Spring Cleaning

I woke up this morning to the sound of birds singing, letting me know that spring time is finally here. I love hearing those little sparrows singing because it means that the sun is going to be shining and the weather is going to be great; the air a little crisper, the grass a little greener and the sky a more brilliant blue. Spring is here so maybe it’s a great time to do a little spring cleaning!  

There are two types of “spring cleaning”. The first one is where you clear out all the stuff in your attic, pack up all the stuff you don’t need for charity and throw away all the stuff that is worthless. Those are worthy chores for sure and this is a good time to do them, but there is also a different type of spring cleaning you can do, the kind where you clear out all the stuff in your “emotional attic”…meaning your heart.

I guess you could say our hearts are like an emotional attic where we store both love and pain. Those two things shouldn’t go together but quite often they do and I think it’s because when we were created we were given the awesome ability to love, but at the same time we were also given the ability to make choices, and sometimes when we make bad choices…we cause ourselves pain.

But that pain doesn’t have to last.  We have to learn how to ask for forgiveness, believe that we are forgiven and then (and this is the hard part)….forgive ourselves. I’ll give you a real life example.

When I was 16 years old I was living on my own in a small country town, working part-time after school at a gas station out by the highway. I made less than minimum wage and was barely scraping by. One Friday night I was working alone and the head mechanic was supposed to relieve me at 6:00pm. But he called and said he wasn’t coming in and that I had to stay and close the place by myself at midnight. I was tired from a long week, hungry and cold and just wanted to go home. Plus the mechanic was a horrible man, an alcoholic who was downright mean, always getting into bar fights and always yelling at me to do the dirty work. The later it got, the angrier I got, and when midnight finally arrived, I helped myself to a $20.00 bill out of the cash register to buy myself dinner on the way home. I justified it to myself as “overtime pay” but there was no justification. It was wrong on every level and as soon as I got home I regretted it. I have regretted it ever since and feel that it was one of the worst things I have ever done in my life. Obviously if I am relating this story to you, it means I still remember it, but fortunately a few years back I did some “spring cleaning” and decided to forgive myself. I forgave myself because I realized that making that mistake at such a young age taught me a valuable lesson that has guided my life ever since, making me a better man. I have not and will not make that mistake again!

If you’re carrying around some pain from mistakes made in the past, now would be a good time to listen to those little birds singing. They’re singing to remind us that if God can care about something as insignificant as a sparrow, then he certainly cares enough about us to forgive our mistakes…and if He is willing to forgive us, then who are we to argue with Him!

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?

Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care,

and even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  

So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

~ Matthew 10: 29-31

 

Life Support System

My wife and I went shopping at Costco last week to find a set of table and chairs that we could put in the kitchen area of our office. As we were leaving my wife noticed that the large box we purchased said “1 of 2 boxes”. So I had to run back and get the second box and not being very brilliant, I failed to take the cart with me. So I had to carry the second box all the way back by hand. The box was heavy and as I tried to hurry…it slipped out of my hand and a sharp staple sliced three of my fingers. By the time I returned to the exit area my back was hurting, my hand was bleeding and my attitude was going downhill fast.

But…as I stood there like a jerk complaining about my aching back, a young father walked by us. He was pushing a small red wagon in front of him while towing a Costco cart behind him and he was doing pretty good navigating both vehicles through the crowd. But it was the little red wagon that really caught our attention. Inside was a tiny baby girl, probably only 2 years old, lying on her back. She had the sweetest little face and never made a sound, but several times she looked like she was cringing in pain. Inside the wagon she was propped in place with several soft blankets but surrounded by hard metal machines with tubes and electrical cords going everywhere. All that apparatus surrounding her made it look like she was in a rolling red wagon “life support system”. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her and in my heart I immediately started wishing she would smile…and be okay.

The funny thing is - her Dad was smiling! He obviously takes her and her little red wagon out into the world all the time and is used to the difficult situation life has handed them. He knew she was fine, or at least as fine as possible considering the circumstances, and I could see that he was her rock, her provider, her protector, her loving father…and in fact…her real “life support system”.

