Things Are Looking Up

Twice a week I help my wife with babysitting our 2-year-old granddaughter. This past week I took her to a park area with a playground a couple of times and it was really fun for her…and surprisingly fun for me too. Seeing her eyes light up when she spots things she hasn’t seen before or hearing her laugh when she watches a little lizard run by, makes me laugh too.

However, I noticed something when she dropped her Mickey Mouse Doll and couldn’t find it. I didn’t know where it went, but she pointed it out to me underneath the slide because her viewpoint is so much closer to the ground than mine. So I looked where her finger was pointing, and then had to crawl on my stomach to reach the toy. While I’m down there, I realize that this is basically her current view of the world. I mean, when you’re only 28” tall, everything you see is mostly at ground level. That’s probably why we spent a lot of time looking at plants and flowers, picking up sticks, using the sticks to draw in the dirt, checking out the rocks, and laughing at the bugs and butterflies.

And that got me thinking… When we are young, we tend to focus on things down low and get excited by Mother Nature, and that’s a very a cool introduction to the world. But when we get older and have to face the all the difficult issues that come with adult life, we need to start looking up and get excited about Father God!

I thank God for this most amazing day, 

for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a true-blue dream of sky. 

And for everything which is natural… which is infinite… which is He.

~ E. E. Cummings

It's Who You Know

I’ve been on vacation in Kauai for a couple of weeks, so I haven’t put out a Monday Message lately. But actually, being on vacation in such a uniquely beautiful place has given me a lot of ideas for future Monday Messages. 

For example… I love to golf at the Makai Course in Princeville, Kauai. It’s probably one of the top 10 most beautiful golf courses on earth. So I’ve played quite a few rounds while also getting to know a lot of the people that work there. Yesterday, I was paired up with a young couple that had never been to the Makai Course before. As we waited around for the starter to send us off, three different Makai employees walked by us and everyone of them said, “Aloha, Joe, how you doing?” And when the starter, Hideki, said we were good to go, he said, “Joe, will you please lead this young couple out to the 10^th tee box for me?” (The front nine was closed for construction).

On the way to the 10^th Tee box, an employee in a golf cart stopped and offered us some fresh pineapple. I took a few minutes to talk to her and thank her for the good treats. When we finally got to the 10^th tee and got ready to play, a maintenance worker also drove by us and said “Hi Joe” to me. I guess all that friendliness made an impression on the young couple I was with, because the young man said, “Wow! Does every person on this island know you?”

My response was - Well, the thing is, this is their home, this is where they live, work, and play. I’m just a visitor here. So I feel like it’s not important that they get to know me. What is important… is that I take the time to get to know them. Which is what I try to do.

And that got me thinking… You can expend a lot of energy trying to get noticed, or you can simply smile and be nice to people and their energy will often come right back to you!

Makai Golf Course, Princeville, Kauai

What can one person do? One person can prove false the notion that nobody cares.

 ~ Robert Brault

The Heat Is On

This has been the hottest summer I can ever remember. Problem is, my wife and I are both super busy and we can’t really avoid the heat. I have a parking lot light pole inspection business which includes pushing a heavy tool cart 10,000 steps a day on hot asphalt. And my wife has a charity which involves filling at least 100 suitcases each month with clothing and essentials for foster children, which she does in our hot garage.

Okay, I’m basically a guy’s guy, so I’m not about to complain about a little bit of heat. Although the other day it was 110 degrees at Westlake Village Plaza and the sole on my right shoe basically melted and separated, which then made flapping noises as I walked. I looked and sounded stupid for quite a while but then hey… there’s nothing a little duct tape can’t fix!

Anyway, that’s not the problem. The problem is that I worry about my wife overheating while lifting heavy suitcases in our garage. So I decided that I would write her a love poem on my way home and my plan was to get her an ice-cold glass of tea and then recite the poem to her as soon as she came in from the garage to cheer her up. I must say the idea had merit, but unfortunately the execution was lacking … mainly because the poem sucked! But you know what… the heat was on then, and the heat is on now!

 

When we first met it’s like you were the universe
and I was merely some dust

who got to experience your beauty,
once I shook off the rust.

 

So I extended my hand to this angel from heaven

and was very surprised to find,

that it was instantly met by another 

so soft, warm, and kind.

Make Your Bed

I love my wife because she’s beautiful inside and out and makes me happy in so many ways. But one thing I’ve noticed over the years is that although we are alike in some ways, we are very different in others.

For example, she likes to do laundry every single day. If it were up to me it would probably be once a month. Sometimes I can’t even get both legs out of my pants before she is trying to throw them in the washing machine. And when it comes to the sheets on our bed, she washes them at least every other day, which seems to me like a lot of work…but I don’t argue I just follow directions. Besides, it makes her happy and that’s a big part of my job as her husband!

So she washes the sheets, and I help her by making the bed. And when I do I make it right and pull it tight. I’m guess I’m kind of a perfectionist that way. But it’s also because my Dad was a Captain in the Marine Corps and that’s the way he taught me to do it. But then last week, I read something written by a Navy Seal and it finally explains why making your bed is so important. Who knew?

“Every morning in basic SEAL training, my instructors, who at the time were all Viet Nam veterans, would show up in my barracks room and the first thing they would do was inspect our beds. If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the rack—rack—that’s Navy talk for bed.

It was a simple task - mundane at best. But every morning we were required to make our bed to perfection. It seemed a little ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that were aspiring to be real warriors, tough battle-hardened SEALs - but the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over.

If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another.

By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. Let’s face it - If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.

And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made—that you made—and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better. If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed!”

So this morning I made the bed, and my wife did the laundry, and I thought…If you truly find the right person to share your life and labor with… you’ve got a much better chance of changing the world!

