A Bump in The Road

Thanksgiving is coming up and it’s always been one of my favorite holidays. We have a huge family and even when I was just a kid I looked forward to having a house filled with people and an oven filled with a big turkey. I remember always having a lot be thankful for, except for this one time…

In November of 1970 I was 15 years old and loved riding dirt bikes. I would ride my Yamaha all over the hills around our house and then on Saturday night my friends and I would go to Elsinore Race Track to compete for trophies. I worked my way up the ranks from novice, to amateur and finally to expert class and although I was fairly small at that age, I was totally unafraid to go fast and absolutely loved racing.

One Friday afternoon my friend, Bill Anderson and I, were practicing about 20 miles outside of town in a remote area called DeLuz Canyon. It was late in the day and we were blasting down a rocky fire road at full speed. Bill was in front and kicking up a lot of dust so I never saw the huge rock embedded in the road. I hit that rock head on and my motorcycle somersaulted forward throwing me to the ground. Less than a second later my motorcycle landed directly on top of me tearing a gaping hole in my right side. When I finally skidded to a stop all I could think was, “I hope my motorcycle is okay!”

Bill came back and found me lying in a bloody heap. All I was wearing that day were jeans, a T-shirt and a helmet so the skin was gone from both of my shoulder blades, my right arm was broken, and just above my right hip was a huge gash that was pouring out more blood than I had ever seen. Bill’s face turned white. He knew there was no way I could ride on the back of his bike. He took off my helmet, or what was left of it, because the front piece of the full coverage helmet was completely missing. I remember him saying, “You should be glad you had your helmet on because it definitely saved your life.”  

And then a miracle happened. A man came around the corner on horseback. I recognized him as a customer that came into the gas station where Bill and I worked. I couldn’t remember his name at the time but he saw our desperate situation and offered to help. He gave Bill the keys to his truck and explained how to get to his house which was only a mile away. Bill took off while the man stayed with me and when Bill got back with the truck they lifted me in and the three of us took off for the nearest hospital.

I was in the hospital for five days but got to go home right before Thanksgiving. I know we’re supposed to be thankful at Thanksgiving time, but I was miserable. My motorcycle was totaled, my right knee had 18 stitches in it, my side had 38 stitches in it and my arm was broken. To make matters worse, every time I moved the cast on my right arm would bang into my side and tear open the stitches. I wasn’t thankful about anything and I’m pretty sure I was making everyone around me miserable too. But then I got a phone call from Bill who said he was going to stop by to cheer me up. It was dark and cold when he got to my house but I was glad to see him. We talked for a long time, mostly about motorcycles, and when he got ready to leave I noticed he didn’t have a helmet with him. I told him he could borrow my busted up helmet and although it wouldn’t offer much protection, at least it would keep his head warm.

Bill never made it home that night. On his way home he took a turn too fast and flew his motorcycle down into a steep ravine. He hit a rock on the way down that shattered his leg and the only reason he finally stopped was because he smashed head first into a tree. With a broken leg and a broken collar bone, he couldn’t make it back up to the street. He laid in that ravine all night thinking he was probably going to die, but fortunately another miracle happened. Two migrant farm workers heard his cries for help the next morning as they were walking to work.

Bill called me on Thanksgiving morning and gave me the news about his accident. I was shocked and bummed out to hear about his accident, but although he was still in the hospital, he didn’t sound miserable at all. In fact, I was surprised by how happy he sounded. He told me that he found it incredible that one helmet could save two lives in less than one week. He also told me that he was happy because he was so super thankful to be alive. Bill’s positive attitude and cheerful disposition made me realize that I had been looking at things all wrong. Life may present us with a bump in the road from time to time, but if we still have life, then we still have a lot to be thankful for! 

All that we behold is full of blessings.

~ William Wordsworth 

In Abundance

My wife and I went to visit friends in San Diego over the weekend and stayed overnight in their beautiful home. It’s a huge Tuscan Italian style house with a long winding driveway that leads to a magnificent porte-cochere and when you enter the ceilings are over 20’ high. Everywhere you look their home is filled is gorgeous furniture and furnishings, not the least of which is the fully stocked kitchen with state of the art appliances, a dream kitchen for someone like my wife who loves to cook.

