Open It Up

Twelve years ago, I attempted to play guitar in a small rock and roll band that included two of my adult children and three of my friends.  Everyone in the band was gifted musically. For example, my oldest son is an accomplished drummer who won multiple percussion awards in High School and my oldest daughter performed and sang the lead in local theatre shows as well as at one-point auditioning for American Idol. Everyone was super gifted, everyone that is except for me. So, I practiced over and over to become better and even though the best I ever got was mediocre, I absolutely loved it. I still get goose bumps just thinking about how thrilling it was to perform in front of a crowd. But after playing together for 3 years, my daughter became pregnant with her third child, and the band stopped playing. I put my beautiful Taylor acoustic guitar in its case, closed the lid, and shoved it under my bed.

Fast forward nine years later... On this past Saturday I took my wife to the Monarch Beach Resort so that she and two of her friends could attend an art class. Besides having zero musical gifts, I also have zero artistic gifts, so while they painted a beautiful ocean scene, I went to the Gym to get in some exercise. I finished my work out before the painting class was over and wandered over to the lobby to hang out while I waited. The lobby of the Monarch Beach Resort is spectacular with a long bar at one end and huge floor to ceiling glass windows showcasing a beautiful sunset view at the other end.

Since it was a Saturday evening, the bar was packed, and people were enjoying live entertainment provided by a professional violin player. This obviously gifted musician wasn’t playing classical music, he was playing beautiful modern songs by artists like Ed Sheeran and Marron 5… and he was playing them with an extreme passion! I was absolutely captivated by his music and could have listened all night long. I even took a video of his performance so that I could show it to my 12-year-old grandson who is taking viola lessons. I’m pretty sure watching a professional perform live with such passion would be tremendously inspiring to a youngster who has already shown that he too has musical gifts.

And that got me thinking… One of the main reasons I write Monday Messages is to inspire people to remember the important things in life. Things like hope and faith, family and friends, and all of God’s gifts and blessings. Well, it dawned on me yesterday that inspiration comes in many forms and so do God’s gifts. In fact, yesterday I got down on my knees, reached under my bed, and pulled out an old, dusty guitar case. Who knows, I might even open it up!

God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.

~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Searching for Happiness

Sometimes I wonder if I am so busy searching for happiness that I forget that most of the time it’s right there in front of me. Especially since I have so many wonderful friends!

On Saturday night, my wife and I went to dinner at a friend’s house in Laguna Niguel. We had never been to their house before, so it was nice to finally visit their home. Despite both of them having extremely busy careers in the medical profession, (he is a doctor and she is a nurse) they found time to remodel their home themselves and did a wonderful job. It is beautifully decorated, with a gorgeous Grand Piano in the living room and a huge wraparound patio outside with a stunning view of the ocean. Since it was our first visit, they gave us a tour and I noticed they had the same pillow in their guest bedroom that we have in our guest bedroom. It’s a long decorative pillow with the definition of “Happiness” written on it. It reminded me that I was happy to have these people as friends!

I like this couple a lot because they are really fun, funny, interesting, and adventurous. Recently the husband signed up for a trip to explore Antarctica and after dinner he showed us an amazing video. Antarctica is one of the last places on earth that hasn’t been spoiled by the human race and its beauty is singularly unique. Apparently just getting to Antarctica was an adventure in itself, but once he arrived, it turned out to be one of those bucket list things that we all should try to do at least once before we die.

Speaking of “Bucket List” I saw that movie recently for the second time.  It’s about two terminally ill men who escape from a cancer ward to begin a trip around the world with a bucket list of to-dos before they die. Edward (Jack Nicholson) just wants to have fun no matter what it costs, while Carter (Morgan Freeman) is a lot more thoughtful. Near the end of the movie, Edward is acting like a jerk, once again, because all he cares about is his own happiness. So Carter stops him for a moment and quietly tells him something extremely insightful. He explains to Edward that the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance to heaven, the guards asked two questions.  The first question was, “Have you found joy in your life?” The second question was, “Has your life brought joy to others?”

Maybe that pillow with the definition of happiness on it isn’t entirely complete. Maybe it should include… bringing joy to someone else’s life!

Happiness held is the seed; happiness shared is the flower.

~ Anonymous

Listening

My wife often tells me that I’m not listening, and we often tell our 3yr old son to “use his listening ears”.  So maybe I’m forgetting an important life lesson I learned years ago but seemed to have forgotten with daily life happening so quickly these days.

Has it ever happened where you heard a voice, or had a strong feeling about something you were going to do? Maybe it was telling you to do something, or maybe it was telling you NOT to do something. By it, I’m referring to the Holy Spirit. God telling us something directly, as clearly as he can make it. For me, three very specific times come to mind. 

