Kneeling & Healing

My wife accidentally dislocated her right knee cap last week. She was in such tremendous pain, she started sweating profusely and became acutely nauseous, but fortunately, she was able to pop it back in place. I have never personally dislocated a knee cap but I have dislocated my shoulder and I’m pretty sure that any time you dislocate a joint it’s going to be extremely painful and impossible to ignore. Or is it?

She went to the doctor and is doing better but her knee is still sore and she’s really worried about dislocating it again. So I got some advice from several friends who are athletes and then went on line to do some research where I came across a story that was hard to believe, but true. A group of Finnish Doctors did a controlled study on the power of “fake” surgery. They solicited a group of 146 volunteer patients who had knee injuries such as a torn meniscus and enrolled them in a trial study. Half of the patients had real surgery, while the other half received only minor incisions on their knee to make it look like they had surgery. The amazing results were that in terms of healing, there was no significant difference between the two groups. Does that prove that surgery is a waste of time? Absolutely not. But it does prove that the human mind has tremendous power and if we can learn how to tap into it better, we just might end up in a lot less pain.

So how do we tap into the power of our minds? I keep hearing the term “mindfulness” a lot these days and I think I am beginning to understand the concept. “Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.” So how does mindfulness relate to the results of the clinical trials performed by the Finnish Doctors? Perhaps practicing “mindfulness” is the first step towards being truly able to tap into the immense power locked under our lids. You can call it the ability to focus, or you can call it extreme concentration, but the bottom line is having the ability to be fully focused and not bothered by people or events around you.

So where can we find a good example of someone using the power of their mind to be fully focused? Look no further than the Bible. Jesus was the most focused person to ever walk the earth. Once He began his journey, He never wavered, never sinned, never got distracted, never veered to the left or to the right, never once. He simply stayed on course until his goal was accomplished. Furthermore, like the Finnish Doctors recently discovered, He had the ability to heal hundreds of people without the aid of a single scalpel. I can find a lot of interesting stories and ideas on the internet, but I’m starting to think that I can learn a lot more by surfing the New Testament than I can by paddling across the internet… and it’s absolutely painless!

Some minds seem to create themselves, springing up 

under every disadvantage and working their solitary but 

irresistible way through a thousand obstacles.

~ Washington Irving 

Window to the World

I’ve been writing Monday Messages for over 10 years now and I always try to relate them to current events. So when Father’s Day rolls around, it’s been my habit to try to write something related to my Dad. It’s been easy so far to come up with stories because my Dad was such a huge part of my life. He was always teaching me and inspiring me to be and to do my best. But after 10 years and of stories, I struggled to think of something new this year that I haven’t written about before. And then it hit me… right between the eyes!

It has been said that our eyes are the window to our soul. But my Dad also taught me that, “Looking out, your eyes are your window to the world.” The way we see the world has a tremendous effect on how we feel, think and act. If we see the world and the people in it as harsh and cruel, it’s easy to become bitter and discouraged. But if we look with our eyes and see the beauty and compassion that constantly surrounds us, we can instantly feel happy and encouraged.

Here’s an example. Yesterday (for Father’s Day) a friend of mine took his wife and three young boys to Angel Stadium to catch a baseball game together. Halfway through the game his wife went for pizza and on the way back she tripped and fell down the steep concrete steps. She tore up her shins and scraped her knees and sent the pizza flying. She was bleeding and needed first aid, so immediately several people jumped up to help her. One person even went to the food court and brought her and her family back a replacement pizza. It would be easy to look at the crowd in the baseball stadium and see a loud, obnoxious, beer drinking, bunch of hooligans. But if we were to really look close, through our “window to the world”, we would see compassionate, caring souls who are quick to offer help and generous beyond measure.

I know the world is filled with problems and that there are plenty of bad people out there. But thanks to my Dad and his awesome advice, I choose to use my eyes to focus on the good that I can see. And although I have to break out the Windex and clean my “window” once in a while, I can always find something good to focus on. Thanks Dad, for teaching me to use my senses… to make some sense out of this world!

Father's Day crowd at Angel Stadium

See everything, overlook a great deal.

~ Pope John XXIII 

Chain Reaction

In the mid 80’s my life was a huge mess, but fortunately I was able to turn things around. I realized what I was doing wrong and that I didn’t have my priorities straight. My priorities needed to be faith, family and friends being first. So I made the necessary changes and by early 1989 my life was going really well. I was operating a successful new business in Orange County, had a new place to live, and lots of new friends. I remember waking up one day and saying to myself, “I need to thank God for all the blessings He has given me.” But thanking Him just didn’t seem like enough, so I decided to show my gratitude by giving back.

When I got to work that morning, I grabbed the yellow pages (remember those days) and started looking for charities located near my office. As I ran my finger down the page, I came across the “Saddleback Community Outreach”. Since I had this beautiful view of Saddleback Mountain right outside my office window, it inspired me to pick that charity, which I visited that very same day. I discovered it was a brand new organization started by a man in his 70’s who had recently sold his insurance business so that he could spend all of his time helping others. Talk about having your priorities straight!

I started volunteering a few hours every Wednesday afternoon and found it to be both fun and satisfying. I continued working every week for several years and then I received an unusual “reward” for my efforts in 1991… my future wife came into my life! After Debby and I got married, she decided to get involved with the Outreach as well, except in a much larger way. By 2006 it had become one of the largest charities in South Orange County and Debby was elected President of the Board of Directors. I can’t even begin to add up the hours Debby has put in working for free at SCO (which is now called South County Outreach), or the sleepless nights she has spent worrying about coming up with enough money and donations to buy food each month. Her dedication to the organization has been incredible and it has also been extremely inspiring to me, as well as to many others.

