A Little Bit of Hangin

Can you believe that tomorrow marks the start of another new year! Hard to believe another year has gone by and as I reflect back on 2018, I have some questions for myself. Was I too busy to coach the team? To distracted to take a walk on the beach with my wife? To stressed to take the grandkids to the park? too focused on myself to notice the beautiful faces around me? It’s so easy to take people for granted, especially the ones we love.

Recently I read a book that included interesting stories about political figures. One story that caught my attention was about Abraham Lincoln. A mother of a soldier who was accused of treason, was begging the President to pardon her son. The boy was to be hanged but at the last minute, Lincoln granted the pardon. However, he left the mother with these parting words, “Still, I wish we could teach him a lesson. I wish we could give him just a little bit of hangin’”.

I think I know what old Honest Abe had in mind. When I was 29 years, I had a two-year-old baby boy. We were visiting our in-laws at their ranch house in Fallbrook, hanging out the pool enjoying a nice summer day. I was talking to a friend for just a moment, and when I turned around, I didn’t see my little boy anywhere. My heart stopped, but before I could even move, I saw a friend pulling the child from the pool, coughing, choking and spitting up a jacuzzi worth of water.

I was severely traumatized by what happened. For the rest of the day I held onto that baby as tightly as I could, wrapping my heart around his, and thanking God that I did not lose him. I recognize now that I had been taking him for granted and that if anything would have happened to him, it would have killed me. It truly was… a little bit of hangin’.

In my briefcase, I keep a picture of my wife and all four of our children. One of the pictures is of my youngest son, who is now fully grown. I have my arm wrapped around him with the ocean in the background. I keep that picture with me so I will remember what God doesn’t want me to forget, which is to cherish those I love. And you better believe I won’t forget it. I don’t want any more hangin’, not even a little bit!

The poison of the ordinary can deaden 

your senses to the magic of the moment.

~ Max Lucado

Invaluable

The Christmas season should be a time of joyful celebration, a time spent with family and friends, punctuated with delicious food and ever so sweet sweets. But for a lot of people, the holiday season can be a very stressful time filled with extra work and worry, too little time, and too little money.

I have a large family with four children and six grandchildren, so trust me I know about stress during the holiday season. My wife, bless her heart, always takes care of picking out the gifts so at least I don’t have that stress. But I still have to figure out where we’re going, how we’re going to get there, who we’re going to see, and when we’re going to see them. Not to mention dealing with certain relatives that are certainly not easy to deal with. And of course, paying for a bunch of gifts. However, that’s nothing compared to the stress of a single Mother I know who cleans homes for a living and can barely feed her 6 kids, let alone buy them presents. Or the sick friend I visited in the hospital on Saturday who will be there over Christmas and doesn’t even know when he will get out. Their stress levels are obviously a lot higher than mine.

But as I thought about all the reasons there are to be stressed out, it occurred to me that I actually stopped “stressing out” in 1988. Before that year, I had believed in God but kept him at a comfortable distance. I was a young man focused on his career, working crazy hours, and chasing crazy dreams albeit with slightly skewed priorities. Then the storm came; my health failed, my marriage went south, and my career started spiraling down the toilet. Career, status, titles… all of a sudden, they held no value. But it was at that moment, when I was at my lowest, that I realized what I really needed to value... my own personal relationship with God. Once I started trusting him and valuing him, he removed my stress and gave me the gift of inner peace and good will.

So this Christmas season as I shop for valuable gifts for my family, I won’t forget the most valuable gift I ever received… It’s the reason for the season!

"And there were shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flocks by night, and lo the angel of the lord came upon them and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid, and the angel said unto them, fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a savior who is Christ the Lord. And suddenly there was with the angels a multitude of the heavenly hosts, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth - peace, good will toward men."

I Now Know

The Christmas season is here and for the first time in decades, most of our family is going out of town. I’m not saying that I’m afraid we’re going to be lonely, but when you have a huge family with four children and six grandchildren and lots of in-laws, Christmas is usually a big, chaotic, fun-filled, awesome event. So maybe what I’m really afraid of… is that my wife will be lonely. (Hopefully not!)

