No Pressure

This not so wonderful year of 2020 is almost over. And I’m sure you would agree that this has been one of the most stressful years that any of us has ever lived through.

Stress and pressure are really painful emotions. In fact, I was feeling especially stressed and worried recently when I went for a walk on the beach. As I started my walk, I stopped near my neighbor’s house which has huge boulders placed on the beach side to protect it from high surf and waves. Each boulder probably weighs over a 1000 pounds, and that’s what I felt like I was carrying on each one of my shoulders.

I guess I was letting the pressure of work, money, family, and loneliness (thank you Covid!) weigh all too heavily on me when I spotted something unusual. There was a huge boulder sitting on top of another huge boulder at an angle. The top boulder should have rolled off, but it didn’t because there was a small rock caught underneath it at just the right spot. I stared at that tiny little rock and laughed, thinking, “Wow, that little guy has way more pressure on him then I ever will.”

Laughing made me feel better. In fact, I immediately started thinking about some of the things that are going right in my life, instead of focusing on all the things going wrong caused by the pandemic. I decided to try to come up with a list of just a few of the good things that exist in my life, things I should be happy about and appreciate. Within 10 minutes I had come up with a list of 10 things that are going right that create happiness in my life.

And that got me thinking… The entire time I was thinking about the good things in my life, I never once felt any pressure about the bad things going on in my life. So here is my suggestion for the New Year. Spend your time focusing on the good in your life, and you won’t have any time left for the bad! 

Ten Blessings I Appreciate

I have a loving wife with a generous heart who constantly inspires me

 

My Children and Grandchildren are healthy and well

 

I have a job that I enjoy, one that makes me feel productive

 

I have a safe vehicle to drive and decent roads to drive on

 

I can have food safely delivered to my home during this pandemic

 

I have a home filled with love inside and a beautiful view outside

 

My back is sketchy, but I can still play the game of golf that I love

 

I get to share my faith and ideas through my weekly Monday Messages

 

The beauty of nature that surrounds me is an amazing source of joy

 

I have confidence that I can overcome any burden I face because 

no problem I have is greater than the God I have!

Problems and Promises

With the year of 2020 soon coming to a close, a thought occurred to me. The world has changed. Or at least my world has changed, and it will never be the same again.

For most of my adult life I lived what you would consider a normal life. I fell in love, got married, raised children, and worked 5 days a week. I attended my children’s school events, took my family to church on Sundays, played on a men’s baseball team and occasionally golfed on weekends. My wife and I went to concerts with friends and had friends over to visit. And I really enjoyed going out to dinner with my wife, where we would hold hands and smile, look deep into the eyes of one another, and talk about our wild and crazy, adventure filled life, with its multitude of problems and promises.  

However, this year has obviously been very different, and we now have a new normal. A new normal that does not include any of those fun filled activities listed above... except for maybe the last one. 2020 may have taken away the pleasure of going out to eat at a nice restaurant, but for 9 months now, my wife and I have gotten to enjoy every single breakfast, lunch, and dinner together - every single day! That has been the bright spot in an otherwise very dark year.

2020 may have forced us to stay home, but it has also allowed us to spend more time together than ever before. I think that’s probably true for a lot of husbands and wives and families. In our case, spending so much time together has caused our love to grow deeper and stronger than I ever thought possible. The bond that we now share is a blessing beyond blessings and it’s taught me a valuable lesson that is especially poignant at Christmas time. The greatest gift ever given to mankind was when God showed us his love by sending his son to spend time with us here on earth. Which means that no matter what problems we may have - spending time with the ones we love - will help us overcome them. And that’s a promise!

"And there were shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flocks by night, and lo the angel of the lord came upon them and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid, and the angel said unto them, fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a savior who is Christ the Lord. And suddenly there was with the angels a multitude of the heavenly hosts, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth - peace, good will toward men."

   “And that’s the real meaning of Christmas – Charlie Brown!”

Binge Love (By Debby Thrailkill)

Part of our coping strategy during 2020 has been to binge watch new television shows on Netflix as suggested by our 30 something family members. So far, we’ve watched The Marvelous Ms. Maisel (a dream escape), Downton Abbey (glorious in character), Fleabag (eye opening humor) Schitt’s Creek (hilarious and heartfelt), and lately we’ve been watching Grace and Frankie and I’m absolutely mesmerized.

Grace and Frankie (Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin) are unceremoniously dumped by their long-time husbands in the first episode. Their husbands who are business partners have fallen in love with each other over the years and have determined they are gay. This throws Grace and Frankie into a tailspin together… but together they weather the storm.

What has touched me the most in these fictional characters is how Frankie is so free spirited and artistic, a mother with a loving soul. I want to be more like Frankie in 2021 and beyond. Currently I see a lot of myself in Grace, but what I see in Frankie truly inspires me. While Grace and her husband fought after the disclosure, Frankie and her soon to be ex-husband Sol, held each other close, embracing the moment together. Frankie is passionate, forgiving, and creative, sometimes with wild disregard for common sense. Her love and passion are what endear her to the audience.

Frankie demonstrates the essence of someone living in the moment, loving those around her in spite of their faults, and always seeing the positive of that. Frankie gets more out of life because she sees more than what is obvious. She thinks deeper and she feels stronger. Every character in the show is drawn to Frankie because she is interesting and spontaneous and funny. And mostly because she is real.

And that got me thinking… From now on, I want to be as “in the moment” as possible. I want to notice what others may not see and I want to appreciate it, out loud! I want to love others like no one else has, and hope that my loved ones will feel the strength of that love and know that they can depend on my love. What matters most in life is how you treat others, so let’s “binge love” each other… and perhaps together we can weather any storm!

If there is a day to act on the love in your soul, 

it is today, it is this moment.

~ Mike Dolan

Beautiful Noise

I made a serious mistake Saturday night. Right before I went to sleep, I watched the news. Oh my gosh, I shouldn’t have done that! It was so depressing. More virus infections than ever, more people out of work than ever, more deaths than ever before. Doctors and nurses stretched beyond belief. Made it so hard to go to sleep.

When I woke up Sunday morning, it was really early and the sun wasn’t up yet, but the waves sure were. The ocean was making its presence known. The waves were absolutely pounding the shore, over and over again, crashing and banging, never ending, sometimes crazy loud, sometimes so powerful they made our house shake (I know, hard to believe, but we’re on the second story and the house really does rock and roll at times.) I laid there listening to a noise that was frightening at times… and yet absolutely beautiful in its own right.

Later that day, my wife and I went for a long bike ride up and down Beach Road. She told me how she wanted to give away some money before the end of the year. I figured she meant shopping at Nordstroms, but what she actually meant was doing something to help others in need. Duh! I listened to her thoughts and ideas and she told me some stories, like how our Pastor has an elderly friend who lost her husband and had to move into a trailer with a stranger. She said there are hundreds of hardship stories out there right now and I guess her point was… if we can help even one of those people in need, it will be a great way to finish out the year, a year that has been harder than we could have ever imagined.

And that got me thinking… There are only 21 days left in this F#^!@*ing year of 2020. How are we going to spend those final days? What if... What if we found someone worse off than ourselves and gave them a helping hand? What if we finished the year out with a crash and a bang, just like those crazy waves crashing on the beach by my house. What if we finished out the year by making some beautiful noise? Trust me, it wouldn’t be a mistake!  

A problem is always… a chance for you to do your best!

~ Duke Ellington