A Cool New Tool

When I do my job inspecting light poles with my ultrasonic equipment, sometimes the poles are buried in thick hedges or behind bushes. It can be a real nightmare. So I thought about it and decided to buy myself a really cool battery operated hedge trimmer… and it totally solved the problem! Which reminds me of what my Dad used to tell me, the right tool makes all the difference.

When I told my wife about my cool new tool, she kind of laughed and said, “You’ve always had a problem with bushes.” I wasn’t sure what she meant, so she explained that I often “beat around the bush” when I talk to people. You know what…she is right! However, I don’t think my cool new tool will help me with that problem.

My mistake is that I need to stop worrying so much about what people think and be more direct. My wife is a good example for me to follow because she is very straight forward and upfront with people. And I think people appreciate that because she is considerate, but also true to herself and very consistent.

So one of my New Year’s resolutions is to try to be more assertive and direct with people. And by that I mean communicating openly and honestly, expressing my thoughts and feelings clearly without beating around the bush, essentially saying exactly what I mean without trying to sugarcoat it or avoid sensitive topics. I already know it won’t be easy for me, because I was born “a salesman”. But as I mentioned in my last Monday Message, I value my relationships with people a lot, so anything I can do to improve in that area will be worth it. And to help me achieve that goal, I placed a small sticker on the back of my phone that simply says “BMD”(be more direct) as a reminder. I consider it to be the right tool and a cool new tool as well!

I think naturally, if you’re an actor, there’s a high level of assertiveness

 that you need to have to survive in this business. 

There’s boldness in being assertive, and there’s strength and confidence. 

~ Bryan Cranston                                                            

Today I Had A Thought

It’s the end of the year and a good time to do some reflecting. So I did that last night, thinking about all the things that happened this past year. More importantly, I thought about  all the really great people I know and how truly blessed I am to have them in my life.

And then today I had a thought… what if I had never met you? As I ask that question, I am picturing each person in my life, one at a time, and what they mean to me. I started with my family, my children, and of course my wife, who I have loved deeply for over 30 years and couldn’t live without. She changed my life for the better in so many ways. But what if I had never met her?

Then I thought about my friends. One by one I pictured them in my head, quietly thanking God for allowing me the privilege of meeting them, getting to know them, and spending time with them.

Then I thought about how precious my friends are to me. There is Chris J, who I’ve known for over 40 years, always loyal, always in touch, always offering to help me when I need it. Everyone should be so lucky as to have a friend like Chris. There is Bill T, who I met 20 years ago when we first started playing Halo Baseball together. My wife and I had lunch with him yesterday and as a business owner and CPA, he was able to give my wife great advice regarding her philanthropic efforts. Then there is Dave C, my good friend and golf buddy, who keeps donating to my wife’s charity and literally gave me the shirt off his back one day at the golf course. (Okay, it was cold, and it was a really nice golf sweater, but I love it and wear it all the time.) There is Bob H. who is 75 now and has moved to Idaho, but Bob makes it a point to stay in touch with me on a regular basis. And there are couples that my wife and I see regularly like Danny and Asun, Scott and Rhonda, and Steve and Ceci who are so much fun to be around and would always be there for us if we need them. As I said, friends are precious.

I could go on and on with my list of friends and what they mean to me. Chances are if you are receiving my Monday Messages, it is because I consider you a friend as well. But as I pictured each person in my head, I thought about that same question. What if I had never met you? So maybe that’s a good New Year’s resolution. Resolve to reflect, and think about your friends and ask yourself, “What if I never met you? Or maybe even ask them and let them know how good you feel about them. Just a thought!

True friends are never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart.

                                                                 ~ Helen Keller                                                            

What The World Needs Now

The Christmas Season is all about giving. But for me, it’s a struggle. I’m just not good at picking out gifts. It’s not like I don’t try, I just have a hard time figuring out the right gift. My wife is great at it though, and she always gets people the perfect gift.

Which got me thinking… Have you seen that Amazon commercial on TV with the janitor? It’s the sweet story of a janitor at a theatre who is  sweeping and cleaning up but singing at the same time. The song he is singing, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love.” Suddenly, thanks to a surprise gift from his fellow employees, he becomes the main attraction. The gift is a suit and a microphone so that he can bring his “God given gift of a beautiful singing voice” to light on stage.

That commercial touched me because it reminded me that all of us have God given gifts that make us special. Maybe you know what your gift is, or maybe you haven’t discovered it yet, but it’s there… and it’s special… and so are you. And if you are strong enough, and brave enough, to share your gift with others, then maybe, just maybe, that’s the real meaning of Christmas!

"And there were shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flocks by night, and lo the angel of the lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid, and the angel said unto them, fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a savior who is Christ the Lord. And suddenly there was with the angels a multitude of the heavenly hosts, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth - peace, good will toward men."

“And that’s the real meaning of Christmas – Charlie Brown!”

Poached Eggs and Chocolate, Why Not! (by Debby Thrailkill)

Tis the season to enjoy, whatever that means to you. For me, I hope to slow my roll, and have time to spend with my family and friends.

In our family we have traditions that make Christmas time a true delight. We trudge through Christmas tree lots together in search of the perfect tree, or the Charlie Brown version. We caravan through neighborhoods and take in the Christmas light displays, so fun and festive. We bake holiday cookies together and make small packages to give as gifts to friends and coworkers. We always have a craft day, and this year we made Christmas trees from yarn and wood.

There is beauty delighting in the time spent with multi generations, finding the spirit of the season together. Whether with friends or family, do what brings you joy and gives you peace as the year winds to a close. This is the time of year where you should be doing something special that fills you with joy.

