Extra Extraordinary

My wife and I were on vacation recently in Kauai and the weather, the sunshine, the ocean, and the rainbows were the best we have ever experienced. For a lot of reasons, our vacation was extra extraordinary! 

Unfortunately, my wife has been having a health issue for the last 6 weeks and it didn’t go away during the time we were on vacation. I felt so bad for her because she really needed a relaxing vacation after all the hard work she has done for her charity this year. I also felt lost and worthless because there was nothing I could do to help her. Let’s face it, if you are a loving partner, the worst thing in the world is to have to stand by and watch your spouse (or children) suffer.

That’s the thing about being a spouse or a parent. Your focus is on your loved ones, and it can be really difficult when things are not going well, especially when there’s nothing you can do about it. Or is there?

Last night, after cleaning up the garage and taking a shower, I thought about my wife and my family and how much they mean to me. But I’m just your average Joe, and I can’t fix everything that is wrong. And it’s so damn frustrating! But as I was thinking about my limitations, I also thought about a minor health issue going on with me that is freaking me out, on top of my worries about my wife. It was at that moment that a thought popped into my head. I don’t know where it came from, but it gave me goose bumps and made me feel a whole lot better. That simple thought was… “Don’t worry, God is with you”. I know that sounds overly simple, but I think that’s what I like about it. When you break it all down, there’s nothing to worry about if you have faith in an extra extraordinary God!

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

Never Be Lonely

I saw a bumper sticker on a car last week that was pretty funny. It said, “If I give you a straw will you go suck the joy out of someone else’s life.” It reminded me of a time in my life when I had a really nice car… but a really hard life. It also reminded me of how I should live my life.

I was only 17 years old and living on my own in Fallbrook, California. After school I worked at a gas station out in the boonies on the corner of Hwy 76 and 395. I learned a lot about cars working there and since it was 1973 there were a lot of nice cars coming through the station. I saw Camaro’s, Mustangs, Dusters, Super Bee’s, and this one really cool Plymouth Road Runner that had a “For Sale” sign on it. I talked to the young Marine that owned it and he explained that he was being shipped overseas and needed to sell it fast. I made him an offer and later that day I was the proud owner of a metallic gold Road Runner with a 4-speed on the floor, chrome Cragar rims, and big Micky Thompson Indy tires. It looked like a race car, but rode like junker. But hey… I figured it might be a great girl magnet.

Truth is, my life was really hard at that time, living on my own, with no parents around. I went hungry a lot, and I was lonely all the time, but that car had one feature that made it stand out. It had a big red bumper sticker that said, “God is Love”. I thought about taking that bumper sticker off (because the kids at school would think I wasn’t cool), but every time I looked at it, it made me feel better and little less lonely, and that my life wasn’t really all that bad. I left that bumper sticker on until I finally sold that car, and as it drove away, I knew I would never be lonely again!

The best way to find love is to find God.

~ Anonymous

Things Are Looking Up

Twice a week I help my wife with babysitting our 2-year-old granddaughter. This past week I took her to a park area with a playground a couple of times and it was really fun for her…and surprisingly fun for me too. Seeing her eyes light up when she spots things she hasn’t seen before or hearing her laugh when she watches a little lizard run by, makes me laugh too.

However, I noticed something when she dropped her Mickey Mouse Doll and couldn’t find it. I didn’t know where it went, but she pointed it out to me underneath the slide because her viewpoint is so much closer to the ground than mine. So I looked where her finger was pointing, and then had to crawl on my stomach to reach the toy. While I’m down there, I realize that this is basically her current view of the world. I mean, when you’re only 28” tall, everything you see is mostly at ground level. That’s probably why we spent a lot of time looking at plants and flowers, picking up sticks, using the sticks to draw in the dirt, checking out the rocks, and laughing at the bugs and butterflies.

And that got me thinking… When we are young, we tend to focus on things down low and get excited by Mother Nature, and that’s a very a cool introduction to the world. But when we get older and have to face the all the difficult issues that come with adult life, we need to start looking up and get excited about Father God!

I thank God for this most amazing day, 

for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a true-blue dream of sky. 

And for everything which is natural… which is infinite… which is He.

~ E. E. Cummings

It's Who You Know

I’ve been on vacation in Kauai for a couple of weeks, so I haven’t put out a Monday Message lately. But actually, being on vacation in such a uniquely beautiful place has given me a lot of ideas for future Monday Messages. 

For example… I love to golf at the Makai Course in Princeville, Kauai. It’s probably one of the top 10 most beautiful golf courses on earth. So I’ve played quite a few rounds while also getting to know a lot of the people that work there. Yesterday, I was paired up with a young couple that had never been to the Makai Course before. As we waited around for the starter to send us off, three different Makai employees walked by us and everyone of them said, “Aloha, Joe, how you doing?” And when the starter, Hideki, said we were good to go, he said, “Joe, will you please lead this young couple out to the 10^th tee box for me?” (The front nine was closed for construction).

On the way to the 10^th Tee box, an employee in a golf cart stopped and offered us some fresh pineapple. I took a few minutes to talk to her and thank her for the good treats. When we finally got to the 10^th tee and got ready to play, a maintenance worker also drove by us and said “Hi Joe” to me. I guess all that friendliness made an impression on the young couple I was with, because the young man said, “Wow! Does every person on this island know you?”

