Searching for Something

It seems like everyone I know is searching for something. A better job, a better home, a better car, a better diet, a better  life. But I think that what everyone is really searching for, is happiness. So why is happiness so elusive?

Maybe this story will help. When I first started dating my wife, I was coming out of a long- term marriage that wasn’t ever very good. We were simply two different people who didn’t relate to each other well at all. I always felt lonely and sad, which as a positive person went totally against my nature. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure out that my unhappiness was rooted in my marriage, but it probably had to do with ignorance and fear. But somehow, I got the courage and the common sense to finally move on… and that’s when I finally found happiness!

When we first met, I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, but something attracted me to her right away. I remember her smile being so genuine and how she made me smile back. I hadn’t dated in over 17 years, so it was really scary for me, but Debby had a certain spark that really got my heart racing. It seemed like she was perfect for me, but I kept thinking there is now way that I could be that lucky.

A few months into dating, we decided to go to a new Chinese Restaurant that neither one of us had ever tried before. It was called “Good Luck Restaurant”, which looking back was a bit prophetic. The only problem was that the restaurant was closing when we got there. But we were really hungry so I asked the lady at the counter if she had any food already made we could take to go. She seemed upset with me and was probably tired from a long day, but she agreed to sell us some left-over chow mein. When I checked the bag, I noticed there weren’t any fortune cookies, so I asked about it, and oh man, she flipped out. “So, you want cookies too!!!” She reached behind her, grabbed a full bag of fortune cookies that wasn’t even opened yet, and tossed them at me yelling, “Get out now!”

It was a bit embarrassing, but we laughed it off and gladly took our 25 fortune cookies out the door with us. We found a table outside and after chowing down, we each picked a fortune cookie to open. Mine said, “Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you.” I immediately looked at Debby sitting next to me and discovered her fortune cookie said exactly the same thing! At that point we both laughed and figured that every cookie must be the same. But incredibly, there were no other cookies that had that same saying. In fact, every cookie had a unique saying except for the first two that we opened. We kind of just stared into each other’s eyes after that, not really knowing what to say, but definitely knowing that something special was happening between us.

Falling in love and being loved back would be my definition of finding happiness. But I didn’t find it because I was searching for it…I found it because I paid attention to the people who were right in front of me!

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, 

but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.  

~ Frederick Keonig

Open Doors

There are some important changes I need to make in my life right now, but I’m hesitating because change is hard… and change is scary. Why is that?

You know what else is scary… earthquakes! On July 4^th, my wife and I were headed to the gym and were stopped at a stoplight when the first big earthquake hit. My truck started swaying and kept on swaying and it felt really weird. Some of the people at the stoplight rolled down their windows and started yelling to each other, “Hey, what is this, a 4^th of July earthquake?”

When the second earthquake hit, we were at home sitting on the couch together. The couch started moving so my wife and I immediately bolted outside to the beach. The reason we went that direction is because there is a huge 100’ cliff above coast highway on the other side of our house and it’s common for huge boulders to fall down onto the highway, even when there isn’t an earthquake.

After the shaking stopped, I walked to the front of our house to check out the cliff and see if any boulders had fallen. I couldn’t see any damage from where I stood, but it got me thinking about rocks falling and how we don’t have control over Mother Nature. Which reminded me that maybe we don’t have control over Mother Nature, but God certainly does. Which in turn got me thinking about that huge boulder that blocked the entrance to where Jesus was buried.

According to the book of Matthew, two women (both named Mary) went to the tomb of Jesus to prepare his body for burial. They didn’t know that there had been a huge boulder put in the way. But when they arrived, the boulder was moved aside, and an angel of the Lord greeted them, saying, “Come see inside, He has risen”.  I always thought that the angel moved the rock so Jesus could leave. But now I realize that Jesus was already gone. The reason the angel moved the boulder was so that the two women could see inside… and see that Jesus was gone. They must have been scared to go inside, scared by the huge boulder, and by the angel, and by the empty tomb. But they gathered enough strength to move forward. And when they did, they were amazed and overjoyed.