The fear of not having my family around reminds me of my worst Christmas ever. When I was 19 years old I moved up to San Francisco and was attending UC Berkeley, working two part time jobs, and engaged to my High School sweetheart. I was in love and thought my future looked very bright. Then it happened. Winter came, the skies turned dark, the city got fogged in, and my fiancé dumped me (and of course she kept the ring) causing me to go into a deep dark personal fog. The cold wet weather combined with the pain of being depressed and lonely in an unfamiliar city, was more than I could handle.

So I packed up my meager belongings, loaded them into my crappy old Datsun pickup truck, and headed back home to San Diego where I had grown up. Only I never made it that far because I ran out of money by the time I hit the Orange County line. It was cold and raining that first night, which made me wonder if the weather had followed me from San Francisco or if that was just a permanent black cloud hanging over my head. Either way, I was miserable. To make things worse, the only place I could afford to stay was the cheap Ambassador Inn on Harbor Boulevard in Costa Mesa. Trust me, my meager belongings and crappy old truck fit right in with the rest of the derelicts.

I was beyond depressed. I basically had no money, no friends, and no job. But since it was Christmas time, I decided to buy a tiny Christmas tree for my motel room thinking it might cheer me up. It didn’t. In fact, the only thing sadder in that room than me, was that tiny little tree. I can vividly remember sitting on the edge of the bed, praying to God for help. With the fear welling up on the inside of me, and the tears welling up on the outside of me, I was positive that I was going to be alone forever!

Somehow, I made it through that night… and the next one. A week later I landed a job at a gas station, made a few friends and got on with my life. But… I wish I had known then what I know now. I wish I could go back in time and tell that young man that nobody ever has to fear being alone. You see, my faith was just starting back then, but it has fully matured now. I now know that I was never alone. I now know that there was someone sitting right next to me on that cheap motel room bed all night long, with his loving arms draped around me. And I now know his heart ached for me as much as my heart ached with loneliness. More importantly, I also now know… that he knew all along… that I would be okay! 

The difficulties in life are designed to make us better, not bitter.

~ Anonymous

Followers

I saw a funny joke on Thanksgiving that got me thinking…  If Jesus were on social media today, how many followers would he have? I know He would have at least one!

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “Thank you”, that would be enough.

~ Meister Eckhart

Stepping Stones

I’ve noticed there are a lot of people on the Internet now who are referred to “Influencers”.  Most of them are posting videos of themselves in order to get attention, become famous, and make some money. And I grant you some of it is interesting, but a lot of it is just a waste of time and not a positive influence at all. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I can be an influencer myself. In fact, maybe we all can be… but can we always provide a positive influence?

When I was managing an MSBL Baseball Team in Phoenix a few weeks ago, a lot of the guys were new to the team. So when the tournament was over, I made sure to spend extra time talking to the players, letting them know how much I appreciated their hard work and the great effort they put forth. One of the guys, who turned out to be one of the best players on our team, told me an interesting story.

He said, “Back home I play on a local MSBL Baseball Team with guys of all ages, anywhere from 18 to 65 years old. And because I’m one of the older guys, I have to work harder, practice more often, and be extremely dedicated just to keep up with all them young bucks. But right before I left town for Phoenix, one of my teammates told me that the President of our league back home said I wasn’t a good player and that I wouldn’t do well at the MSBL World Series. I hate to admit it, but that remark hurt my confidence and made me question my ability when I first got here.” I immediately cut him off and said, “You gotta be kidding me! You were a super star on our team. That guy must be blind and whoever repeated that remark to you didn’t do you any favors either.” He responded back, “Fortunately, one of the guys on our team reminded me about all the hard work and practice I put in just to get here, so I decided to focus on those positive thoughts instead of letting somebody else’s stupid remarks influence my thinking.”

And that got me thinking… If you are a manager, a supervisor, a coach, a teacher, a parent, or just somebody’s friend… you are an influencer. Just keep in mind that if you criticize somebody in a negative manner, you may well create a stumbling block to their success. On the other hand, if you praise the hard work somebody is putting in, and then use your knowledge to give them pointers in the right direction, you may well become a stepping-stone to their success!

I create my success from within.

~ Deepak Chopra 

Want for Nothing

I attended a retirement party for a friend of mine, named Bob, on Saturday night. He is only 5 years older than me, so it kind of made me stop and think about my life in general and what I have accomplished so far. I found myself thinking, “What good have I accomplished, and have I truly made a strong effort to serve society? Or has my focus been more about my own wants and needs rather than the needs of others?”

