Open The Eyes of My Heart

Are you experiencing the tint of a colorless world? Lately, I sure have and it’s my own fault.

About six weeks ago I injured my back and I’ve had sciatica nerve pain ever since. I saw a doctor who recommended prescription Ibuprofen along with physical therapy, so I have been doing that very diligently. But after all this time I haven’t gotten any better and still feel quite a bit of pain all day long. I can’t stand up for any length of time, so even though it’s the heart of summer, I can’t jog, I can’t play golf or baseball, I can’t even paddle-board or swim for more than a few minutes. As a very active guy, I am not very happy right now.

This past week it really started to get me down and affect my attitude, which is normally so positive. Even my wife commented, “you look 20 years older than normal”, which I’m sure was meant to somehow cheer me up, but it didn’t exactly have the desired effect. However, last Friday just as depression was really starting to rear its ugly head, I got a phone call from a close friend who wanted to know if I was okay. Later that same day, I had one of my customers (who is also a friend) take me aside to show his concern. That same evening, I received three separate text messages from three friends asking about me, saying they missed me… and the message became very clear… How can I complain about anything when I have such great friends!

I woke up really early the next morning and as I thought about how lucky I am to have such great friends, I suddenly had an idea. I can’t walk and I can’t run, but maybe (because it allows me to sit down) I can ride my bike? Sure enough I took off on my old black beach Cruiser and it didn’t hurt a bit. It was a beautiful morning as I peddled down Beach Road by my house and even though the sun was barely up, there were groups of people already spreading their gear out along the warm sand by the water. The longer I rode the better I felt, and the better I felt the more I noticed what a beautiful world we live in.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been stuck inside too much lately. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been focusing on my own problems too much lately, but whatever the reason the ocean looked bluer than I have ever seen it, the flowers were blooming brighter than ever and displaying every color imaginable, the birds were singing, the seagulls were clacking and people all around me were laughing and smiling. I stopped for a moment, took in a deep breath to smell the crisp ocean air and realized that I hadn’t felt any pain for the last 30 minutes. No, I wasn’t experiencing a sudden miraculous cure, I was simply experiencing the miracle that is this beautiful world that God created for us. When I stopped focusing on my own problems and opened my eyes wide enough to see all the beauty that exists around me, I experienced a joy that superseded everything else. I guess you could say that when I stopped looking only at myself and my own problems, I could see through the eyes of my heart, that this world is filled with wonder and beauty, including the love of good friends!

Open the eyes of my heart Lord, open the eyes of my heart. 

I want to see You. I want to see You.

~ Michael W. Smith 

The Frying Pan and the Fire

Sometimes my wife calls me a perfectionist and sometimes she is right. While it’s not necessarily a bad thing to try to do everything really well, it’s far more important for me to recognize that I am never going to be perfect and that I do make mistakes and unfortunately I do commit sins. I hate it when I mess up and I try not to…but sometimes when I make a small mistake, I compound it and it feels like I’m going from the frying pan into the fire! Considering it was 106 degrees when I “messed up” last week, that’s probably a pretty appropriate feeling.

The sin I committed was getting angry and losing my temper when I shouldn’t have. Although I would like to think it was a small sin, I have a feeling that sins are not measured on a scale of 1-10. You either sin or you don’t and there’s no in-between. My father was instrumental in teaching me right from wrong and he taught me that any sin, even the sin of omission, or complacency, is wrong. But he also taught me the value of forgiveness.

It was a lesson I learned when I was about 8 years old. Both of my parents were smokers back then so there were always matches laying around the house. I was a good kid, polite and well-mannered and would never hurt a flea, but I was also extremely curious and those matches were really tempting. Believe it or not I poured some gasoline from the garage into a small soup can, grabbed the matches and went out behind the back yard fence to feed my curiosity. Within a matter of minutes, I managed to spill the fired up can of flames and had to run screaming to my Dad that the fence was on fire! He was furious at first but after he saw that I was okay, he grabbed the hose and put out the fire. Then he slowly turned and marched me to my bedroom.

