Live Forever

I think I might be worrying too much. Actually, to be more accurate, I think I might be worrying too much about myself and not enough about others. Human beings are naturally self-centered anyway, but the good news is that I recognize it and want to change it by trying to pay more attention to the people around me. It isn’t easy, but it is important because you never know what positive impact you might have on a person and/or what impact they might have on you. Here is an example.

Part of my job as a business owner has always been sales. Every week I would go on the road to visit existing customers and meet new customers. I have always enjoyed that part of the job, but it can be very challenging at times. A few years ago I found out that a large apartment community in the Irvine Spectrum area hired a new Service Manager named David. I started calling on David right away, but he was always too busy in his new position to see me. One month went by, two months, three months turned into four, and over all that time I only got to speak to him once. Even worse, that site had stopped placing orders with us. I felt frustrated but I was determined to keep trying.

So, I came up with an idea to sponsor a lunch meeting with all of the Service Managers in the Irvine Spectrum area. It turned out to be a good idea because all of them showed up including David. I finally got some serious one on one time with him and it turned out that we had a lot in common. His Dad was in the Marine Corps and so was mine and we both traveled a lot as kids. We talked for a long time that day and I left with a really good feeling about David. It wasn’t so much the opportunity to do business as it was a feeling that I had made a new friend. And David was such a really nice, likeable guy that I knew this would become a long-term friendship.

The very next week I went back to that apartment complex and stopped in to see David. I was shocked when I heard there had been a tragic accident at the site and David had drowned! He was only 34 years old, leaving behind a wife and very young son. I was absolutely stunned by the news and unable to focus on work for the rest of that week.

And that got me thinking… Sometimes people come into our lives for just one brief moment. Maybe we take the time to get to know them, maybe we don’t. But everyone we meet is definitely part of God’s plan for our lives. Whether we recognize it or not, it is up to us to make the most of our time with them. What did David mean to my life? Despite only knowing him for a brief moment in time, he reminded me that persistence and patience can pay off, and even more important… he reminded me that life is a gift to be cherished as are most of the people we meet in our lives!

 To live in the hearts of those we leave behind, is to truly live forever.

~ Thomas Campbell

A Humble Man

Is there someone you truly respect and admire? Many people admire famous actors or superstar sports figures. Some people admire our President or rich people in positions of power. But for me, it’s a humble gardener named Roberto.   

Last year, my original gardener went on vacation and never came back. Since our home sits on an acre of land, I definitely needed help with the landscaping. So, I asked my neighbor the name of their gardener. When I met Gustavo, he was working at my neighbor’s house and seemed very nice and polite.  Plus, I noticed that he worked at a really fast pace. I walked Gustavo around my property and asked if he was interested in being hired. He shook his head and said, “Not possible, too busy. But you should ask my little brother, Roberto. He is the best. He is the one you want.”

The very next day, Roberto showed up early and introduced himself with a strong handshake. He walked the property and took everything in with great intensity. He asked a lot of questions, physically touched many of the plants, and when he was done, he smiled and said, “Thank you. I start now!” Roberto has shown up early every Saturday for the past six months. Even when it rains, there he is anyway, mowing, weeding, and trimming. He works extremely hard but is always smiling and looking like he is enjoying his job. I remember during the second week he said, “You will be happy with my work.” Roberto was right!

Last month I explained to Roberto that we were going to have a wedding at our home in two weeks and we needed the place to look better than ever. I told him there were four trees to replace, many flowers to be planted, and a lot of extra work. Roberto just smiled and said, “No problemo.” then I asked him what he wanted to be paid for the extra work and he said, “Pay me whatever you think is fair.” What a great answer, but not surprising from such a humble man. Although I had an amount in my head already, I instantly decided to double it! Since that time Roberto and I have become close friends and recently he even introduced me to his fiancé.

And that got me thinking... If you want to be respected and admired, find a job you enjoy, do it to the best of your ability and smile all the while. People will not only respect and admire you, they might just grow to become your close friend!

The highest reward for a man’s toil is not what 

he gets paid for it, but what be becomes by it.

~ John Ruskin

Here is an interesting sidebar to this week’s Monday Message –

In 2001 my father was extremely ill and dying from cancer. He only had a month or so to live, so my Mom brought him home to their house in Poway, California to care for him. My wife and I went to their home to live there temporarily and do our best to help them both.

My Dad only lasted three weeks but during that time I noticed that the gardener showed up every week and did a great job, so that was one less thing for me to worry about. My Dad had always paid the bills and dealt with the gardener, so I asked my Mom if she had paid the gardener lately. She said, “Well you know your father always took care of that and he has been so sick for so long, I don’t think the gardener has been paid for quite a while.”

So, I went outside the next time the gardener showed up and asked him to please send me the bill for the gardening so I could catch up on payment with him. I apologized that he hadn’t been paid and explained how sick my father had been. He said, “I know Allen has been sick, so it’s not a problem.” I expected to get a bill in the mail soon but didn’t see one.

