge load of redwood and built a new seawall, tore out both planter areas and planted a dozen new trees, 10 colorful hybrid rosebushes, and assorted other plants, finishing off both areas with nice redwood edging boards. By the time I was done, everything looked great, but unfortunately, my back paid the price. As I limped around the house my wife warned me to take it easy, but I reminded her that I had signed up for a golf tournament that weekend. She told me not to go, but of course I didn’t listen and on the very first swing, it felt like I tore something in my spine. It hurt so bad I couldn’t even pick up a club to try a second shot. I went straight home and iced it, but by 10:00pm that evening, my wife had to call 911 to get an ambulance to take me to the hospital… and of course she threw in a couple of “I told you so’s”, which of course I totally deserved!

When the paramedics arrived, they injected me with pain medication twice on the way to the hospital, but it didn’t help. It felt like somebody was twisting a knife in my spine, and it started to really scare me. At that point I knew I was in trouble and decided to pray for help. I asked God to please take the pain away and I have to admit that prayer was one of the most ardent and fervent prayers I have ever offered up. It reminded me of the emotional prayers I spoke when my wife was in the hospital and most recently when my Mom was terminally ill. But in both those cases, I was praying for a loved one. In this case, I was praying for myself, for my own well-being, and for some reason it felt weird, like maybe it was wrong.

And that got me thinking… Obviously it’s good to pray for others, but when is it okay to pray for yourself? Is it okay to pray for a bigger home, a better car, more money, or in my case less pain? What about praying for your team to win a game? Or what about the reverse, praying for something bad to happen to your competition, or your enemies? When is prayer right and when is it wrong? Those are tough questions that I think each individual person needs to answer for themselves. As for me, it’s been two weeks now since I was in the hospital and the pain in my back is surprisingly almost gone. But then again, maybe it’s not surprising since that is what I prayed for! I’m still pondering the question of right and wrong prayers, but before I ponder another minute, I’m going to get down on my knees right now and make sure my “prayer of thanks” for the pain in my back being gone… is even more ardent and fervent than my prayer for help!

Don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.

~ Satchel Paige 

A Box of Chocolates

July 1^st marks the start of our 7^th year of living on the sand in Capo Beach. We originally rented a small beach house because we sold our home and needed a place to stay while we searched for a smaller home to buy. But we fell in love with the beauty of the blue water, the never-ending sound of the waves caressing the shore, and the sunsets that look like Monet paintings. Six years later we still haven’t started our search for a new home… and hopefully we never will!

The surf and sand make for a stunning view and the whales and dolphins are exciting to watch, but there is also something else that’s interesting about living at the beach… the people you meet! There happens to be a “weekly rental home” right next door, so we have brand new neighbors almost every week, especially during the summer. They come in all different shapes, sizes, races and languages, which can get pretty interesting at times. Some are quiet and reflective, others are loud and boisterous. So it’s like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re going to get!

Speaking of chocolates, my wife loves to cook, so sometimes when a new group arrives we will greet them with some of her home-made chocolate chip cookies. Most of the vacationers that show up next door are excited to be on vacation, so they appreciate our hospitality, but sometimes we get an overly enthusiastic batch of party people who keep us up all night while they litter the beach with trash and beer bottles. It can be fun to meet and greet new people, but it also requires putting out extra effort. So even though I know Christians are supposed to “serve others”, sometimes I just don’t feel like it. Last week, which was 4^th of July week was no exception, but there was something exceptional about it.

When they pulled up they looked like the all-American family of four. They said they knew the hot weather was coming, so they booked a week to relax at the beach and get a break from the normal stresses of everyday life. The night before they arrived we hosted a large beach party and ended up with a lot of leftover food and drinks, so we decided to share it with our new neighbors. Normally that’s the end of it. But not with this family! All throughout the week, they returned the “favor”. One night they brought over some delicious barbequed tri-tip. Another night they invited us to join them for a Mexican Fajita Fiesta at their house. And the father was always offering up a glass of fine wine to go with the great food. We really enjoyed meeting this wonderful family and when they left we promised to stay in touch.

And that got me thinking… This was the first time ever that a vacationing family put out extra effort to make us locals feel welcome. It really blew us away! And more importantly, being on the receiving end of someone else’s hospitality felt so good that it re-energized our desire to serve others. I guess you could say that this box of chocolates was pretty gosh-darn good!

July 4th, 2018 at Capistrano Beach

Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. 

You never know what you’re gonna get.

~ Forrest Gump 

Community Spirit

Two weeks ago, there were extremely high tides forcing the ocean waves over our seawall and flooding our patio. This is not the first time that Mother Nature has messed with us and it won’t be the last. So I decided to get serious and rebuild our sea wall, higher, wider and stronger. More importantly I decided to build it right this time, with sturdy top-quality redwood.