Let’s face it, the world can be a cruel place, but obviously a sore back is nothing compared to what that little girl and her family are going through. Seeing her and her father go by instantly changed my perspective and softened my attitude. My heart went out to them and it reminded me that all of us need to have people in our lives that “have our backs” (whether they are aching or not), and love us despite our faults and mistakes. It might be a spouse, a family member or a best friend, but they are the ones who are always there for us when we are hurting, lifting us up when we are down, patiently smiling when we are frowning and truly filling the role of being our “life support system”. If you have someone in your life like that…make sure to take a moment today to let them know they are appreciated…and then pay it forward by filling that role for someone you care about.
  

Let us be grateful for people who care about us,

the ones who tow our wagon so we can ride.

 ~ Anonymous

Soul Food

On Wednesday of last week “Survivor” started up again and it’s one of the most successful reality shows on television because the conditions are so extremely harsh. People not only have to battle with each other physically and emotionally, they also have to subsist on minimal food, which messes with their minds. Being hungry not only makes them weak, it causes them to lose their mental focus. It’s a fun show to watch and actually, I have often thought about trying out to see if I could succeed under such difficult conditions.

On Friday of last week I was scheduled for a medical procedure that requires fasting beforehand. In fact you can’t even drink water for 4 hours prior to the procedure. Then after the procedure was over my throat was so sore I could barely swallow. So for about a 48 hour period I felt what it was like to be extremely hungry and it definitely messed with my mental focus. Friday evening for example, as we prepared to go to bed, my wife asked me to turn off the lights and check the front door to make sure it was locked. I told her I took care of everything. She then went out into the living room, turned out the lights and locked the front door. When she came back to the bedroom she just stared at me and said, “Really?” I guess I messed up…I also guess I wouldn’t be a very good candidate for “Survivor” after all.

Obviously being hungry is no fun. Let’s face it, there’s no way you can enjoy life and be your best when your body aches for food. But what about when your soul aches for sustenance? Being hungry made me realize that faith is a lot like food for the soul. If we have faith in God, or at least believe in a higher power of some sort, we can relax knowing that we are loved and that there is a purpose to our life. Faith fills the stomach of our soul, which then gives us the strength to focus on any challenge that comes our way. But if we don’t have faith, it’s like drifting aimlessly while slowly starving, our minds unable to find focus in any direction.

Looking back on my life it’s easy to recall the times when I was spiritually starved. Those were the low points in my life, when I made bad decisions and felt lost and alone. Things are different for me now and I recognize how my faith sustains me on a daily basis. I wish I could bake a “faith cake” and serve it to everyone I meet so they could feel as nourished as I feel inside… but I don’t know how to bake and I doubt that faith is an ingredient I can buy at the store. I can however, speak and write and sing and worship and let my faith explode like a bubbly bottle of champagne, spraying all over my family and friends until they are so soaked in spirituality that they can’t help but absorb it!

 

Cast of Survivor "Worlds Apart" 2015

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.
~Anonymous

 

Evan and Heaven

Not long ago my wife needed a ride to the South County Outreach for a Board meeting. Since her meeting was going to run several hours, I decided that I would drop her off and go play a few holes of golf at Casta Del Sol, which is a small executive course in Mission Viejo. The guy in pro shop said they were pretty busy, but as I approached the 1^st tee, the only people there were a young boy and his mother.

The boy really stood out. He was dressed in neatly pressed golf pants with a bright green golf shirt and cool Nike shoes but his Mom was dressed in street clothes with only a simple umbrella to block the sun. Apparently, she was just there to keep him company. I introduced myself and found out his name was Evan and that he was 12 years old. As he took a few practice swings I could tell he had potential. He said he’d been playing for three years, had a really good coach, and absolutely loved the game.