Without labor, nothing prospers. 

~ Sophocles

Perfect Timing

Have you ever heard the saying, “Timing is everything”? I have, and I believe it applies to a lot of things in life, both good and bad.

Just over four years ago, Covid slammed headfirst into us and put a halt to just about everything that was formally part of our normal lives. The work stoppage happened immediately, confounding my efforts to get a new business off the ground. I couldn’t visit clients for fear of contracting (or spreading) the virus, so I found myself floundering and frustrated. That’s when my golf journey truly started.

I couldn’t work, but I could go to the golf course and work out my frustrations on a little white ball. I had played golf on and off for years, and really liked it. So I was glad to have it as a fun option. Problem was finding someone to golf with. That’s where the timing thing comes in.

I showed up extremely early one morning knowing I would get paired up with strangers. Strangers who may or may not want me joining their group. In fact, the previous week I got paired up with a father and son. But the father asked me not to play so he could spend quality time with his son. I understood, but I also has to stand there for over an hour before finally getting paired up with a three-some that didn’t speak English. Not a lot of fun. But this time, instead of strangers, one of my best friends from my Halo Baseball Club days was standing on the first tee with his wife and another buddy. They needed a fourth and as luck (and timing) would have it, I was at the right place at the right time.

Our foursome has now played golf together almost every single Wednesday since that fateful day we “accidentally” got paired up. And every time we play a round of golf, I love it more and more. Our friendships have grown, my golf game has improved, and my outlook on life is more positive for several reasons, not the least of which is I get to play a game outdoors, in a beautiful environment, with people I really enjoy. I look forward to it every week. But was it “divine timing”, or was it an accident?

Hard to say for sure, but I remember another saying that’s popular. “When one door closes, another one opens.” Covid may have shut the door on a lot of our normal social activities, and it may have temporarily closed the door on my business at the worst possible time. But it was no accident that I got paired up with the perfect people because I’m pretty sure God is a scratch golfer whose His timing is always perfect!   

“Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, 

but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club.”

~ Henry Beard

The Future Looks Bright

Not long ago I sat at my desk for a very long time and wrote a compelling Monday Message about the Millennial Generation. I wrote it because I wanted to make a point about work ethic and how important it is for the future of our society. Unfortunately, Millennials have been characterized as being entitled and wanting all the benefits without having to work hard. I don’t believe that’s necessarily a fair characterization because as the father of four Millennial children, all four have made their way in this world, faced a ton of trials, and ended up as extremely productive citizens that I am very proud of. 

Okay, so maybe some Millennials are hard workers, and some not so much. But I’ve also noticed some are very smart. In fact, if you look up the definition of Millennials you will find they are often characterized as being progressive, tech-savvy, and the most socially connected generation of all time. I think only time will tell if they are able to use their technology and social media connections to truly better the world. I, for one, am rooting for them.

But just in case they don’t, there is another generation, Gen Z, following close behind them that is already showing tremendous potential. How do I know that? Because I have several grandchildren that age who are kind and considerate. Okay, so you think I’m prejudiced, and maybe I am just a little. But yesterday there were two young Gen Z kids in my garage (not members of my family) dropping off big fat envelopes of cash to wife for her charity program that supports Foster Children. Apparently, they got together, along with another friend, and came up with the idea to set up a lemonade stand as a way to raise money. And I don’t know if it was the lemonade, or their cute faces, or the flyers explaining the reason behind their efforts that got them so much attention. But whatever it was, it worked!

It's impossible to predict what the future will look like. But from where I sit, it looks pretty bright to me!

“Be humble. Be hungry. And always be the hardest worker in the room.”

                                                                                                                    ~ Dwayne Johnson

She Seemed Happy

I try not to judge people because I know it’s wrong. But it’s a hard thing not to do sometimes.

For example, last week my wife and I went to the R&D Restaurant at Fashion Island in Newport Beach for lunch. They are famous for their exceptional cuisine, and we haven’t been there in years, so we were really looking forward to it.  Unfortunately, it was super crowded with the all of the high finance and upper-level businesspeople that work in the super tall ivory skyscrapers that encircle Newport Center.

So we thought about it and decided to order “lunch to go”. Like I said, it was really busy, and every table was full, so we waited outside the entrance. I didn’t really mind waiting because the people-watching was undeniably interesting. There was the guy with perfectly groomed hair and perfectly trimmed nails, wearing an expensive suit, but I think he forgot to put socks on. Oh wait, that’s a style, right? And there were numerous young women dressed to the nines, wearing uncomfortably high shoes, carrying uncomfortably expensive purses. Funny thing was… none of them were smiling. In fact, at times it almost seemed like a contest and the stress of “looking best” was getting to them. None of them seemed happy.

But when I got up to stretch my legs, I noticed a woman all by herself. She wasn’t heading into the R&D Restaurant. She was instead busy working in the courtyard next to it. She was an older woman, with a gray ponytail under a gray baseball cap, and instead of a Versace handbag, she had a broom in her hand. She was sweeping leaves off of the courtyard but there was a bit of a breeze, so every time she swept the leaves one step forward, they would blow two steps back. I saw her dilemma, but I also noticed her determination. She swept faster, and she swept harder, and after 15 minutes she finally got all those leaves back into the planter area.

When our lunch was ready we picked it up and headed to the parking lot. As we passed by the ritzy Neiman Marcus Store and the fancy Lugano Diamonds Store with their high-priced jewelry on display, I saw her again. She was emptying a trash can next to the sidewalk. As I walked by, I thought about her work ethic, how even though most of the time nobody notices her, she probably works hard all the time, taking pride in doing a good job. As I walked by, she looked up and smiled. She seemed happy.

There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.

~ William J. Bennet