My response was - Well, the thing is, this is their home, this is where they live, work, and play. I’m just a visitor here. So I feel like it’s not important that they get to know me. What is important… is that I take the time to get to know them. Which is what I try to do.

And that got me thinking… You can expend a lot of energy trying to get noticed, or you can simply smile and be nice to people and their energy will often come right back to you!

Makai Golf Course, Princeville, Kauai

What can one person do? One person can prove false the notion that nobody cares.

 ~ Robert Brault

The Heat Is On

This has been the hottest summer I can ever remember. Problem is, my wife and I are both super busy and we can’t really avoid the heat. I have a parking lot light pole inspection business which includes pushing a heavy tool cart 10,000 steps a day on hot asphalt. And my wife has a charity which involves filling at least 100 suitcases each month with clothing and essentials for foster children, which she does in our hot garage.

Okay, I’m basically a guy’s guy, so I’m not about to complain about a little bit of heat. Although the other day it was 110 degrees at Westlake Village Plaza and the sole on my right shoe basically melted and separated, which then made flapping noises as I walked. I looked and sounded stupid for quite a while but then hey… there’s nothing a little duct tape can’t fix!

Anyway, that’s not the problem. The problem is that I worry about my wife overheating while lifting heavy suitcases in our garage. So I decided that I would write her a love poem on my way home and my plan was to get her an ice-cold glass of tea and then recite the poem to her as soon as she came in from the garage to cheer her up. I must say the idea had merit, but unfortunately the execution was lacking … mainly because the poem sucked! But you know what… the heat was on then, and the heat is on now!

 

When we first met it’s like you were the universe
and I was merely some dust

who got to experience your beauty,
once I shook off the rust.

 

So I extended my hand to this angel from heaven

and was very surprised to find,

that it was instantly met by another 

so soft, warm, and kind.

Make Your Bed

I love my wife because she’s beautiful inside and out and makes me happy in so many ways. But one thing I’ve noticed over the years is that although we are alike in some ways, we are very different in others.

For example, she likes to do laundry every single day. If it were up to me it would probably be once a month. Sometimes I can’t even get both legs out of my pants before she is trying to throw them in the washing machine. And when it comes to the sheets on our bed, she washes them at least every other day, which seems to me like a lot of work…but I don’t argue I just follow directions. Besides, it makes her happy and that’s a big part of my job as her husband!

So she washes the sheets, and I help her by making the bed. And when I do I make it right and pull it tight. I’m guess I’m kind of a perfectionist that way. But it’s also because my Dad was a Captain in the Marine Corps and that’s the way he taught me to do it. But then last week, I read something written by a Navy Seal and it finally explains why making your bed is so important. Who knew?

“Every morning in basic SEAL training, my instructors, who at the time were all Viet Nam veterans, would show up in my barracks room and the first thing they would do was inspect our beds. If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the rack—rack—that’s Navy talk for bed.

It was a simple task - mundane at best. But every morning we were required to make our bed to perfection. It seemed a little ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that were aspiring to be real warriors, tough battle-hardened SEALs - but the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over.

If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another.

By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. Let’s face it - If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.

And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made—that you made—and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better. If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed!”

So this morning I made the bed, and my wife did the laundry, and I thought…If you truly find the right person to share your life and labor with… you’ve got a much better chance of changing the world!

Without labor, nothing prospers. 

~ Sophocles

Perfect Timing

Have you ever heard the saying, “Timing is everything”? I have, and I believe it applies to a lot of things in life, both good and bad.

Just over four years ago, Covid slammed headfirst into us and put a halt to just about everything that was formally part of our normal lives. The work stoppage happened immediately, confounding my efforts to get a new business off the ground. I couldn’t visit clients for fear of contracting (or spreading) the virus, so I found myself floundering and frustrated. That’s when my golf journey truly started.

I couldn’t work, but I could go to the golf course and work out my frustrations on a little white ball. I had played golf on and off for years, and really liked it. So I was glad to have it as a fun option. Problem was finding someone to golf with. That’s where the timing thing comes in.

I showed up extremely early one morning knowing I would get paired up with strangers. Strangers who may or may not want me joining their group. In fact, the previous week I got paired up with a father and son. But the father asked me not to play so he could spend quality time with his son. I understood, but I also has to stand there for over an hour before finally getting paired up with a three-some that didn’t speak English. Not a lot of fun. But this time, instead of strangers, one of my best friends from my Halo Baseball Club days was standing on the first tee with his wife and another buddy. They needed a fourth and as luck (and timing) would have it, I was at the right place at the right time.

Our foursome has now played golf together almost every single Wednesday since that fateful day we “accidentally” got paired up. And every time we play a round of golf, I love it more and more. Our friendships have grown, my golf game has improved, and my outlook on life is more positive for several reasons, not the least of which is I get to play a game outdoors, in a beautiful environment, with people I really enjoy. I look forward to it every week. But was it “divine timing”, or was it an accident?

Hard to say for sure, but I remember another saying that’s popular. “When one door closes, another one opens.” Covid may have shut the door on a lot of our normal social activities, and it may have temporarily closed the door on my business at the worst possible time. But it was no accident that I got paired up with the perfect people because I’m pretty sure God is a scratch golfer whose His timing is always perfect!   

“Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, 

but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club.”

~ Henry Beard