Bob was in the Marine Corps back in the 60’s and is a full-fledged Vietnam Veteran. Coincidentally, the party on Saturday night, November 10^th, just happened to be the 242^nd birthday of the United States Marine Corps. So… Hoorah! Believe me, I admire Bob for his courage and I have great respect for anyone who has served in the military, police, or fire departments. What they do is extremely dangerous, extremely important, and extremely service oriented since everything they do is about protecting all the rest of us. So every time I see uniformed service personnel, I feel compelled to take a moment to thank them for their service… and they always seem to appreciate it!

Therefore, since today is Veterans Day, it seems only right to celebrate the people that serve our country and our communities. But let me make a point that you might not have considered. You don’t have to be in the military, or in the police or fire department for that matter, in order to serve others. There are hundreds of ways to serve others that will improve lives and make a good difference. Even in your own personal relationships, you can make a huge difference by putting others first and yourself second.

Here is an example. On Sunday my wife agreed to go golfing with me (even though she didn’t really want to) because she knew it would make me happy. As soon as we were done with golf and returned home, she made me a fabulous gourmet dinner. Then today, Monday morning, she cooked me breakfast and then made extra meals that we delivered to her elderly parents. Afterwards, around noon we stopped at a nursery where she picked up a potted plant to take to our Chinese Lady Friend, who is 94 years old and often lonely, but loves to garden. After visiting with our friend, Pao Chi Chen, I had some lighting work to do, so my wife went shopping at the mall, where she purchased a couple of Christmas gifts for our grandchildren. If I were to list all the things I did the last two days to help others, it would be a very short list. So obviously, my wife is the one who understands the importance of living life in the service of others; she is an inspiration to me and truly someone I desire to emulate. I am thankful for the example she sets for me and everyone else she serves.

So what’s my point… When we put ourselves first, we will often spend our days wanting. When we put others first, we will want for nothing!

May you live as long as you want,

And never want as long as you live.

~ Irish Blessing

Balancing Act

I just returned home from playing baseball in the MSBL World Series Tournament in Phoenix. And for the first time ever, I wasn’t just a player, I was actually the manager of the team as well. Wow… did that ever change my perspective on the game!

I’ve played in two previous World Series Tournaments and done fairly well but being a team manager requires a whole different skill set than being a player and it’s definitely a balancing act. All game long, a manager has to take three different sets of criteria into account.

1.       Physical – What are the current physical skills of each player and how are they holding up?

2.       Mental – What is the best position for each player in order to produce maximum results?

3.       Emotional – What can I do to keep each player feeling positive about their place on the team?

So, since this was a brand-new 19 player team, it took me two full games before I could accurately judge the skills of each player and unfortunately by that time we had lost both games. By the third game, we were starting to gel as a team. Unfortunately, we faced one of the top ranked teams in the league and although it was a close game, we lost that game as well. The next day we were scheduled to play a double-header and with a record of 0-3 and several players unhappy because they were on the bench most of game 3, the morale of the team was pretty low. One more loss meant we would not make the play-offs, so that forced me to make a tough decision. Do I play only the best 9 players in order to increase our odds of winning? Or do I play everybody to show respect to my players and hopefully boost morale as well?

As I ran that question through my head, I remembered something I heard from one of the top guys in my league back home before I left for the World Series. He told a friend of mine, “Thrailkill doesn’t know how to manage to win. He’ll be a loser as a manager.” That criticism didn’t bother me because the guy who said it is a “win at all costs” type of manager. But when I remembered his criticism, it did force me to think about my decision. How badly do I want to win, and am I willing to throw guys under the bus (or in this case under the bench) in order to do it?

As I looked around at all my players in the dugout, the decision became perfectly clear… Win or lose, we’re going to do it as a team. By the end of the day, after using all 19 players, we now had 2 wins and I have to say our morale was pretty damn high. Granted, we still had one more game to win to secure a spot in the playoffs, but our confidence was soaring.

In the final game of the round robin play, we faced a team that had a better record and that looked really impressive during warm ups. This was a must win situation, so the question about who to play came up once again. I decided to speak to everyone on my team and let them know that we had to field our strongest players, but that I would do my best to get other players into the game as well. I think they all understood the situation and appreciated my honest communication.

