What's in Your Wallet

A little over a year ago, my wife and I took a trip to Kauai. We were having a wonderful vacation until I lost my wallet, which meant… no money, no credit cards, no debit card and no driver’s license. Which also meant no way to get on a plane to go home. Super stressful! I prayed that the wallet would turn up and it did. (I was so thankful and happy I wrote a Monday Message about it!) 

Fast forward to this past Christmas. My wife knows I am prone to losing things, so she bought me a very thin wallet with a strong magnet that attaches tightly to the back of your phone. Great idea, and a great gift for a guy like me because now if I lose my phone/wallet, I can track its location.

So problem solved. Right? Not quite. This past weekend I spent hours working at our home in Ladera Ranch getting it ready to rent. Lots of hard work, up and down ladders, inside and outside the house. When I finished I felt great! Unfortunately, upon arriving home I noticed something funny. The wallet was no longer attached to my phone, nor anywhere in sight. I immediately got back in my truck and drove back to our rental home, praying all the way for the Lord to help me find it.

I started with the front yard. Then I searched the back yard, the side yards, the BBQ area, the shed, and both garages. No wallet! So then I searched inside the house, upstairs, downstairs, and every single bedroom, but no luck. At that point I resigned myself to the fact that the wallet was gone. However, I thought about the last place I worked, which was putting shelf paper on the bottom shelf in the pantry. I went back inside, looked around and then knelt down in front of the pantry to look inside. Nothing there. Feeling defeated and deflated, I called my wife to give her the bad news. But as I started to tell her I couldn’t find it, I stepped on something right in front of the pantry. I looked down and it was my wallet! I yelled into the phone, “OMG… I just stepped on it!” She asked me where I was and I explained I am standing right in front of the pantry. But when I was here a few minutes ago, there was no wallet on the floor. She asked, “Well, how can that be?”

And that got me thinking… I pray a lot and sometimes my prayers are answered in very unique ways. Kind of makes me think God has a since of humor as well as a heart full of grace. Maybe He just wanted to remind me that I might be a loopy loser who loses things, but since I never lose my faith, He helps me out. Or maybe He just wanted to remind me that what’s in my wallet isn’t what’s important.

Give thanks even in the worst of times, for it is during those times that our faith makes us whole.

                                                           ~ Grace de Vera                                 

No Regrets

The Holiday Season has ended and hopefully it was a joyous time of celebration for you. It helps to remember the reason for the season, but unfortunately it can also be a time of heavy stress that can easily hinder your hope for peace and solitude. It was like that for me, a lot of joy and happiness spending time with my family. But there were also very difficult, even traumatic things that happened as well. And yet I have so many reasons to celebrate.

It started as a cough and quickly turned into bronchitis. Bad timing for me to be the patriarch of a large family and be sick at Christmas time. But December is known as the start of the cold and flu season, and I definitely felt pretty miserable at times. Then I got word that my sister was extremely ill and hospitalized. She had been sick for a long time and apparently took a turn for the worse. The news sent a wave of emotions through me because, to be honest, my sister and I have never been close. In fact, we haven’t seen each other in over seven years, and she made it clear she didn’t want me to try.

It wasn’t always that way between us. There were plenty of good times when were little kids. So I would often wonder if I should keep trying to contact her. Funny thing is… I was thinking about her 6 months ago and decided on a whim to give her a call. She took my call, which was a surprise, and even more surprising was that we had the best conversation we have had in over 40 years. She was friendly and outgoing, although at one point she started to cry because she said she was so tired of being ill. I tried my best to cheer her up, but I knew her situation was serious, which made me sad. So I simply reminded her that she is loved… by her family, by me, and by God. I don’t know if it helped.