I mention this because my wife and I used to own a similar style Tuscan home in Coto de Caza. All the way home I kept thinking about the big beautiful house we use to have compared to the tiny beach cottage we live in now and I found myself feeling guilty that I am not providing a nicer home and nicer furnishings for my wife. I am not saying that I don’t love our beach cottage…I mean it is right on the sand…but sometimes as a man, I just find myself wanting to be the best possible provider that I can be.

And that got me thinking…

If I made a list of the five finest possessions I used to have - it would include a really nice home with a gourmet kitchen, a pool, an expensive BMW, a boat and a grand piano. If I made a list of the five possessions I have now - it would include a couch, a TV, a bed and a late model Ford Truck, that’s it. Oh yeah…and my golf clubs. Not a very impressive list for sure.

But what if I made a list of the five things God has abundantly given me. Love, Forgiveness, Mercy, Happiness and Everlasting Life. Now that’s an impressive list! And here’s the cool part. All that stuff, all those possessions we think we want to have and work so hard to get, we never really have, because none of it really belongs to us and we certainly can’t take any of it with us when we die. However, all the stuff God gives us, He gives us at birth…free of charge…and we totally get to take it with us when we go. Now that’s really cool!

I’m not saying it’s bad to want material things and work hard to have them. Been there, done that. But I guess what I started realizing as I fought through traffic to get back to my tiny little beach house last night, is that if I want to be the best possible “provider” for my wife, kids, family and friends, then what I need to give them are not things. What I need to give them are my love, forgiveness, patience, help and support…and do so in abundance!

Debby and I on the front porch of our Coto house in 2012

You give but little when you give of your possessions. 

It is when you give of yourself, that you truly give.

 ~ Kahlil Gibran

Inspiration and Perspiration

I played in my final baseball game of the year yesterday. It was an annual charity event at Angel Stadium and although our Halo Baseball Club Team lost, it was still exciting and fun because we raised money for several charities thanks to awesome support we received from Dennis Kuhl, Chairman of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

Dennis started this event 8 years ago to honor his father, Bud Kuhl, and I am certain his father was smiling down on him yesterday for so many reasons. Dennis and I are friends and I know he misses his Dad every day because his Dad was a real inspiration to him. I feel the same way about my Dad and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him and strive to become a better man because of what he taught me. Isn’t it funny that no matter how old we get, if we had a Mom or a Dad that really inspired us, we still want to do our best to please them.

When we have a really awesome parent (or two) it can make a huge difference in our lives. Even to have just one parent that is truly loving, caring and inspirational is a blessing. I know we don’t get to pick our parents, so that is why when we’re blessed with a loving parent we need to make sure we honor them in every way. That led me to an interesting question.

We can’t pick our parents but we can pick our friends and our friends have a ton of influence on our lives, so shouldn’t we be careful when it comes to picking our friends? The people we associate with, have dinner with, or play sports with are people that we choose to make a part of our lives. When we choose our friends it shouldn’t be quick and easy. We should work hard at it, sweat over it, and be patient to find people who impress us, inspire us and motivate us to grow in character and integrity. When I look back at my life, I can see that there were times as a young man that some of my lazy choices for friends were questionable (and so were they) and that ended up getting me into trouble. Looking at my list of friends now though, I can see that I have been doing a much better job of picking because my current list includes dozens of people that consistently inspire me to be a better man.

Obviously one way we can honor our parents is to be the best people we can be. But becoming our best…works best…when we surround ourselves with the best!

Bud Kuhl Wood Bat Invitational - Angel Stadium - Nov 7th, 2015

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.

~ Charles R. Swindoll

Response Time

Last week I played in the MSBL World Series in Phoenix and all I can say is that it was one heck of a rollercoaster ride. Last year was my first time playing in this event and instead of my regular team, I played with the South Bay Zehpyrs out of Long Beach. Last year could not have gone any better because although I’ve never been anything more than just an average player, for some reason my batting was off the charts, and I was able to contribute to our team winning every single game including a come from behind win the Championship. So I wasn’t sure what to expect this year.

