Better Days

I messed up last week and had a bad day. And it’s not the first time.

It started when I was just a little kid playing with matches. I told my Dad a lie, that it wasn’t me. It felt bad to lie to my Dad, but I was scared and didn’t want him to be mad at me.

As I grew to become a teenager, my sins grew as well. One time, I “borrowed” the neighbor’s jeep when he was on vacation and took it for a quick joy ride. He noticed it had been driven, said something to my Dad about it, but I never confessed. My Dad was a good man, my neighbor was a good man. But I was not a man yet. And that wasn’t the only thing I did wrong as a teenager.

When I finally became a man, with a wife and child, I changed a lot. And so did my sins. My mistakes were now wrapped around things like greed, lust, and jealousy. You know, adult type sins. Bigger sins. Sins that at times, made me very ashamed of myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been what you would consider a bad person. I never intentionally hurt anyone, or stole from anyone, or tried to cause anybody a problem. In fact, I went out of my way to be generous and help others with my time, money, and energy. Still do. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t mess up then and that I don’t mess up now. And when I do, I always think back and ask myself, “Why did I do that?” Knowing the answer to that question is extremely important.

I found the answer to that question one day when I was still in my thirties. I’ll never forget that day, nor the sin that I committed. I was super upset at myself, super sad, and feeling completely alone. So I went for a walk, a very long walk, until I finally sat down on a huge rock on the side of the road. I was in a lot of pain. I felt lost and couldn’t stop crying. I felt so totally alone, but then I remembered what the pastor at our church told us, “We are never truly alone.” So I bowed my head, confessed my sin, and asked for forgiveness. I also prayed for the wisdom and strength to avoid that type of mistake again. It felt good to confess and to admit the reason I messed up. I realized that day that knowing why we make mistakes is the first step to avoiding them. I also realized that I don’t need to be scared that He will be mad at me. The very next day… was a much better day!

And you asked me what I want this year

And I’ll try to make this kind and clear

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
Tonight's the night the world begins again.

~ from the song "Better Days" by the Goo Goo Dolls

LIFE LESSON NUMBER ONE

My two grandchildren who live in Spokane, WA, have been staying with us for the past two weeks as part of their summer vacation. They are 11 and 14, which are fun ages, and just to prove it… we have already been to Wild Rivers, Laser Tag, Disneyland, and of course “In-And-Out” Burger multiple times. My wallet might be empty, but my stomach sure is full! 

We’ve had a lot of fun and we’ve talked a ton, and I have to say that I’ve learned a few things from both of them. For example I now know more about Taylor Swift than I ever thought possible, and I learned that the wrong type of mouse when you are gaming can make you less than swift. But as I learned things from them, I also pondered what can I teach them in return? What one important life lesson could I share with them that might help them the most as they grow into adults and get hit by raging real world reality?

Yesterday, my grandson and I were talking about baseball, and he asked to see my MSBL World Series Ring. I said, “Sure”, happy to show off that big shiny ring and regale him with stories about the thrill of victory. However, I had to think about where it was. I hadn’t taken it out or looked at it for years, but when I finally found it in the bottom of my sock drawer, it gave me an idea for a truly important life lesson.

I had already shared with my grandson the story of my own personal baseball journey. How I sucked at it for 10 straight years until one day, when I made three errors and struck out three times in a row and said to myself… that’s the last time I’m gonna fail! I hired myself a coach, took a thousand ground balls, and hit baseballs until my hands bled, and eventually got good enough to be asked to join a select team of ballplayers headed to the MSBL World Series in Phoenix.

That’s a good life lesson in itself, that practice and hard work can lead to success. But that’s not the important lesson. The real lesson, the most important lesson that I learned from playing baseball, had to do with relationships, not RBI’s. I made friends on my baseball team who will be my friends for life. They picked me up when I was down, and I did the same for them. Many times we went home bleeding, but smiling, sharing a love for the game, and a love for each other. To this day, if any one of my baseball buddies called me and needed my help, I would be there for them faster than a four-seamer down the middle. To this day we still stay in touch, we still love baseball, and we still love each other. Rings can rust and trophies can get trashed, but a true friend is better than a “Double-Double with Animal Fries” any day!

Remember two things, play hard and have fun!

~ Tony Gwynn, Hall of Fame Baseball Player

Long Distance Connections

My wife and I were recently on vacation in South Lake Tahoe, and for the first time in months we were truly relaxing. The first morning I woke up at 5:24am and I realized I am not working - for a change - so my hands were empty. Instead of busy hands, I was staring out the window of a country style cabin with a gorgeous view of Lake Tahoe. The air was clear, the pine trees were tall, and the water was the brightest blue I have ever seen. It was so pretty there I couldn’t wait for my family to wake up and join me for a hike to a beautiful little hidden gem called Lake Angora. 

I felt blessed and happy because about half of my children and grandchildren were able to join up with us. My oldest daughter and her family drove up from Orange County. They have three children plus a new 20-month-old baby daughter who is absolutely overflowing with personality. And my oldest son and his wife and two awesome kids drove almost 900 miles from Spokane, Washington, to join us. We don’t get to see them very often, so we were excited to spend time with them. I mean, we call, and we text, and we facetime with them, but it’s not the same as actually spending time together. Being long distance from the people you love, and friends you care about, can make it hard to feel connected.  

So now that I am back home, I know I need to make the effort to stay in touch with my family and friends. Especially with my grandson who lives in Denver that I only get to see once or twice a year, and my other grandson who lives not too far away in Riverside, but I still don’t see him enough. I love them both and would love to spend more time with them, but I struggle to make that happen. I don’t want to lose my connection with them or my connection with my grandkids in Spokane, nor do I want to lose my connection with so many of my family and friends who have moved away. Why? Because when I think about it, being connected to people I care about brings me a lot of joy!

Not long ago, I wrote a Monday Message where I criticized people for being on their phones so much. But now that I think about it, I’m glad we can have our phones in our hands so that we can use them to talk to and feel connected to our loved ones. But I am also grateful that I don’t even need a phone to connect with God, I just need my two hands empty… clasped together.

Angora Lake

The strange thing about seeing someone for the first time in ten years, is the way they look totally different, just for a second, a split second, and then they look like they always have, as if no time has passed between you.

~ Rainbow Rowell