After thinking about it for days, and knowing she didn’t have much time, I decided to go visit her in the hospital. It was three days before Christmas and I had tons to do, but everything inside me screamed at me that I would regret it if I didn’t. So I got up very early the next morning and drove out to a hospital in Menifee. She was in the ICU, and the nurse told me she had been taken off life support, and was unconscious, but that if I talked to her she might be able to hear me. So I held her hand and talked about the good times we had. I reminded her again that she was loved, and then I kissed her goodbye, and left the room crying. She died that evening.

After 70 years of life on this planet, I can honestly say that I have plenty of regrets in plenty of areas. Maybe I should have tried harder to build a better relationship with my sister. Maybe I should have been more patient with her. Maybe I should have done more for her. Or maybe it’s just easy to have regrets if you go looking for them. But what I don’t regret is seeing her one last time and whispering in her ear, God loves you. I don’t know if it helped her, but I know it helped me.

I would rather regret the things I’ve done, than regret than the things I haven’t.

                                                                           ~ Rory Cochrane                                 

Once In a While

Just a quick funny story from last week...

I never saw the car coming and didn’t hear anything either. I was just walking along when all of a sudden, “Wham!” My feet went out from under me and whatever hit me from behind tore a shoe right off my foot! I went flying, hit the ground hard, and so did my cell phone.

It took me a few seconds to gather myself and turn my head to see what hit me. What I saw was a shock to me and it surprised me so much I started to laugh. Yeah, I was a little banged up, and my heel was bleeding, and my phone was missing, but the vision in front of me was so hilarious I just couldn’t stop laughing long enough to get up.

Eventually a man came running over, apologizing, and offering to help me up. But it wasn’t the man who ran me over. It was his two little boys about 7 or 8 years old motoring through the mall in a toy car, apparently at full speed, and also apparently unaware of what or who was in front of them. The look in their eyes after they hit me was sheer terror, kind of like the look on the face of that kid in “Home Alone” after he attempted to shave and apply cologne. And by the angry demeanor of the large man who was apologizing to me, I could see why they were staring at him and not me.

The angry man and his equally angry wife both started to yell full volume at those two boys. They probably figured they were going to get sued for killing an innocent old man walking through the mall. But after a minute of listening to them yell at their sons, I stopped them. I then turned to the two boys and said, “Listen guys. It was an accident and accidents happen. I’m okay and I know you didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Just please be more careful in the future. No response, but their faces did seem to regain a little color.

Anyway, after spotting my phone, I started walking away. Unfortunately, I heard Mom and Pop still going off on those little kids. I just shook my head and thought, “If I ain’t mad, why are you?”

So you’re probably wondering why I called it a “funny” story. Well, I didn’t mean funny like ha, ha! I meant “funny” like odd! Here I am bleeding and banged up, and yet I’m feeling sorry for the little varmints that did it to me. Maybe that’s not odd though. Maybe that’s just me remembering some of the mistakes I made when I was a kid. Don’t we all need just a little forgiveness once in a while!

Forgiveness is a funny thing.

It warms the heart and cools the sting!

~ William Arthur Ward

Somebody Call A Doc

As a young man, I was physically active and worked out on a regular basis. I was blessed with good health overall, but I also made a point to eat right and maintain a healthy weight. Despite those efforts, though, at my age now I find myself needing to see a doctor a lot more often. Which, with Thanksgiving approaching, got me thinking about how grateful I am for all the different doctors and nurses that have taken care of me over the past 10 years, especially Dr. “Doc” Chen.

Last week I went to see “Doc” with a laundry list of aches and pains and crazy strange things that were hard to describe. Fortunately for me, Doc Chen is the most patient doctors I have ever known. He listens carefully to my questions and then asks a lot of important questions on his end. He never rushes me and never fails to compliment me for working hard to stay in shape at 70 years old. I always leave his office feeling better than when I arrived!

After seeing “Doc” and asking him a lot of questions, I got the answers I needed to solve a lot of my issues. But before leaving, “Doc” asked me if I had any more questions. I thought about it, and I thought about Thanksgiving, and then I said, “Yeah, I forgot to ask the most important question of all. Have you been out golfing lately?”