But the best thing about this year was getting to play with my regular Halo Baseball Team, an awesome group of guys that define the true meaning of friendship. I was a little nervous before the first game because the WS is the toughest tournament you can possibly play in and I didn’t want to let my friends down. I was also nervous because last year I only played defense about half the time, but this year our new Manager told me I would be the starting second baseman. So I committed myself to playing the best second base I possibly could, shook off the nerves, and took my position in the field.

We lost our first game but I thought I played well getting 2 hits, 2 RBI’s and scoring 2 runs. I also felt my defense was solid because I turned two double plays, made three ground ball plays and fielded a tough pop up behind first base. However, I did make one throwing error late in the game. The next morning as I entered the dugout I noticed my name was no longer in the starting defensive lineup. I hate to admit it but I was shocked. Our team made 5 errors that first game, so we all contributed to the loss, but I was the only defensive starter who was now sitting on the bench. Our Manager never spoke to me about it or explained his decision or said a word to me. He just took my name off the list. Unfortunately, I got angry about it and ended up striking out my next two at bats. And oh yeah…we lost that second game too.

That evening when I got back to my Hotel room I contacted a friend who played with me last year. I needed someone to talk to because I was totally bummed out. I told Danny what happened and he told me exactly what I needed to hear. He basically said, “You can’t control what someone else does but you can control how you respond to it. Don’t let the Manager bring you down or change who you are. Besides, one of your best attributes is your positive attitude and the way you help everyone around you become a better player with your praise and support. Whether you’re on the bench or in the field you need to focus on helping your teammates do well, because that’s what you do best!” 

Those words of advice really hit home with me and I realized that getting angry was only hurting me and the rest of the team. I immediately changed my attitude and went back to being upbeat and positive…and guess what…the Manager put me back in and we won the next 5 games in a row, making it all the way to the Semi-Final Game! I guess Danny was right, in the game of baseball or in the game of life, we can’t control what happens to us…but we can definitely control how we respond to it!
 

Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated.

~ Anonymous

 

Sand Bags & Bumpy Roads

Have you ever had a really bad day? What about a really bad week! I am not complaining because I expect there to be some bumps in the road, but last week it seemed like I was driving down a bumpy dirt road filled with cavernous craters just waiting to bounce me to bits.

Early last week I was at work when I got a frightened phone call from my wife. She had our sliding glass doors open to the beach when all of a sudden a rogue wave engulfed our patio and blew through our living room, kitchen and hallway, filling our home with saltwater, sand, and seaweed. When I rushed home I couldn’t believe the damage. Our heavy beach furniture was tossed through 30’ through the air and our big propane BBQ was knocked 20’ across the patio. It would take me days to clean up the mess.

Two days later I had to rush my wife to the ER due to breathing issues. The doctors at Mission Hospital were great (she has had multiple lung surgeries there) and after giving her breathing treatments and medicine for bronchitis, we were back home the same day, exhausted but glad to be home.

Three days after that I was with a customer in Fountain Valley when I got another scary phone call. My wife had taken a severe turn for the worse and was being taken by ambulance to Mission Hospital. I drove so fast I actually beat the ambulance to the hospital. After several hours and great care from a skilled pulmonologist, I was able to take her home once again.

Throughout the week I was also dealing with some really difficult issues at work. So all things considered it was a pretty rough week and I found myself getting more than just a little depressed.

So when the weekend came I decided I needed some exercise. I would kill two birds with one stone by building a “Sand Bag Seawall” to protect our beach from further erosion (and our home from becoming a swimming pool). I bought 20 concrete bricks to form a base and about 200 sand bags to build the seawall and then went to work filling them one by one. As I filled each bag I thought about both the good things and the bad things going on in my life. It dawned on me that there were a lot more good things than bad things, especially in the area of family and friends. The more I shoveled the more I thought about how many times in my life I have faced a difficult situation, only to have a friend step up to help me out. I realized I am incredibly blessed to have so many great friends and a thought occurred to me, “Why not let each sand bag represent a friend in my life, by placing that person’s name on each bag.” What a cool way to remind myself that building friendships is one of the best ways to smooth out the bumps in life.

