Bro Bonding

I haven’t touched a baseball since playing in the MSBL World Series Tournament last October… and I really miss it. So when I found out that some of my former teammates were having a baseball practice on Sunday in Mission Viejo, I decided I had to go.

When I say “I miss it” you probably think I mean playing baseball, and I do miss playing baseball. But what I really miss most is seeing my friends and hanging out with my buddies. For guys, baseball practices (and most sports for that matter) are typically a combination of bro hugs mixed with good natured ribbing. I know it might sound funny, but sports are a way for guys to compete against each other, yet still be rooting for each other at the same time. It’s like giving each other a hard time has become a major art form for most athletes and some of us are even better at trash talking than actually playing the sport!

All of us had such a great time on Sunday. But I have to say that the conditions weren’t so great. The fields were still super muddy from the rain, guys were slipping and falling all over the place, and throwing a wet baseball was a real adventure. But that just made it more fun because it gave us more reasons to give each other a hard time. One of the guys even messed up his knee and ended up having to go to see a doctor afterwards, but since it wasn’t a super serious injury, we still gave him a bunch of crap about being such a big baby! (Truth is he was really tough about it and wouldn’t leave the field to go see a doctor until practice was completely over.)

I don’t know if women bond the same way as men. Maybe they do, but for some reason I kind of doubt that women kick mud at each other on purpose like we men did on Sunday. Yeah, we kick mud on each other, and we laugh at each other a lot, but we would also go to war for one another. It’s our way of bonding and it creates friendships that last a lifetime.

Like I said, I don’t know if women bond the same way as men do. But what I do know is that when I told my wife I just had to go to baseball practice on Sunday, she said, “I thought you gave up baseball?” I answered her back immediately in my deepest, male, testosterone filled voice, “Yeah, but I ain’t never giving up on my bro’s!”

Only your real friends will tell you when you’re your face is dirty.

~ Sicilian Proverb 

Open It Up

Twelve years ago, I attempted to play guitar in a small rock and roll band that included two of my adult children and three of my friends.  Everyone in the band was gifted musically. For example, my oldest son is an accomplished drummer who won multiple percussion awards in High School and my oldest daughter performed and sang the lead in local theatre shows as well as at one-point auditioning for American Idol. Everyone was super gifted, everyone that is except for me. So, I practiced over and over to become better and even though the best I ever got was mediocre, I absolutely loved it. I still get goose bumps just thinking about how thrilling it was to perform in front of a crowd. But after playing together for 3 years, my daughter became pregnant with her third child, and the band stopped playing. I put my beautiful Taylor acoustic guitar in its case, closed the lid, and shoved it under my bed.

Fast forward nine years later... On this past Saturday I took my wife to the Monarch Beach Resort so that she and two of her friends could attend an art class. Besides having zero musical gifts, I also have zero artistic gifts, so while they painted a beautiful ocean scene, I went to the Gym to get in some exercise. I finished my work out before the painting class was over and wandered over to the lobby to hang out while I waited. The lobby of the Monarch Beach Resort is spectacular with a long bar at one end and huge floor to ceiling glass windows showcasing a beautiful sunset view at the other end.

Since it was a Saturday evening, the bar was packed, and people were enjoying live entertainment provided by a professional violin player. This obviously gifted musician wasn’t playing classical music, he was playing beautiful modern songs by artists like Ed Sheeran and Marron 5… and he was playing them with an extreme passion! I was absolutely captivated by his music and could have listened all night long. I even took a video of his performance so that I could show it to my 12-year-old grandson who is taking viola lessons. I’m pretty sure watching a professional perform live with such passion would be tremendously inspiring to a youngster who has already shown that he too has musical gifts.

And that got me thinking… One of the main reasons I write Monday Messages is to inspire people to remember the important things in life. Things like hope and faith, family and friends, and all of God’s gifts and blessings. Well, it dawned on me yesterday that inspiration comes in many forms and so do God’s gifts. In fact, yesterday I got down on my knees, reached under my bed, and pulled out an old, dusty guitar case. Who knows, I might even open it up!

God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.

~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Searching for Happiness

Sometimes I wonder if I am so busy searching for happiness that I forget that most of the time it’s right there in front of me. Especially since I have so many wonderful friends!

