All Is Not Lost

I once heard a famous psychologist on the radio say, “Hope is simply delayed disappointment”.  I am not a psychologist, but I respectfully disagree. Furthermore, I believe that hope is a form of optimism that is better defined as,  “A desire for a certain thing to happen”. And it’s that desire… that often leads to action… which can then often lead to the desired result. Here are two examples.

Several weeks ago, my wife got a call from our youngest daughter. She was in a panic because she was at the San Diego Zoo and somehow the diamond in her wedding ring broke off and was missing. I heard my wife say, “Don’t give up hope, maybe you will find it.” Not likely in such a crowded place packed with strangers. But my daughter never gave up hope, and sure enough a stranger found the diamond and turned it into the lost and found. (Now there’s a miracle!)

That very same weekend, my wife and I also found ourselves searching and struggling, hoping to find a lost ring. My wife’s wedding ring! We had just returned from a long vacation in Kauai. But before we left, my wife decided not to take her ring and possibly lose it while swimming. So she asked me to hide it somewhere in our house. Being a man, I of course hid it in the garage. Weeks later, upon catching a late flight home and arriving around 1:30 in the morning, my wife immediately asked me to go get her wedding ring. I went to the garage, got the ring, and gave it to her. Or… at least I thought I did. We were both so tired, I’m not sure what I did.

The next day, Saturday morning, she asked me about the ring. I explained, “I think I went downstairs and got it for you last night.” She looked at me and said, “Okay, so where is it?” Uh oh! My only thought was, I sure hope I can find it! I started with the garage and checked it thoroughly. Then I checked our closet, nightstands, dressers, bathroom and even the kitchen. I I hate to say it, but I started to lose hope.

On Sunday, I prayed. I prayed for help because I didn’t want to be the stupid loser husband who hides his wife’s wedding ring and then can’t find it. Sure enough, God answered me right away. I think He said something like, “Well, I sure hope you find it because I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes if you don’t!” (Gotta love God’s sense of humor!)

Sunday morning I decided it had to be in the master bedroom closet. I took every single thing, including the clothing out of the closet. I even searched the pockets of every item of clothing. When my wife came upstairs, she immediately saw the disappointment in my face. “No luck?” I just shook my head and felt hopeless. Then she asked, what about the metal box where we keep important papers? I answered, “That was one of the first things I checked yesterday. But since I was running out of ideas as fast as I was running out of hope, I decided to check it one more time. All is not lost!

Hope is the thing with feathers –

That perches in the soul –

And sings the tune without the words –

And never stops at all…

                                                                    ~ Emily Dickinson                                                  

Just A Moment

I had cataract surgery recently and it didn’t go as planned. The follow up treatments were painful and took forever and although my right eye is really good, my left eye will never have 20/20 vision due to optic nerve damage. But don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled with my vision because being blind would be so difficult. And yet there are times when I am, unfortunately, totally blind.  

My wife’s Charity, called “Project Foster”, finally moved out of our garage and into a real office building in San Juan Capistrano. For weeks now we have been erecting shelving, organizing the office, and moving hundreds of bins of clothing and hygiene products for children into the building. We are close to being done and last week I loaded the last stack of cardboard into my truck and drove it over to the nearby dumpster.

When I pulled around the corner, the large steel door to the dumpster area was already open. It was open because there was someone in there pulling out aluminum cans. She was a tiny little thing, less than 5’ tall, and totally bundled up in a heavy old coat with a tattered scarf over her head. All I could really see were her big brown eyes. She wasn’t young by any means, and yet I bet a hard life had added years to her that she probably didn’t deserve.

In my broken Spanish, I said, “Disculpeme un momento” (excuse me for a moment). She didn’t utter a word, just backed out and stood to the side with her head down. I didn’t want to make things any harder for her, so I flattened out the boxes and shoved them to the very back of the dumpster, which I figured was a good thing to do. Then I drove away, which was a bad thing to do.

As soon as I got on the freeway, I thought to myself, “You are such a jerk!” I could have easily handed that little old lady a $20 bill and I’m sure it would have made her day. Why didn’t I think of that… or why didn’t I at least make the effort to say something to her, to truly look at her, look into those sad brown eyes and say something nice. There was so much I could have done, so much to see right in front of me, but I was blind.

Yes, I looked at her. But in reality, I looked right through her because my mind was on other things. It would have only taken a moment, just a moment, to show kindness. It won’t happen again, and you know why? Because I am going to remember that there is something amazing about taking the time to truly “see” a person.

You know who could use some kindness right now? Probably everyone.

                                                               ~ Dr. Sun Wolf