Looking back at my life, I can see that the decision I made to “give back” started a chain reaction. I was simply trying to give back in some small way, but somehow it led to meeting my wife, which led to her being inspired to do charity work as well, which has led to her inspiring many, many others to join her at the Outreach, which is an organization that now hands out over 2 tons of food a day to needy people. We never know when some small act of faith, or some small gesture of gratitude may spawn a huge result. But we do know that somebody has to start the chain. Why not let it be you!

Debby, 4th from the left, hiding in the background

All men should strive to learn before they die, 

what they are running from, and to, and why.

~ James Thurber 

Straight Priorities

In the mid 80’s my life was a huge mess, but fortunately I was able to turn things around. I realized what I was doing wrong and where my priorities needed to be… faith, family and friends come first, and made the necessary changes. By early 1989 my life was going really well. I was operating a successful business in Orange County, had a new place to live, and lots of new friends. I remember waking up one day and saying to myself, “I need to thank God for all the blessings He has given me.” But thanking Him just didn’t seem like enough, so I decided to show my gratitude by “giving back”.

When I got to work that morning, I grabbed the yellow pages (remember those days) and started looking for charities located near my office. As I ran my finger down the page, I came across the “Saddleback Community Outreach”. Since I had this beautiful view of Saddleback Mountain right outside my window, it inspired me to pick that charity. I went down to their office that same day and discovered it was a brand new charity just starting up. The owner was 70 years old and had recently sold his insurance business so that he could spend all of his time helping others. Talk about having your priorities straight!

I started volunteering every Wednesday afternoon and found it to be both fun and satisfying. I was shocked at how many homeless and hungry people there were in such an affluent area, and the ones that really touched my heart were the single Moms who didn’t have enough food for their children. I continued working every Wednesday for several years and then I received an unusual “reward” for my efforts in 1991… when I met my future wife!

After Debby and I were married in 1995, she decided to get involved with the Outreach as well, except in a much larger way. By 2006 it had become one of the largest charities in South Orange County and at that time they decided to elect Debby as President of the Board of Directors. I can’t even begin to add up the number of hours Debby has put in working for free for SCO (which is now called South County Outreach), or the sleepless nights she has spent worrying about coming up with enough money and donations to buy food each month. Her dedication to the organization has been incredible and it has also been extremely inspiring to me, as well as to many others. I only spent a few hours a week for two years doing charity work, while Debby has spent over 11 years doing all she could to make it super successful. She obviously also has her priorities straight, which reminds me and inspires me… to keep my priorities straight as well.

Today, Monday June 12^th, 2017, Debby sent a letter to the Board of Directors of the South County Outreach announcing her retirement. When she copied me on the letter, I felt a flood of emotions. I was surprised by her letter, but I was also happy for her because the stress related to her position at SCO was really overwhelming at times. For a businessman like me to carry the stress of running an organization is not so unusual because I am paid extremely well for my efforts. But for a volunteer to run an organization the size of SCO, and to do it for free for 11 years, is extraordinary. Debby, thank you for all you have done to help so many needy people and thank you for showing all of us how important it is to keep our priorities straight. I realize now that the real reward I received when I met and fell in love with you… was the inspiration you have given me to become the best man I can possibly be.

Debby, 4th from the left, hiding in the background

All men should strive to learn before they die, 

what they are running from, and to, and why.

~ James Thurber

Purpose in the Pain

My oldest grandson is home from college for the summer and needs to earn some money. He applied at several local restaurants for summer work but before he takes one of those jobs, I asked him to work for me for a week.

The job I gave him to do was to install over 400 exit signs at an apartment complex in San Diego. That’s a lot of exit signs and a lot of work. It’s not a complicated job but the hard part is that each sign is located at the base of a fire door, so you have to get down on your knees on the concrete floor to install each one. I worked with him the first morning and together we installed 20 signs. I told him I would pay him by the hour, but that I would also consider paying him “per sign” to give him a chance to make more money. Before I left I mentioned that installing 100 signs in one day would be a good goal. I knew it would be tough to get that many done, but I also wanted to test him and see if he had good character and a strong work ethic.

He called me around 5:30 that first evening to tell me he had just finished his 100^th exit sign and was heading home. I was really pleased and really proud of him for getting so much work done completely on his own. I asked him how it went and he said, “Good, but I am really sore, especially my knees.” I laughed and told him, “That’s why I hired you to do it instead of doing it myself!” I also told him I was very proud of him and that I would pay him “per sign” for the whole project, which will definitely enable him to make twice as much money. What I didn’t tell him ahead of time, and maybe what I was trying to teach him, is that nothing good comes easy in life. They call it hard work for a reason, but the good news is that there is always “purpose in the pain”.

This morning, as I sat down to write this story, something occurred to me. We were given the ultimate example of “purpose in the pain” about 2000 years ago when Jesus attempted to reach his goal. He demonstrated extraordinary work ethic and suffered an enormous amount of pain, yet never lost sight of His purpose. The next time I get down on my knees to install a sign, or for any reason, I’m going to remember that I have more than one reason to be on my knees.

My Grandson, Jared, all grown up!

Whatever you do in life, echoes in eternity.
~ Anonymous