We sat on the bed and had a long talk about the dangers of playing with fire. He reminded me that he was going to be deployed overseas soon, for a very long time, and that I had to step up and become the man of the house. I could see it in his eyes and by the way he spoke that he was way more serious than usual, which scared me. But looking back now I realize my Dad was scared too, scared because he would soon have to leave a wife and two young children behind to struggle on their own. I truly respected my Dad and loved him intensely, so I felt terrible about what I did. Which makes what happened next a real surprise. After making me promise to never do it again, he forgave me. He should have spanked me, grounded me or at least put me up for adoption, but he didn’t. He hugged me, told me how much he loved me and that he was counting on me. I will never forget the love and compassion I saw in his eyes that day. It was a lesson in forgiveness that I will never forget. In fact, the next time I start to get angry and go from the frying pan into the fire, I will remember the lessons of love and forgiveness that my earthly father…and my heavenly Father… have both shown me by their examples. 

Lieutenant Allen B. Thrailkill, USMC (circa 1963)

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

~ Paul Boese 

Happiness Multiplied (By Debby Thrailkill)

While out for a walk this morning I thought about a meeting I will attend this evening. I'll be representing the South County Outreach to a women's club, a social group that gathers monthly with a different agenda each time. Sometimes the group learns about charitable causes and others times they just share a fun activity. Whether gathering food for the needy or simply enjoying fine wine, these women build bonds that are meaningful and lasting as they share their experiences. Outside the group setting, these ladies grow to support each other whenever needed out of love for their friends. Taking time to join a group can change your life.

One example. My mother in law is a vibrant, beautiful woman who loves life, loves to make new friends and constantly shares herself with others. She has a bunko club (picture ladies with slippery dice and tasty drinks), a group of retired candy factory coworkers who lunch together every month and a big family that always loves to gather near her. Until recently she also had her Curves group, which is ladies who work out together. At 82 her regular gatherings with others who have similar interests brings her much joy. It's effort on her part to keep these relationships going, but she absolutely loves it. She constantly offers up her home and meals and she participates in lively conversation and projects that always bring joy to others.

Another example. A friend of mine works tirelessly to raise funds and awareness for nonprofits throughout our community. An important job, he meets with groups of all sizes weekly. He wears a three-piece suit, exudes sincerity, and has a heart of gold. Outside of work he involves himself in all sorts of worldly ventures. He travels to Paris with family and friends, is writing a novel, and also represents a line of wood baseball bats, a passion that involves him with groups of young college athletes and fellow ball players throughout the country. My outgoing and renaissance friend brings his energy, enthusiasm and passion for life to each group he encounters, yet in his thoughts at the end of each day he thanks God for the friends he has been blessed with.

Participating with a group takes effort but can be absolutely rewarding! I recently signed up to join Monica Mehren Thompson's "Pay it Forward" giving group. I read about this group online and gave Monica a call. I was looking forward to meeting new friends and finding new ways to share my blessings. Monica was excited to welcome me to the group and reminded me that in joining the group I would be bringing value to them as well.

Sharing my life with my husband, family and good friends brings me unequaled joy. Sharing enhances life, and it works both ways. Share a meal, share a story, share your faith and do it often. Your happiness will multiply!

Instead of a gem or a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought

into the heart of a friend. That would be giving as the angels give. 

~ George MacDonald 

Double Vision

In my last Monday Message, I wrote about how I’ve been going through some really tough times lately. Well, I wish I could report that things have gotten better, but actually things have gotten a lot worse, including having to make a 911 call two days ago to have my Mom rushed to the Hospital. What’s that quote from Mother Theresa, “I know God won’t give us more than we can handle, I just wish he didn’t trust me so much!” Well, I guess that pretty much sums up how I’m feeling at the moment!

However, I’ve always been a positive person so I keep trying to focus on the positive and be thankful for the blessings I do have. And while doing that, it occurred to me that one of the greatest blessings a man can have is a wife who loves him and supports him… even in the darkest moments. (By the way, if I am so great at “lighting”, then I probably shouldn’t be having any dark moments... right? Sorry…that’s a little “lighting” humor, but at least I can still laugh.)