And all that got me thinking… Change is hard and change is scary, especially when a new door opens and we know we need to go through it. But I realize now that when I am scared to go through a new door, or too scared to think I can move a boulder out of my way, God can and will do it for me!

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, 

the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me. 

~ Anonymous

The Thoughtful Trifecta

We live on Beach Road where many of the homes are rented out on a weekly basis, especially during the summer months. That means we constantly have new neighbors. But I never know what kind of people will arrive next, where they came from, how long they will stay, or whether or not they will be nice or a nuisance. The only thing I do know, is what kind of person my wife is.

Let me just say that our weekly new neighbors certainly are lucky people. Sometimes it’s a huge pan of brownies, sometimes it’s a dozen cookies. Sometimes, if they are an elderly couple, it’s a complete meal. My wife doesn’t discriminate, she’s an equal opportunity cook and treats every new neighbor like a long lost relative. Besides being an excellent chef and a creative baker, she is thoughtful in her gift giving. She will often wait to see how many people there are, whether or not they have kids, and whether they are young or old before she goes into action. I remember one day coming home to find a huge bag full of beany babies in our family room because as it turns out, the new people that just arrived next door had seven children under the age of 12.

Being thoughtful and going out of her way for strangers is an awesome trait. But there is a second aspect to her “gift giving” that really blows me away. I remember reading in the Bible (in the first chapter of the New Testament) that we are supposed to be careful and quiet when we do good things. We are not supposed to put on a show so that everyone notices. We are supposed to be humble and realize that God will always know our good works… and that is all that really matters.

So guess who gets to deliver the brownies and cookies and gifts? That’s right, me! And it’s really fun! People are surprised and shocked to see me walk up with a plate full of goodies out of nowhere and I just love their reactions. I usually take a minute to find out where they’re from and make a little small talk, but I always leave feeling guilty because I wasn’t the thoughtful one and I didn’t do the work. I’m just the lucky guy who gets to have the fun of seeing all those happy faces. So I always make sure to mention right up front, the one who deserves the credit back home.

My wife has given hundreds of thoughtful gifts to many, many people. But the best gift is the one she has given me. It’s the gift of learning a powerful lesson of service, hospitality and humility. You might even call it the thoughtful trifecta!

Debby patrolling Beach Road for new neighbors to serve!

Your giving should be done in secret. Your Father can 

see what is done in secret, and he will reward you.

~ Matthew 6:4

Making a Difference

Let me ask you a question. When you first applied for your current sales position, you were probably asked, “Why do you want this job?”. Can you remember how you responded? You probably didn’t say something like, “Because I want to get rich and drive a nice car and buy a big house.” You may have thought it, but I doubt that was your answer.

Chances are, your answer had something to do with “great opportunity”, or “high potential.” But I also think you probably mentioned something about how you enjoy helping people and/or solving problems. Isn’t that the answer we are supposed to give, even if we don’t mean it?

So let me ask you another question. Why is it that during an interview, when we are trying to make our best impression, we think we need to mention the fact that we enjoy helping other people? Is it because we think it sounds good, or is it because deep down we truly know that helping other people is the highest calling of the sales profession?

Even though it’s easy to forget, we should always remember that making a difference is more important than making a dollar. Sure, a dollar puts food on the table and a roof over our head, but we know in our gut that more money isn’t going to matter in the end. What will matter are the people whose lives we have touched along the way. Money provides a certain amount of outward pleasure and that’s a fair reward for being good at what we do. But making a difference to others can fulfill a person in a way that money never will.

As a successful salesperson who has had to learn a lot of lessons the hard way, I know one thing for sure. When you believe that people are more important than profits, profits begin to climb. It’s pretty simple actually and fairly similar to the “Golden Rule”. People like doing business with someone who cares more about them than their bank account. So let me ask you one final question, “How many lives will you touch along the way? 

Making a difference is more important than making a dollar.

~ Joseph Thrailkill