At first things looked really promising. We jumped out to a 7-1 lead, but by the 7^th inning, things started to fall apart. The other team kept pounding ground balls at us and my third baseman kept making errors. My assistant coach suggested I pull him, and I fully intended to do that as soon as the inning was over, but I couldn’t pull him out in the middle of an inning. It’s one of those unwritten rules that you just don’t do that to a ballplayer. Then he made a fourth error and my heart sunk for him. I’ve been in his shoes and it’s a terrible feeling, but eventually we got out of that inning. The bottom line is that you don’t lose a game based on the performance of any one player… and you don’t win a game based on any one player.

Even though we put out a very strong effort, we ended up losing that game and failed to make the play offs. So that league guy back home could easily gloat that he was right, “Thrailkill is a loser!” But in my opinion, none of the guys on my team went home feeling like a loser. They played hard, showed a lot of respect for each other, and won two games against veteran teams that were ranked much higher than us. In our team meeting after the final game, there wasn’t a single person moaning or complaining, just a bunch of guys shaking hands and sharing hugs after a hard-fought battle that included 6 tough games over 4 hot days in the Phoenix suburbs.  

I guess you could say my new perspective is that you don’t have to win a ring… to feel like a winner!

Respect your fellow human beings, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, 

enjoy their friendship, and work together with them for a common goal. 

You won’t believe what you can achieve… together.

~ Bill Bradley

Insight into Integrity

Besides being a “lighting guy” I’m also a landlord with a couple of rental homes in Ladera Ranch. I like working with my hands, building things, and repairing things, so being a landlord gives me lots of opportunities to do that type of work. But it also means I have to spend a lot of time going to places like Home Depot to pick up tools and parts.  

Last week I wanted to install a new screen door at one of the homes. After buying it at Home Depot in Mission Viejo, I remembered that my tenant has a dog. Dogs and screen doors don’t mix, but I know they sell protective metal guards that mount to a screen door, so back to Home Depot I went. When I arrived, I grabbed a small packet of self-tapping screws that I knew I would need and then picked out a large 36”x36” screen door protective guard. The box was awkward to carry, so I put the packet of screws in my pocket and then shopped around for a few more items. Ten minutes later I went through the self check-out counter and was half way back to Ladera Ranch when I realized that I forgot about the packet of screws in my pocket. OMG… I just did something really wrong… I robbed Home Depot and got away with it! Except my conscience wouldn’t let me do it.

And that got me thinking… If you make an honest mistake, does it mean you’re not honest? For example, if the Store Manager at Home Depot had seen me put that packet of screws in my pocket and walk out, he would have had every right to stop me and have me arrested. I could explain that it was an honest mistake, but sometimes people don’t care. They get mad at you anyway because you messed up and caused a problem in some way.

And that got me thinking even more… I pride myself on my honesty and integrity, but that doesn’t mean I’m perfect or that I never make a mistake. We’re all human, so I think the honesty and integrity part comes into play after you make a mistake. Do you immediately apologize and do everything you can to fix the problem and make it right? If so, then you are a person of integrity in my book and the door to my home will always be open to you!

P.S. I didn’t actually apologize to anyone, but I did take the packet of screws back to Home Depot the next day and swiped them through the check-out register in order to properly pay for the screws. You see, I just couldn’t live with myself if I “screwed” Home Depot.

Honesty and Integrity are the first 

two chapters of the book of wisdom.

~ Thomas Jefferson 

Open Your Eyes

My wife and I are currently on vacation in Kauai and staying in a private home that has an absolutely gorgeous view. The house sits on top of Honu-Point Bluff, about 400’ above the ocean, with a 280 degree of the never-ending white-water waves that keep rolling in down below. It is the most beautiful location we’ve ever rented, so we feel extremely blessed and are enjoying every minute of it.  