Anyway, I consider my relationship with my wife to be extremely special for many reasons. But it’s also a bit unique in that we realized very early in our relationship what a great friendship we had. So when it blossomed into love, we decided we would always be together and try our hardest to never be apart. For more than 20 years now we’ve lived together, worked together, vacationed together and driven everywhere together. In fact, we only have one car so we have no choice but to be “creative carpoolers”. Over all these years we have only been apart three times overnight and that was only because of emergencies involving our children. I keep thinking she is going to get sick of me, and she should definitely get sick of me, but apparently she never does. So lucky me!

So as I was lying in bed last night considering whether to have a pity party for myself or not, I glanced over at my wife and realized something I had never thought of before. I realized we should call ourselves “Double Vision”. What I mean is…When you have someone to share your ups and downs, the good times and the bad times, the Hawaii vacations and the ambulance rides to the hospital, the birth of a child and the death of a parent, it doubles your view of all aspects of life. So in the good times you have someone to laugh and smile with and in the bad times you have someone to hold and cry with. I have always had a vision of what I wanted my life to look like, I just never realized that it would be so much clearer with “Double Vision”.

The only thing worse than being blind 

is having sight with no vision.

~ Helen Keller 

No Worries

I have been going through a really difficult time the last few months.  I know life is always going to have its ups and downs, but for some reason I seem to be stuck in a bottom of a really deep valley at the moment. A lot of bad things have been happening in my life lately including serious health issues affecting my mom, my wife and one of my children. I also discovered a serious financial problem affecting my mom that was created by one of our relatives. I have also had some really difficult situations to handle at work and just to add salt to the wound, I injured my back worse than ever last week and now I need physical therapy.

So, it would be easy to whine and complain and feel sorry for myself. (And sometimes I do find myself doing that just a little bit.) But I know that if I decide to worry, it will just make everything worse. The word worry comes from a word that means “to divide”. So if I worry... I am actually dividing my energy which leaves me feeling drained and a whole lot worse overall.

So this morning I wrote out a list of the six major problems I am facing at the moment. Then I tried to find a positive take for each problem. It wasn’t easy to find the positive side of each problem, but I focused my energy and thoughts and was actually able to write out something positive for every single one. I didn’t necessarily solve each problem, but I did put each one in the proper perspective.

After doing this exercise I felt a lot better and a lot stronger. I think I discovered that focusing on finding the positive side of a problem is way better than worrying about it, because when we worry about a problem, the problem gets us instead of us getting it.

The other thing I did was to take a moment to pray about the problems. But I took a new approach, a little different than usual. I didn’t ask God to solve my problems, I simply thanked him for all the “positive things” I came up with and for always working in my best interest, whether I understand it or not. I am not naive so I know my current run of bad luck may not be over, and there may be even more problems on my horizon. But I now know that truly focusing on the positive and being thankful for the good things in my life will help me to put my fears aside and have the courage to climb out of a valley, no matter how deep it is.  

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid; 

for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. 

He will never leave you nor forsake you.

~ Deuteronomy 31:6 

And That Got Me Thinking

Last week I had someone comment on my last name, Thrailkill. It’s an unusual name so I get a lot of comments about it, so I have often wondered what it’s all about. Obviously I didn’t get to pick my last name and I actually don’t know much about it, but I’ve been told that it originated in Wales.

And that got me thinking…I also don’t know much about Wales except that the stones that were used to build Stonehenge came from Wales back around 2400 BC.

And that got me thinking…I don’t know much about Stonehenge either, except that it can be used to predict the Summer Solstice, which is the longest day of the year.

And that got me thinking…Hey, Summer Solstice is today, June 20^th, 2016!