I teed off and hit a three-wood down the middle of the fairway about 90 yards from the green. Evan teed off next and crushed his driver, landing the ball only 3 feet short of the green. He then chipped close and made his putt for a birdie on the first hole. He landed the green on the second hole and made par. He landed the green on the third hole and made par again. After watching this 12 year old boy kick my butt for six straight holes, I noticed I was running out of time and needed to leave. I was super impressed with the young man, not just because of his beautiful swing but because he was so nice, and so polite, and seemed so much older than he was.

I should mention that back at the second hole he asked me what church I attend. I responded with, “Church?” and he said, “Yeah, I noticed your bracelet that says I am Second, so I was just wondering what church you go to?” So I smiled and told him about several churches in the area and gave him a tip for a good church in his town. Then we immediately went back to discussing golf the rest of the time. As I shook his hand and said goodbye to his mother, I offered him encouragement on his golf game and told him to keep practicing, practicing and then practice some more.

When I got home that evening something dawned on me… and I felt ashamed of myself! When that young boy asked about my bracelet it was a perfect opportunity for me to share my faith or at the very least share a story of one of the many ways God has touched my life. If I could go back in time…here is what I wish I would have said to Evan. “Golf is a lot like life. If you practice hard and play the game right with honesty and integrity… you will do well. It’s the same in life. If you practice hard every day doing what is right and treat people with honesty and integrity… you will be rewarded here on earth as well as later on in heaven.

I felt like I was put there at that moment to tell Evan about heaven and I blew it. Or maybe not……. Maybe Evan was put there to remind me of heaven!

 

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.

~ Henry David Thoreau

 

Uninhibited Happiness

On Sunday I decided to go to a baseball practice at Fullerton College, so just before noon I left my house and headed up Camino Capistrano towards the freeway. As I passed by the street corner near Costco and the Verizon Store, I spotted a monkey jumping up and down. It wasn't a real monkey; it wasn't even a very good fake monkey. W hat it was...was an enthusiastic young man dressed in a monkey suit waving a Verizon sign. He's at that street corner a lot and never seems to get tired of jumping up and down and waving at motorists. He looks ridiculous and I guess that's kind of the point. It's hard not to notice someone who looks so ridiculous yet seems so happy.

After a grueling three hour baseball practice, I climbed into my truck and headed home. As I passed the corner of Chapman and State College I noticed a young woman wearing a crazy looking long green dress and a tiara, dancing, singing, smiling and waving a sign. I don't know what her sign said because she was so busy jumping, dancing and singing that I couldn't get a fix on the actual sign. I had to stop at the red light at her corner so I watched her dance and sing for over a minute and she seemed utterly and deliriously happy. At one point she spotted me watching her and she got the biggest smile on her face. Then she waved directly at me and although I tried not to...I had to smile and wave back. Smiling and laughing are contagious and I definitely caught her bug!

 

There is something about a person who smiles easily and laughs a lot that makes the world a better place. I know it's not easy to be happy all the time. Obviously the world can be a tough place and new problems seem to crop up all the time. But I thank God for the people in this world that have the gift of "uninhibited happiness" and make the effort to spread it generously.

 

I am not a particularly funny guy, but overall I am really happy person because I realize how blessed I am. So...I think I will make a concentrated effort from now on to smile a little more often and laugh a little louder. In fact, instead of just sharing my money and possessions with others, I think I'll start sharing my happiness. It costs less....but it’s worth more! 

 

Future Street Corner Advertising Executive!

 

 

Happiness held is the seed; happiness shared is the flower. 

 ~ Anonymous           

 

 

Mixed Emotions

I always have mixed emotions around this time of year. I love that Valentines Day is coming up February 14^th, because it gives me the opportunity to do something romantic for my wife. But February 12^th is the day my father passed away and although it has been nearly 14 years I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

Losing my dad was devastating because he had always been my rock and my best friend and I loved him very much. Fortunately I did not have to face that situation alone. I had a loving wife who was at my side at the hospital, every day for six months. And when my Dad took his final breath, I was holding his hand…and she was holding mine. I will never forget her support when I needed it most and I hope she knows that she will always have mine.

