Hopelessly Hopeful

Some people would probably call me a hopeless romantic. Hopeless because I was born that way and at 68 there’s a good chance I’m never going to change. But not “hopeless” in the since that my heart and soul are filled with hope… and that’s never going to change either.

But is hope a good thing? I ask that question because some people believe that the definition of hope is simply – “delayed disappointment”. I disagree! I say that there is great power in hope, and it starts with faith and ends with love. Let me give you a couple of examples. 

• My wife has had a wide variety of health issues ever since I married her. (I know what you’re thinking, but I’m pretty sure it’s not my fault.) Her health issues include one lung that is stapled together, serious migraines that pop up at the worst possible times, and most recently a little toe that is pointing in the wrong direction thanks to a heavy piece of furniture. But do I think it’s hopeless to keep hoping she will be okay? No! 

• I also have a friend whose wife is struggling with a serious health issue. They have been to see countless doctors but none of the doctors have been able to figure out the problem. And I can see the pain etched in his face when he talks about his wife’s pain, but do I think it’s hopeless to keep hoping and praying that she will be okay? Absolutely not! 

So to those people who say that hope is delayed disappointment, I say wrong! Hope is – “powered positivity”. And here’s why. I believe there is great power in hope, and it starts with faith. If I care about my wife and friends and pray for them and let them know I am praying for them, it will make them feel good, strengthen them, and give them one more reason to be hopeful. And if I love them, and let them know they are truly loved, that too will provide encouragement and strength because trust me… love is the most powerful force in the universe. And that too is never going to change!

And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:13

Grasshopper

Do you ever find yourself getting frustrated and irritated with people? I’m not talking about friends and family so much (although I do have some relatives that can be super annoying), I’m mostly referring to strangers and just regular people in general.

Most of the time it’s just little things. Like two days ago I was in a busy grocery store and some lady parks her cart right in the middle of the aisle blocking my way, and she’s completely unaware because she’s on her phone probably gossiping with a friend. Or like when I was leaving the store and trying to back out of a parking spot, some yahoo is stopped behind me waiting for some other car way up ahead to back out, and there’s plenty of room for the yahoo to move forward, but he must be friggin’ blind because he doesn’t notice that my back up lights are on, so I can’t get out. Or like when I was on my way home, I was stopped at a red light. When the light turned green the stupid dufus in the car in front of us (four other cars and me are behind him) is asleep at the wheel and never moves until the light turns yellow, leaving the rest of us still sitting at the same red light. How can people be so darn annoying. It's enough to make you lose faith in your fellow man!

But then sometimes… something will happen that turns your faith back around. Like today I had a fairly large job to do way out in Riverside off of Box Springs Road. I had to inspect 57 Light Poles at a huge “Distribution Center” filled with semi-truck trailers, most of which are parked in front of light poles, making access difficult. But what really made access a problem was that the last three poles were fenced in behind a locked gate. It’s Saturday, so nobody’s around, and when I knock on several doors to the building I get no answer. At that point I’m 200 yards away on the far end of the building when I notice a truck driver opening the gate and driving in. I pack my tools into my truck and drive as fast as possible towards the gate. But as I arrive, the truck driver has already dropped his trailer and is heading back out.

The last thing I want to do is drive all the way back to Riverside on Monday. So I jump out of my truck and wave to the driver. He stops, and I notice he’s this big burly guy with a huge red beard, tons of tattoos all the way up his arm, and what appears to be a perpetual scowl on his face. I hesitated to ask because this guy was pretty intimidating, but then mumbled something to him about needing access to the yard. I swear he growled first, but then he asked me, “How much F*&#king time you need?” I politely replied, “About 15-20 minutes sir.” He thought about it for a moment and then said, “Yeah sure, I’ll wait right here for 20 minutes.” I was kind of shocked, but immediately grabbed my tools and literally ran to the first pole. And when I had finished all three poles (in record time I might add), I ran all the way back to my truck. But as I passed through the gate, I heard the gate motor click and saw the truck driver pulling away. I didn’t even get a chance to thank him for his unselfishness and surprising kindness.

So let’s just say that my faith in humanity was restored quite significantly. And while I’m at it, let me also apologize for…

 Saying that lady in the grocery store was probably a “gossiper”

That the guy in the parking lot was a “friggin blind yahoo”

And that the guy at the red light was a “stupid dufus”

Shame on me for not having more patience… and furthermore I think I’m going to go out today and get myself a full-length arm tattoo that says, Patience, grasshopper!

Follow Your Dreams

When I was just a boy of 14, I was very young and naïve. I had so many dreams, but I didn’t yet know what the world was really like or what the world would require of me. But it wouldn’t be long before I found out.

