Uninhibited Happiness

On Sunday I decided to go to a baseball practice at Fullerton College, so just before noon I left my house and headed up Camino Capistrano towards the freeway. As I passed by the street corner near Costco and the Verizon Store, I spotted a monkey jumping up and down. It wasn't a real monkey; it wasn't even a very good fake monkey. W hat it was...was an enthusiastic young man dressed in a monkey suit waving a Verizon sign. He's at that street corner a lot and never seems to get tired of jumping up and down and waving at motorists. He looks ridiculous and I guess that's kind of the point. It's hard not to notice someone who looks so ridiculous yet seems so happy.

After a grueling three hour baseball practice, I climbed into my truck and headed home. As I passed the corner of Chapman and State College I noticed a young woman wearing a crazy looking long green dress and a tiara, dancing, singing, smiling and waving a sign. I don't know what her sign said because she was so busy jumping, dancing and singing that I couldn't get a fix on the actual sign. I had to stop at the red light at her corner so I watched her dance and sing for over a minute and she seemed utterly and deliriously happy. At one point she spotted me watching her and she got the biggest smile on her face. Then she waved directly at me and although I tried not to...I had to smile and wave back. Smiling and laughing are contagious and I definitely caught her bug!

 

There is something about a person who smiles easily and laughs a lot that makes the world a better place. I know it's not easy to be happy all the time. Obviously the world can be a tough place and new problems seem to crop up all the time. But I thank God for the people in this world that have the gift of "uninhibited happiness" and make the effort to spread it generously.

 

I am not a particularly funny guy, but overall I am really happy person because I realize how blessed I am. So...I think I will make a concentrated effort from now on to smile a little more often and laugh a little louder. In fact, instead of just sharing my money and possessions with others, I think I'll start sharing my happiness. It costs less....but it’s worth more! 

 

Future Street Corner Advertising Executive!

 

 

Happiness held is the seed; happiness shared is the flower. 

 ~ Anonymous           

 

 

Mixed Emotions

I always have mixed emotions around this time of year. I love that Valentines Day is coming up February 14^th, because it gives me the opportunity to do something romantic for my wife. But February 12^th is the day my father passed away and although it has been nearly 14 years I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

Losing my dad was devastating because he had always been my rock and my best friend and I loved him very much. Fortunately I did not have to face that situation alone. I had a loving wife who was at my side at the hospital, every day for six months. And when my Dad took his final breath, I was holding his hand…and she was holding mine. I will never forget her support when I needed it most and I hope she knows that she will always have mine.

Going through a difficult situation is typically when you find out whether or not your love is real. Tough times can threaten a lot of relationships, but if your love is cemented with respect and admiration, and if you understand that love means giving more than taking, your relationship can be strengthened instead of destroyed.

Recently I came across a note I wrote to my wife right after I learned my Dad was terminally ill. It wasn’t a Valentines Letter, but it was a letter celebrating our love. I hesitate to share it, because it is so personal, yet it does seem appropriate for a Valentine’s Message.

A copy of the letter is below……

One word frees us from all of the weight and pain of life;

That word is love.

~Sophocles

 

 

 

 

February 1^st, 2001

Dear Debby,

I Now Know

There is a very difficult situation that lies ahead. That it will be particularly hard on me and that I will need your help, your love, and your utmost patience. I will be strong for I am a warrior. Whether or not I make it through this situation is not even a question, because with you, I know I can make it through anything. Although I do not know what lies ahead or what the future holds, I do know that you have always been there for me, to listen, to talk, to share, and to love with all of your heart…..as I love you with all of mine. We will get through this….together!

My Wish For Us

That we will continue to share new interests and adventures

And allow each other the freedom to develop as individuals.

That our faith won’t be shaken by occasional feelings of hurt or anger.

That we will continue to acknowledge our differences openly,

And see them as opportunities to learn and grow closer.

That we will find in each disagreement the patience to listen,

The courage to trust, and the strength to forgive.

That we will find in each difficult situation that plaques our lives,

The wisdom to work together, to find the right answers.

May We Never Forget

The qualities that first attracted us to each other

And how much we still appreciate them.

To always inspire each other, applauding successes,

Nurturing strengths, believing in each other’s dreams,

And working as one to make them come true.

 

May We Always

 Look into each other’s heart and see the love that binds us.

 

Love,

Joseph

 

 

 

Something's Missing

Yesterday, instead of going to a Super Bowl Party or a friend’s house, I decided to stay home and watch the game on TV. As I munched on great appetizers and watched a really hard fought football game my mind drifted back 40 years ago, to another time where I watched the game at home...alone.