But the ocean isn’t even the most beautiful sight at this location. I would have to say it’s a toss-up between the morning sunrises and the evening sunsets. They are amazingly brilliant and extremely colorful every single day... and colorful is an understatement! Being a lighting nerd, let me tell you something about color. When you look at an object that is blue or red, it will only appear blue or red, if those colors exist in the light source that is shining on it. Therefore, the color of an object is actually a reflection of the color that emanates from the light source. Fortunately for us, the sun produces every color in the rainbow (and then some) creating a very colorful world for us to enjoy. I almost feel like God paints us a beautiful picture every morning to help us start our day and then paints us a photogenic sunset to remind us to appreciate the day we just had. The sad thing is that I get so busy sometimes that I miss out on God’s daily visual gifts. However, being on vacation has opened my eyes… so to speak!  

And that got me thinking… Perhaps the same rainbow of colors that God created for our world also exist inside each one of us as human beings. I wonder if we somehow emanate red when we are angry, or yellow when we are sad. Or maybe the green inside of us comes out when we are charitable, but when we are cold towards our fellow human beings we turn ice blue. Since colors only appear when they exist within the source, let me ask you a question. What color will you paint your world today?  

Kauai Sunrise

Kauai Sunset

One way to open your eyes to the beauty of this world is to ask yourself, 

“What if I had never seen this before? What if I knew that I would never see it again?”

~ Rachal Carson

The Change in Me

I watched “The Tour Championship” Golf Tournament this weekend. As I watched the golfers compete, an age-old question came to mind, one that’s really hard to answer. Can people really change?

I’ve heard it said a hundred times that people never really change. Psychologists say that our personalities are fully formed by the time we are 7 or 8 years old, but I’m not sure if I really believe that. However, those same psychologists say that a woman should not marry a man expecting to change him, and that is definitely something I believe. So I’m not sure what the real answer is. But I do know what I want it to be!

My favorite golfers are guys like Jordan Spieth, Ricky Fowler and Phil Mickelson. They are world class golfers who are probably also world class men. Whenever I watch a golf tournament, they appear to be humble, friendly, and genuinely appreciative of their fans. I can’t say the same thing about Tiger Woods. I’ve always loved watching him golf, but the terrible things he did to his family really turned me off. It wasn’t only the things he did in his personal life, he just always seemed to be a bit too arrogant and aloof.

Of course, a lot of years have gone by since Tiger fell from the mountaintop. As I watched him compete yesterday, I wondered, “Has he truly changed?” The first few days of the tournament he seemed so different. He was smiling, joking with the other golfers, and even took time to acknowledge his fans. On the final day, he still seemed like the new Tiger… until about halfway through the round. All of a sudden, I saw that look in his eye. He stopped noticing the fans and as he walked to the next tee box he was visibly different. He kept his head down, ignored the crowd, and walked like a man on a mission. It was very reminiscent of the old Tiger and for a moment I wondered if the old Tiger had resurfaced. Was this a resurgence of his arrogant aloofness or simply competitive intensity? The answer came quickly at the end of the tournament, Tiger smiling and exhibiting a reborn love for the game and his historically important place in it. I’m no psychologist but my guess is that Tiger has learned a few life lessons along the way.

I guess you could say I’m a lot like Tiger. No, not in my golf game, but definitely in the way that I too had to learn a lot of important life lessons along the way. I used to have a bit of a temper, I used to work too many hours, and I used to focus way too much on my own wants and needs. Over the years (and because I married such a brilliant woman), experience has taught me to be more patient, lead a more balanced life, and broaden my perspective. It’s too bad that most of the time, wisdom requires experience and experience requires time, but that’s just the way it is. The good news is that the answer to that age-old question is YES!... People can change and usually for the better. They just have to want to change!

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? 

Only one, but the light bulb has got to want to change.

~ Anonymous

True Friends

This past weekend my wife and I invited a couple over for dinner and to enjoy the sunset at our beach house. We really like them and have known them for over 20 years. In fact, our youngest daughter and their youngest daughter were best friends growing up. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see them as often since we moved away from the Rancho Santa Margarita area.

At first glance they would probably appear to be just your ordinary average couple. They live in a typical south Orange County neighborhood and are loving parents to four really great children who are now young adults. But once you get to know them, you can see that there is something very different and very special about them. But first let me tell you a little bit about them.