My father passed away two weeks later, but I decided to stay with my Mom for a few more weeks to help her get situated. I went through all of my dad’s records, taught my Mom how to balance her check book, and got all the bills paid up. But then it dawned on me that I still hadn’t received a bill from the gardener. I felt bad about it and said, “You know I really need to pay the gardener. He’s been working for free for months, but I forget his name and was wondering if you knew his name and address?”

Mom answered, “I don’t know his address. I just know his name. It’s Roberto.”

Winter is Going

I love my wife and my wife loves roses, especially the really large and fragrant ones. So, for her birthday last September, I thought I would do something different. Instead of buying her clothes (that don’t fit) or giving her gift cards (to prove how lazy I am), I decided to upgrade the small planter area in front of our house and plant a dozen new rose bushes. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

The first thing I did was tear out all the old plants and till in new top soil, which took quite a bit of work. Then I went to a nursery and picked out the biggest and most colorful rose bushes I could find. They were tall, healthy looking plants with dark green stems and beautiful blossoms that you could smell a block away. It took me most of the weekend to create this stunning new planter but the smile on her face made it more than worthwhile. It also reminded me that the best gifts are the thoughtful ones that require a little work.

Unfortunately, those new rose bushes went into shock about two weeks later and dropped all their blossoms. That beautiful new planter I created now looked like death warmed over. It was disappointing to say the least and it made me feel like I wasted a bunch of effort for nothing. Every day as I got into my truck to leave the house, I couldn’t avoid seeing that graveyard of thorny bushes and being reminded of what a failure I am at times. But then God took mercy on me one early January morning, in the form of a neighbor. As I was watering my clumps of dead sticks, my neighbor walked by and mentioned, “Time to trim the roses, right?” My replay was something like, “Yeah with a shovel and a grave marker.” Fortunately, he took pity on my and stopped by the next day with written instructions on how to trim, fertilize and nurture a rose garden. Maybe with a little luck and some expert instruction, I could bring my garden back to life!

After trimming them, I spent months talking to, singing to, and caressing those stupid rose buses and yet they still looked like scary Whyte Walkers from Game of Thrones. That is until two weeks ago, when the winter rains stopped, and the spring sunshine started. The first thing I noticed was one small bud on one single plant, but let me tell you it felt like Christmas Day in April! With great excitement, I pointed out each new bud rose bud to my wife about every two minutes of every day until she got sick of hearing about it, but I couldn’t contain my excitement. Maybe I wasn’t such a failure after all!

This morning, as I write this Monday Message, I can smell the beautiful red, white, and pink roses that are sitting nearby in a clear crystal vase. They came from our garden yesterday, which is now overflowing with beautiful fragrant roses. Yes, it took six months, and yes it seemed like nothing good was ever going to happen, but I was wrong to think that and wrong to be so impatient. In fact, I think God was using Mother Nature to teach me a valuable lesson about patience and perseverance, while in turn, demonstrating His own patience and perseverance with me!

Adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

A Gift from God

If you’ve been reading my Monday Messages for a while, then you know that the worst day of my life happened six years ago.  It totally traumatized me, and yet it changed my life for the better…forever.

Her name was Pao Chi Chen and when I met her, she was different than anyone I had ever met. I discovered she was a scholar who speaks four languages and a brilliant artist who has exhibited her artwork in five different countries. She was born into poverty in a small province in China where many members of her family were attacked and killed by communists, but she escaped to France where she studied and learned to paint. She is a tiny woman, standing no more than 4’ tall, but she is very strong and loves to go for long walks every day around the lakes of Woodbridge in Irvine.

Six years ago, when I first met Pao Chi, she was 88 and hadn’t created a new painting in over 17 years. I was a novice writer who had started creating Monday Messages, but because I was “too busy” hadn’t written anything new in over a year. I am sure we looked very strange to people as we took long walks together around Woodbridge Lake, because there could not have been two people with less in common or more different backgrounds. But we did have one thing in common, we had both stopped doing something we loved. With encouragement from each other, Pao Chi started painting again and I started writing again. To date, Pao Chi has created over 50 new paintings, and I have written over 300 new Monday Messages.

I am not exactly sure why God brought us together, but I do know that it greatly renewed my faith in Him. I met Pao Chi on that fateful day six years ago when I accidentally ran her over with my truck and nearly killed her. She was hospitalized for months and nearly passed away, but through the grace of God, she survived, and we became best friends. She is 94 now and will turn 95 in June…maybe. I say maybe because last week she was diagnosed with cancer and is too old to be able to survive surgery. I visited her yesterday and despite being very sick and not being able to eat solid food for days, she greeted me with a huge smile and a warm hug. Plus, somehow, she even had a beautifully wrapped birthday present ready for me. My wish for Pao Chi is that I too will be able to present her with a gift on her birthday in June, for she truly has been a gift from God to me.

What Cancer Cannot Do…

It cannot cripple Love.

It cannot corrode Faith.

It cannot erase Memories.

It cannot silence Courage.

It cannot invade the Soul.

It cannot conquer the Spirit.

It cannot kill true Friendship.

And it cannot steal Eternal Life.

~ Anonymous