It was 1975 and I was 19 years old and loved watching football. The Super Bowl that year had two future hall of fame quarterbacks with Terry Bradshaw and the Steelers beating Fran Tarkenton and the Vikings, 16-6. It was a great game but a horrible time in my life. I had just recently broken up with my girlfriend, dropped out of college and moved from Northern California to Orange County to try to start over. I was nearly broke and living at a tiny motel on Harbor Boulevard in Costa Mesa. I was truly alone for the first time in my life, my job prospects were bleak, and to make matters worse I had an infection and needed antibiotics but couldn’t afford to see a doctor. I hate to admit it but I remember sitting in that tiny motel room, staring at that tiny TV and crying my eyes out. I was sick and in pain, but it was the utter and absolute loneliness that finally broke my spirit. I felt lost and didn’t think anything good, or anyone good, would ever come my way.

Fast forward to 2015 and again two future hall of fame quarterbacks are battling it out in the Super Bowl. Again I’m watching the game at home and it’s a tiny little place, but things couldn’t be more different. This time I’m watching the game in the living room of a beautiful little beach house, with a gorgeous view of the ocean on one side of me and a gorgeous wife on the other side. We ate crab legs for appetizers and dined on home made carnitas burritos for dinner. Our relationship is awesome and our love for each other is stronger than ever. Our company is doing well; our children and grandchildren are healthy and are friends are many and amazing. I’m not sick, I’m not alone and I’m not lost...I’m right where I am supposed to be! Funny thing is…back in 1975 I was right where I was supposed to be as well.

I hated my life in 1975 but in looking back I realize that it was an important lesson for me. I wasn’t miserable that year because I was sick a lot, or because I had to live in a tiny motel room, or because I often went hungry. I was miserable because I was…alone! That period in my life taught me something really important. It taught me to never take my blessings for granted and that one of the greatest blessings we can have in life is a loving relationship with another person.

 

When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone.

~Robert Brault   

 

Bad Apples

One of my faults (and the list is long) is making assumptions about people based on how they look, act, or talk. I know that “assuming” anything about a person is a bad idea but I also know that the older we get, the more likely we are to make quick assumptions. I think it’s because we get set in our ways…and think our own ways are best. That’s not a good thing and we older people shouldn’t think like that. We need to keep an open mind and an open heart at all times!

Saturday morning my wife and I went to Irvine to watch our oldest son play Roller Hockey. It was the championship game for their adult hockey league so we didn’t want to miss it. As we sat on the bleachers a young boy about 9 years old kept yelling, “Go Dad. Go Bad Apples!” Apparently the name of my son’s hockey team is “Bad Apples”. The young boy yelled non-stop encouragement to his Dad and the rest of the team the entire game and it cracked me up - because as far as I could tell there wasn’t a bad apple in the bunch. All the men played well, showed good sportsmanship and shook hands at the end. My son scored a goal and the Bad Apples won the championship, but despite being tough hockey players with a Bad Apples name, they were actually all really nice guys.

I guess what I’m trying to say can be best highlighted by a story I read this weekend. It also happens to be about bad apples.

From Readers Digest:

My grandfather was a rancher and would often take us grandkids for walks in his apple orchards. He would find apples that had been partially eaten by birds and carve off the opposite side to give to us kids. One day I asked him, “Why don’t you give us the ripe looking apples that aren’t touched by the birds?” I assumed he was such a miser that he wanted to keep the good apples and sell them in town instead of sharing them with his grandkids. He patted my head affectionately and said, “Birds have a keen sense of smell and will only eat the apples that are the sweetest. So you see…I pick only the best apples for you!” The lesson I learned that day…Never assume, always ask!

I may be getting old and I may have some faults, but making assumptions about people shouldn’t be one of them. So maybe if I keep an open mind and an open heart, people won’t assume I am as old as I really am!

The Hockey Garage "Bad Apples" Win League Championship!

Your assumptions are your windows on the world.

Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in.

~Isaac Asimov 

Rich Enough

Besides owning my own company, I am also a salesperson with a lot of great customers. I really enjoy my job, however the problem with being a salesperson is that your job is never really done. No matter how many phone calls you make, emails you send out or sales calls you go on there is still more that you could do because the potential is only limited by the amount of work you are willing to do. That’s actually true in most professions, the harder you work the more success you will achieve…and the more success you achieve the more money you will make. But when is enough money…enough?

That’s a great question regarding balance and moderation. Being lazy will get you nowhere and working too much will only get you to your grave early, so how do we achieve balance in life?

There once was a very successful lighting salesman who bought hotdogs from a downtown San Diego street vendor almost every day. The hotdogs were delicious and the crusty old man who sold them was quick with a smile and a funny story. One day the salesman found the street vendor closing up at noon. He asked him, “Why are you closing so early? Is something wrong?” A smile wrinkled the old man’s leathery face as he replied, “Not at all. I am just going home so I can sit on my patio and sip ice tea with my wife.” The perplexed salesman said, “But the day is still young and you can still sell lots of hotdogs.” “No need to”, replied the street vendor, “I’ve made enough money for today.”

