A Lot Bit Better

I received my second Covid booster shot this past week. It didn’t affect me at first, but the next morning I felt like total crap, with aches and pains and a really bad headache. It gave me a small inkling of what it must be like for people who get Covid, but obviously on a much smaller scale. I didn’t mind the symptoms though, because I not only want to protect myself, I want to protect my wife as well.

Fortunately, I felt a little bit better the next day… and that got me thinking. My wife is the absolute love of my life. She is amazing in so many ways and brings me great joy and happiness. She is precious to me. So much so, that over the past 28 years we have only spent 4 nights apart and I love her more today than ever. Therefore, as her husband, I see my role as being the one to provide for her, protect her. and show her my love every moment of every day.

Unfortunately, with Covid ramping up again I find myself worrying about her every moment of every day. She can’t get a booster vaccine to protect herself from Covid because when she received her second vaccination, she developed pericarditis (a dangerous swelling of the tissue around the heart). That combined with her compromised immune system due to multiple lung surgeries, makes her a potential candidate for very serious consequences if she were to get Covid.  So I worry… a lot!

And that got me thinking… First off, I shouldn’t be “worrying” so much. I should instead be praying for the health of my family and then exhibiting my faith by trusting God to always act in our best interest. But I admit it’s hard to have such strong faith that you never truly worry about anything…

And admitting that to myself got me thinking even more… I believe the secret to trusting God is to strengthen our faith and the secret to stronger faith is to get to know God better. One way that I have been doing that for the past 12 years is that I’ve been faithfully reading my Bible every morning. Most of the time just for 10 minutes, sometimes more, sometimes less. But the point is that every time I read it, I pick up little nuggets of wisdom that stick in my unconscious mind. I find those nuggets popping up during the day and reminding me that there is a God that loves me, a God that will never desert me.

So it occurred to me… Every time I read my Bible, every time I pray, every time I put my trust in God, I get to know Him a little bit better. And you know what… that makes me feel a lot bit better!

God is in the hearts of all, and those that seek Him 

will surely find Him when they need Him the most.

~ Louisa May Alcott

For Example

Father’s Day was really unusual for me this year for several reasons. For example, I didn’t actually get to see any of my four adult children yesterday, which seems like it would wreck Father’s Day, but it didn’t because my children are awesome. All four of them went out of their way to touch base with me and make sure I felt their love.

My youngest son was going out of town for the weekend, so he made the effort to stop by and see me on Thursday. My oldest son moved out of town last year, but he made the effort to call me, and we talked for half an hour about everything from golf to hockey, to outdoor grilling. My oldest daughter was at our house the day before Father’s Day, so we got to spend some quality time together and she had a couple of very thoughtful gifts for me. And that was a good thing because her son came down with Covid yesterday preventing her from attending our planned Father’s Day dinner. And my youngest daughter also had a brush with Covid, and rather than come over for a lengthy dinner party and put us at risk, she made a quick trip over to our house today instead, and hand delivered some really great gifts to her dear old Dad.

Father’s Day made me feel very blessed to have children who have turned out so great. All four of them are hard workers with big hearts. But it also reminded me of how hard it is to be a Dad… and how important it is to set a good example. I worried about them so much when they were little and tried to connect with each one. I wanted to teach them all the cool things I had learned, share some of my failures as well as successes. But my wife, the truly wise one, would always remind me, “They aren’t always going to listen to you. So you need to remember that the best way to help them learn how to be successful and happy in life, is simply to set a good example.”

My wife was right about that and it’s something that every Mother and Father needs to remember. We can’t expect our kids to do the right thing, if we don’t do the right thing, all the time. That’s a tall order, but remember there are several things you can do. For example… set a good example!

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.

My mother would come out and say, “you’re tearing up the grass.”

“We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys."
                       ~ Harmon Killebrew, Professional Base Player, 1984

                  

Nobody Gets Hurt

Father’s Day is coming up and it reminds me of all the wonderful times my Dad and I spent together when he was alive. He’s been gone for over 20 years now, but his words and his insightful life lessons still live on in me today. Especially the one about how we should always strive to help others, not hurt others, if we want to live a meaningful life.

I remember one time when my Dad came to the High School to pick me up after a track meet. I was just a starry-eyed freshman and extremely intimidated by the older guys at school, especially the better athletes. After the track meet was over, one of the seniors on the varsity track team was berating my teammates and I on the JV team because we lost. He called one of my friends a loser and shoved him to the ground. It shocked me and without thinking I slugged the guy and we got into quite a brawl. I was scared to get into a fight, so scared I think my legs were shaking, and I was pretty sure I was going to die. But I was so angry about my friend getting hurt, that I fought as hard as I could. I didn’t win that fight, but I didn’t really lose either because when the word got out at school that I didn’t back down to a senior, the older guys pretty much left me alone from then on.

But the funny thing is, I felt really bad about getting into a fight and especially for intentionally trying to hurt another human being. It bothered me so much I decided to tell my Dad about it right away. On the car ride home he listened quietly and stayed quiet for a long time. I figured he was mad at me and that made me feel even worse. But as we parked in our driveway, he finally spoke up. I don’t remember his exact words, but in a stern voice he said something like, “Joseph, you should absolutely never put your hands on another person - unless you are defending yourself or someone else. There will be times when you are tested, times when other people try to hurt you, but remember that your words are your most powerful weapon, so use them first and your fists second.”

Later that evening, I asked my Dad if he was still angry with me, and he didn’t really answer me. Instead he gave me some more advice. He told me that there are two types of people in this world, those that lead and those that follow. If you go through life scared and simply follow what everyone else does, your life won’t have much meaning, and trust me… you’re going to get hurt. But if you have the courage to do what you know is right, you will become a true leader, who will then inspire others to do the same, and that means nobody gets hurt!

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. 

~ Muhammad Ali 

10,000 HOURS

As a golf fan, and one who is struggling to obtain a single digit handicap, I recently picked up a book about Tiger Woods. It’s a biography of one of the greatest athletes in the world, but it’s also a book containing interesting insights into what it takes to get to become “elite” at any endeavor. One of those insights was about the 10,000-hour rule.

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of the 10,000-hour rule, but it refers to how long it typically takes to become an expert at something. Whether your desire is to become a concert level pianist, a major league ballplayer, or a scratch golfer, it takes time, lots of time… and lots of practice. But the concept isn’t just about putting in the time and constantly practicing, it’s about “deliberate practice”, which is defined as purposeful, focused, and uncomfortable.

That definition caught my attention, especially the “uncomfortable” part. Too many times I have found myself practicing a sport in mindless fashion, just putting in the time and going through the motions. That isn’t practicing, that’s wasting time. And looking back I can see why I wasn’t making progress. Deliberate practice is where you make a plan, set specific goals, and stay intensely focused at all times, which can be mentally exhausting. Hence, the uncomfortable part. Kind of like, no pain no gain.

In the book about Tiger Woods, it mentions how it takes most people 15-20 years to get to the 10,000-hour mark. However, and this is most likely due to his obsessive father, Tiger had already put in 10,0000 hours of deliberate practice by the time he was 12 years old. That explains a lot about how Tiger became one of the greatest golfers of all time. It might also explain why Tiger had so much trouble with the rest of his life.

And that got me thinking… I want to become a better golfer, but it’s more important to me to become a better man. So before I head out to the practice range, I think I will deliberately take time to kiss my wife, text my kids to tell them I love them, and call my sister who is in the hospital. Hopefully, between now and dead, I can reach my goal of 10,000 hours of deliberate practice in both golf… and life!

If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s golf. 

 ~ Anonymous