They are both really good athletes, who run, ride bicycles, and play volleyball on a regular basis. They are heavily involved in their church and always have been. They give whatever extra money they have to their church and to support ministries related to their Christian faith. They smile a lot and always seem extremely happy together, holding hands and kissing each other quite often, so they are definitely still in love despite being married for over 30 years. In fact, they seem to just “love life”! In addition, they must love most other people too because I have never heard either one of them say a bad word about anyone. They spend most of their time praising people and because of that, they have a huge flock of friends that totally love and respect them back. They are not rich with money, but I truly believe they wouldn’t be any happier if they won the lottery. They are already as happy as they can be because of their faith and love for each other.

When they got ready to leave, something popped into my head, so I stopped them at the door. I said, “Thank you for coming over. We consider your friendship very special for many reasons, but there’s one reason why that might surprise you. Whenever we spend time with you, we feel better about ourselves! It’s almost like you have this loving aura about you that rubs off on the people you spend time with.  

And that got me thinking… I wonder if that is what it was like back in the time of Jesus. I wonder if people felt better about themselves just by being around Him. I am not saying that these two friends of mine are angels sent from heaven, but I definitely believe they will both end up being “angels in heaven” someday. And in the meantime, they’ve opened up my eyes to what true friendship is all about. If you love life, love the Lord, and love all others, you can’t help but be a true friend to all who come across your path.

A true friend is that rare person who will ask you how you are… 

and then actually wait for the answer.

~ Anonymous

The Power of Love

Thirty years ago, I read a book that dramatically changed my life for the better. The “Greatest Secret in the World” contained 10 secret scrolls that were guidelines to live by and you were supposed to read each scroll 3x a day for a month in order to absorb the information into your subconscious. I followed those instructions and found that it worked for me and those guidelines have been a part of my life ever since.

Last week, I was showing the book to a friend and afterwards I decided that it might be a good idea for me to go through a “refresher course”. So, I decided to read each scroll three times a day for a week over the next 10 weeks. I started Monday with the first scroll that begins, “I will greet each day with love in my heart.” The essence of that scroll is to greet everyone you meet by saying silently to yourself, “I love you.” And letting that love show through your actions and words, which is not necessarily an easy thing to do!

Sure enough, I was tested on Tuesday. If you live at the beach and have a carport instead of a garage, you shouldn’t own a black truck. But being not so very brilliant, that’s what I own. Every day it’s covered with sea salt spray and needs to be constantly washed. So Tuesday I went to a Chevron Station with a drive through car wash. As I was pulling in, a man came rushing out on foot with a receipt in hand. Instantly I knew that something was wrong and as I turned the corner I could see his car stopped at the controller, with only wife and dog still in the car. It was about 10 minutes before the driver came back with a new receipt and for the next 5 minutes he tried to punch in the info but couldn’t get it to work. I’m getting bummed because I need to get to an appointment. Eventually his wife gets out of the car with the receipt in hand and as she walks by me I roll down my window and offer to help. She responds with a dirty look and storms off to the front of the gas station. Another 5 minutes goes by and now I am really worried about being late, so I get out and walk up to the guy’s car. Fortunately, I have read scroll #1, so with love in my heart, I ask the man very politely, “Do you need help? I’ve noticed that sometimes the code numbers are hard to read.” He says no, my wife is handling it. At that point, I gently suggested he drive through the car wash opening and then get back in line because there are four cars behind him that have been waiting a long time. The guy rudely ignored my suggestion, rolled up his window and basically blew me off.

As I walked back to my truck, I felt pretty good about how I handled the situation. I was kind, I was polite, and I offered my sincere help. But most importantly, because of Scroll #1, I didn’t tell the guy to “F#&%@#&*off”, like I really wanted to. Did the guy do the right thing, no! Did I do the right thing, yes! And for the rest of the day I felt pretty good until the next morning when I woke up and saw once again how dirty my truck was and decided… I might have love in my heart, but what I really need is a brain in my head!

I will greet each day with love in my heart, 

for this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. 

Muscle can split a shield and even destroy life, 

but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of men.

~ Og Mandino

The Wrong Room

For over 40 years I’ve been an entrepreneur and have absolutely loved it. There’s something about creating a business from scratch, overcoming obstacles, finding ways to grow it, and then finally seeing it reach a successful level that is very satisfying. In my case, I’ve started three lighting companies in three different business sectors, maintenance, engineering, and distribution and through the grace of God (and also some hard work) all three eventually became very successful. Even though all three companies were quite different, all three shared certain “business principles” that were integral to their success. One of the most important principles involves people, or should I say the choices we make about people.