Going through a difficult situation is typically when you find out whether or not your love is real. Tough times can threaten a lot of relationships, but if your love is cemented with respect and admiration, and if you understand that love means giving more than taking, your relationship can be strengthened instead of destroyed.

Recently I came across a note I wrote to my wife right after I learned my Dad was terminally ill. It wasn’t a Valentines Letter, but it was a letter celebrating our love. I hesitate to share it, because it is so personal, yet it does seem appropriate for a Valentine’s Message.

A copy of the letter is below……

One word frees us from all of the weight and pain of life;

That word is love.

~Sophocles

 

 

 

 

February 1^st, 2001

Dear Debby,

I Now Know

There is a very difficult situation that lies ahead. That it will be particularly hard on me and that I will need your help, your love, and your utmost patience. I will be strong for I am a warrior. Whether or not I make it through this situation is not even a question, because with you, I know I can make it through anything. Although I do not know what lies ahead or what the future holds, I do know that you have always been there for me, to listen, to talk, to share, and to love with all of your heart…..as I love you with all of mine. We will get through this….together!

My Wish For Us

That we will continue to share new interests and adventures

And allow each other the freedom to develop as individuals.

That our faith won’t be shaken by occasional feelings of hurt or anger.

That we will continue to acknowledge our differences openly,

And see them as opportunities to learn and grow closer.

That we will find in each disagreement the patience to listen,

The courage to trust, and the strength to forgive.

That we will find in each difficult situation that plaques our lives,

The wisdom to work together, to find the right answers.

May We Never Forget

The qualities that first attracted us to each other

And how much we still appreciate them.

To always inspire each other, applauding successes,

Nurturing strengths, believing in each other’s dreams,

And working as one to make them come true.

 

May We Always

 Look into each other’s heart and see the love that binds us.

 

Love,

Joseph

 

 

 

Something's Missing

Yesterday, instead of going to a Super Bowl Party or a friend’s house, I decided to stay home and watch the game on TV. As I munched on great appetizers and watched a really hard fought football game my mind drifted back 40 years ago, to another time where I watched the game at home...alone.

It was 1975 and I was 19 years old and loved watching football. The Super Bowl that year had two future hall of fame quarterbacks with Terry Bradshaw and the Steelers beating Fran Tarkenton and the Vikings, 16-6. It was a great game but a horrible time in my life. I had just recently broken up with my girlfriend, dropped out of college and moved from Northern California to Orange County to try to start over. I was nearly broke and living at a tiny motel on Harbor Boulevard in Costa Mesa. I was truly alone for the first time in my life, my job prospects were bleak, and to make matters worse I had an infection and needed antibiotics but couldn’t afford to see a doctor. I hate to admit it but I remember sitting in that tiny motel room, staring at that tiny TV and crying my eyes out. I was sick and in pain, but it was the utter and absolute loneliness that finally broke my spirit. I felt lost and didn’t think anything good, or anyone good, would ever come my way.

Fast forward to 2015 and again two future hall of fame quarterbacks are battling it out in the Super Bowl. Again I’m watching the game at home and it’s a tiny little place, but things couldn’t be more different. This time I’m watching the game in the living room of a beautiful little beach house, with a gorgeous view of the ocean on one side of me and a gorgeous wife on the other side. We ate crab legs for appetizers and dined on home made carnitas burritos for dinner. Our relationship is awesome and our love for each other is stronger than ever. Our company is doing well; our children and grandchildren are healthy and are friends are many and amazing. I’m not sick, I’m not alone and I’m not lost...I’m right where I am supposed to be! Funny thing is…back in 1975 I was right where I was supposed to be as well.

I hated my life in 1975 but in looking back I realize that it was an important lesson for me. I wasn’t miserable that year because I was sick a lot, or because I had to live in a tiny motel room, or because I often went hungry. I was miserable because I was…alone! That period in my life taught me something really important. It taught me to never take my blessings for granted and that one of the greatest blessings we can have in life is a loving relationship with another person.

 

When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone.

~Robert Brault