Gift giving is obviously on our minds as we prepare for holidays. Sometimes I’ll send gifts ahead, to be enjoyed during the season. I sent my Aunt Judy and Uncle Paul an oval See’s Candy Gift Box with their favorite chocolates. They were pleased to have the candy to savor and sent the picture and commented back , Poached Eggs and Chocolates, Why Not!

May I suggest… Turn down the media. Turn loose the fast pace. Turn up at parties and meals when your presence is requested. Turn inward to the Lord in gratitude for your blessed life. Turn out and take in the season with others. Why not have poached eggs and chocolate and enjoy your season in its fullest.

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree – 

The presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.

~ Burton Hills

Breath of Life

Last week we had one of our younger grandchildren staying over. Andie is only 5 but she enjoys watching me work out and likes to be my “assistant”. She changes the weight slots on my gym machine for me and writes it down in my log. At one point she said, “Hey Grandpa, you forgot to breathe.” She’s heard me talk about how important proper breathing is and how you need to breathe out when you exert, and she noticed I wasn’t doing it right. Apparently she takes her “assistant” job very seriously!

The reason Andie Rose is a good workout assistant is because she is the type of person who truly cares about others. Which reminds me of someone else who might well be the most caring and considerate person I have ever met.

His name is Antony, and he runs a business called “Peak Personal Training”. His business is a combination of physical fitness and physical therapy. You might even say it is partly a counseling business because you can’t go in there and not come out feeling better both physically and mentally. Antony’s approach is unique because of his total commitment and concern for his clientele. He greets every woman with a kiss and every man with a hug and means it. He will look you right in the eye, ask you how you are doing, and then actually listen and care about what you say. He will call you to make sure you are coming in and then call you after your visit to see how you are feeling. I have never met anyone so committed to helping others. Antony has a great time at his job; however he will push you during training sessions. I remember him getting on me for not breathing properly and making me do extra lifts until I got them right. So I guess you could say he takes his “assistant job” just as seriously as Andie Rose does.

Having people like Andie and Antony in my life is a real blessing. They are not only reminding me to breathe properly during a tough workout session, they are also reminding me how important it is to step back and take a breath during the tough times of life as well. Let’s face it we all go through tough times, especially during the hectic holiday season. So if at times your life feels really crazy and difficult, just remember what Andie and Antony are trying to teach us…slow down and take time to breathe. And if you really want to enjoy life more, help someone else learn how to slow down and breathe!

Breath in the breath of life all the way down to the bottom of your stomach.

Inhale peace and exhale chaos.

~ Tara Sutphen                                                            

I Believe in Miracles

Thanksgiving is fast approaching. So I would like to tell you about a miracle that happened more than 30 years ago that I am still super thankful for today. But first let me set the scene.

It’s 1990 and I’m still a young man of 35, but I’ve certainly had my shares of ups and downs. I found myself lonely and hungry too many times and at one point I lived in a plywood shack for a year. But I also started having success with my career and more importantly connecting with God and asking for His help to find the right path. I prayed for wisdom and came up an idea. I decided to close down my company that I had started in San Diego in 1980 and move to Orange County for a fresh start. I re-opened my same business (with a few new ideas) at an office park off of Cabot Road in Laguna Hills. Money was tight, but I didn’t consider failure an option.

But I didn’t just focus on work, I knew it was more important to focus on how I could best serve others. I made the tag line for my business, “Honesty, Integrity, Respect”, and made sure I treated my employees, customers, and vendors with respect at all times. I was certain my faith would help me overcome obstacles, but you know what they say, “You have to put feet to your faith”. So I opened the yellow pages one day and found an outreach program not far from my office and decided to volunteer there once a week. It was an eye-opening experience to help out people who were truly hungry and suffering, and the crazy thing was that doing something good for others gave me strength, patience, and a new-found sense of confidence that I was sorely lacking.

One year later, I could see my business was really starting to take off. So I placed an ad in the local newspaper for an office manager. The young woman who applied was charming and full of personality, but more importantly she embraced the idea of serving others with a personal passion that I had never seen before. I hired her the next day. Three years later I started dating her, and two years after that I married her. We have been married now for almost 30 years and she is still putting up with me despite my many flaws and defects, and yet still as crazy about me as I am about her. Now if that isn’t a miracle - then I don’t know what is!

Debby and Joe circa 1996

I believe in love. I believe laughing is the best calorie burner. 

I  believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything is going wrong. 

I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles.

~ Audrey Hepburn

Extra Extraordinary

My wife and I were on vacation recently in Kauai and the weather, the sunshine, the ocean, and the rainbows were the best we have ever experienced. For a lot of reasons, our vacation was extra extraordinary! 

Unfortunately, my wife has been having a health issue for the last 6 weeks and it didn’t go away during the time we were on vacation. I felt so bad for her because she really needed a relaxing vacation after all the hard work she has done for her charity this year. I also felt lost and worthless because there was nothing I could do to help her. Let’s face it, if you are a loving partner, the worst thing in the world is to have to stand by and watch your spouse (or children) suffer.

That’s the thing about being a spouse or a parent. Your focus is on your loved ones, and it can be really difficult when things are not going well, especially when there’s nothing you can do about it. Or is there?

Last night, after cleaning up the garage and taking a shower, I thought about my wife and my family and how much they mean to me. But I’m just your average Joe, and I can’t fix everything that is wrong. And it’s so damn frustrating! But as I was thinking about my limitations, I also thought about a minor health issue going on with me that is freaking me out, on top of my worries about my wife. It was at that moment that a thought popped into my head. I don’t know where it came from, but it gave me goose bumps and made me feel a whole lot better. That simple thought was… “Don’t worry, God is with you”. I know that sounds overly simple, but I think that’s what I like about it. When you break it all down, there’s nothing to worry about if you have faith in an extra extraordinary God!

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7