“That’s crazy” said the salesman, “It’s the best time of day to sell hotdogs and if you stick with it you can sell a lot more. The more hotdogs you sell, the more money you make. The more money you make the richer you become. The richer you become the more hotdog carts you can buy. With more hotdog carts, you can sell more hotdogs, and by selling more hotdogs, you become even richer. When you’re rich enough, you can sell all your hotdog carts and then go home and sip tea with your wife.” “Well, I can do that today, so I guess I am rich enough…for today!

I love my job and I enjoy the success and money that come from hard work. But I also love my wife, children, grandchildren, employees, customers and hundreds of friends, so I strive for balance every single day. In fact, my New Year’s Resolution this year is to slow down and realize that if I have the love and respect of my family and friends, then I am already truly rich enough!

 

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

~ Ancient Buddhist Saying 

 

Magnified A Million Times

There are a million things right with my wife but there's also something wrong with her, medically speaking, and I don't know what it is. I had to rush her to the ER last Monday because she was having trouble breathing. They ran a battery of tests on her, but no definite prognosis came out of it, so I took her to see an expert Pulmonologist on Friday. He wasn't sure what was wrong, so he scheduled additional blood tests for this morning. All I know for sure is that these doctor visits bring back a flood of bad memories...

Twelve years ago my wife had trouble breathing, over and over again, and eventually one of her lungs collapsed. She was operated on multiple times over a period of three years before they were finally able to rebuild one of her lungs properly. So those were definitely dark times for us. I hated staying at the hospital for weeks on end, worrying every moment that she might stop breathing again. But I refused to leave her side. One good thing that came about during that difficult period of time was coming up with the idea to write Monday Messages.

The idea of writing inspirational messages came to me because I realized that whenever I worried about my wife's health and focused on what was wrong... it became magnified. The more I worried about her fear and her pain, the more my fear and pain increased. But I discovered that if I focused on the good times, on the things that were going right, those thoughts took center stage and my troubles drifted into the background. Writing inspirational messages really helped me to focus on good things and take my mind off my worries. One night I remember waking up from a really bad nightmare on this tiny metal cot at the foot of her hospital bed. I was shaking when I stood up and as I leaned over her to make sure she was breathing, she had all these tubes and IV's attached, so the scene itself was a nightmare. But as I gazed at her sweet little sleeping face, I gently took hold of her hand and forced my mind to think of the great times we had on our honeymoon in Hawaii. I stood there with my eyes closed, squeezing her hand as I remembered the beautiful sunshine, brilliant blue skies and warm water rushing over us. I guessed I squeezed a little too hard because she woke up and asked me why I was smiling. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I do remember her smiling back at me...and for the first time in weeks, I relaxed.

It's human nature to worry, especially about our loved ones. But if we remember that we get to choose what we focus on... and that whatever we focus on gets magnified... then we can choose to magnify the good instead of the bad. That will not only help us enjoy life more, I'm sure it will help our loved ones as well. In my case, since there are a million things right with my wife, I think I will focus on all those things... and that should keep me way too busy to worry about what's wrong!

Your life is your garden.
Your thoughts are the seeds.
If your life isn't awesome,
It’s cause you're watering the weeds. 

~ Anonymous

Six Words

What was the best gift you received over the holidays? For me it was a tough question to answer.

First, our company Christmas party was the best we’ve ever had. Even though we were missing one beloved employee who passed away this year, there was still so much love and joy in the room that I didn’t want to leave when it was over. And even though my wife and I gave away really great gifts to each one of our awesome employees, when we left… I felt like we had received the best gift of all!

Second, our youngest daughter hosted a Christmas morning breakfast at her new apartment. She just moved back into town after six years of being away at college. I cooked biscuits and gravy which is a family tradition and we opened presents together. It was absolutely one of the best Christmas mornings ever. Having three out of four children now living nearby is a truly precious gift!

Third, I received some great news from oldest daughter. She is in her third year at Chapman Law School and she just finished acing her finals, making her one of the top ranked students in her class. This is a young woman who is not only leading her law school class; she is also working hard to raise three wonderful children at the same time. I am so proud of her hard work and accomplishments!

Fourth, while my oldest son gave me some great gifts, it was the card he gave me that had the most profound impact. Inside the card he thanked me for being, “the constant role model to me” and those six words really touched my heart. I will save that card and treasure those words forever!

But as I placed that card on my dresser last night, it got me thinking. We don’t just “role model” for our children. If we want to truly honor God in all that we do, then every where we go and with everyone we come in contact with…even in the smallest areas…we have to remember that we are representing Him in our daily lives. I know I fail sometimes, especially in the small areas, and I feel really bad about that. But my long term goal, my biggest hope is that someday when I leave this earth, God will be pleased with my efforts and utter another six words that I so very much long to hear…

 

Well done good and faithful servant.

 ~ Matthew 25:23