 

             I haven’t completed the project yet because I still have 50 more sand bags to fill.

But once I’m done I’m going to write a name on each sand bag as a tribute to my awesome friends!

 

A true friend never gets in your way

unless you happen to be going down.

~ Arnold Glasow

 

 

 

No Phone Zone

We all live in a very busy and very loud electronic world and my life is no exception. The majority of the time I am at my office I’m either on my phone or have my head buried in my computer. I always have a ton of voice mails to listen to, emails to answer, quotes to prepare and reports to write. But I also have a steady stream of employees stopping by to ask questions and seek my help.

So it’s hard to suddenly stop working when somebody walks in. But I realized several years ago that if I don’t stop, focus and listen, I’m not going to be able to truly help anyone. Besides it’s a sign of respect and caring to put down your phone or turn away from the monitor and focus on the living breathing human being in front of you.

Speaking of phones, I checked with Siri and found out that 6.97 billion people currently own an electronic cell phone. How crazy is that! And I am pretty sure that 6.96 billion of them are constantly on their phone all day long. Cell phones are now a major fact of life and they have truly changed the way we live our lives in both good and bad ways. But I am hoping that we don’t forget how to communicate face to face, and how important that personal connection is. If that happens, heaven help us!

Speaking of heaven, maybe we need to look to God for an example. I am pretty sure that every time I speak with Him, He is focused and listening (and not on His new I-Phone 7 that Saint Peter bought Him). I know He listens to the painful plea of the elderly in the rest home, the gruff confessions of the prisoners in the OC Men’s Jail, the young mother with an infant in the ER at Mission Hospital, the alcoholic who steps off the street and into a church for the first time. To all of them…God listens. So maybe heaven is the one…and perhaps only…“No Phone Zone” left.

We shall one day navigate the air as we do the sea, 
rain will be made to pour out on the desert, 

bread shall be made from stones in the street, 
the man of a hundred years shall yet be in his prime, 

and men will take a little instrument from their waistcoat pocket 
and communicate with a friend a hundred miles away, 
without wires, as if face to face.

~ James Gillingham, circa 1901

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Wrinkles

Last week I had the worst day of my life! Okay, maybe it wasn’t the absolute worst day ever, but it did cause me some pain and it forced me to stop and think about where I am in my life.

I stopped to make a sales call on a large contracting firm and see a friend of mine who works there named Benny. When I walked into the main lobby there was no receptionist, so I waited a while and then peaked down the hallway where I saw a young man walking by. I asked him if Benny was available and he said he would get him for me. When Benny came up to the lobby he was laughing and I asked him why. He said, “They told me some ‘Old Guy’ was out front looking for me”. I had to wait for him to stop laughing, which took a while, but finally I shook my head and said, “Wow, I guess I am an ‘Old Guy’ to some people, but I’ve never really thought about myself that way…until now.”

On the way home that night I felt really demoralized. Yes, I know that I’m 60 and I have a few wrinkles, so I definitely qualify as old. But inside my head I still feel like I’m 35. So when I went home that night and looked in the mirror I discovered by golly, that guy was right! I am physically old on the exterior. It was kind of shock but it got me thinking… Can there be anything good about getting older?

- When I was young I was always in hurry and not very patient with people. Now…I’m much more patient and forgiving.

- When I was young I wanted so many material things, cars, boats, houses. Now…I am happy renting a small house and only owning a single Ford truck.

- When I was young I had a temper and would let things get to me. Now…I am much calmer and can usually let things roll right off my back.

- When I was young I wanted to own my own company and be really successful. Now…I own my own company but it’s far more important to help my employees become successful.

- When I was young I was always asking God for His help. Now that I’m older…I am always thanking God for His help.

I am not sure I will ever achieve all the goals I set for myself as a young man. But if one of my main goals was to find happiness, then aging is something I need to be thankful for…because I might have wrinkles on the outside, but a lot of the wrinkles on the inside…have now disappeared!

Father Time

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

~ Mark Twain