As far back as High School, I realized that the people I associated with were either going to drag me down or lift me up. The smokers, drinkers, and druggies had zero ambition, so I didn’t enjoy their company, and I certainly didn’t learn anything from them. On the other hand, I was also unable to relate to the super smart people because they were just a little too nerdy for me. So instead, I sought out interesting people who had their own unique dreams and goals and were willing to work for them like I knew I was. Little did I know that my decision to seek out the right people back then, would be a guiding principle for the rest of my life, both in business and in personal relationships.

Recently I started a fourth company in a completely different industry. It involves manufacturing a unique product that is sold to companies that build solar parking canopies. I am not familiar with the Solar Industry and I don’t know anyone who is involved in that industry, so I am truly starting from scratch on this one. But one of the first things I will do is find the right people to connect with, people who are intelligent, experienced, and knowledgeable in areas where I am lacking. If I can find the right people to surround myself with, I can find success a lot faster, and probably enjoy the experience a lot more.

I thought about that business principle last night as I was talking to my 19 year old grandson.  We had a "Family Taco Party" for him because he's leaving tomorrow to head back to college. He will be a junior this year and has chosen business as his major, but more importantly, he's at a point in his life where choosing his friend is also going to be one of the most important decisions he will ever make. I told him that I was glad he was taking business classes and that if he ever needed help or advice to please call me. I also gave him a quick bit of unsolicited but highly relevant advice, "When it comes to business, or people, or people in business, the choices you make will determine the path you take." Choose wisely!

If you’re the smartest person in the room, 
you’re in the wrong room.

~ Confucius

I think SpongeBob might be talking about me!

Really Small Things

My wife and I are planning on taking a vacation to Kauai this coming September. We’ve gone on vacation there quite a few times and absolutely love it...and why not, it’s a true taste of happiness!

We typically stay in a vacation rental home that either has a golf course view or an ocean view. The ocean views are breathtaking in Kauai where the water seems to be so much more spectacularly blue than anywhere else. The Makai golf course on the north shore is also spectacular with over a dozen ocean view holes and pristine white sand bunkers that are as pretty as the white sand beaches. Most of the rental homes come with surfboards, boogie boards, bicycles, and beach chairs, so you have all the things you need to enjoy this warm tropical paradise. Let me tell you, it’s such a great vacation spot that I found myself lying in bed last Saturday morning, just dreaming about being there.

But here’s the funny thing. When I woke up that morning and told my wife that I had been dreaming about Kauai, she asked me, “What’s your favorite memory of our vacations there?” I had to think about it for a while. I could have said, “Well of course it’s when we honeymooned in Kauai. Or I could have mentioned the time that I played 60 holes of golf on my 60^th birthday at Makai Golf Course. Or I could have picked our long romantic walks along gorgeous “Secret Beach”.  Or when we hiked over 5 miles on the Napali Coast Line to a secluded waterfall. There are absolutely dozens of memories I could have picked, but I got distracted with a phone call and never actually answered her question.

It just so happens, last Saturday my oldest daughter got married and headed off with her new husband to Hawaii for their honeymoon. While they were gone, my wife and I took care of her two small children. On Thursday they attended a camp at The Ocean Institute in Dana Point and afterwards we decided to walk around the nearby shopping center and look for an ice cream parlor. We walked around for quite a while before finally stumbling onto the perfect place. It’s called, “Lappert’s Ice Cream” and the reason it’s perfect is because it’s the answer to my wife’s question. My favorite memory of Kauai is when we would walk over to the North Shore Village and get a double scoop of Lappert’s Ice Cream in a waffle cone. I know, it sounds like a really small thing, compared to surfing, swimming, bicycling, golfing, and all that. But sometimes it’s the really small things that make the best memories. And let me explain why this memory is so special. Whenever I think about eating ice cream in Kauai, I picture my wife and I sitting on the block wall out front, holding hands, laughing, smiling and just, you know, being in love. And Thursday, as I watched my wife smiling at our grandkids with her cute little dimples, I fell in love with her all over again. And I learned something. Sometimes that taste of happiness you’re seeking is right there in your own back yard!

We do not remember days, we remember moments.

~ Cesare Pavese