At that age I wanted a motorcycle because all my buddies had one, but my Dad could not afford to buy me one. So he suggested I get a part time job. Our neighbor who had a large 30-acre avocado ranch, offered to put me to work pruning avocado trees for $1.25/hour alongside his migrant workers. I had never had to work before, and I quickly found out it wasn’t fun. But I stuck with it for nine weeks over the hot summer months and made enough money to buy myself a brand-new Yamaha 175 Enduro. That was my first real “life lesson” and there would be many more to come.  

Two and half years later, my Dad retired from the USMC and moved us to San Francisco. By that time I was 16 and I had a truck, a motorcycle, and a part time job at a gas station. I hated the weather in the Bay Area and missed my life in rural Fallbrook, CA, so I begged my Dad to let me go back. He agreed, but only if I kept up my grades and stayed out of trouble. I left immediately and let’s just say I kept up half the bargain, my grades were really good. At 16 ½, I found myself living in a plywood shack on my neighbor’s avocado ranch and working part time at a gas station out on Highway 395. I was often cold, hungry, and lonely. I missed my family and the love and security they provided… and the life lessons began to pour over me like water flowing over Niagara Falls.

I remember not being able to afford a new pair of shoes and being embarrassed about it at school. But all that did was remind me that if I wanted something, I had to work for it. For the next few years, every time I found myself struggling, I would also find a way to survive. And with each passing month I became smarter and stronger. After graduating High School, I tried college, but I couldn’t afford it and didn’t really enjoy it. So I started thinking about my future and all the life lessons I learned living in that plywood shack and working at several different gas stations. For example… I learned that not every business owner is honest, that not every employee follows the rules, that the general public can be hard to deal with, and that if a rogue motorcycle gang like the “iron Horsemen” from Oceanside pull into your gas station, the best thing to do is to stay calm and stay inside the building. I also learned that if a drunk dairy farmer from Pauma Valley pulls into your gas station and starts yelling at you, you should run. I didn’t and I spent two days in the hospital, and a lot of money at the dentist replacing a broken tooth.

Funny thing is, I never did lose my optimistic outlook. My Dad warned me that life on my own would not be easy and boy was that an understatement! But at the same time, he told me to either call him or talk to God if I was struggling, so that’s what I did… I both talked and prayed a lot… and I would have to say that overall my life has turned out pretty darn good!

So… If I could go back and give some advice to myself as a teenager, it would be fairly simple.

1. Work hard and put out the effort asked of you.
2. Give people a chance but be careful who you trust.
3. Keep moving forward and believe in yourself.
4. And lastly, follow your dreams and make your own path, but don’t do anything you can’t tell your Grandpa about!

 

Possibilities

I witnessed the most beautiful sunrise this morning, and it got me thinking…

 It’s the start of a New Year.

A new Month.

  A new Week.

 A new Day.

And the possibilities are Endless!

Question is… Will I recognize that I am being given this wonderful gift of a brand new day and spend it focused on myself? Or will I actually appreciate the gift He is giving me and share it with others?

 And if I choose to share it with others, how will I do that? The possibilities are endless!

And just like that, when hope felt lost, the sunrise lit the mountaintop. 

Insisting we all look up.

                                                         ~ Jean McCarthy                                                           

I Saw God

It’s the Holiday Season and Christmas is right around the corner! I really love this time of year because I get to spend a lot more time with my family, eat great big, wonderful meals, and exchange gifts with people I love and care about. But also at this time of year, I tend to look at… and see things a little differently.

We lost several family members in the past two years due to cancer and covid. So my focus on the important things in life, like friends and family, and people in general, is now heightened. Maybe it’s my age, but I don’t want to take anyone for granted, ever again, because I know I have. So these days, when I am with someone I try to look them straight in the eye. I want them to see that I am connecting with them and that I am listening to them. People want to be “seen”, so I make it point to let them know that they are “seen” by me, and that they matter to me.

Funny thing is, the more I look at the world around me and the people that are in it, the more I see God. In fact, I saw God the other day when I witnessed a friend of mine donate a kidney to a complete stranger. I saw God when I noticed my son was picking up stray trash off the ground and throwing it away. I saw God when I witnessed my wife working for hours in the kitchen, preparing to host our “Family Baking Day”. Last night I saw God when my granddaughter crawled up next to me on the couch and ask me to read her “Riddles for Kids” book with her. And I especially saw God last week when a homeless man who was really upset, approached me because he lost his backpack with all of his clothes in it. And I felt God speak to me and suggest I give him the coat off my back. And I for sure saw God when I watched a brilliant, orange sunrise burst over the top of Saddleback Mountain earlier this morning. I am pretty sure God is everywhere… if we just make the effort to see Him!