The first thing I did was purchase a DeWalt Chop Saw so that I could make smooth and straight cuts. The second thing I did was go down to Ganahl’s lumber yard and seek out a knowledgeable lumber expert to help me pick out the right kind of redwood. After explaining the different types of redwood available, and which stains and sealers would work best to protect it, he also shared some interesting trivia with me.

I found out that according to scientists, redwood trees have been around for over 240 million years. They are also the tallest trees in the world. In fact, there are approximately 50 redwood trees along the Pacific Coast that are now over 360’ tall. They are also crucial for maintaining a stable, human-friendly climate because studies show that coastal redwoods capture more carbon dioxide (CO2) from our vehicles than any other tree on Earth. So obviously we should try to protect our local redwood forests, but what isn’t obvious is how they protect themselves… in order to insure a long life.

You might know that redwood trees get their strength and long life from their roots. But what you might not know is that none of their roots are more than 1” in diameter. Those are tiny roots! So how do giant redwood trees stand so tall and strong with such tiny roots. Well, those tiny roots reach out underground and seek out other redwood tree roots. Once they find them they grab onto them and hold on tight forming a well-rooted, tight-knit community, that provides strength and the chance for a longer life.

And that got me thinking… What if people acted like redwood trees and spread out loving roots to their neighbors, friends and family. How much stronger could we be and how much happier would our entire community be, if we spread our roots and held on tight to each other instead of our material possessions. Who knows…. We might even live longer!

While the spirit of community was important on 

the frontier because neighbors were so few, 

it is even more important now because our neighbors are so many.

~ Lady Bird Johnson 

Until Now (By Dennis Kuhl)

A while back I was asked if I would be interested in writing a Monday Message. I have thought about this many times but never took the time to do it… until now!

I recently gave a commencement speech to the 2018 graduating class of Mihaylo College of Business and Economics at California State University Fullerton. I agonized over what inspirational thing I could say. I was honored, but kind of scared. I then thought of something Alexander the Great once said, which I think about all the time.

Before dying, Alexander the Great said to his generals, I have 3 wishes. Please carry them out without fail. The generals all agreed to abide by the King’s wishes.

• My first wish. I want only the best physicians alone to carry my coffin.
• My second wish. That the path leading to my grave be covered with gold, silver and precious stones.
• The third and last wish. That both my hands be kept dangling out of my coffin.

The generals said they would carry out his wishes, but he must enlighten them as to why. Alexander the Great replied as follows: 1. I want the best physicians to carry my coffin because people should realize they are powerless, because even the best physicians cannot save a person from the clutches of death. 2. That gold, silver and precious stones on the path to the grave yard is to let people know that I spent my life accumulating riches yet not even one grain of gold will accompany me. I want people to understand that it is a sheer waste of time, energy and peace of mind to yearn to be rich. 3. That my hands dangling out of the coffin are because I want people to know that I came into the world empty handed and likewise, will go out empty handed.

Time is the most precious of all treasures because it is limited. We can produce more wealth, but we cannot produce more time. When we give someone our time, we actually give away a portion of our life that we will never get back. May you have plenty of time and more importantly, may you have the wisdom to give it away!

I said I did not have time. 

But to what did I give my time… 

and was it a fair exchange?

~ Muriel Strode

Expressions of Love

There is an old saying that goes “things happen in threes”. I’m not sure where that saying comes from, but it popped into my head while I was relaxing on the beach this weekend, reading a book called, “The Shack”.

The Shack is a story about a man trying to come overcome feelings of guilt when his young daughter is brutally murdered. But in reality, it’s more of an inspirational story about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and how all three members of this holy trinity interact with us.  I hate to admit it, but I don’t completely understand how the holy trinity works because how can God be three different beings? But then again, there are a lot of things in this world I don’t understand, like politics, taxes, and women for example.

But as I pondered the idea of things happening in threes, I realized something. There is a common thread that runs through the holy trinity. That common thread of course is… love! God created love, Jesus taught us how to love, and the Holy Spirit is the essence of love. So love should obviously be the guiding force in our lives. But that realization brought another question to mind. If love is supposed to be our guiding force, what’s the best way for us to express our love?  

Well, sometimes when I’m struggling with a question, I go for a walk to clear my head. In less than 15 minutes, my journey yesterday quickly turned up three awesome but very different examples of expressions of love. Hey, maybe things really do happen in threes!

A caring woman takes time to converse with a homeless man.

A father takes his daily walk along Beach Road with his crippled son.

A man carries his very old and very sick, but very good friend for a final walk along the beach.

A man is not where he lives, but where he loves.

~ Ancient Latin Proverb