He laughed a little and them got a serious look on his face. He said, “Yes, we talked about golf last time you were here, and yeah, I told you I was going to start golfing more often. But you know, we’re short staffed here, and low on nurses as well. And busier than ever. So it’s really hard to get time off.” I waited a minute and then said, “Okay Doc, you done with the excuses?” He grinned and laughed a little and said, “You know what, you’re right. Sometimes I feel really worn out and when I do find the time to golf it really helps.” So I said, “You want me to write you a prescription for a round of golf? Because it sounds like the right medicine!” He laughed and as he shook my hand he said, “I’m going to play golf next week and then text you and tell you all about it when I’m done.” My reply, “And I promise to text you and let you know if your medicine is working for me!”

I’m no doctor but one thing I know for sure... “Thankful” should be a verb that includes action, not just good wishes.

 

Thankfulness is as important for feeding your soul

as eating is important for feeding your body.

~  J.L.W. Brooks 

All Is Not Lost

I once heard a famous psychologist on the radio say, “Hope is simply delayed disappointment”.  I am not a psychologist, but I respectfully disagree. Furthermore, I believe that hope is a form of optimism that is better defined as,  “A desire for a certain thing to happen”. And it’s that desire… that often leads to action… which can then often lead to the desired result. Here are two examples.

Several weeks ago, my wife got a call from our youngest daughter. She was in a panic because she was at the San Diego Zoo and somehow the diamond in her wedding ring broke off and was missing. I heard my wife say, “Don’t give up hope, maybe you will find it.” Not likely in such a crowded place packed with strangers. But my daughter never gave up hope, and sure enough a stranger found the diamond and turned it into the lost and found. (Now there’s a miracle!)

That very same weekend, my wife and I also found ourselves searching and struggling, hoping to find a lost ring. My wife’s wedding ring! We had just returned from a long vacation in Kauai. But before we left, my wife decided not to take her ring and possibly lose it while swimming. So she asked me to hide it somewhere in our house. Being a man, I of course hid it in the garage. Weeks later, upon catching a late flight home and arriving around 1:30 in the morning, my wife immediately asked me to go get her wedding ring. I went to the garage, got the ring, and gave it to her. Or… at least I thought I did. We were both so tired, I’m not sure what I did.

The next day, Saturday morning, she asked me about the ring. I explained, “I think I went downstairs and got it for you last night.” She looked at me and said, “Okay, so where is it?” Uh oh! My only thought was, I sure hope I can find it! I started with the garage and checked it thoroughly. Then I checked our closet, nightstands, dressers, bathroom and even the kitchen. I I hate to say it, but I started to lose hope.

On Sunday, I prayed. I prayed for help because I didn’t want to be the stupid loser husband who hides his wife’s wedding ring and then can’t find it. Sure enough, God answered me right away. I think He said something like, “Well, I sure hope you find it because I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes if you don’t!” (Gotta love God’s sense of humor!)

Sunday morning I decided it had to be in the master bedroom closet. I took every single thing, including the clothing out of the closet. I even searched the pockets of every item of clothing. When my wife came upstairs, she immediately saw the disappointment in my face. “No luck?” I just shook my head and felt hopeless. Then she asked, what about the metal box where we keep important papers? I answered, “That was one of the first things I checked yesterday. But since I was running out of ideas as fast as I was running out of hope, I decided to check it one more time. All is not lost!

Hope is the thing with feathers –

That perches in the soul –

And sings the tune without the words –

And never stops at all…

                                                                    ~ Emily Dickinson                                                  

Just A Moment

I had cataract surgery recently and it didn’t go as planned. The follow up treatments were painful and took forever and although my right eye is really good, my left eye will never have 20/20 vision due to optic nerve damage. But don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled with my vision because being blind would be so difficult. And yet there are times when I am, unfortunately, totally blind.  