·     The first was at 11yrs old riding my motorcycle. God told me to go home at dinner time, but I decided to turn around and keep riding. One minute later I had a broken leg. I should have listened, God was trying to save me from that pain.

·         The second time was when I was 27, same thing with a motorcycle. This time I had two broken legs and a fractured hip... you’d think I would have remembered the first time, but I’m a sinner who doesn’t always listen. More pain.

·     The third time, no motorcycle, but the bad thing (for me) involved my girlfriend. I kept hearing the voice for months telling me she wasn’t right, until finally I couldn’t ignore the voice any longer and we broke up. I felt bad she was heartbroken, but it was the right thing for me to do.  I listened!

About a month after we split up, my friends invited me to their wedding at the last minute. When I checked in to the hotel, I had an instant connection with the woman behind the counter. I told her how I liked her “high waisted skirt”. She awkwardly laughed but smiled. Evidently, it’s called a pencil skirt. We kept finding each other’s eyes throughout the night and finally talked after she got off work. It seemed like minutes, but it was actually hours. We had an instant connection, love at first sight.

We married a year later, six years now, and two beautiful kids.  She’s my best friend and a terrific mom. She helps in our business, is the life of the party for everybody who meets her, the love of my life, and truly a blessing from God. That’s what happens when you listen to God, he blesses you. When you don’t, he allows Satan to affect you - reminding you to listen. He wants to talk to us, but it’s up to us to listen.

Joe emailed me several weeks ago asking if I wanted to write a message sometime. I was honored and something told me to help. I listened! That said, I’m going to try and slow down daily and remember to listen more.  Give it a try and see what blessings find you this week!

The most important thing with listening… is to hear what isn’t being said.

~ Peter F. Drucker 

Weeds

When I woke up this morning, I had a tough problem running through my head. It’s days later and I still don’t have the solution, so why is that?

But let me back up a minute. At the beach house where we live, we don’t have a yard, but we do have several planter areas with banana palms and lots of decorative flowers. I like having these planters because the flowers are beautiful when they bloom, and they add contrasting color to the otherwise solid stretch of white sand outside our window.  Living near white sand, blue water, and colorful flowers is a blessing, but I’ll tell you what’s not a blessing… Weeds!

The whole time I was pulling out those ornery, ugly weeds this weekend, I was wishing I was done. I hate to admit it, but I wanted to get back inside and follow the golf tournament on TV, a much more satisfying endeavor, so I was rushing my work. And then a thought occurred to me. “If I don’t take my time and reach down to the very bottom of each weed, and do my best to pull out the root along with the plant, it will just grow back that much faster.” I definitely don’t want that to happen, which reminded me of when I owned a contracting business. I would constantly coach my electricians to do a great job. When I sent them out on service calls, I would tell them, “Don’t just fix the problem, fix the problem for the last time!” In other words, look for ways to the solve the problem that causes the problem… so that it won’t happen again.

That was an excellent philosophy and I believe it can be applied to a lot of things in life. If you have a job you don’t enjoy, don’t keep hoping it’s going to change, change your job. If you have friends who are not such good people, you probably can’t change them, so try getting new friends. If you have a bad habit of smoking cigars whenever you go golfing (not talking about me of course) then don’t buy cigars to take with you, dummy. Duh!

Sounds easy, right? Well it can be for a lot of things, but unfortunately, not everything. I think God made it that way on purpose because if everything was easy and/or fixable, we human beings wouldn’t grow and become stronger and ultimately be able to create a better life for ourselves. So, going back to that problem I mentioned at the top of the page, the problem that has been worrying me for days, the problem I can’t seem to solve. Well, I still can’t solve it and maybe I never will. But guess what, I’m okay with that because I realize… not everything is fixable!

The only thing that should be considered the 

end of the world, is the end of the world.

~ Former President Barack Obama 

Memories

My wife is an extremely generous person and just loves to do for others. This is especially evident at Christmas time, but she is also smart enough to know that the best gifts are not always found in stores.

For Christmas this year, we gave our children and grandchildren a family trip to “The Alisal Ranch” in Solvang, California. The Alisal is western style working cattle ranch, where you can ride horses on more than 1000 acres of beautiful countryside covered with green grass and awesome oak trees. Cattle roam free and so do deer, hawks, bald eagles and the occasional bear. We’re not really sure about the “bear story” we heard while we were there, but the bartender says his friend, has a friend, who has a friend who has seen one, so it’s obviously gotta be true!