At dawn in the summer solstice around 2400 BC, the rays of the sun would shine
straight through the "slaughter stones" to exactly strike the "altar stone" in the center

Nobody really knows why Stonehenge was designed to catch the sun’s rays so perfectly on the dawn of the Summer Solstice day, so it remains a mystery. But there are a lot of theories about it revolving around the importance of sunlight, and how light in general represents good while darkness represents bad. So it obviously had something to do with light.

And that got me thinking…I myself have worked with light (in the lighting industry) for a really long time (42 years and counting) and I truly believe it has been a major blessing for myself and my family.

So there you go… I just solved the mystery of why someone named Thrailkill would labor for so long to provide perfect lighting for so many people… because light is good!  

And God said, “Let there be light, and there was light. 

And God saw that the light was good.

~ Genesis 1:3 

Always There

My youngest son has been living in Florida for the past four years. The last time I saw him was two years ago when he came out to California for a brief visit. Since that time it has been really hard to reach him, his phone calls have dropped off and it was becoming obvious he was once again having some serious problems in his life, primarily with alcohol and depression. Then I got a phone call from his girlfriend telling me he had been hospitalized in very serious condition.

As a Father my heart went out to him and I wanted to fly to Florida immediately. But my work schedule and family obligations here at home with my wife and other children made me hesitate. I also hesitated because I knew this was a serious problem that I wouldn’t be able to solve with a hug or some fatherly words of advice. So I went out back and sat down for a minute to pray about it. When I was done, I still didn’t know what to do, but it felt good to unload my worries to God and know He was listening… and that He is always there for me.

Later that day, I told my wife I had made the decision to fly to Florida. She immediately set me up with an airline ticket, rental car and a Hotel room, and a loving supportive hug. I was only in Florida for 2 ½ days but from the moment I saw my son until the moment I left, I knew I had made the right decision. His problems are huge but so is our love for each other. We talked for hours about little things, big things, good times we had in the past and good times yet to come. When it came time for me to leave he hugged me and wouldn’t let go. He kept saying, “I love you Dad” and kept fighting back tears as I repeated back to him, “I love you too.”

It was late in the evening and really dark as I drove back to my Hotel. When I got there I packed my bag because I had an early 7am flight the next morning. I set the alarm on my phone and then sat my watch, bracelet and phone on the nightstand. I had trouble falling asleep but at some point I woke up, glanced over at my watch and saw that my alarm never went off and it was already 6am! My heart started pounding like crazy because I knew I would never make my flight. I grabbed my watch and phone, threw on my clothes, flew down three flights of stairs, jumped in my car and raced to the airport. I was in such a panic I missed the on ramp to the freeway and had to make an illegal U-turn. As I clutched the steering wheel and sped down the freeway I noticed my black rubber bracelet (the one that has “I Am Second” on it to remind me to put God first) was missing from my arm. In my panic and because the room was dark, I didn’t see it and forgot to put it on.

When I got to the Rental Car return area, I threw my keys at the attendant and yelled, “Which way to Terminal One?” He gave me directions for a short cut down an “employees only” staircase. But when I got to the security check-in area, my phone wouldn’t pick up Wi-Fi, so I couldn’t show my boarding pass. The TSA Agent wouldn’t let me through, so I had to run upstairs to the ticket window, get a printed out boarding pass, and then race back down to the security line. I finally made it onto the plane with only one minute to spare.

As I sat down in my seat and tried to catch my breath, I couldn’t believe I had made it onto the flight. I decided to say a quick prayer of thanks, not just for making the flight, but more importantly for the fact that God had gone with me to Florida… and was always there with me every step of the way. As I stared down at my folded hands, all of a sudden I noticed that my black rubber bracelet was back on my arm. How did that happen! I thought about it and I’m positive I didn’t have it on in the car because I distinctly remember looking down at my right arm and it wasn’t there. So how in the heck did it suddenly re-appear on my arm?

I know what you’re thinking… That crazy Joe was in a panic and he probably just didn’t see it, so that bracelet was probably always there. Right? Maybe. But one thing I know for sure… God is always there!

Peace on the outside comes from knowing God on the inside.

~ Anonymous