My wife’s Charity, called “Project Foster”, finally moved out of our garage and into a real office building in San Juan Capistrano. For weeks now we have been erecting shelving, organizing the office, and moving hundreds of bins of clothing and hygiene products for children into the building. We are close to being done and last week I loaded the last stack of cardboard into my truck and drove it over to the nearby dumpster.

When I pulled around the corner, the large steel door to the dumpster area was already open. It was open because there was someone in there pulling out aluminum cans. She was a tiny little thing, less than 5’ tall, and totally bundled up in a heavy old coat with a tattered scarf over her head. All I could really see were her big brown eyes. She wasn’t young by any means, and yet I bet a hard life had added years to her that she probably didn’t deserve.

In my broken Spanish, I said, “Disculpeme un momento” (excuse me for a moment). She didn’t utter a word, just backed out and stood to the side with her head down. I didn’t want to make things any harder for her, so I flattened out the boxes and shoved them to the very back of the dumpster, which I figured was a good thing to do. Then I drove away, which was a bad thing to do.

As soon as I got on the freeway, I thought to myself, “You are such a jerk!” I could have easily handed that little old lady a $20 bill and I’m sure it would have made her day. Why didn’t I think of that… or why didn’t I at least make the effort to say something to her, to truly look at her, look into those sad brown eyes and say something nice. There was so much I could have done, so much to see right in front of me, but I was blind.

Yes, I looked at her. But in reality, I looked right through her because my mind was on other things. It would have only taken a moment, just a moment, to show kindness. It won’t happen again, and you know why? Because I am going to remember that there is something amazing about taking the time to truly “see” a person.

You know who could use some kindness right now? Probably everyone.

                                                               ~ Dr. Sun Wolf                                                     

Kharma Kicks In

You’ve probably heard the saying that “Kharma is a Bi$#*%”. But I’m not so sure about that. I think it depends on which side of the Kharma you land on. 

I’ll give you a recent example. My wife and I were on vacation in Kauai last month and we decided to play golf at an upscale golf course called “Hokuala”. We were able to play as a “two-some” so that was nice, but my wife only signed up for 9 holes, so she sat out the front nine.

Basically being a “single” meant that I was playing a lot faster than the four-some in front of us. And for the first four holes I was waiting at each tee box for an extended period of time. I didn’t mind that so much, but they noticed that I was always waiting around for them to finish up on the green as well. So my wife suggested we skip the 5^th hole and drive around them. That sounded like a good plan because I didn’t want to annoy them by being so close behind them all day.

Since they were still on the 5^th tee box after I finished the 4^th hole, I quickly drove up and asked them, “Is there a group right in front of you?” It was an innocent question, because I was about to explain how I would be happy to skip the 5^th hole so that I wasn’t on their tail anymore. Unfortunately, they took my question the wrong way and assumed I was criticizing them for slow play. Two different guys mouthed off to me and gave me a hard time and were still yelling at me as they drove away. My wife gave me a look like, “Why didn’t you respond to those jerks?”

I thought about it. Then I explained that at 70 years old, I’ve learned that keeping my mouth shut lessens the chance of me coming off like a jerk myself. An attribute that has served me well many times in my old age!

On the 8^th hole, a PAR 3 over water, Kharma kicks in. As I’m leaving the green, I notice someone left their really nice Scotty Cameron Putter Cover behind. I knew instantly it must belong to one of those jerks up ahead, so of course my first thought was to toss it into the lake. And sure enough, a minute later they come driving up in their golf cart asking if I found a red putter cover. Having not thrown it into the lake, I still had it in my hand. But before handing it over, I took time to explain to them how my question was meant to benefit them so that I wouldn’t be on their ass all day. Now they were the ones who kept their mouths shut, driving away with Kharma kicking their ass and not mine!

How people treat you is their Kharma. How you react is yours.

                                                                 ~ Wayne Dyer