As I write this story, we are just finishing up our vacation at The Alisal Ranch. Our family trip together this year consisted of 12 people, including eight adults and 4 small children, and yet there was definitely something to interest every single person. Besides horseback riding, members of our family took a hay ride up into the hills for an early morning outdoor breakfast, fished at the lake, swam in the pool, played billiards, ping pong, bingo, and board games. And while the four adult men played golf on Sunday, the ladies had a spa day. Like I said, something for everyone.

There was so much to do, that everyone had a ton of fun! But the best part was the evening meal at The Alisal Ranch Restaurant. Girls get all gussied up and men are required to wear jackets and they even reserve the same special table for all 12 for us every single night. While the food was great, the fellowship, the stories and the conversation at dinner was the best part. I doubt my kids will remember the store-bought gifts we bought them at the Christmas celebrations years past. But I know for sure they will remember the family vacations we have taken to places like Tahoe, Arrowhead, and The Alisal Ranch. Store bought gifts are fun and create nice excitement but meaning-full memories made with family and friends… those are gifts that will last a lifetime!

Memories are a way of holding onto the things you love, 

 the things you are, and the things you never want to lose.   

~ from “The Wonder Years”

                                                      

Kind of Exciting

Last week we had a little bit of rain and on Wednesday night, we had a little bit of excitement! It was the middle of the night, and my wife and I were totally sound asleep. I remember it seemed like somebody was shining a bright light into our bedroom window when, a few seconds later, there was a huge booming clap of thunder that shook our tiny beach house like it was made of cardboard. My wife and I shot straight up in bed at exactly the same time, our eyes wide open, our hearts pumping full steam. You could almost see the adrenalin coursing through our veins. And of course, I said something stupid, like “Must be a thunder storm”, at which point we both smiled because, you know… it was kind of exciting!

When I woke up the next morning, I thought about that super loud thunder. While it was scary, it was also definitely exciting, which got me thinking about excitement in general and the exciting “Challenge of Threes” I gave myself for the month of January. One of those challenges is to connect with God three times a day, so I’ve been starting every morning with a quick prayer of thanks that I actually woke up. Hey, if you stop to think about it, waking up is way better than the alternative. So therefore, it’s definitely something to be thankful for… and excited about!

I’ve started to notice that truly being thankful for each and every new day on this earth is making me excited about what each new day will bring. And excitement comes in many forms! Fifty years ago, I raced a Triumph motorcycle at over 100 miles per hour on a dirt race track in Vallejo, California. Forty years ago, I started my first business with limited experience and an even more limited education. Thirty years ago, I helped install a cross on a mountaintop with no roads. Twenty years ago, I fell in love and married the most beautiful woman on earth. Ten years ago, I started writing Monday Messages and have never stopped. Five years ago, at almost 60 years old, I helped my baseball team win a world championship in Phoenix. Five years from now…?

I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know this. I am excited to be alive, I am excited to connect with my Creator, and I am determined to be excited and appreciative of every single new day… even if it rains!

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, 

but I do know who holds my tomorrow.

~ Anonymous

Maturity

I don’t usually make New Year’s Resolutions, but there are some areas in my life that need improvement. So, this year I decided to create a personal challenge for myself during the month of January.

I call it the January Challenge of Three’s because it’s divided into three categories. Those three categories are Health, Work, and Love, and within each those three categories, there are three separate goals that I want to try to achieve. For example:

Health  - My goal is to work out three times a week, eat three healthy meals every day, and limit my alcohol

                 intake to no more than three drinks per week during January. (Those first two won’t be that hard,

                 but I have to admit that last one’s gonna be real tough!)

Work     - l have three pretty hard goals involving Sales, Marketing and new Customers, but I like to set the

                 bar high and push myself to see what I can accomplish.

Love      - This one is actually going to be the hardest, but it’s also going to be the most satisfying because it

                 involves connecting better with family and friends in the areas of Faith, Hope and Love.

As I was figuring out my January Challenge of Three’s, something interesting occurred to me that helped me put it into perspective. I think there might be three stages of life that we go through!

·         When we are children, we focus on what we have. You know, toys and things.

·         When we are young, we focus on what we do. You know, our jobs and our experiences.

·         When we are older, we focus on who we are. You know, our outlook and our character.

I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with loving toys as a child or seeking a better job as a young adult. But with age comes maturity and with maturity comes a better perspective on the true joys of life. And if life is to be meaningful, then shouldn’t our joys should be the highest possible? Therefore, I may not accomplish my goals in the category of Health, and I may not accomplish my goals in the category of Work, but no matter what… I totally resolve to accomplish my goals in the area of Love!

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. 

But the greatest of these is love.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:13