On Saturday night, my wife and I went to dinner at a friend’s house in Laguna Niguel. We had never been to their house before, so it was nice to finally visit their home. Despite both of them having extremely busy careers in the medical profession, (he is a doctor and she is a nurse) they found time to remodel their home themselves and did a wonderful job. It is beautifully decorated, with a gorgeous Grand Piano in the living room and a huge wraparound patio outside with a stunning view of the ocean. Since it was our first visit, they gave us a tour and I noticed they had the same pillow in their guest bedroom that we have in our guest bedroom. It’s a long decorative pillow with the definition of “Happiness” written on it. It reminded me that I was happy to have these people as friends!

I like this couple a lot because they are really fun, funny, interesting, and adventurous. Recently the husband signed up for a trip to explore Antarctica and after dinner he showed us an amazing video. Antarctica is one of the last places on earth that hasn’t been spoiled by the human race and its beauty is singularly unique. Apparently just getting to Antarctica was an adventure in itself, but once he arrived, it turned out to be one of those bucket list things that we all should try to do at least once before we die.

Speaking of “Bucket List” I saw that movie recently for the second time.  It’s about two terminally ill men who escape from a cancer ward to begin a trip around the world with a bucket list of to-dos before they die. Edward (Jack Nicholson) just wants to have fun no matter what it costs, while Carter (Morgan Freeman) is a lot more thoughtful. Near the end of the movie, Edward is acting like a jerk, once again, because all he cares about is his own happiness. So Carter stops him for a moment and quietly tells him something extremely insightful. He explains to Edward that the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance to heaven, the guards asked two questions.  The first question was, “Have you found joy in your life?” The second question was, “Has your life brought joy to others?”

Maybe that pillow with the definition of happiness on it isn’t entirely complete. Maybe it should include… bringing joy to someone else’s life!

Happiness held is the seed; happiness shared is the flower.

~ Anonymous

Listening

My wife often tells me that I’m not listening, and we often tell our 3yr old son to “use his listening ears”.  So maybe I’m forgetting an important life lesson I learned years ago but seemed to have forgotten with daily life happening so quickly these days.

Has it ever happened where you heard a voice, or had a strong feeling about something you were going to do? Maybe it was telling you to do something, or maybe it was telling you NOT to do something. By it, I’m referring to the Holy Spirit. God telling us something directly, as clearly as he can make it. For me, three very specific times come to mind. 

·     The first was at 11yrs old riding my motorcycle. God told me to go home at dinner time, but I decided to turn around and keep riding. One minute later I had a broken leg. I should have listened, God was trying to save me from that pain.

·         The second time was when I was 27, same thing with a motorcycle. This time I had two broken legs and a fractured hip... you’d think I would have remembered the first time, but I’m a sinner who doesn’t always listen. More pain.

·     The third time, no motorcycle, but the bad thing (for me) involved my girlfriend. I kept hearing the voice for months telling me she wasn’t right, until finally I couldn’t ignore the voice any longer and we broke up. I felt bad she was heartbroken, but it was the right thing for me to do.  I listened!

About a month after we split up, my friends invited me to their wedding at the last minute. When I checked in to the hotel, I had an instant connection with the woman behind the counter. I told her how I liked her “high waisted skirt”. She awkwardly laughed but smiled. Evidently, it’s called a pencil skirt. We kept finding each other’s eyes throughout the night and finally talked after she got off work. It seemed like minutes, but it was actually hours. We had an instant connection, love at first sight.

We married a year later, six years now, and two beautiful kids.  She’s my best friend and a terrific mom. She helps in our business, is the life of the party for everybody who meets her, the love of my life, and truly a blessing from God. That’s what happens when you listen to God, he blesses you. When you don’t, he allows Satan to affect you - reminding you to listen. He wants to talk to us, but it’s up to us to listen.

Joe emailed me several weeks ago asking if I wanted to write a message sometime. I was honored and something told me to help. I listened! That said, I’m going to try and slow down daily and remember to listen more.  Give it a try and see what blessings find you this week!

The most important thing with listening… is to hear what isn’t being said.

~ Peter F. Drucker