     “And that’s the real meaning of Christmas – Charlie Brown!”

Burger Queen

I admit I have a few bad habits and one of them is that I love to eat hot dogs and hamburgers. Somehow it’s just been programmed into me over time. And what makes it really bad is that I am constantly on the road, so I tend to go to a lot of fast-food restaurants where the food is probably not all that healthy. But hey, there are worse things in this world.

Lately, when I’ve gone to fast-food places I’ve been extremely disappointed. There is no longer a human being at the counter to take your order. Instead you have to go up to a machine and try to punch the right buttons to get your food order placed. It doesn’t work well and the last time I tried it, the machine didn’t work at all. So I went up to the counter and stood there for over 5 minutes waiting for help. A line started to form behind me and after 10 minutes, I gave up and left telling the people behind me, “I quit, and I think the people that work here must have quit too!”

Last week, I went to a Wienerschnitzel Restaurant and was greeted at the drive thru by an “AI” person. Or maybe “person” isn’t the right word. I think it’s actually called “Chatbot”, and I have to say that the “Chatbot” actually did a good job of taking my order. But driving away, I felt more like I had just bought a sandwich from a vending machine rather than buying lunch at a restaurant. I know it sounds stupid, but I miss the “human” interaction.

But yesterday was different! I needed to wash up after working, so I stopped at the McDonalds off of Lake Forest Drive and went inside. I was greeted with a big smile and a friendly hello from an older lady behind the counter. (I say older, but what I really mean is someone my age.) She took my order right away, asked me the appropriate questions, and really seemed to enjoy her job. After I paid and glanced down at my dirty hands, I started towards the restroom. She said, “I will keep your drink cup here for you for when you come back.” Just a small thing, but she was doing her best to be extra helpful and considerate. And when I got my food and was leaving, she said with a warm smile, “Drive safe” and “I hope you have a great day”. Funny thing is, I believe she meant it!

Those seemingly ordinary moments when we care enough to notice the needs of others and do what we can to brighten someone’s day… are not ordinary at all. And I definitely don’t think we can program a Chatbot to do that!

Kindness can be the greatest gift that you can give a person. 

Especially when they are not expecting it.

 ~ Anonymous

The Invisible Man

I stopped and just stood still for a moment. The visible world around me was spinning like crazy! Hundreds of people going places, popping into restaurants, shopping for Christmas presents, buying groceries, filling up their cars with gas, and busy… so very, very busy.

It’s a typical Saturday morning in December in the city of Irvine. I am at a large Retail Shopping Center simply doing my job inspecting parking lot light poles for corrosion. I’m pushing a heavy tool cart loaded with a bright array of equipment, including hand tools, an impact driver, and a sophisticated and expensive Ultrasonic Thickness Gage Machine. I am even wearing a bright yellow safety vest. But yet, I am invisible.

I will be working for 6 straight hours today and hundreds of people will walk by me, jog by me, or drive by me, (sometimes way too close) and not ever truly notice me. They are too busy, and rightfully so, because for most people the Holiday Season is the busiest time of the year. But I do exist, I am a real person, and before the day is over, hopefully I will be seen… and not run over!

And then there appeared this cleaning lady. She was pushing a heavy roll cart loaded with cleaning supplies, and like me was wearing a yellow safety vest. As we passed on the sidewalk, she gave me a smile, and I waved back with an enthusiastic, “Good morning!” About an hour later, I was approached by a security guard, also in a yellow vest. He asked me what I was doing, I explained and asked him how his day was going. He responded with one word, “Busy”. Later, as I got to the perimeter of the property, I came across a landscaper, also wearing a yellow vest, diligently spreading mulch in the planter. He was working hard pushing a very heavy wheelbarrow, and never looked up at me until I was right next to him. I told him the planters looked so much nicer, and he smiled at that comment. I think he mostly smiled because a stranger took time to notice him.

When I got home from work and sat down for dinner, my wife made an interesting observation. She said, “What I like about you is that you “connect” with people. You take time to look them in the eye and listen to them. People need that and appreciate it!” First, I am really glad there is at least one thing she likes about me. Second,  it’s not always true! Too many times I have ignored the waiter who filled my iced tea before it was even empty, the gardener who kept my yard trimmed during the hot summer months, and the mailman who delivered my mail like clockwork six days a week all year long.

You know that old saying, “If you want something done, give it to a busy person.” It’s true because busy people usually figure out how to get things done. So from now on, I am going to be that busy guy… who figures out how to get things done… like turning the invisible into visible!

The Invisible Man

You’ll never get more attention from people than when you are listening to them.

                                                                                  ~ Robert Brault